my immune system may be suffering a little from a lack of exposure.

- i have hep a antibodies. i believe i was vaccinated, as it is standard to do the twinrix for kids in canada.

- i have hep b antibodies, but at a level too low to prevent infection. i believe i was vaccinated against hep b at the same time as hep a.

- i do not have hep c antibodies, indicating no exposure. there's no vaccine for hep c,  but most people can beat it.

- i don't have measles antibodies. at all. i'm sure i was vaccinated, but measles prevalence in canada is pretty low. i'm herd immune; my immune system hasn't had to eat any measles in so long that it doesn't bother preparing the antibodies.

- i have no evidence of exposure to hiv or to syphillis

i had to test this based on what's been going on here. i don't think they have at any point physically raped me, but they've drugged me in very disgusting ways, and it's the kind of thing that is very difficult to shake. i have no evidence i've been physically raped and no memory of it if it happened. i should leave it at that.

it does suggest that my lack of exposure to general pathogens over the last three years has reduced my immune response slightly, and i should be careful about that. i mean, i don't have leukemia, and i don't have aids, but you have to use your immune system or it breaks. it is really true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

i have noticed this; my response to allergies since april has been atrocious. i have had a constant runny nose for months.

everything else has come in reasonably well. i'll point out i tested around 11:00 am, which is right before i take my pills, and means this is the lowest point in a 12 hour cycle. i take t blockers every six hours but double up at noon and midnight. i take estrogen and progesterone every six hours, but also double up at noon and midnight, and swap sources every 6 hours. it should peak in the mid afternoon and in the early morning and dip before noon and before midnight. 11:00 am is about as low as it gets.

i did that on purpose. so interpret these results in that context:

- estrogen @ 452 (this is the trough, i haven't tested it recently at peak), which is perfect. the clinical rec for transgendered women is above 450, so if i'm troughing at 450, that's ideal. few post-menopausal women will maintain estradiol at that level. i don't menstruate or have a typical female cycle, but i go through a daily cycle of around 450-900, which is kind of crazy in a biological female context. cis-women don't fluctuate like that daily, they do it over a longer period from much lower to much higher. post-menopausal targets are generally more like 300ish. i've designed my hormone regimen to keep myself constantly high, rather than go through massive swings. i have a theory that the high suicide rates among transwomen are connected to the method of distribution, via injection. if i took injections (and my doctor periodically tries to talk me into it, because it's 'normal'), it would peak at up to 3000 and then fall to almost 0 over the month, which is a level of pms no cis woman has to suffer through. it's utterly insane the way they do it. no wonder so many of us kill ourselves. i have instead set this up in a way to ensure everything gets cycled repeatedly as estrone, which keeps me stabilized, and have consistently tested my estrone at levels in the several thousand. estrone is only weakly feminizing, but it reduces bad cholesterol, and is why my cholesterol is so insanely good. the estrogen at 450 indicates i'm getting enough, but this comes with a caveat, as the amount i'm taking is extremely high. it should be higher than that, really; that i'm troughing at 450 given how much i take is actually evidence i'm being drugged with testosterone or steroids, and that those drugs aren't working very well but are merely kind of dulling the edge off of my feminizing hormones. the estradiol is winning the fight. i expected that and have tried to explain, but they don't fucking listen.

- progesterone @ 19.9, which is pretty high in any context. that's like pregnant levels of progesterone.

- prolactin @30, which is due to the pregnant progesterone levels and is very good for breast size. 

- fsh & lh at 0. which is more pregnant biochemistry.

what?

no, i can't get pregnant. yet. one day, they might be able to stick a womb in there, but that's pretty tricky stuff, really. i would consider it not worth it, especially in my 40s.

- testosterone was at 0.5, which indicates i'd recently been drugged. it's usually at <0.3. 

my vitamin d was at 80, vitamin b12 was at 278 and my ferritin was at 34. i get my b12 from nutritional yeast, which i eat a lot of, and my iron from spices like oregano. i'm happy with my iron a little lowish, so long as it's not at the dangerous levels (under 10) it was at before. at 34, i'm not hauling around excess stores of iron, but i can create the hemoglobin i need.

my rbcs were at 3.67 and my hb was at 122. these are right at the bottom of normal female variability, and i've gotten used to that. it's predictable, and fine. my targets are that i want to keep my rbcs above 3.5 and my hb above 110. i have tested with rbcs <3 and my hb <100 in the last five years, and can't have that. these results are comparably healthy.

random glucose was 4.9, which is pretty low, and actually in a healthy range for fasting glucose. i had not been fasting. i had eaten a big bowl of soup after midnight and was working on an xl double double when i walked in; i didn't even think about it, as i was focusing on the t. i have no reason to be worried about diabetes. hba1c is 5, which is in the zero risk range.

non-fasting random cholesterol was 4.18 with hdl at 1.29 and ldl at 2.32. this is not as useful as a fasting test, but is just about ideal, for what it is. i have minimal concern about my cholesterol, which frequently tests my good cholesterol higher than my bad cholesterol, which is so healthy it's incoherent. like, you can't even make sense of that, it's so healthy.

i am mildly concerned about my kidneys, which goes back to being drugged. i'm also a little concerned about my liver. my egfr keeps coming in weird, but the issue is that there is evidence that my kidneys are being overworked, which is what i keep pointing out i'm concerned about, rather than evidence of any kind of decreased function or failure. so, my creatinine and albumin are both high, but the ratio is actually very, very low. this really continues to point in the direction that i'm being drugged with steroids, as these are both waste products from muscle building. as was the case with the ecg a few months ago, this is something you see in body builders. i am not a body builder, i do not lift weights, i do not take protein supplements, i do not take steroids and i am not interested in building muscle. the exercise i do is aerobic (walking, bicycling) and intended to lose weight, not build muscle. it's hard to make sense of this, except to point out that it looks like i'm on anabolic steroids. this may be a better argument to present as evidence of being drugged than the t levels, as my t blockers are effectively clearing the t, leaving the creatinine and albumin behind as proof. the urine creatinine is 37.84, which is over twice the reference range, and the urine albumin is 19, which is at the top of the range. the ratio is 0.5, which is relatively low. however, blood creatinine and ck (kidney tests) are in the reference ranges (88 and 68, respectively) and blood alt, for liver testing, is actually quite low (21). together, low blood levels and high urine levels suggest i'd recently cleared my system of the steroids, which may be building up in my bladder.

the results suggest that my liver and kidneys are both working fine, even extremely well, but it's producing a bottleneck at the actual excretion point. that is a lot of pissed out creatinine, which just demonstrates my point about the drugging being futile. the evidence is that i'm very successfully getting this shit out of me, and it isn't staying in my system very long - a few days, max. that's what i had deduced and why i wanted to be very careful about getting tested at the right time to catch it.

i need to remain concerned about my kidney and liver health, but what these results suggest is that my kidneys are working exceedingly well in very efficiently clearing the steroids, not that they're failing. i can't continue to push my luck. i'm not getting younger.

my tsh is at 0.74 which is about as low as you can get.

i am still waiting for a "broad spectrum toxicology screen" lab result to see if i can pick up anything like methamphetamines.

overall, i remain in startlingly good health. i would consider these results strong evidence i'm being drugged with steroids and will be presenting them to police as such.

canada is ready for an explicitly atheist, mature political movement on the democratic left.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irreligion_in_Canada

i would be looking at having this bloc-influenced secular left party essentially replace the ndp, which is too religious, in english canada.

what trump proved is that a sanders-type political candidate didn't fail because of his economic positions, but because of his paleo-right social positions. while sanders was happening, the right was abandoning these views and walking into a vacuum left by the left's retreat from secularism.

if sanders ran as an atheist and a secularist rather than as a family-values conservative, he would win.

i'm considering launching a new secular political party in english canada that is based on the bloc quebecois' secularist politics and roots itself in the enlightenment and french revolution and has the explicit goal of altering the constitution to strengthen the separation of church and state by indicating explicitly in the constitution that canada is a secular society.

if you think this is a good idea, send me an email.

my politics are laid out here over many years. they're pretty clear. i'm an old skool socialist that finds myself aligned with the alt right on issues of religion and culture, and wants to correct that by rebuilding a traditional atheist left, to realign the economic left to where it used to be on cultural issues.

canada has issues with food security, but tariffs are the dumbest conceivable approach.

rather, we need direct investment in local greenhouses - which have, in recent years, been increasingly wasted on growing marijuana.

canada has issues with local pharmaceutical production and the manufacture of medical equipment, but tariffs don't address any of the causes of the problems, they just increase costs and make things worse.

again, we need direct investment to build industry.

