the great irony that will be recorded in history, as the ndp goes the way of social credit, is that they missed a perfect chance to seize the country's vanguard when they ran naomi klein out of the country, in a foolish drive towards the mushy middle.
if they had listened to naomi, right?
but they didn't - until it was too late.
and, that will be the writing on their gravestone:
here lies the ndp,
who told naomi klein to fuck off,
and were subsequently reduced to irrelevance
Monday, September 14, 2020
what we're seeing, and it's not a coincidence that this is happening along with an increase in deindustrialization and a shift towards mechanization, is not merely a replacement or expansion of the left but a fundamental shift in what it means to be on the left.
since the last gilded age, and the rise of marxism after the failure of the french revolution, the left has been about adjusting to socialization in production. what it means to be left-wing is to push for some concept of equalization in society, be it via equality of opportunity or equality of outcome. but, nowadays, neither of these ideas is even controversial, anymore; the right has ceded the point, out of common sense, if not out of activism in their own ranks. why shouldn't we be vaguely equal, at least? these minor debates about policy are pretty inconsequential, in the face of virtually everybody agreeing with the basic premise of equality. it's the most inoffensive, status quo position in the world.
what's developing as a new left is the idea that equality is not only not enough but not even a proper starting point. rather, we need to radically alter the entire conception of capitalism, from the bottom up, if we wish to truly alter the course of history. we need cleaner sources of energy. we need to change how we eat. we need to change the fundamental relationship of what work is, not merely who the boss is, or how much people get paid. and, we need to do so in a way that benefits everybody, including non-human species, and not just an elite at the top.
the ndp has never really been a workers' party, and they've never really had a base east of ottawa. they made some inroads with seasonal workers in the last generation, but they never did well in farming communities, and the region never had an industrial base. so, there was never really room for them in the east, anyways.
but, there's not really any room for a party of this sort in the new spectrum, at all.
to the extent that we need a workers' party, that party needs to increasingly be focused on distributing the fruits of mechanized labour, which are no longer reliant on human input variables. and, it is truly only the greens that are positioned to do that - at least until they scare the liberals into taking them seriously.
this election probably won't scare the liberals into action. but, it could very well be a microcosm of canada's future - if not in two years, perhaps in six.
since the last gilded age, and the rise of marxism after the failure of the french revolution, the left has been about adjusting to socialization in production. what it means to be left-wing is to push for some concept of equalization in society, be it via equality of opportunity or equality of outcome. but, nowadays, neither of these ideas is even controversial, anymore; the right has ceded the point, out of common sense, if not out of activism in their own ranks. why shouldn't we be vaguely equal, at least? these minor debates about policy are pretty inconsequential, in the face of virtually everybody agreeing with the basic premise of equality. it's the most inoffensive, status quo position in the world.
what's developing as a new left is the idea that equality is not only not enough but not even a proper starting point. rather, we need to radically alter the entire conception of capitalism, from the bottom up, if we wish to truly alter the course of history. we need cleaner sources of energy. we need to change how we eat. we need to change the fundamental relationship of what work is, not merely who the boss is, or how much people get paid. and, we need to do so in a way that benefits everybody, including non-human species, and not just an elite at the top.
the ndp has never really been a workers' party, and they've never really had a base east of ottawa. they made some inroads with seasonal workers in the last generation, but they never did well in farming communities, and the region never had an industrial base. so, there was never really room for them in the east, anyways.
but, there's not really any room for a party of this sort in the new spectrum, at all.
to the extent that we need a workers' party, that party needs to increasingly be focused on distributing the fruits of mechanized labour, which are no longer reliant on human input variables. and, it is truly only the greens that are positioned to do that - at least until they scare the liberals into taking them seriously.
this election probably won't scare the liberals into action. but, it could very well be a microcosm of canada's future - if not in two years, perhaps in six.
at
22:22
if it comes down to it, it makes far more sense for the ndp to merge with the liberals than it does for them to merge with the greens.
they just don't have the proper focus on environmental concerns - like the liberals, their interest is primarily in industrial policy. they want jobs and wages, which means they want capital investment and dirty projects. you will, at most, get lip service from them.
the greens should be pushing back against the ndp, for that reason - they're just going to pollute the movement with bad ideas.
we need to start fresh and come to terms with the truth, which is that the ndp & liberals are both in a grand coalition with the conservatives to destroy the planet.
they just don't have the proper focus on environmental concerns - like the liberals, their interest is primarily in industrial policy. they want jobs and wages, which means they want capital investment and dirty projects. you will, at most, get lip service from them.
the greens should be pushing back against the ndp, for that reason - they're just going to pollute the movement with bad ideas.
we need to start fresh and come to terms with the truth, which is that the ndp & liberals are both in a grand coalition with the conservatives to destroy the planet.
at
21:46
what happened?
the ndp tried to be the liberals, and it killed them, from both sides. what's the point?
the ndp tried to be the liberals, and it killed them, from both sides. what's the point?
at
21:34
this isn't that surprising, but one may note at this point that the ndp has been all but wiped out of the province.
i've been saying for years that canada is most stable in a four-party system configuration, and the rise of a party to the right of the conservatives is consequently really not a strange thing to see - we've usually had one. but, at least in the east, it seems like the greens are the new left.
one wonders if that pattern asserts itself elsewhere.
and it very well might.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/new-brunswick-election-day-results-2020-1.5722438
i've been saying for years that canada is most stable in a four-party system configuration, and the rise of a party to the right of the conservatives is consequently really not a strange thing to see - we've usually had one. but, at least in the east, it seems like the greens are the new left.
one wonders if that pattern asserts itself elsewhere.
and it very well might.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/new-brunswick-election-day-results-2020-1.5722438
at
21:31
it seems like it's another day and it's another flaky attempt by biden to change the topic that's fallen flat on it's face.
and, why is that?
because he's a self-interested career politician. and, you can ask him, and he won't even sugar coat it.
"why are you running for office, joe?"
and he'll tell you it's a legacy project, the end of his career. it's about him.
so, he stumbles from one poorly presented, haphazardly (half-assedly, even) thrown together policy proposal to another, without stopping long enough to get jeered for it, because he doesn't have any deep reason for running, any raison d'etre to win.
strategy is useful, and i can help.
but, at the end of the day, you have to actually have a reason to run - some goal, some dream, some purpose.
the only dream that biden seems to have is to have the title printed on his tombstone. and, if he keeps running around like this, at the top of a pandemic, instead of staying at home with his grandkids where he belongs, he's going to get the tombstone without the title.
he's making this very difficult on everybody - and it's just getting harder, by the day.
and, why is that?
because he's a self-interested career politician. and, you can ask him, and he won't even sugar coat it.
