i should maybe drop these, too.

i found myself with a lot of free time over 2011/2012 and did a lot of research, as a result of it.

the common genres are the same as always: techno, jazz, psychedelia, punk. this is a little more developed than usual, though.

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/12/best-of-most-of-2011.html

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/12/sporadic-2012-list.html

the stench did pick up around 3:00-10:00, but i seem to have survived the morning awake enough that i hope to finish a long day, today, and get this mostly done, in the process.

i'm listening to 2013 stuff, today.

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/12/2013-year-end.html

i don't actually think that i'm a tralfamadorian.

but, it's not dissimilar to my concept of time - i see my life as a blob that exists in a large scale continuum for future generations to take advantage of, not as this linear thing that i'm stuck moving through or taking advantage of.

so, i reject this false dichotomy between "the present" and "the past". it's a holistic whole. and, it's only meaningful from the perspective of the future.

i've moved twice.

the first time, i was told it was a non-smoking building, and it turns out there was a government-approved drug addict living below me.

the second time, i signed a non-smoking lease with somebody that all evidence suggests is a drug addict, but that won't admit it when i challenge him on it.

given the evidence in front of me, what would i expect to accomplish by moving a third time?

there doesn't appear to be a solution, here. i don't seem to have a choice to be sober. and, that's very saddening and angering and depressing.

so, when did i cancel my cable?

no, actually.

see, i never had cable at all.

my parents had basic cable. when i moved out, i didn't bother at all.

i first moved out in 2004. so, in a sense, that's the answer.

i've been up since 22:00, and they didn't notice.

that indicates i've cut out the listeners from the machine. that's a good step, at least.

i.

don't.

like.

it.

ok?

i was actually feeling pretty good, too.

alert. lots of coffee...kind of buzzy....

it was a nice change.

now, he's going to ruin my night by making me tired and lethargic. again. fuck.

i'm going to be grouchy all night because of it, end up with another short day because i'm so fucking tired i can't stay awake, and then sleep another 15 hours to try and shake it off.

ok, and as soon as i started posting, that fucking idiot started smoking.

this is indicating that he's waiting for me to wake up before he starts.

what a fucking piece of shit...

i don't watch tv, and you do.

that's why i'm so much more rational than you are, and you're so delusional and fucked up. it's a powerful, powerful brain-eating machine...

again: i know that liberal capitalists tend to be delusional about this kind of thing.

but, i don't believe in perseverance; what i believe in is empiricism. humans almost never beat the odds - that's why the odds are there. fighting against the universe is not a sign of integrity, it's a sign of stupidity. the math says you'll lose, and i'm more interested in being rational about it than trying to overcome it.

again: i'm sorry if you find that distressing, but it indicates a fundamentally different worldview.