we can pay for this direct investment by taxing the americans when they buy our exports.

canada is not interested in darwinian-style capitalism and doesn't want to participate in trump's schemes. 

we should broadcast that with our behaviour. we should act like adults and punish the americans for acting like children.

the situation isn't equal and it's not helpful to pretend it is.

we have industry that manufacturers for their market because it costs less. trump wants to increase costs to create jobs. that isn't rational, and may kill the industry altogether, but they can do that.

they don't have industry that manufactures for us, even if they sell things here. we'd have to force them to build parallel everything, which is inefficient and expensive, and they won't do it.

we're better off letting them sell things here cheaply and sending them a bill for their antisocial behaviour. we should be unilaterally applying tort law on them, and holding them liable for failing to adhere to kantian ethics. we can do that with export taxes.

there will not be a trade deal signed before august 1st, or at all.

at best, we can try to shift import sources from the us to mexico or brazil. that might hurt them, but it doesn't benefit us.

our strategy should be focused on self-interest, not on harming others.

are there industries that currently manufacture in the us for the canadian market that we can bring to canada by increasing tariffs?

i can't think of anything.

we'd simply be punishing our own people. we should not do that.

responding with tariffs doesn't help canadians.

canada is currently beset with weak leadership. it needs to grow a pair and slap down some export taxes.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/article/canada-aims-for-new-us-trade-deal-by-aug-1-as-trump-threatens-35-tariffs-carney/

i'm utterly disgusted - and baffled and shocked - by mark carney's attempt to channel sarah palin.

yeah, smelling the burnt one a few times has me feeling pretty sick. ugh.

on second thought, i think there is a coil in the other one. i'd like to find a way to test the components, before i buy anything.

i am expecting i won't find a direct replacement. i might find a used diaphram. i think this is beyond that. 

i sent a query to celestion as to what other models of tweeters they might recommend.

i'm looking for two t3679 tweeters.

i'm going to want to compare costs for replacing the diaphrams with just buying new tweeters. i'm apprehensive that replacing the diaphrams won't be enough and i should just replace the whole things.

i think it's possible that the 20 watt nad wasn't enough for the celestions, and it took a few weeks for the damage to build up. you can blow a tweeter like this by underpowering it.

the other tweeter does have a coil, but it smells like it was recently burnt and has clear damage to it. i suspect this tweeter can be fixed, but i don't really know how. 

it worked as recently as june 29th, as i was able to play the tears for fears record on that date. that would indicate that the tweeter was damaged sometime after that.

i remember turning it on briefly on the 1st and i do recall a short in the system that i traced to a faulty rca wire and replaced. 

was that the cause of my headache? i'll note i smelled a strong burning smell.

whatever the cause, these speakers are not usable for the foreseeable future and i'm going to have to plan around it. i now have a vintage burnt out celestion tweeter, and a tweeter that doesn't seem to be labelled (or lost it's label) that has no coil.

given that they're both blown, i should just buy two new tweeters, in a matching set, and plug them in.

one of the tweeters has no coil. i have to presume that's the one that never worked. let me open up the other one.

in a small room, i need at least one tweeter. i don't want to listen to bass music.

they were working a few weeks ago.

 set up the jvc and the panasonic, which was the previous known good. i'm going to play through the tears for fears with the bass set to 0 and the treble set to 10 over and over for a while and hope they "come back".

i noticed that they are currently both depressed. that was not the case previously; previously only one was depressed. but they have no markings and no way to tell which is which.

something i might consider doing is buying a pair of separate tweeters and putting them on top of the celestions through the second speaker out, but i don't think that will sound very good

i don't have time for this right now.

so, there's no music in the bedroom for the foreseeable future because the speakers are broken. unfortunately. 

the tweeter in my other celestion has recently broken :(.

i don't know if they're worth fixing or if i should just throw them out, but they're entirely unlistenable at this point. there's no frequency response above 2000 Hz. it sounds like a cell phone. gross.

i'm not 13 years old and i can't listen to music through a cell phone.

fuck you. statisticians are valuable.

journalism has been rendered obsolete by blogging, to the point that the canadian government has come up with ridiculous wealth redistribution schemes just to stop the industry from collapsing altogether.

you want to pick on stats? your days are numbered, you glorified grammar nazi, you third grade english teacher with an inflated sense of self worth.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2025/07/10/trump-federal-data-census-bls-trade/?itid=hp_latest-from-the-post_p003_f002

does wesley snipes not dance or what?

truth is that video type cast him for decades.

trump does protect his friends, though. i actually like that. it's something the left calls solidarity.

most politicians don't.

uch-o.

when you challenge these people to provide evidence of genocide in gaza, they always change the topic to the west bank, which is a more grounded argument. 

listen: i was arguing this was a genocide 20 years ago. i was picking up cues from chomsky, who correctly pointed out it's not apartheid. apartheid is a type of slavery; israel has no intention to enslave the palestinians. i was annoyed at listening to people call it apartheid, as it wasn't. i suggested using the correct term, which was genocide in slow motion.

as the fake left has slowly adjusted it's blinders and begun to see reality for what it is, it has followed my lead, 20 years after the fact and started calling it a genocide. meanwhile, i've moved on to better adjust to the facts, and the fake left remains out of touch, by 20 years.

genocide is a fact of life. i don't exactly want to say "it's evolution, baby!', because that's not what i think, and it's not actually true. what is true is that it's not helpful to hold to these conservative - and that is what it is. it's paleo-right. - perspectives about culture, like you're some kind of anthropologist or something. we have to change and adapt.....and die. that's how it is.

there have been positive genocides in human history, as well. it's not inherently negative. in the distant past, steppe and forest peoples would periodically rise up against the slave traders in the settled areas, and we have half dozen examples of societies that were just burned to the ground and forgotten: ugarit, assyria, minoan crete, carthage, persia - these were cultures that got wiped out because they were horrible. they enslaved and raped and in some cases even ate their own children.

is palestine really that bad? are they michael jackson bad? george thorogood bad?

gowan bad?

gowan bad is bad. it's styx bad. that is the most aptly named band of all time, because being forced to listen to styx is like being sentenced to purgatory, in some conradian epic fail. it's apocalyptically bad, now.

i can imagine that there is some conradian parallel to the tunnel system in gaza, and there are some really damaged, crazy people down there, on the brink of reverting to homo erectus. damn it, kurtz, you've lost it.

ask one that's known them. are they really so bad?

arguably. 

i can't generate the slightest bit of empathy for them at this point. that's where i am. is it a genocide? yeah; and, good riddance. the world is better off without this culture, without these values, without this religion and without this race. it's not a question of guilt v innocence at this point, it's a process of pointing out that you can't de-radicalize them. it's a lost cause. if we could just flush it into the mediterranean; learn to swim i'll see you down in israel bay.

all that to ask - should this woman be sanctioned? well, that depends. i think her views are openly anti-jewish, and she'll deny it, but it's a facade. it's my opinion, however, that that is free speech. i don't think she poses any threat of harm to anybody, and if the argument is that she's creating frivolous indictments, then you fight that in court, not with ad hominems.

but nobody ever accused the trump administration of holding too close to enlightenment values, which is the irony of the situation. there's no discernible good guy here.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/francesca-albanese-sanctions-news-1.7581584

is he taking money directly from elon musk or just fantasizing about sucking his cock on the weekends?

ugh.

the ndp have an incredible opportunity in front of them, but all evidence suggests they'll fuck it up.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/video/2025/07/08/ctv-national-news-carney-seeking-cost-cutting-options-within-government-operations/

tariffs on pharmaceuticals are complicated. yes, it's shitty to try to increase the cost of medicine. however, you want to manufacture these items locally, too. it's important to point out that slapping tariffs on pharmaceutical imports is extremely unlikely to actually succeed in increasing domestic manufacturing, as it doesn't address any of the root causes of the problems. if government steps in, it's just a handout to drug companies. the united states needs more intelligent drug plan reform than this!

however, semiconductors and chips (and evs and weapons and vaccines and medical equipment) are the kind of thing that you correctly use tariffs to protect the domestic manufacturing of, and i would support high tariffs on these items. 

i'm far from an advocate of free markets. tariffs aren't good or bad, what they are is hard. most politicians don't have the brains to use them, fuck up and get burned for it, so the broad advice is don't try, citing the wisdom of homer j. trump will lose, overall. he's right this time.

i was just tested at the highest testosterone level i've ever been tested at.

it's still very low, but it's higher than it's ever been, and this is the outcome i was dreading. it's abundantly clear that i've been drugged. however, you wouldn't realize that if you weren't familiar with my chemistry.

i'll have to write an essay.