"why are you running for office, joe?"
and he'll tell you it's a legacy project, the end of his career. it's about him.
so, he stumbles from one poorly presented, haphazardly (half-assedly, even) thrown together policy proposal to another, without stopping long enough to get jeered for it, because he doesn't have any deep reason for running, any raison d'etre to win.
strategy is useful, and i can help.
but, at the end of the day, you have to actually have a reason to run - some goal, some dream, some purpose.
the only dream that biden seems to have is to have the title printed on his tombstone. and, if he keeps running around like this, at the top of a pandemic, instead of staying at home with his grandkids where he belongs, he's going to get the tombstone without the title.
he's making this very difficult on everybody - and it's just getting harder, by the day.
at
21:05
update: of the six doctors i've tried to contact in windsor about the voluntary orchiectomy, i currently have one firm no, one attempt to reach out, one unclear response and three non-responses.
at
16:27
will cycle 25 be weak or strong?
we don't know the answer to this question, and suggestions that we do should be taken lightly.
but, people arguing that the next cycle should be the same as the last one, or weaker, due to a recent trend downwards are really making a particularly bad argument. given how poorly we understand how the sun works, we should be treating these cycles as independent. that means that it's really a coin flip, probabilistically, and trying to measure this using a regression analysis is fool-hardy.
and, given that perspective, it's actually the opposite argument that should be more compelling - because we've seen decreasing strength for a while, we're increasingly due for it to flip.
that doesn't mean that this particular cycle has a greater than 50% chance; these events are independent. this is a basic paradox that goes back to pascal. the correct answer is 50% every time, but it tends towards a mean...
so, i have to tell you it's 50/50.
but, my hunch is we're in for a ramp up, like we saw last in the late 90s. so, i have a confirmation bias towards this.
but, you'll get as many answers as you can find "experts"; we don't know, and while one guess may work out better than another in the end, that's all they are right now - guesses.
https://arxiv.org/pdf/2006.15263.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0QD9q-bHwcQVOH0dJOnGa6tw5lPYmPhtCy1u4JMFzEi3fUh4w0EGID6Yk
we don't know the answer to this question, and suggestions that we do should be taken lightly.
but, people arguing that the next cycle should be the same as the last one, or weaker, due to a recent trend downwards are really making a particularly bad argument. given how poorly we understand how the sun works, we should be treating these cycles as independent. that means that it's really a coin flip, probabilistically, and trying to measure this using a regression analysis is fool-hardy.
and, given that perspective, it's actually the opposite argument that should be more compelling - because we've seen decreasing strength for a while, we're increasingly due for it to flip.
that doesn't mean that this particular cycle has a greater than 50% chance; these events are independent. this is a basic paradox that goes back to pascal. the correct answer is 50% every time, but it tends towards a mean...
so, i have to tell you it's 50/50.
but, my hunch is we're in for a ramp up, like we saw last in the late 90s. so, i have a confirmation bias towards this.
but, you'll get as many answers as you can find "experts"; we don't know, and while one guess may work out better than another in the end, that's all they are right now - guesses.
https://arxiv.org/pdf/2006.15263.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0QD9q-bHwcQVOH0dJOnGa6tw5lPYmPhtCy1u4JMFzEi3fUh4w0EGID6Yk
at
16:00
what's my fall temperature forecast?
it's a la nina, and that may make some difference, sometimes. but, the sun is now moving in tandem with the warmer climate for the next 7-10 years, so i would expect sea surface temperatures in the atlantic, rather than the pacific, to be the dominant force in the eastern part of north america. i see little reason to think that temperatures in the atlantic won't stay warm over that period.
we may see a bit of a lag for the next few years before the new reality sets in with force.
but, i would expect a mild fall, followed by a relatively mild winter.
it's a la nina, and that may make some difference, sometimes. but, the sun is now moving in tandem with the warmer climate for the next 7-10 years, so i would expect sea surface temperatures in the atlantic, rather than the pacific, to be the dominant force in the eastern part of north america. i see little reason to think that temperatures in the atlantic won't stay warm over that period.
we may see a bit of a lag for the next few years before the new reality sets in with force.
but, i would expect a mild fall, followed by a relatively mild winter.
at
15:46
sarah has, like no poker face.
it's what she says that matters - i'll be the first to tell you that. even if it's not what she feels, even if she's failing to hide something....she has the right to make that choice. she has the right to suppress her feelings, and it's her prerogative to be distracting, if it's what she wants, too. obviously. and, it's sad that i have to say that, explicitly.
but, it was about as obvious as could be that she was always excited and happy to see me, when i did bump into her.
one of the last times i bumped into her, she literally started skipping. like a little girl. and, so i asked her the question with the obvious answer: is this weird? is she uncomfortable? and she said yes, and i left.
i wonder if she regrets telling me that, but i had an obligation to listen, and i knew it.
but, she wasn't mad at me, she didn't hate me...she was trying to coerce me into detransitioning, or something...
i was sure she'd get over it, and i gave her years to do it, through a series of careful checks and balances.
i guess i was wrong.
it's what she says that matters - i'll be the first to tell you that. even if it's not what she feels, even if she's failing to hide something....she has the right to make that choice. she has the right to suppress her feelings, and it's her prerogative to be distracting, if it's what she wants, too. obviously. and, it's sad that i have to say that, explicitly.
but, it was about as obvious as could be that she was always excited and happy to see me, when i did bump into her.
one of the last times i bumped into her, she literally started skipping. like a little girl. and, so i asked her the question with the obvious answer: is this weird? is she uncomfortable? and she said yes, and i left.
i wonder if she regrets telling me that, but i had an obligation to listen, and i knew it.
but, she wasn't mad at me, she didn't hate me...she was trying to coerce me into detransitioning, or something...
i was sure she'd get over it, and i gave her years to do it, through a series of careful checks and balances.
i guess i was wrong.
at
15:16
they're going after hadju...
what i'm going to say is this: she seems to have been chosen for the role as a spokesperson, which was fine last year, when that was about what you needed for a health minister.
but, frankly, i would have replaced her with somebody more qualified eons ego.
and, anybody arguing that the country needs a non-politician health minister at this point is, indeed, correct.
the liberals have a deep caucus, and i know for a fact that there's a few doctors in there. but, what they really need in this role right now is a statistician, not a doctor - and definitely not a social worker, or a career politician.
and, ms. hadju should really offer minimal resistance; if she's smart, she knows that.
what i'm going to say is this: she seems to have been chosen for the role as a spokesperson, which was fine last year, when that was about what you needed for a health minister.
but, frankly, i would have replaced her with somebody more qualified eons ego.
and, anybody arguing that the country needs a non-politician health minister at this point is, indeed, correct.
the liberals have a deep caucus, and i know for a fact that there's a few doctors in there. but, what they really need in this role right now is a statistician, not a doctor - and definitely not a social worker, or a career politician.
and, ms. hadju should really offer minimal resistance; if she's smart, she knows that.
at
14:37
ugh.
nobody wants our poisonous oil, anymore.
it's just utter stupidity. straight up.
https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/o-toole-says-energy-east-off-the-table-after-talking-pipelines-with-legault-1.5104152
nobody wants our poisonous oil, anymore.
it's just utter stupidity. straight up.
https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/o-toole-says-energy-east-off-the-table-after-talking-pipelines-with-legault-1.5104152
at
14:31
you have to wonder if this is the work of some group of maskophile vigilantes, upset at people gathering in freedom and happiness, and having fun.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/new-westminster-firefighters-scramble-to-put-out-pier-blaze-1.5722770
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/new-westminster-firefighters-scramble-to-put-out-pier-blaze-1.5722770
at
14:10
it's right on schedule, in my estimation - because i'm basing my analysis on the idea that canada is just a few months behind the united states in terms of the spread of the virus, and not on the idea that the various measures taken were more effective.
and, that's actually weakly testable. it's not a silver bullet, and not a clear deduction.
however.
bogoch is right when he says that if the lower numbers over the summer months were due to the actions of government then he wouldn't expect higher numbers until later in the year, which presents some reason to think maybe the lower numbers over the summer months were due to something else, like a smaller number of initial cases requiring more time to circulate.
and, what we're seeing is at least consistent with the the idea that my mathematical analysis was more useful than his analysis, as a doctor, was. which isn't and shouldn't be surprising - this is a math problem, not a medical diagnosis.
so, what do you do?
if you weren't able to stop it in the first place, there's little reason to think you'll be able to stop it, now. and, i'm going to be just viciously blunt: bringing in draconian measures, at this stage, will not stop the spread of the virus.
you need to understand your own risk factors, as an individual, and take the proper steps to protect yourself. that's what needs to be done.
the world won't save you.
and, the state sure won't...
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/covid-19-ontario-case-numbers-rising-legislature-returns-1.5720931
and, that's actually weakly testable. it's not a silver bullet, and not a clear deduction.
however.
bogoch is right when he says that if the lower numbers over the summer months were due to the actions of government then he wouldn't expect higher numbers until later in the year, which presents some reason to think maybe the lower numbers over the summer months were due to something else, like a smaller number of initial cases requiring more time to circulate.
and, what we're seeing is at least consistent with the the idea that my mathematical analysis was more useful than his analysis, as a doctor, was. which isn't and shouldn't be surprising - this is a math problem, not a medical diagnosis.
so, what do you do?
if you weren't able to stop it in the first place, there's little reason to think you'll be able to stop it, now. and, i'm going to be just viciously blunt: bringing in draconian measures, at this stage, will not stop the spread of the virus.
you need to understand your own risk factors, as an individual, and take the proper steps to protect yourself. that's what needs to be done.
the world won't save you.
and, the state sure won't...
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/covid-19-ontario-case-numbers-rising-legislature-returns-1.5720931
at
14:07
i bumped into her a few times after the cut-off point, and she really wasn't angry with me. if anything, she was strangely flirty, in ways i hadn't seen from her in years.
like, when she called me around 2007/2008, it was just going for lunch with an old friend, which is what i wanted to maintain for, like, ever. there was legit comfort there. we trusted each other.
but, when i bumped into her in 2011 or 2012, she was all fidgety and weird, like a teenager trying to hide a secret crush - which weirded me out, 'cause i wasn't expecting it. like, at all.
like, i thought maybe it might ease her into it if we went shopping, and she had a fit.
and, it kind of clicked, that a part of the problem was that she feared she might be triggered by the effects of the hormones into something deeper, even as she was ultimately just waiting it out, under the assumption i'd fall back off them again.
...which i didn't, and which i don't want to.
i still think she'd return my calls, even now, if i dropped the t-blockers, at least. 'cause, i'm ultimately not of any use to her, if i can't get hard....
like, when she called me around 2007/2008, it was just going for lunch with an old friend, which is what i wanted to maintain for, like, ever. there was legit comfort there. we trusted each other.
but, when i bumped into her in 2011 or 2012, she was all fidgety and weird, like a teenager trying to hide a secret crush - which weirded me out, 'cause i wasn't expecting it. like, at all.
like, i thought maybe it might ease her into it if we went shopping, and she had a fit.
and, it kind of clicked, that a part of the problem was that she feared she might be triggered by the effects of the hormones into something deeper, even as she was ultimately just waiting it out, under the assumption i'd fall back off them again.
...which i didn't, and which i don't want to.
i still think she'd return my calls, even now, if i dropped the t-blockers, at least. 'cause, i'm ultimately not of any use to her, if i can't get hard....
at
03:22
i have every reason to believe, still, that what sarah legitimately wanted was an open relationship with me. she wanted to go out and do whatever she wanted and then she wanted the person that was at home waiting for her to very specifically be me.
but, i mean...
is that fair?
i didn't want to walk out on her.
and, she didn't want me to walk out.
but, she refused to budge on it. and, i just couldn't deal with it.
again: i worried she might get pregnant, or aids or something. and, she did get pregnant....and insisted on having it...
i didn't really want to, but i had to get out.
and, i know i made the right choice, even if i still wish she'd return my calls, and it still tears me up that she won't.
but, i mean...
is that fair?
i didn't want to walk out on her.
and, she didn't want me to walk out.
but, she refused to budge on it. and, i just couldn't deal with it.
again: i worried she might get pregnant, or aids or something. and, she did get pregnant....and insisted on having it...
i didn't really want to, but i had to get out.