Normal testosterone levels in adult males typically range from 8.7 to 29 nmol/L.

in women, the normal range is 0-1.8.

i generally test at < 0.4 - trace levels. 

this result was 0.5, indicating it was not trace.

what it demonstrates is that the t-blockers are clearing the t out.

sunday's meal: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

monday's meal: two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. 

i finally made it to one of the food banks this afternoon, and what i got is very focused on the pasta i'm going to be eating almost every day for the rest of this month. i also filled in some ingredients, like avocados and carrots and ceasar dressing and cheese and juice and this is ready to go for the next several weeks. as was the case previously, the first days directly after the food bank are dedicated to consuming the less nutritious donations. 

i had two builders protein mini bars to start, one at 4 pm and one around 10 pm. these are chocolate and peanut butter and have 10 g of protein, 1.75 mg of iron, dangerous amounts of sugar if you're diabetic and zero vitamins or other minerals. they tasted pretty good. i'd call these junk food, but they were decent sources of energy when i was biking around town grocery shopping.

i took a walk to get a coffee around 23:00 because i couldn't believe that coffee was $15 until i checked every store. i drink a lot of coffee and i'm going to have to pay it, but i'm annoyed. coffee used to be $5.99/canister and it was $9.99 forever, until a few weeks ago. this is rapid and sudden, given that we're talking about small amounts. 

the tim's was closed, so i had to go to the 7-11 on wyandotte instead. *shrug*. i was going to get a muffin, but i got a taquito with my coffee.

i am now sitting in front of the computer, about to watch jon stewart, with a bag of sour cream and onion "real vegetable chips", which are chips made out of sweet potatoes and parsnips. they have a ms vickies type taste to them, but are sweet and not spicy. i also have a regular bag which will be consumed quickly. i might suggest ms vickies instead.

i will be making a few containers of chinese noodles, with rice and some other things, this morning. this will be the crux of the tuesday meal.

i have some other thing like halloween size crispy crunches, licorice, ginger bread, baby cookies, jello and goldfish crackers, but this is the crux of the "junk food" to be eaten in the first iteration.

i will post my chinese noodles recipe. it won't be very chinese, but i do have some tamarind sauce.

my hair is better but a lot thinner. the film in my hair appears to have been an attempt to curl it by somebody that wants to make me look ethnic. they keep doing this, but i simply don't have curly hair, so it simply doesn't curl, it tangles and knots. the end process of cleaning this is essentially melting out the tangled dead strands with pressure, soap and hot water (if you want the chemistry), which is necessary but also extremely depressing. the result is something that looks vaguely normal, but uncharacteristically thin. these disgusting idiots need to go to jail.

i'm coming to the slow conclusion that the lesbians bought this house on july 1st and at least one of them has been here since, same as before. they drugged me again, i think on the 26th, but possibly on the 1st. it's a total rewind - i'm back where i started.

i got my blood taken today and expect it to be deeply incriminating. i'll need to give it a day or two, and then i can get the results to the cops. 

i should have t levels comparable to a post-menopausal female. they should be trace to barely measurable, something like 0.4-0.6. if they come in higher than that, that's evidence to use to indict. i would expect my estrogen and progesterone are not that much lower, though. i also tested for a lot of other stuff and we'll see what it says.

they seem to have been in here when i was gone.

i'll have a longer write up soon, but what an awful week. the upside is that i should finally get the evidence i need at the end of it to put these pieces of shit in a cell, where they belong.

the bill threw millions of people off health insurance and slashed social spending across the board.

that's not right-wing enough for elon.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/article/musk-says-america-party-is-formed-in-us/

thursday's meal: the oatmeal, and a bowl of spaghetti-os later, plus spices and vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

friday's meal: a can of stew with a can of corn, plus spices and vitamins.

saturday's meal: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

the last few days have been frustrating. i'm concluding that the stalkers are here and they probably drugged me last thursday, as i'm noting that i had a splitting headache on tuesday night, vicious diarrhea early on thursday morning after eating and then woke up on thursday morning shivering. these are all symptoms of being drugged, and i'm left in the difficult situation where i don't know if they have a key or not and consequently don't know if it's safe to leave.

i'm not quite sure what to do.

i will finish a longer narration later, but i've been focusing on cleaning my hair since the last update and frustrated to realize it got worse, making me wonder if they got in here some how.

every single american on the planet should be embarrassed to the core of their being by what just passed both houses in the united states. america has never been so depraved, so despicable and offered such poor opportunities to exist within. canada ought to get up and walk away.

tell donald trump to go fuck himself - we'll sign a free trade deal with china, and ship them our oil instead. 

you're just about out of munitions last i heard, yankee doodle, because you wasted all your war machines on fighting a pointless war in russia.

at least the chinese won't try to force us to cut our health care to buy more guns.

no, i don't think that we should slash services to pay for death machines (although we already have), and if that is what carney intends to do, the ndp should force an election. 

canadians don't want that at all.

now that trump has his tax cut, he can spend the afternoon in his golf cart fantasizing about arnold palmer's cock.

i went to start the day yesterday with some dishes and cleaning by sunrise and got that done effectively, but i ended up deciding to wait until my bras dried before i got into the shower yesterday morning, which resulted in sleeping until close to noon. they were still mildly damp, so i got a coffee and got a first run on filing email before eventually getting in in the afternoon.

after struggling for several hours, i did get out to let the conditioner sit and realized it was worse than i thought, until it wasn't. it's weird how that works, and i have seen it before. right when you're about to give up, it cleans out.

there is a goopy film that keeps getting in my hair and knotting it up. my hair is naturally very thin and straight; it shouldn't be knotting up like this, and it wouldn't be if this shit wasn't getting in it. i strongly suspect that the cause is second-hand marijuana smoke. this is something i had never experienced before 2023, but have experienced multiple times since, and i know it takes about a week of persistent cleaning in order to wash it out. i've also consistently noticed after i'm done cleaning it that breakage occurs on the side when it gets knotted up, making me wonder how it's getting in there and if it's still being periodically cut. is the second hand marijuana smoke actually making my hair fall out? is it that toxic, really? these despicably gross people stalking me have cut my hair previously, but the areas on the side aren't the areas i've been keeping note of, in terms of overall length. cutting my hair at these points would be a more subtle form of assault. 

i initially got out around 16:00 to let the conditioner sit, typed a little, got back in and rinsed. it was at this step that the film finally started to come out, but it's not complete. i need at least one more day.

the cleaned hair is far thinner than it was a few weeks ago and i don't have a good explanation for that.

i got out the second time closer to 19:00 with the intent of rinsing and pausing, took some pills and wanted to eat, but instead passed out with little memory of it and woke up close to 22:00 to the sounds of people talking and feet trampling, to an overwhelming smell of a heavy smoke i don't recognize and to a vicious hemiplegic migraine. i was able to wake up for long enough to slam some tylenol and make another kd + chick peas meal, but i then completely passed out until almost 6:00 am. i've been continuing to struggle with the migraine all day.

i've been trying to get my hair washed, to do some laundry and get out to the food bank all week, but it hasn't worked itself out yet. i am getting there. the kd + chick peas, with the various leftover items i documented, does work in that context, as i wouldn't use it for anything else. i had three boxes, and have now consumed all of them; i am also out of chick peas, amongst the other things i noted. i will need to get back in schedule over the next few days, but do still have out of place items, including some instant oatmeal to eat. i've decided the best way to eat the oatmeal is every few hours in containers of two. it follows that the wednesday meal was the kd and i'll be eating through the instant eatmeal, which is at least a good source of iron, all day on thursday. i'll want to add something else to that later.

i've been waiting until after 23:00 before i get in the shower again, to ensure i wait at least 24 hours between shampoo applications. 

tonight, i need to do my general monthly clean, which is a little different. i bought a desk for a sewing machine, but i won't be able to set it up for a while, so i'm going to move it into the kitchen for now. that will stop me from eating in the bedroom, and get me eating in the kitchen. that will in turn help me set up a few things in the bedroom, so it's some progress. on top of the laundry and food bank run, the thing in front of me remains email filing and legal work, and i need to get that going.

but, the point of getting rid of trudeau is that he was trying to be america's bitch, and wouldn't take no for an answer. canada's entire trade policy was based on the idea that we're america's bestest ever friend and we would love them and kiss them and never let them go.

the reason that trudeau resigned, and the reason we ditched him, and the reason we went to go find a banker from england to take his job, is that we weren't going to do that anymore, because it was embarrassing and shameful and ineffective. it didn't work!

it has taken roughly three months for carney to end up in exactly the same situation as trudeau. he should not expect different results.

the correct thing to do is call for a federal election.

i never want to see another motorcycle again.

they have no utility in today's world.

it's just completely wasteful, completely disgusting.

motorcycles should be banned. outright.

gross.

you don't thermoregulate at 21, you thermoregulate at 37.

and you evolved in a jungle.

like, wake up; 30-40 degrees is your natural habitat. you should thrive in that. 

you suffer because you're fat, you eat garbage and you don't exercise.