and, i know i made the right choice, even if i still wish she'd return my calls, and it still tears me up that she won't.
at
02:58
i spent the time i knew sarah trying to get her to cash in her basketball scholarship and go to university.
she didn't seem interested.
she didn't seem interested.
at
02:27
and, again - what happened with sarah is that i dumped her because she refused to commit to a monogamous relationship. there was some mutuality around the issue, but, at the end of the day, i'm the one that did the walking, and she's the one that did the begging.
we got a place together in mid 2004. i was a student; she was...she said she was a waitress, but she tended to have a lot of extra cash, and the diner she worked at had a strip club downstairs. it's not like i would have judged her for that - i would have recognized her autonomy, and her rights to make her own decisions - but she would have been embarrassed about telling me. so, i never brought it up. but, i knew, and she knew i knew. and, at the end of the day, i'm certain that it was at the crux of the actual problem.
we borrowed money from each other over the years we knew each other; i initially had some extra cash saved away and lent it to her to help her save money to go to bc (and then ended up going with her), and she fronted me a little money while i was doing odd jobs over the summer, before the student loan came in over september. it balanced out, in the end. really. i gave her a chunk of cash in september, and she used it to buy a bicycle.
so, she came to me one day and said "i want an open relationship, now". in truth, she'd been sleeping with several other people over the time we were dating, including some people i introduced her to, while i was absolutely monogamous. and, i told her "no, i can't deal with that". but, what i couldn't deal with was her disappearing on random weekends, and spending all of that time alone.
what she wanted was a roommate with benefits, and my skin was far too thin to deal with that.
so, i gave the landlord three months, unilaterally dissolved the lease and told her i was moving out.
she initially refused to accept this, because she thought i'd never leave her - she took me for granted. but, i was fed up. i wanted to stay friends, but i couldn't live with her any more, not with her lifestyle choices. like, she didn't like to use condoms - which is why she accidentally got impregnated a few months later. oops.
i kept telling her "sarah, i'm moving on feb 1st. what are you doing?" and she refused to believe i was moving until the truck showed up. she just kept saying "you're not really moving, you wouldn't do that.".
and, yet i did do that.
and, predictably, she showed up at my apartment door in mid-february, looking to move in. i actually had no choice but to decline, as my co-signer (my dad) made it a condition to refuse her entry. she stayed a few nights in my new place, and managed to seduce me in the communal sauna in front of some elderly tenants who gave me smirks for months, but she ended up in a rooming house, in the end.
so, what does that suggest?
she was bluffing.
but, i was fed up...
we were still having sex for years afterwards, too; she didn't cut me off until i went back on hormones, which is when she finally gave up.
so, there was the time i bought her fajitas and talked her into eating protein, when she was pregnant. there was the time when she asked me to bring her flour, and i brought her flowers (which she kept on her kitchen table for years, to the enragement of her boyfriend). there was the time we went for a walk through the tulip festival, and the time she brought me to the family lunch at the clocktower on her birthday, to the stern consternation of her father, who thought they'd gotten rid of me years ago. and many other times...
like, we strung each other along for years.
i don't know what stories are floating around out there, but when your ex calls you for lunch four or five years after you've broken up, she's still feeling something, there.
i couldn't handle the kids - and she had two of them, last i checked in, neither of which are mine, as far as i can tell (although the first was named after me, and she also asked me to be her godfather, which i declined). i just did not want kids, and had the decency to be crystal clear that making the decision to have and raise kids meant she would need to find a partner willing to do it with her. everything else aside, it was a non-starter, end of story, game over. and, you can call me names, but i think i have self-determination here, and she never really seemed to be angry with me about it...
....until i went back on hormones.
that was her red line. clearly.
we got a place together in mid 2004. i was a student; she was...she said she was a waitress, but she tended to have a lot of extra cash, and the diner she worked at had a strip club downstairs. it's not like i would have judged her for that - i would have recognized her autonomy, and her rights to make her own decisions - but she would have been embarrassed about telling me. so, i never brought it up. but, i knew, and she knew i knew. and, at the end of the day, i'm certain that it was at the crux of the actual problem.
we borrowed money from each other over the years we knew each other; i initially had some extra cash saved away and lent it to her to help her save money to go to bc (and then ended up going with her), and she fronted me a little money while i was doing odd jobs over the summer, before the student loan came in over september. it balanced out, in the end. really. i gave her a chunk of cash in september, and she used it to buy a bicycle.
so, she came to me one day and said "i want an open relationship, now". in truth, she'd been sleeping with several other people over the time we were dating, including some people i introduced her to, while i was absolutely monogamous. and, i told her "no, i can't deal with that". but, what i couldn't deal with was her disappearing on random weekends, and spending all of that time alone.
what she wanted was a roommate with benefits, and my skin was far too thin to deal with that.
so, i gave the landlord three months, unilaterally dissolved the lease and told her i was moving out.
she initially refused to accept this, because she thought i'd never leave her - she took me for granted. but, i was fed up. i wanted to stay friends, but i couldn't live with her any more, not with her lifestyle choices. like, she didn't like to use condoms - which is why she accidentally got impregnated a few months later. oops.
i kept telling her "sarah, i'm moving on feb 1st. what are you doing?" and she refused to believe i was moving until the truck showed up. she just kept saying "you're not really moving, you wouldn't do that.".
and, yet i did do that.
and, predictably, she showed up at my apartment door in mid-february, looking to move in. i actually had no choice but to decline, as my co-signer (my dad) made it a condition to refuse her entry. she stayed a few nights in my new place, and managed to seduce me in the communal sauna in front of some elderly tenants who gave me smirks for months, but she ended up in a rooming house, in the end.
so, what does that suggest?
she was bluffing.
but, i was fed up...
we were still having sex for years afterwards, too; she didn't cut me off until i went back on hormones, which is when she finally gave up.
so, there was the time i bought her fajitas and talked her into eating protein, when she was pregnant. there was the time when she asked me to bring her flour, and i brought her flowers (which she kept on her kitchen table for years, to the enragement of her boyfriend). there was the time we went for a walk through the tulip festival, and the time she brought me to the family lunch at the clocktower on her birthday, to the stern consternation of her father, who thought they'd gotten rid of me years ago. and many other times...
like, we strung each other along for years.
i don't know what stories are floating around out there, but when your ex calls you for lunch four or five years after you've broken up, she's still feeling something, there.
i couldn't handle the kids - and she had two of them, last i checked in, neither of which are mine, as far as i can tell (although the first was named after me, and she also asked me to be her godfather, which i declined). i just did not want kids, and had the decency to be crystal clear that making the decision to have and raise kids meant she would need to find a partner willing to do it with her. everything else aside, it was a non-starter, end of story, game over. and, you can call me names, but i think i have self-determination here, and she never really seemed to be angry with me about it...