- 15 degrees is cold enough to need a sweater and maybe a jacket, unless you're right in the sun

- 20 degrees is enough to take the sweater off, usually, but still cold

- 25 degrees is just starting to warm up, but still uncomfortably cold.

- 30 degrees is a pleasant, comfortable temperature

- 35 degrees is hot enough to turn a fan on

- 40 degrees is hot.

if i was forced to have a window a/c by law, i would set it to 40 degrees, which is when it becomes justified to waste the energy.

the americans have been abundantly clear that they do not intend to lift the tariffs, which are permanent (for the next four years) and structural and intended to generate tax revenue.

our elected leaders are either deaf or stupid.

yeah, it's a step towards a complete collapse of sovereignty, is what it is.

it's like when a dog runs around your ankles, expecting a treat. this isn't sovereign trade policy, it's abjectly pathetic, and that's what the americans are taking note of, our complete reliance on them.

https://thelogic.co/news/canada-foreign-steel-usa-deal-leblanc/

it turns out the disgusting fat losers in the ndp want the whole world to be disgusting fat losers just like them.

i cannot think of a more right-wing policy that wastes more energy than mandating a maximum temperature of 26 degrees, which i would not adhere to.

advocates should be ashamed of themselves for pushing such a wasteful policy, which effectively cancels summer. is this the mr. burns party? why not just build a sunblocker?

26 degrees isn't even hot, it's cold.

get some exercise (lose some weight!) and wear less clothes, you fucking losers.

this is a more foolish war than iraq. ukraine has no possibility of success and has never had any possibility of success and people arguing otherwise are imbeciles operating on the delusion of faith.

it's been clear for a while that the tactic to bleed the russians was backfiring, and the americans were instead bleeding themselves. they need to cut their losses and get out.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jul/02/us-halts-ukraine-weapons-shipments

this idea of a publicly subsidized grocery store in new york city is a prime example of socialism for the rich. what this seems to be about is a way to subsidize businesses that don't pay their interns, without relying on the food stamps system used by poor people and blue collar workers, because that system is for poor people. the unpaid interns doing free work for businesses downtown and living in apartments rented by their parents are the educated children of the wealthy; they can't be using the same system of food welfare as the poor. instead, they need a parallel system intended to cater to their tastes, and to ensure they don't have to interact with the poor, or suffer the indignity of getting food stamps.

it would probably be more reasonable to just put them on snap and embarrass and shame everybody into just fucking paying them, but you can't have that in america. there are shareholders to report to.

so, the city has to step in instead. how do you fund such a thing? in the united states, i believe food stamps are federally funded. these grocery stores, if they are subsidized by the city, would have to come from property taxes, as that is where cities generate funds. who pays property taxes in new york city? not the wealthy living in their mansions on the water or upstate whose kids will rely on the publicly funded grocery stores, or people working downtown to pay rent and living in apartments. the answer is blue collar property owners, many of them unionized, and working in trades or services.

and, there you go - you get the blue collar working class paying to feed the children of the wealthy, who are living off government welfare. socialism for the rich.

you'll excuse these blue collar workers, however, if they point out that it seems a little more like taxation without representation than it does like socialism.

my hair just won't come clean, it keeps tangling up in knots. it's utterly disgusting. i may just have to rip it out with a heavy brush.

windsor is not quite as bad, but downtown ottawa on canada day is not recommended, at any age. i have memories as a young child of my dad just fucking screaming at people to grow up...

the city becomes scattered with smashed beer bottles and beer cans, cigarette butts (and i suppose joints, nowadays), turns into a mass public urinal with people pissing everywhere, etc. 

canada day was even worse than a roughriders game.

as stated, i'm not particularly adverse to having a beer in public. however, the type of people that gather in public on canada day, specifically, and the way they behave are things to strenuously avoid. it's peak grossness, truly.

it's been a while due to various reasons (i have barely left the house since the start of the pandemic, as my house got bought right when restrictions were easing and then i spent two years fighting off an aggressive attempt to steal my identity, which appears to be continuing in a new apartment), but i like to go out to concerts, and i have a tendency to drink in public.

however, there are a few days of the year that i generally don't like to go out on because the city gets ruined by drunk idiots, and canada day is one of them.

this just in

mark carney has agreed to give donald trump the sudetenland. that's right - carney is handing over the sudetenland.

after all, america has had socialism for the rich for decades.

this guy mamdani calls himself a socialist, but apparently cuomo actually won all of the core democratic constituencies, and mamdani actually managed to win the election by getting republicans, and specifically wealthy white ones, to vote. it looks to me like a continuation of the march towards white collar upper class control of the democratic party, and the continuation of the party's inability to generate candidates and policies that appeal to it's base.

"champagne socialist" is probably being nice, but we've seen quite a bit of this kind of thing from new york, recently. 

the danger is if unions and other core democratic constituencies get so alienated that they vote republican, and it's certainly possible. new york is actually ripe for that kind of thing.

in the short run, it looks like the wealthy elite in new york got their guy, at least for now.

did andrew cuomo campaign for mayor over powerpoint?

i changed my mind about the kd - it was my monday meal after all. in fact, it was a pretty big bowl and it took me most of the night to get through, which distorted my schedule. i wasn't finished until close to 5:00, when i stopped for a short sleep before getting up to do dishes, vacuum and clean the fridge as broadcast and then get into the shower after the sun came up, and i wasn't out of the shower until close to noon. i was getting tired, so i got out to sleep, with the thought that i'd finish washing my hair the next day.

this persistent film - which i suspect is secondhand marijuana smoke but am weirded out by - seemed to be mostly out, until it started to dry. unfortunately, there's enough of this film left in my hair to bunch it up on the sides, which prevents it from sitting loosely on my shoulders, and is extremely unattractive. worse, when it dried completely, the result was less hairspray and more blow dry, which is even more disgusting. the only thing more disgusting than hairsprayed hair is blowdryed hair. i don't have a shirt that says "$2 slut" on it and am not looking to buy one, sorry. yuck. i'm extremely grossed out by this, and i had never seen it before 2023ish, but i've seen it a few times since and i know it washes out, as gross and frustrating as it is. hopefully, today is the last day, and one more day of long showers ends this disgustingness. 

it does suggest the return of the loser stalkers this weekend, and i have heard them downstairs. it's a weird holiday weekend (tuesday is a holiday) in canada, and that's when these losers show up. what i'm learning from this is that modern psychiatry is as dumb as any other religion, and should be treated by rational people with the same amount of contempt and disdain that all other religions are. there's no other way to put it at this point. this is a bunch of magical thinking, a bunch of complete nonsense. it doesn't have the slightest empirical basis. you'd might as well be mumbling prayers at the wall. they keep coming back and as disgusting and frustrating as the situation is, the only way they can actually hurt me is through drugging me. they can babble bullshit at me when i'm sleeping all they want, so long as they don't drug me it's just as likely to have an effect on me as their prayers are to be answered. there's really not a functional difference between the therapy they're performing and sympathetic magic, as a form of prayer. this is what psychiatry has been reduced to in the absence of empirical direction, empty rituals that require deep faith in specious theory to even comprehend. what a sad display of futility and stupidity.

i have a blood rec that is waiting to go. i'll catch them if they fuck up. otherwise, as much as it pisses me off and makes me want to break their faces, i suppose they can waste their time on prayer and magic all they want. 