....until i went back on hormones.
that was her red line. clearly.
at
02:24
given that he needs to win some combination of states that include arizona, north carolina, wisconsin, new hampshire & minnesota, i'm not exactly sure why biden thinks walking right into a debate on gun control is a good idea.
i mean, it's one thing to hold a position when pushed on it.
it's another to make it a ballot issue.
so, of course fox is nailing him on it.
again: i don't think this is substantive policy. i don't care much for guns, and won't stand up for gun rights. but, i don't think that gun control is going to reduce crime, either. i see it as irrelevant.
but, i'm the minority.
and, it doesn't matter what the margin in california is.
i mean, it's one thing to hold a position when pushed on it.
it's another to make it a ballot issue.
so, of course fox is nailing him on it.
again: i don't think this is substantive policy. i don't care much for guns, and won't stand up for gun rights. but, i don't think that gun control is going to reduce crime, either. i see it as irrelevant.
but, i'm the minority.
and, it doesn't matter what the margin in california is.
at
01:10
so, i got a fruit bowl. and, i'm actually caught up on my diet now - this is the end of sunday's meal, not the start of monday's, and i'm not hungry. goodbye pasta....
i couldn't stomach the banana peel. gross.
but, i put it away for later...
if one peel has about 10% each of a, c, b1, b6 & e, which seems to be roughly right (i wish i could find a better source), then a banana peel smoothie with 7 peels, and maybe some chocolate soy, would be a good vitamin top-up once a week. that way, i don't have to taste it...
i could potentially put the strawberry tops in there, too, and leave the salad for more delicious ingredients.
the capsicum seeds were, in the long run, quite a chunk of fibre for me, and i certainly felt it this afternoon, through a couple of trips. i'm ok. but, if that happens again after grinding, i think i'll pass on it further.
the a & e are fat soluble, and the c and b aren't. so, i'm going to add this to the diet, as well. so...
daily:
1) fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- ice cream
- soy milk
+
- blueberries?
- raspberries?
- rosehips (if locatable)
2) salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- chopped carrots
- red pepper seeds (ground)
- hemp seeds (ground)
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
+
- broccoli leaves or kale or dandelion leaves?
- red clover (if locatable)
- alfafa?
every second day:
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread (including the germ!)
- olive oil margarine
+
- salami?
- indoor grown tuna or salmon?
- + apple juice? carrot juice? water?
weekly:
banana peel smoothie:
- 7 banana peels
- strawberry tops
- chocolate soy
- cherry ice cream
i couldn't stomach the banana peel. gross.
but, i put it away for later...
if one peel has about 10% each of a, c, b1, b6 & e, which seems to be roughly right (i wish i could find a better source), then a banana peel smoothie with 7 peels, and maybe some chocolate soy, would be a good vitamin top-up once a week. that way, i don't have to taste it...
i could potentially put the strawberry tops in there, too, and leave the salad for more delicious ingredients.
the capsicum seeds were, in the long run, quite a chunk of fibre for me, and i certainly felt it this afternoon, through a couple of trips. i'm ok. but, if that happens again after grinding, i think i'll pass on it further.
the a & e are fat soluble, and the c and b aren't. so, i'm going to add this to the diet, as well. so...
daily:
1) fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- ice cream
- soy milk
+
- blueberries?
- raspberries?
- rosehips (if locatable)
2) salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- chopped carrots
- red pepper seeds (ground)
- hemp seeds (ground)
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
+
- broccoli leaves or kale or dandelion leaves?
- red clover (if locatable)
- alfafa?
every second day:
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread (including the germ!)
- olive oil margarine
+
- salami?
- indoor grown tuna or salmon?
- + apple juice? carrot juice? water?
weekly:
banana peel smoothie:
- 7 banana peels
- strawberry tops
- chocolate soy
- cherry ice cream
at
00:31
Sunday, September 13, 2020
sarah went after me, i didn't go after her.
and, i'd have normally rejected her, but she got me in a singular weak point, when i was just going into transition.
she explicitly asked me to experiment, and i said "ok, i'll try".
she hooked me on an emotional level, not a sexual one. and, i just didn't have the maturity to deal with it.
and, i'd have normally rejected her, but she got me in a singular weak point, when i was just going into transition.
she explicitly asked me to experiment, and i said "ok, i'll try".
she hooked me on an emotional level, not a sexual one. and, i just didn't have the maturity to deal with it.
at
21:35
i spent the first 21 years of my life completely single. when i met sarah, i wasn't just a virgin, i was somebody that had never experienced a kiss, had never been on a date, and had never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. i had absolutely no sexual or romantic experience with anybody at all, whatsoever. in fact, i barely even had any friends - i could count the number of people i'd called a friend since elementary school on one hand.
i then went through a phase with sarah that lasted about 36 months and left me entirely disinterested in women as lovers.
i have neither had sex nor romance since. and, i don't expect i will ever again.
i was primarily attracted to men, sexually, the whole time, i just didn't know how to process it. i didn't feel like a "gay man", i felt more like a woman. so, i broadly resisted my urges, under the argument that i would't really be able to satisfy them. anal sex just struck me as a bad compromise. it wasn't what i actually fantasized about or what i actually wanted.
i guess i'm a perfectionist in a lot of ways; if i can't get exactly what i want, i don't bother. and, i knew i couldn't get what i wanted, so i waited. and waited.
i would rather be sexless, at this point; that's a choice i made a long time ago, and one i want to follow through with. my desires have not altered, and i'm not changing what i want. don't think i'm giving up. even if forced to detransition, my end goal will remain surgical castration. it's not just sex that i find unappealing, but sexuality, itself.
but, i may have to face the facts in front of me for the near future: i am going to be unable to suppress my testosterone, whether i like it or not.
and, i'll have to decide whether i want to experience that or not, as it happens.
i then went through a phase with sarah that lasted about 36 months and left me entirely disinterested in women as lovers.
i have neither had sex nor romance since. and, i don't expect i will ever again.