....the fucking idiots.

i just wish they'd go pray somewhere else where i can't hear them.

so, i woke up around 21:30, poked around online, tidied up a bit, cleaned my bras by hand in the sink as i do (you needed to know that) and got some more pasta running a little after 23:00. this recipe is a little lighter:

- the 2 cloves of garlic went into the bowl first

 

- i just made the kd in the bowl, next [food bank item]

- add pasta

- add margarine

- add "cheese" mix 

- add 100 g of grated marble cheese  [end of cheese]

- mix

- dump a can of chick peas in the large bowl [food bank item]

- add one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil

- add 1 tbsp of cumin, 1 tbsp of paprika, 1 tbsp of hemp seeds, 1 tbsp of nutritional yeast, 1 tbp of sunflower seeds

- add frank's

i finished this up about an hour ago and made some coffee. 

without the added ingredients, the combination of cumin and chick peas in the kd makes it taste like hamburger helper, which i haven't had in 20-30 years.

remaining items in the fridge are: chicken bone broth, beef broth cubes, a half a bulb of garlic, a half a pack of hemp seeds, a few tbsps of margarine.

i would estimate i have enough coffee left for two cups.

i do have piles of spices and canned food, and intend to do a big food bank run on friday.

this morning, then, will be the same as the last few days; i need to start with some minor cleaning, get in the shower just after sunrise, keep rehydrating and cleaning the film out of my hair until it's gone and then aim for laundry by the end of the day.

as mentioned, the next step is catching up on email and legal documents.

this is terrible:

Ottawa likes to point to energy efficiency standards. A washing machine made in B.C. that meets the provincial standard still needs to meet additional federal standards before it can be sold in Alberta or Ontario. This new law means the B.C. standard would replace the federal one.

it's a lowering of standards, a race to the bottom.

i strongly oppose the blanket removal of all internal canadian trade barriers all at once, without study or justification. these items should be analyzed on a case-by-case basis, and it should require decades of study to determine the ideal approach, which may entail removing some barriers while maintaining others.

removing a 150 year old tariff should require some reasoning, 

as it is, mark carney has taken the musk/trump approach of just breaking it without bothering to understand it, and the result is that there will be winners and losers from the legislation. some companies may benefit from increased market access, whereas others will suffer. 

there will be significant layoffs and substantive job losses, mostly in the smaller provinces and more rural areas. this is going to severely hurt a lot of people, who didn't have the chance to adjust.

i could accept the premise of a maximum summer temperature in principle, but not as low as 27. on a day where it's 27 and cloudy, i would often need to put on pants, or a long-sleeved shirt. 27 is moderate to cool, it's not warm. 

further, such legislation is inherently misogynist, as it directs temperature regulations towards cooler temperatures preferred by men, and even by heavyset or obese men.

in order for a maximum temperature enshrined in legislation and enforced by law to be inclusive of women and healthy people, it should be something closer to 40 degrees. a legislated maximum temperature should be 35 degrees celsius, minimum.

i hate air conditioning and will not have it imposed on me.

they'd better make sure a window a/c put in my unit is installed extra securely, because they might find that it has a tendency to just fall out of the window and on to the ground outside over and over again, repeatedly smashing into pieces.

i would violently oppose a bill forcing me to endure temperatures less than 27 degrees celsius in july and august, when i like the temperature to be 30 degrees, minimum, at all times.

i'd end up turning the stove on all summer.

i like my scorching hot apartment and am annoyed by my neghbour's air conditioner, which i absolutely hate.

i have a fan blowing hot air into the apartment to counteract the a/c downstairs and stop it from making me cold in the summer.

why doesn't the government focus the money on addressing obesity and reducing smoking, instead?

https://www.ctvnews.ca/toronto/politics/toronto-city-hall/article/were-not-letting-it-go-advocates-say-government-needs-to-do-more-to-ensure-people-arent-living-in-scorching-hot-apartments/

i don't have any particular attachment to the digital services tax, but i do support the broader premise of taxing income/profits as preferable to taxing consumption, and i'm extremely put off by canada's decision to cave to that kind of tactic. you don't negotiate with a carnivorous animal, and it's stupid and naive to think you can. carney has continuously broadcast the flawed premise that the americans are a rational actor. they aren't.

all we've done is tell trump that he can push us around and get what he wants. he'll do it again, because it worked.

we should have, instead, told them that we will not return to negotiations until they lift duties on softwood lumber.

what is a vulgar marxist?

this is an imprecise term i've seen used in multiple ways over a long period of time, so i should clarify what i mean. i use the term to refer to a capitalist that sees marx as providing deep insight into the operation of capitalism, and marxism as a system that can subsequently help a savvy capitalist to achieve their aims, if it is understood properly and deployed effectively. a vulgar marxist would use 1984, or the shock doctrine, as a user manual to establish deeper levels of capitalist control. the idea is that a vulgar marxist does not want to argue against marx, but to use marx' insights to strengthen capitalist domination.

fdr is often cited as the paramount vulgar marxist, in this context. in canada, pierre trudeau is often interpreted as a vulgar marxist.

my normal pasta recipe would be as follows:

- weigh 110 g of dry pasta, preferably fettucine

- cook to al dente in a covered pot.

- slice and chop up 100 g of salami into small squares (i use spicy genoa or hungarian)

- fry in olive oil (or olive oil margarine) until a little crispy

- chop 150 g of fresh pineapple into small squares

- on a large flat plate add - one half a tomato (diced), one half a red pepper (diced), one avocado (diced), two cloves of garlic, one carrot, one beet, one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil, some fresh dill (chopped)

- add pasta on top of vegetables

- add 1 tbsp of olive oil margarine

- add pineapple

- add salami

- add 1 tbsp cumin, 1 tbsp nutritional yeast, 1 tbsp paprika, 1 tbsp hemp seeds, 1 tbsp sunflower seeds (or just chomp the last one)

- add a lot of ceasar dressing (this is the pasta sauce)

- add 100 g of grated marble cheese

- microwave for 1:45

- add frank's, pepper, cayenne

- serve with tall glass of 25% grapefruit, 75% orange huice

========

i don't have a lot of those ingredients on hand, but i'm going to make some kraft dinner tonight as a stop gap just to fill me up until tomorrow, because the oranges and bread weren't really a meal. this is not intended to be a pasta meal but rather to use up what's in my fridge as a continuation of the sunday meal's fridge-clearing process. it's going to use the kd as a base in a large bowl and will be prepared as follows:

- the kd pasta cooks for 7 minutes, according to the box. my water wasn't hot enough, so it went for 12. [food bank item]

- chop two slim jims, and fry in margarine while waiting [food bank item]

- dump a can of chick peas in a large bowl [food bank item]

- add a can of pineapple tidbits [food bank item]

- add 2 cloves of chopped garlic

- add pasta

- add slim jims

- add margarine

- add "cheese" mix

- add 100 g of grated marble cheese

- mix

- add one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil, some fresh dill (chopped)

- add 1 tbsp of cumin, 1 tbsp of paprika, 1 tbsp of hemp seeds, 1 tbsp of nutritional yeast, 1 tbp of sunflower seeds

- add frank's

- add ceasar

i microwaved it to warm it up.

it's an acceptable stop-gap, but not the pasta i'll be eating this week.

i got out of the shower yesterday evening to get something to eat, which was supposed to be temporary; i was supposed to get back in shortly. instead, my sunday meal dragged out a little longer than expected, as i stopped a few times and got distracted. i passed out briefly around 1:00 am, woke up and made some coffee and meant to setup my old five discer in the bedroom, but that took longer than expected; i did some writing, and then fell asleep around 7:00 instead of getting back in the shower in the morning. this turned out to be a long sleep - all the way until about 17:00 pm. i think i needed the rest, and it actually let my hair get it's shape back a little; after washing it all day yesterday, it had developed a weird flatness that looked awful, which was due to the tangled sections under the visible sections getting cleaned, which has been the problem for the last few weeks. this is partly due to growing out of the awkward phase of regrowing; what i'm describing is my hair reestablishing layers, due to the breakage that's occurred over the last two years. i want pretty even and pretty straight hair, so this is pissing me off. it looks more like normal hair again today.

my sunday meal was what was left in the fridge, and i ate it in four steps - two oranges, and then six pieces of garlic bread, in three waves. this is not a meal, exactly, but it almost entirely clears out my fridge, which is the last thing in the kitchen left to clean. all that's left in there is a bit of marble cheese, some drips of ceasar dressing, a bulb of garlic, a handful of dill and some various soup broth, including beef broth and chicken broth. i still have a lot of canned food and a lot of pasta left, so i'm going to make some kraft dinner tonight to really clear out the fridge (except the broth, which i will need to find ways to eat this month, as i did in may and june), clean it out, spend the night in the shower, try to get some laundry done in the morning and then try to get out around noon. i have two pasta meals left in my first meal cycle (which is four plates), but the item i have the most of in my pantry is excess pasta of types i don't normally eat (like penne), so i expect to be eating pasta for most of the next several weeks. it is increasingly clear that i will need to have another month of adventures in food bank food, and maybe get back into schedule for august 1st. maybe. the kd tonight will contain everything left in the fridge except the broth plus spices and yeast for nutrition and be the end of my sunday meal.

the system i set up last night is a jvc xl fz-158 five disc changer through the yamaha cr-620 and into the celestion ditton 110s. i explained that my dad gave me the celestions with the nad for use with my pod (which didn't work as intended) and probably noted that the cr-620 was also a gift that he purchased at a garage sale in the distant past. he at one point had the cr-620 set up in his unfinished basement with a record player (which i also have) in one of the many houses he lived in, but it was rare for him to have an unfinished basement, and he ended up giving me the cr-620 for use with the celestions (i actually think that's where the celestions were initially being used) around 2008ish or so because he was told by my stepmother to get it out of the house because it was too old looking. my stepmother was very shallow, in that sense. anything that looked like it was vintage (furniture or electronics) could not be allowed anywhere where it could be seen; everything always had to look like it was recently purchased, brand new. she would not allow a record player in the house at all, apparently, as it was too old looking. it's the literal idea of keeping up with the joneses taken to extreme levels of psychosis. it was ok to have older gear in the unfinished basement, or hidden in my bedroom when i lived there, but as soon as they moved somewhere with a finished basement, he had to get rid of it, as he could not put a behemoth chrome stereo receiver from the 1970s in a finished basement, it just looked too old and out of place. these items were consequently transported to my apartment partly as a way for him to store them for future retrieval and use, as that's what he always did with vintage gear in the past, he hid it in my bedroom, which she stayed out of by mutual agreement. and, she would literally just turf stuff she didn't like the look of, she didn't care what it was worth or what it sounded like. my room was the only safe place in the house, so he no longer had a safe place to hide things once i left. i had the 620/celestion pairing initially set up in my bedroom on bronson in ottawa as a secondary system (with the newer panasonic 5 disc cd-changer, which is actually a dvd player, and which he gave me around the same time), and that three piece system transferred to the living room on marion, before being disassembled on curry because it was really a studio apartment and i didn't think it made sense to have two systems (i eventually set up both the kefs and the celestions together). i am back to having two distinct systems here again (four actually) and have reassembled the celestion/cr-620 pairing (after rejecting the nad for the celestions a second time) but have swapped the panasonic 5-disc for the jvc 5-disc because the panasonic has become the main cd/dvd player, partly because it's newer and partly because it's more functional and partly because the jvc developed some issues after retrieving it from storage in 2013.

i initially got the jvc as a birthday present in 1998 and it has followed me everywhere since. it's a relatively inexpensive player that doesn't read dvds or mp3 cds but does have some advanced programming features. when i got it out of storage in 2013, it had a noticeable dip in the metallic exterior, indicating something had probably been dropped on it. i have used it sparingly, since, but have generally had it placed in my bedroom near my bed and intended it to be used for listening to music through headphones while i'm reading in bed, as it has a separate headphone out and doesn't need to go through an amp. i realized some time around the year 2022 that the tray was jammed.

i did fix the tray issue some time last year, but have struggled to get the player to engage until this morning. i'm going to operate on the hypothesis that the lasers are slightly out of alignment but that they will realign themselves with use. therefore, the more i use the device, the better it will work.

it was able to play songs from the big chair this morning without skips or crashes. great.

this will allow me to listen to a broader subsection of my cd collection, and not just the aor stuff that the nad can drive through the yamahas without clipping below 50 hz, and specifically while i'm getting to work on catching up on email in my bedroom.

that's right. while trump's position on income taxes is very old-timey conservative, his position on undeclared wars is not.

because trump is about class, not ideology. it's been right in front of us the whole time and we've missed it. you will not understand trump with a bourgeois political analysis, you need to bring in marx. in a sense, he's the most vulgar marxist the capitalist world has ever seen, even more so than the vulgar marxism of roosevelt in the 30s.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2025/06/trump-military-iran-nuclear/683348/

the corruption charges that netanyahu faces in israel are legitimate, and the israeli state has a functioning independent judiciary. trump should certainly not be issuing ultimatums to israeli courts.

this is very different than the charges israel faces in the hague, which have no real jurisdiction, and which are clearly without evidentiary basis. however, israel should defeat these charges, not boycott the court.

trump appears to be confused. that is not uncharacteristic of trump, but his administration needs to get him to shut up on the issue of threatening the independence of the israeli judiciary, which nobody should tolerate.

transition fuels are so 90s.

too late for that, now.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/calgary/article/canadas-liquefied-natural-gas-touted-and-doubted-as-a-green-transition-fuel/

it's actually worth noting that the united states has not been involved in any of the myriad african conflicts of the last 20 years, opting instead to focus on building infrastructure in a limited geographic area in the southern part of the continent, and leaving the heavy fighting to proxies backed by financing from egypt, turkey, the uae, russia, france, the uk and china. the british funding in rwanda wa a scandal that the recent change of government has addressed. the biggest source of funding in congo for years has been the chinese.

for the americans to step into congo like this is a clear challenge to the chinese, but it's apparently being done differently. they're not backing an army by proxy. rather, they're selling the idea of stability as a way to increase american investment. war chases off investment. have we changed so much since the days of cecil rhodes and royal dutch shell?

probably not. but, the americans are at the least broadcasting an amount of distaste in engaging in coups and low level wars to physically hold mines and a desire to have free market access and open competition, instead. shit, it's like somebody finally took the kitchen debates seriously. trump as neo-nixon in a world where history moves backwards gains more traction every fucking day.

is this serious? it depends. it doesn't solve the fighting on the ground, in a literal sense; it doesn't address the religion, the ethnicity, the language or the piles of dirt they kill each other over. however, if the people funding this shit from a distance for financial gain are pulling out, it could slowly remove access to weapons and could lead to national armies chasing the rebel groups out of the mines, forests and rivers and holding it for bankers, instead. if the result is that the financial backers decide to stop funding war and start funding security, you could see a subsequent end to the religious and ethnic conflicts, and pretty quick.

the caveat is that if trump is really turning the clocks back, he'll be happy to bankroll a fascist dictatorship that will stop the warring at the expense of trampling over civil liberties, and you'll get a series of brutal dictatorships protecting the interests of capital by viciously attacking civil rights instead of generating instability and chaos, like we used to have in africa. that is what trump told us he wanted to do.

i think that a refocus on africa is overdue. after the universally panned iraq war, obama was supposed to have an asian pivot that never really happened and was supposed to refocus on africa, which he tried to do but largely failed to organize. trump 1.0 and biden both flailed, and musk's messaging suggested a foolish alignment with white farmers in south africa, which would really turn the clock back. this agreement in congo looks like a preferable shift in direction, on it's face.

i'm a little skeptical. the chinese might react by dumping millions into congolese rebel movements. however, i think this is the right direction for the west to take in africa and hope it continues. control over africa will be extremely important in the next 200 years - more so than control over the south pacific, and certainly more important than control over greenland. crucially, if the chinese get a lock on africa, they have a staging ground into the americas that can probably not be defeated. the americans need to meet them in africa to stop them. it's something the us has been broadcasting for 20 years, but hasn't been able to actually get done.

trump has the bbc on his side, now. this is like a zombie film. the whole town is a part of the cult. 

canada should interpret that very ominously, but should not be surprised. we were naive to expect otherwise.

i don't know why we didn't get on the phone with mexico, immediately.

i've been in the shower all day. my hair is fucking brutal. i'm stopping to eat and will likely be in there again all night.

it's something i noticed in the last apartment, and mostly cleared up in the hotel, but is now apparently back, at least temporarily: this kind of thin, gooey film in my hair. shampoo doesn't work. you have to sit in the shower for hours and condition it about twenty times before it starts to come out, and then it comes out like you're peeling gunk out of it. if you let it dry midwash, it's like you have hairspray or gel in your hair.

i would never put hairspray or gel in my hair, ever. yuck. gross.

i don't know what's causing this, but that's what i'm doing this weekend, is sitting in the shower and washing my hair. it might be second-hand marijuana smoke that's the culprit.

there has been some smoking downstairs, and i have made some complaints. that might be it.

who in canada would still shop at a bay like department store?

the answer is chinese women, and they make up a substantive demographic. white people would find something like this kind of stuffy and upper class, but the chinese like that.

she has a business case.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/ruby-liu-hudsons-bay-leases-1.7573682

trump has been clear enough that his shift towards tariffs is a shift away from taxing profit or income and towards taxing consumption. he likes this precisely because it incentivizes saving over spending, which is a typical conservative fiscal position, and one that most economists today think is recessionary and regressive. it's less that class-focused old timey conservatives like trump disagree, and more that they don't care. it's class war. it helps those with inherited wealth at the expense of those that need to work.

this is why he doesn't like the digital services tax in canada.

but, trump was not elected as president of canada. he has no mandate. he should back off.