i was primarily attracted to men, sexually, the whole time, i just didn't know how to process it. i didn't feel like a "gay man", i felt more like a woman. so, i broadly resisted my urges, under the argument that i would't really be able to satisfy them. anal sex just struck me as a bad compromise. it wasn't what i actually fantasized about or what i actually wanted.
i guess i'm a perfectionist in a lot of ways; if i can't get exactly what i want, i don't bother. and, i knew i couldn't get what i wanted, so i waited. and waited.
i would rather be sexless, at this point; that's a choice i made a long time ago, and one i want to follow through with. my desires have not altered, and i'm not changing what i want. don't think i'm giving up. even if forced to detransition, my end goal will remain surgical castration. it's not just sex that i find unappealing, but sexuality, itself.
but, i may have to face the facts in front of me for the near future: i am going to be unable to suppress my testosterone, whether i like it or not.
and, i'll have to decide whether i want to experience that or not, as it happens.
at
21:32
i've never been gay or identified as gay, but it seems like the government has made this choice for me, and i'm going to have to learn how to figure it out.
just give me some space and some time to adjust to it.
just give me some space and some time to adjust to it.
at
21:04
so, what's going to happen if i detransition against my will, and don't have the courage to kill myself?
1) if you're a ciswomen, do not talk to me. i am likely to become violent and aggressive with you. i may very well harm you. i don't want you to hit on me. i don't want to be your friend. i want you to leave me alone until i can figure out how to adjust. it could be a very, very long time before i'm able to deal with this.
2) if you're a gay man, i may be more open to communicating with you, but you have to understand that i'm a total sub.
what i'm going to do is go out of my way to avoid people.
and, the feds may get what they want - i may walk around in a ski mask, because i'm too embarrassed to show my face in public.
1) if you're a ciswomen, do not talk to me. i am likely to become violent and aggressive with you. i may very well harm you. i don't want you to hit on me. i don't want to be your friend. i want you to leave me alone until i can figure out how to adjust. it could be a very, very long time before i'm able to deal with this.
2) if you're a gay man, i may be more open to communicating with you, but you have to understand that i'm a total sub.
what i'm going to do is go out of my way to avoid people.
and, the feds may get what they want - i may walk around in a ski mask, because i'm too embarrassed to show my face in public.
at
20:50
i lost my tabs on an unwanted reboot, but i was cleaning them up before it happened.
so, final thoughts on flavonols are...
1) like most things, you want to eat them with a little fat. so, putting ice cream in my fruit bowl helps with absorption. i already knew that, though.
2) you want to avoid eating them with animal protein, as they may bind to it. you want these things to get in your system in a way that they're able to bind to open electrons, so you don't want them to bind to animal proteins, first.
3) while there may be certain things that can be done to these molecules to increase absorption, information as to what is naturally available appears to be scarce. aglycones appear to exist in some unknown ratio in most foods that have flavonols, and methylation appears to occur in unclear concentrations. these are ideas i should look at on a flavonoid-by-flavonoid basis.
i went from being unable to stay awake to being unable to sleep and i wish i understood the factors underlying it, besides my hormones fluctuating, which i just can't avoid, because i'm not getting sufficient access to care. i'm noticing some unwanted effects of cutting back on the t-blockers, and i can't do anything about it but hide inside, cry by myself and try to get a hold of a surgeon. but, over the last 12 hours or so, i'm noticing rising levels of angry, depressive and violent thoughts along with extreme difficulties focusing. testosterone kills brain cells. so, i don't know what to do, besides point to the fact that i warned everybody about the consequences of detransition, before it happens.
i'm very unhappy right now.
so, i don't know what's next.
what i need to do next, regarding the diet work through, is to connect the various dietary components to actual food sources and try to add it all up. but, i'm not sure i'm in a mental state that's going to allow me to do anything except shiver in the corner and cry.
so, final thoughts on flavonols are...
1) like most things, you want to eat them with a little fat. so, putting ice cream in my fruit bowl helps with absorption. i already knew that, though.
2) you want to avoid eating them with animal protein, as they may bind to it. you want these things to get in your system in a way that they're able to bind to open electrons, so you don't want them to bind to animal proteins, first.
3) while there may be certain things that can be done to these molecules to increase absorption, information as to what is naturally available appears to be scarce. aglycones appear to exist in some unknown ratio in most foods that have flavonols, and methylation appears to occur in unclear concentrations. these are ideas i should look at on a flavonoid-by-flavonoid basis.
i went from being unable to stay awake to being unable to sleep and i wish i understood the factors underlying it, besides my hormones fluctuating, which i just can't avoid, because i'm not getting sufficient access to care. i'm noticing some unwanted effects of cutting back on the t-blockers, and i can't do anything about it but hide inside, cry by myself and try to get a hold of a surgeon. but, over the last 12 hours or so, i'm noticing rising levels of angry, depressive and violent thoughts along with extreme difficulties focusing. testosterone kills brain cells. so, i don't know what to do, besides point to the fact that i warned everybody about the consequences of detransition, before it happens.
i'm very unhappy right now.
so, i don't know what's next.
what i need to do next, regarding the diet work through, is to connect the various dietary components to actual food sources and try to add it all up. but, i'm not sure i'm in a mental state that's going to allow me to do anything except shiver in the corner and cry.
at
20:26
the only other thing i'd suggest is that those live versions of king kong are really existent in the midpoint between period davis and early doors.
i am not a doors fan - i think they were terrible.
but, i think that ray manzarek's influence on both fusion and progressive rock is rather understated.
early zappa was, in some ways, a parody of the doors. it was zappa that went to town with it and gets most of the credit.
but, it was really the doors that presented the document 0, as it was.
if you ask roger waters, he'll tell you they were initially based on the doors, as well - which is key, as they were the first to do it in the uk.
i am not a doors fan - i think they were terrible.
but, i think that ray manzarek's influence on both fusion and progressive rock is rather understated.
early zappa was, in some ways, a parody of the doors. it was zappa that went to town with it and gets most of the credit.
but, it was really the doors that presented the document 0, as it was.
if you ask roger waters, he'll tell you they were initially based on the doors, as well - which is key, as they were the first to do it in the uk.
at
16:04
why do the history books say davis invented fusion then?
because miles davis is the pythagoras of jazz.
he invented everything, even when he didn't, really.
we attribute these things to him, even when he's not truly responsible.
because miles davis is the pythagoras of jazz.
he invented everything, even when he didn't, really.
we attribute these things to him, even when he's not truly responsible.
at
15:49
hendrix, however, was not a fusion guitarist.
it's tempting, but he just wasn't. he was a blues guitarist through and through....
of course, who knows what he would have done had he lived past the age of 27, right? he didn't...
it's tempting, but he just wasn't. he was a blues guitarist through and through....
of course, who knows what he would have done had he lived past the age of 27, right? he didn't...
at
15:38
for historical purposes, let it be recorded here that this appears to be the earliest example of jazz fusion, as it is understood today, i.e. with guitars. you could make arguments that davis was playing with this style with his work with williams in the "post-bop" style, but there is only one track with a guitar in it on miles in the sky and mclaughlin didn't step in until 1969.
so, yes - it was frank that did it first.