this is also a last-chance salad soup, as i'm using up various things that are at their ends. i will need to get groceries in the next few days, after i deal with my hair, which is overdue.

so, i used up the last bit of olive oil margarine in a big sauce pan by melting it, then chopping up the rest of the kale stalks and frying them in the margarine on medium for three minutes, covered. the recipe calls for celery; i generally sub kale stalks for celery. i the added an entire bulb of chopped garlic and let it go another three minutes, covered.

then, i added the chopped broccoli stalks and a full box of vegetable broth [946 ml]. i let this come to a boil (covered). i then cooked it (covered) on reduced heat for fifteen minutes, and for another fifteen minutes on increased heat.

i did not blend anything, i just transferred it to a bowl and added

- 100 g of old cheddar

- 100 g of mozarella

(this uses up the cheese)

- chopped fresh dill

- nutritional yeast

- frank's

- pepper

- cayenne

- oregano

- cumin

- paprika

- hemp seeds

- ceasar

again, this is a big bowl of soup and i don't think i need toast, or an orange.

cooking the broccoli makes it edible, but it's broccoli. recall. the broth would benefit from a beef cube next time, i think.

i mentioned i've been in a holding pattern since monday. 

i did finish organizing the living room early on sunday and early on monday, and spent a large amount of time on these days exfoliating, culminating in a shower on monday. i meant to get out to get some groceries, but didn't; i had an rx delivered on tuesday. this had to do with the condition of my hair, which has had conditioner in it since monday evening.

it's been the same thing day over day on tuesday, wednesday, thursday and now friday - wake up in the afternoon, exfoliate in the evening, eat around midnight, clean all night and and then sleep in the morning, all while listening to cds in the kitchen. at this point, i've got everything organized into the space it should be in, i've got everything off the ground and i've got the floors and general space relatively clean. i've had some plumbers and drywall workers here as well and they're still not done, but almost. i still have a large amount of organizing to do and am going to need to do things like buy new tables for the kitchen, but that can wait. i am overdue on that shower, which i should take this morning. i need to do laundry, i need to get groceries and i need to catch up on email in here.

after having the leftover gravy as soup on sunday night, i ate up the rest of the beets, which i should have had in the previous leftover salad but missed the existence of. it was five beets in ceasar and frank's, with yeast and hemp. this gave me brutal beeturia. i then had my monday meal early on tuesday morning, which was the ceasar without subs, except white bread for brown bread. this happened again on wednesday morning, for my tuesday meal. i then doubled up on thursday morning by having wednesday and thursday together, which amounted to 10 medium sized eggs, four pieces of toast and four slices of bacon. see, i normally but extra large eggs, but the food bank gave me medium eggs, so i made five instead of four, over two meals together. it was a good meal.

my friday meal was a little different. one of the things remaining from the last food bank run was a frozen pack of white things that i wasn't sure about but thought might be noodles and a frozen pack of red sauce that said "pad thai". i had to google this. they were rice noodles, with a fish sauce - like the tamarind i used to make sweet and sour soup. what do i do with this? do i cook it? nuke it?

i decided to microwave it in one minute bursts and stir it until it was warm all the way through. again, i don't eat microwave dinners, but i know how it is. frozen in the middle. i was not letting that happen.

when it came out, it was a big meal - the entire bowl. i added cumin, paprika, hemp seed, cheddar cheese, oregano and nutritional yeast, plus a can of chick peas. this was done to add vitamins, minerals and protein, as i didn't feel like this giant pile of rice noodles was very substantive, and wasn't even sure it would fill me up. indeed, i was hungry before noon, which is unusual.

the noodles came out chewy and al dente and i decided that can't be right, but i googled it and it is actually how they're supposed to be. the sauce was pretty bland.

so, i have to admit i didn't enjoy the frozen (store bought?) pad thai and will probably leave it for somebody else next time. i'd be tempted to use the sauce for something else and just make baked spaghetti out of the noodles. it would be a weird spaghetti, but probably better.

if i start going to the food bank more frequently, i'll teach myself a bit more about these rice noodles and what to do with them.

tonight, i'm making that broccoli soup i've been talking about. recipe in next post.

so, this paralegal i filed a t2 against wants to give me unsolicited legal advice.

right.

there's a song for that.

that's actually next out of the box and on to the shelf. ironically.

i've been in a holding pattern the last few days, but it's done. i will be organizing and setting things up for months, but everything is up off the floor, the furniture is all in the room it's supposed to be in and the place is clean enough to live and exist in. it'll be one thing at a time until it's done.

i need to soak. badly.

and i need to catch up on email. quickly. that's going to be my weekend.

the intelligence said there was no weapons program in iran, but then that the weapons program wasn't dismantled by the strikes. i mean, this is 1984-level doublethink, here. if there wasn't a weapons program, how could it have been not dismantled? unless we be strictly logical, that is a way out; the program could not have been destroyed, because it never existed. qed.

the only thing to learn from the intelligence assessment is that the americans don't publish intelligence reports.

i used to go to hammtramck every other weekend. there were multiple venues, many of which have apparently evaporated or gone underground, although i haven't actually been there to investigate. alcohol, live music and gays were all prominent in these spaces, until 2020.

the blind spot in the american left - and i've written about this before - is that it interprets everything through race, because that's america. as a canadian, i can see that. we don't have that blind spot, here. so, an american leftist can not equate a muslim with a christian, because they're not seen as white. forget the fact that islam and christianity come from the same place in the world; muslims are the oppressed, and christians are the oppressors, due to the white supremacy of christianity and the brownness of muslims, which is the foundational and fundamental characteristic, not the basic reality that moderate islam is substantively more psychotic than the craziest christian right-wingers you'll find anywhere around here. that is how hammtramck happened; it was due to the racial blindspots on the american left. worse, it's exposing a sort of underbelly on the american left that's been apparent for a long time: if you are the religious right, and you want to infiltrate and co-opt the left, you do it with black or brown people. these activists won't see you as a religious right-winger, they'll see you as an oppressed minority.

in theory, i agree that i would like to see the muslim brotherhood's activities restricted in canada.

however, i cannot support a witchhunt or specious attacks on political grounds. i do not suppose it would be particularly difficult to find real examples of actual unlawfulness, and any attempts at prosecution should be based on factual law-breaking, not vague claim of anti-semitism.

where a group like this frightens me is in it's potential to organize and try to enforce islamic law on the general population, both arab and non-arab. they are not far from critical mass in specific isolated areas, and how they behave when they get there should be watched very carefully.

if you want to look up a nightmare scenario, look into a small city in michigan called hammtramck. this was once a polish enclave, but when muslims got to critical mass and took over city council, they banned live music and went after the gays. the residents of the area - one of the most liberal enclaves in detroit - were baffled, as it was the liberals and gays that fought for the muslims in the first place, ironically against conservative christians. their naivite and ignorance and inability to equate islam with the christian right bit them in the ass, and the best region of detroit has been temporarily destroyed.

there are areas of toronto where such a thing might potentially happen, if a city were taken over, which is admittedly less likely. hamtrammck really shouldn't exist at all. it's surrounded by metro detroit and should be folded into it. that might be how this is solved, in the end.

for now, it's a warning to take note of, and ask the leftists in the area. they've been hit the hardest and have the worst stories to tell.

i just need due process. i won't support a witch hunt, which will backfire.

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/muslim-brotherhood-and-qatar-have-established-extensive-network-across-canada-report

mark rutte has been a complete retard for decades. don't feign surprise.

in fact, she was lucky to survive.

i have long suspected that virtually every disappearance of young children is an animal attack.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/police-suspect-animal-attack-after-girl-seriously-injured-in-quadeville-ont-1.7570272

large amounts of muslim immigration concerns me because muslims will want to enforce their rules, and i strongly dislike their rules and don't want to live under them.

but, this is reality:

and it's suggesting we've overdone it and need to pull back before it's too late.

i agree that it's weird.

however, if it indicates some shift in the government to be less muslim or less asian and more european, which is something worth analyzing in terms of recent immigration trends and raw stats, i'll take it.

strictly statistically, canada has been on the path to becoming not very european at all and that was worrying and needed to be addressed. the hindus don't bug me so much, but i don't want to live in a majority muslim or majority black or brown country, and we're on the way there.

https://nationalpost.com/opinion/chris-selley-carneys-bizarre-fixation-with-calling-us-european-makes-no-sense

i actually like this weather.

here's a suggestion that might help, if you don't: wear less clothes.

ok.

so, it seems like the chinese flew the payloads out of iran before the strikes on the facilities.

it seems, then, that this was probably a deal between trump and xi to eliminate a problem neither wanted to exist, and the b2 run was mostly political theatre. i might guess that the chinese are taking on some inspection oversight, with iran identified as being in their sphere of interest, which gives the chinese responsibility to deal with the issue. it puts the movement of planes to guam in a different, perhaps defensive, context.

while the signals are that it's uneasy, any level of detente between the us and china should be welcomed, with caution. the americans have to fundamentally understand that china sees america as an empty continent, peopled by an inferior race, to colonize. the idea of peace, however uneasy, is naive. that's a war that will eventually happen, and it must. we should put it off as long as we can, though, even if it means shifting back to this older global order described recently by mersheimer.

this allows trump to tell netanyahu to knock it off, before he starts a war. i support regime change in iran because i'm a radical socialist, but trump has less reasons to actively agitate for such a thing and it's not entirely clear why he'd want it. 

if iran really wants to shut down the strait of hormuz, the americans should help them out by blockading it.

remember oil for food? they don't, apparently.

it is hot in here, no doubt. there was some wind today, but it knocked over my fan and broke it, which makes it that much worse tonight. i need to buy some new fans. the low tonight is apparently 25 degrees with 35 degree humidity. that's very warm for this climate. the high today was 35 degrees.

i slept very briefly last night after i had the soup, and then spent the night organizing the living room, which is the recording space. i am not actually setting anything up yet, i'm just organizing it in place so i can clean and can more effectively get the new couch in, when the idiot property managers replace it. the more i think about this, the more i'm convinced that it's just rank, abject dumb. i'll take the new couch one way or another, thanks.

the thrown out or stolen couch was my dad's couch. i think he bought it around 2005ish, because it smelled like one of my golden retrievers, who had died years previously. he himself died in 2013. i didn't ask for the couch, but my stepmother instantly discards of everything and anything, and is somewhat psychotic about it, often rebuying items she discarded of for no good reason. it was loaded onto the truck and transported to windsor. i've moved it three times, and now it's apparently thrown away. i still have the cushions....

but you can't just throw out my couch. that's ridiculous. you're going to buy me a new couch, the easy way or the hard way. as the couch was about 20 years old, i suppose i'm due for a new one. so, thanks?

i got most of the way done, stopped to make poutine early in the morning (6:00) and fell asleep again, this time until about 15:00. i spent the evening exfoliating again, made some more soup this evening, slept again and now need to get back to finishing organizing the space and cleaning the floor. the very hot, humid weather has got me sweating off piles of dead skin, which is what i wanted. and i'm due for a major shower. there's a list of things i need to do in the next few days that are long overdue.

so, let me get back to this - dishes, coffee, cleaning. i might have the entire space set back up by mid day.

i still don't know why trump assassinated frodo, though.

the harry potter guy better keep an eye out.

it is not surprising for the far right to stand with right-wing islamic extremism. that makes sense.

what doesn't make sense - and needs to stop - is fake leftists siding with the islamic right, which is at it's core a movement for arabic and islamic colonialism, in the ignorant and misguided perception that it's trotskyist. it's not.

when you look at yourself in the mirror, and you see marjorie taylor greene looking back, it's time for some soul searching, kids.

....and, then, marjorie taylor greene proves to everybody that she really is an anti-semitic dark age christian, and a member of the american taliban, by siding with the backwards crazies in the openly fascist islamic "republic" of iran.

put your niqab on, bitch.

no, really. please. you're a prime candidate, to hide the ugly. was your mom so into the dark ages that she had a thing for horses on top of it? you could actually marry your horse back then; just ask nero. america would be better off if this bitch put her niqab on and just went to some cold, dark alley to pray for peace for the next ten years. it's the same make-believe nonsense anyways, right?

the nad--->yamaha system cannot do subsonic frequencies. it distorts badly.

it has consequently had problems with recent peter gabriel records, which are apparently mixed for an audience of elephants (i haven't tried adrian belew yet...), and with a few of my own recordings, which i acknowledge were absurdly built via sample manipulation in cool edit. i took a short piece of music and pitch shifted it in the wave editor to fit specific pitch shifts, like a sampler. this utterly floored the bass frequencies and created a mess, which is intentional, but it means you need to be able to reproduce it or it just crackles and pops.

something like pelican's australasia sounds a little thin, but it does dance music (nin's the perfect drug single) fairly well. it excels at pearl jam, which makes sense - that is the type of music the nad does. ymmv.

i think it's the nad, mostly, and that these speakers have limitations but the nad is struggling nonetheless. i'll have to see how it handles something like "fall of civilizations" coming right from youtube via the chromebook, as there's a direct a/b. the cr-620 drove these speakers quite well. if the nad can't, it's the weak link.

well, they told us they were going to do this.

my understanding is that there were not serious nuclear programs in these facilities, which does open the question: what was down there?

whatever it was, the united states just spent a lot of money on a very sophisticated attack that amounts to a show of overwhelming force. it sends a message to everybody that the anericans still see themselves as the superpower, until further notice. 

the russians know what was down there. my guess is that, whatever they say, they're glad it's gone, too.

this poses minimal threat and minimal harm, as it is. the danger is somebody miscalculating in overreaction, but i think that is unlikely. 

so long as that's it, we'll have to keep wondering what they actually did, but that should be the end of it. i'm more concerned about opposition forces on the ground.

i would have voted against both halves.

but note that what was developed in the new house is a "grand coalition". these are rare in canada, and almost always work the other way around. for example, stephane dion propped up stepphen harper - and got hammered for it.

you might have to go back to the 1960s and lester pearson to find another example of the conservatives voting to pass liberal legislation in a minority parliament.

this is not because the conservatives have decided to be reasonable, it's because the liberals swung hard to the right under carney.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/article/liberals-conservatives-pass-major-projects-legislation-in-house-of-commons/

i needed to get the gravy off the stove before it started to grow mold, so i made some more onion soup like soup and a general "needs to be eaten up" mega meal, which i used to do more frequently but has become rare since i've moved to the meal plan.

- remaining beef broth

- three strips of bacon

- old cheddar

- mozarella

- white bread crust

- dill

- hemp seed

- frank's

- pepper

- nutritional yeast

- caesar

with two slices of white toast (i never buy and rarely eat white bread) and a last chance salad composed of the last yellow pepper, an avocado, broccoli florrets, the last carrot, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, oregano, frank's, ceasar.

that eats up a few things. 

i'll probably finish the potatoes in the morning.

as for the last few days, it hasn't been as productive as i'd like. i've simply had to waste hours and hours exfoliating, and rehydrating, as i am utterly dehydrated. there's been some drama here that i don't feel like narrating, as it's not what i want this blog to be about. it will come up in time.

i woke up on monday morning before noon with the intent of doing a quick clean of myself and getting to the food bank first, then to pick up an rx and then to get some groceries, but i instead spent all day in the bathroom scraping dead skin off my face, before getting out to the rx at the last minute and pick up some groceries on the way back. i noted my couch was still there when i came in on monday, and hoped to get it in the next day. i made my potatoes when i got in, and fell asleep relatively early. this made sense because i only got an hour or so of sleep on monday morning.

i then spent essentially all day on tuesday in the bathroom exfoliating. i am actually making progress, but this is thick and stubborn. the weeks of hauling items across walkerville in a shopping cart left me utterly dehydrated and somewhat filthy. i have to moisturize it up, sweat it out and scrape it off, which is even grosser, but that's reality. when i get the skin cleared up, i'll need to focus on rehdryating my hair, and then bleaching it when it's rehydrated. i'm a little over due (my yearly bleach job is usually in may. it should get done before july.). i got essentially nothing else done, and didn't get the couch in.

i was woken up on wednesday morning by somebody sent to look for bed bugs in my apartment (they didn't find any). i spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning and exfoliating yet again. still didn't get the couch in.

on thursday morning, i was expecting a plumber. i heard some rumbling in the hall around 10:00, so i went out to check and found an electrician. i also noticed my couch was gone. i was able to determine by the end of the afternoon that the couch had been removed by property management because "they weren't sure who it belonged to".

i sent them an email on june 5th telling them it was my couch and i couldn't get it under the door. they also told me in an email on may 12th that they were ok with me leaving items (like bicycles) in the common area. the only other person on the floor knew it was my couch, because i told him. i'm consequently left to conclude this was retaliation, and i had to file a lawsuit.

i again spent all day friday and all day saturday exfoliating, and am making progress clearing up the filth and dead skin. i have restarted the np list, in the process:

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/p/np-list.html

i have made no progress in organizing the apartment because i'm prioritizing exfoliating and rehydrating my skin and hair, first. i am going to need to prioritize catching up on email, as well, but rehydration is the primary concern at the moment.