1967:
1968:
so, yes - it was frank that did it first.
1967:
1968:
however, there is a caveat to this.
mclaughlin was not miles' first choice.
miles wanted hendrix, who couldn't commit.
if miles had talked hendrix into it earlier, he might have gotten this out before frank did, and it might have entirely redefined the concept.
that's not what happened, though - it was frank that did it first, and it's hard not to hear the influence that frank had on what we now call jazz fusion, as a result of it.
at
15:35
68 years is a long time.
i couldn't imagine that kind of loss.
https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2020/09/13/aline-chretien-wife-of-former-pm-jean-chretien-dead-at-84.html
i couldn't imagine that kind of loss.
https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2020/09/13/aline-chretien-wife-of-former-pm-jean-chretien-dead-at-84.html
at
14:19
...and, i just seem to have shit out some capsicum seeds. how 'bout that.
i didn't do a thorough survey, but, by eyeing it, i'd say the seeds came out at about 20% of the volume they came in at. so, i guess there's some chance that my stomach sucked out the good parts and spat out the cellulose, but it seems to be more likely that it just couldn't do much with them, and any shrinkage is just from acidification.
so, i'll try grinding them next time and see what happens.
i didn't do a thorough survey, but, by eyeing it, i'd say the seeds came out at about 20% of the volume they came in at. so, i guess there's some chance that my stomach sucked out the good parts and spat out the cellulose, but it seems to be more likely that it just couldn't do much with them, and any shrinkage is just from acidification.
so, i'll try grinding them next time and see what happens.
at
13:09
there's a few early prog tracks that my interpretation of eulogy is probably unconsciously built on.
if you're familiar with early genesis, you know how much of a big influence they were on early tool, in terms of song structure. one can't help but wonder if this early gabriel tune may have been a direct influence, if my interpretation has any value. the ending section at 7:00 or so is very, very tool - and something genesis did over and over again for years.
if you're familiar with early genesis, you know how much of a big influence they were on early tool, in terms of song structure. one can't help but wonder if this early gabriel tune may have been a direct influence, if my interpretation has any value. the ending section at 7:00 or so is very, very tool - and something genesis did over and over again for years.
this appropriation of english medieval language was kind of a common theme in genesis.
while a little different, this is basically a tool song with keyboards:
so is this, although you need to get through the early tapping workout first (which van halen has credited as being influential on him):
this is also basically a tool song, with keyboards, or at least starts off as one, although nobody plays guitar like this guy. nobody.
so, people cite crimson, but i think that's more of a drumming thing. really. crimson never did anything quite like tool, but you could often mistake genesis for tool.
anyways, the point i'm making is that there's some context, here, it's not random.
at
12:52
i'm just getting around to this now.
the last two records have been disappointing, to say the least.
so, is this a return to form, or stasis in boringness?
let's find out.
they were at the peak of their powers about 2003-2010, and they were truly outstanding, when they were.
the last two records have been disappointing, to say the least.
so, is this a return to form, or stasis in boringness?
let's find out.
they were at the peak of their powers about 2003-2010, and they were truly outstanding, when they were.
at
10:22
punk moves in waves.
you could say i hit them when they come in, and go looking for mostly instrumental music when the tide's out.
you could say i hit them when they come in, and go looking for mostly instrumental music when the tide's out.
at
10:00
i always interpreted eulogy as being an anti-war song, and i think it may be the most powerful anti-war song i've ever heard. their fan base tends to interpret it differently.
would you die for me?
don't you fucking lie.
don't you step out of line.
you've claimed all this time that you would die for me
why then are you so surprised when you hear your own eulogy?
yeah, maybe that could be about jesus. or something.
it makes more sense to me that it's about the united states marines.
and, of course, aenema is a vicious attack on hollywood and contemporary mainstream culture....
these are viewpoints i found interesting.
his (not so) recent turn towards religion is not interesting to me at all. sorry.
would you die for me?
don't you fucking lie.
don't you step out of line.
you've claimed all this time that you would die for me
why then are you so surprised when you hear your own eulogy?
yeah, maybe that could be about jesus. or something.
it makes more sense to me that it's about the united states marines.
and, of course, aenema is a vicious attack on hollywood and contemporary mainstream culture....
these are viewpoints i found interesting.
his (not so) recent turn towards religion is not interesting to me at all. sorry.
at
09:20
i liked tool when they were angry, critical and mean.
i don't like them since they've become "philosophical", "spiritual" and "deep".
this is the tool i liked:
and, i understand that, if you're a little younger, you might not even recognize that as tool....
....but it's the older version i liked, not the newer version...
i don't like them since they've become "philosophical", "spiritual" and "deep".
this is the tool i liked:
and, i understand that, if you're a little younger, you might not even recognize that as tool....
....but it's the older version i liked, not the newer version...
at
09:11
and, while i may like to go back in time and meet the old maynard james keenan, i'm not sure i would throw a life jacket at the new maynard james keenan, if i saw him drowning in a lake.
at
09:08
i would probably still get along relatively well with trent reznor c. 1994.
i think i would hate trent reznor if i met him today - i'd just seethe animosity towards him.
i think i would hate trent reznor if i met him today - i'd just seethe animosity towards him.
at
09:07
what i'll say is that i think we're due for something new and i hope i'll be able to find it.
at
09:06
did i change?
sure.
a little.
but, ideologically speaking, i went in one direction and they went in the exact opposite.
by about 2003/2004, i was listening almost entirely to what became labelled "post-rock", bands like tortoise and gybe!, and a collection of electronic artists that got grouped under the label 'idm', which was centered mostly around the warp records catalogue.
as such, i consider alternative rock to be a mostly 80s phenomenon, that happened as an outgrowth of the punk movement and had completely run it's course well before the year 2000.
the basic idm/post-rock combination remained where my musical brain existed until roughly the year 2010, when i became aware of a punk revival being led by bands like touche amore, screaming females and la dispute. this rekindled an interest in me in a new generation of punk bands, in a period where alternative rock was long dead and both idm & post-rock had become stale. there was some outgrowth in acts like son lux, but the act i was hoping would lead the way forward - 65dayofstatic - seems to have largely evaporated.
the last couple of years have been pretty stale, in terms of new music, and i have't found myself attracted to much of anything. there's been some guitar-driven techno-funk acts like sunsquabi, but not much else. so, i've been mostly exploring music from the past; i've been more excited about beethoven than anything really new.
there's an opportunity here for new music to assert itself, and we'll see what the kids can come up with. i'm trying to get my head around this myself, but i may never solve my living arrangement concerns and, as such, may never finish my discography. sadly.
what i'd like to hear is a more serious fusion of electronic music & classical music, and there's lots of space for guitars in that synthesis. but, we'll see what other people think - and if i like it or think it's worthwhile or not.
styles i'm not likely to get excited about include folk, metal, opera, country, pop and hip-hop. together, that seems to be saturating even independent music circles, right now. but, things will get better in time, they always do.
sure.
a little.
but, ideologically speaking, i went in one direction and they went in the exact opposite.
by about 2003/2004, i was listening almost entirely to what became labelled "post-rock", bands like tortoise and gybe!, and a collection of electronic artists that got grouped under the label 'idm', which was centered mostly around the warp records catalogue.
as such, i consider alternative rock to be a mostly 80s phenomenon, that happened as an outgrowth of the punk movement and had completely run it's course well before the year 2000.
the basic idm/post-rock combination remained where my musical brain existed until roughly the year 2010, when i became aware of a punk revival being led by bands like touche amore, screaming females and la dispute. this rekindled an interest in me in a new generation of punk bands, in a period where alternative rock was long dead and both idm & post-rock had become stale. there was some outgrowth in acts like son lux, but the act i was hoping would lead the way forward - 65dayofstatic - seems to have largely evaporated.
the last couple of years have been pretty stale, in terms of new music, and i have't found myself attracted to much of anything. there's been some guitar-driven techno-funk acts like sunsquabi, but not much else. so, i've been mostly exploring music from the past; i've been more excited about beethoven than anything really new.
there's an opportunity here for new music to assert itself, and we'll see what the kids can come up with. i'm trying to get my head around this myself, but i may never solve my living arrangement concerns and, as such, may never finish my discography. sadly.
what i'd like to hear is a more serious fusion of electronic music & classical music, and there's lots of space for guitars in that synthesis. but, we'll see what other people think - and if i like it or think it's worthwhile or not.
styles i'm not likely to get excited about include folk, metal, opera, country, pop and hip-hop. together, that seems to be saturating even independent music circles, right now. but, things will get better in time, they always do.
at
09:06
nine inch nails:
pretty hate machine: B+
broken: A
fixed: A+
march of the pigs: A-
the downward spiral: A-
closer: A+
further down the spiral v1/v2: A+
the perfect drug: A-
the fragile: B (deviations: A-)
things falling apart: F
still: A+
with teeth: D
year zero: B- (remixed: C+)
ghosts: B
the slip: D
hesitation marks: C-
trilogy: C (jessica edit: B+)
do you see the pattern?
pretty hate machine: B+
broken: A
fixed: A+
march of the pigs: A-
the downward spiral: A-
closer: A+
further down the spiral v1/v2: A+
the perfect drug: A-
the fragile: B (deviations: A-)
things falling apart: F
still: A+
with teeth: D
year zero: B- (remixed: C+)
ghosts: B
the slip: D
hesitation marks: C-
trilogy: C (jessica edit: B+)
do you see the pattern?
at
07:57
we can do this for radiohead, too.
pablo honey: B
the bends: A+
ok computer: A
kid A: B
amnesiac: B+
hail to the thief: C
in rainbows: D
the king of limbs: D
a moon shaped pool: D
pablo honey: B
the bends: A+
ok computer: A
kid A: B
amnesiac: B+
hail to the thief: C
in rainbows: D
the king of limbs: D
a moon shaped pool: D
at
07:46
and, again, to be clear on a point, regarding tool.
opiate: C-
undertow: B
aenima: A
lateralus: C+
10,00 days: D
fear innoculum: F
opiate: C-
undertow: B
aenima: A
lateralus: C+
10,00 days: D
fear innoculum: F
at
07:40
the seeds seem to have gone down just fine in the omelette; i didn't even notice they were there. well, i've been eating tomato seeds for years...
i wonder if i should have ground them, though.
i can't find a good answer, but it makes sense.
next time.
i wonder if i should have ground them, though.
i can't find a good answer, but it makes sense.
next time.
at
05:18
this is why i look for paul.
this is such a sober analysis in such a crazy time.
but, let me ask this question: is it worth it to hold your nose? or should we wait for 2024?
https://theanalysis.news/interviews/biden-blurring-almost-everything-thomas-ferguson/
this is such a sober analysis in such a crazy time.
but, let me ask this question: is it worth it to hold your nose? or should we wait for 2024?
https://theanalysis.news/interviews/biden-blurring-almost-everything-thomas-ferguson/
at
04:05
contrary to what the internet claims, though, i can't imagine there's much b12 in the peels :\.
at
02:22
well...
why don't i try to eat the banana peel one more time and see?
i'm going to guess that i'm going to have a hard time finding data on this, but that cooking it is probably just going to ruin it. so, if i'm going to eat it, i should find a way to eat it raw.
why don't i try to eat the banana peel one more time and see?
i'm going to guess that i'm going to have a hard time finding data on this, but that cooking it is probably just going to ruin it. so, if i'm going to eat it, i should find a way to eat it raw.
at
02:21
i'm just about to make some eggs, and i guess there's just one more thing.
how much of the fruit am i wasting, currently? if i'm ultimately looking for increases in vitamins, should i just eat the rest of the fruit, somehow?
1) strawberries. i currently cut off the tops, and while i don't want to eat the receptacle, i'm considering throwing the tops in the salad. it's just a different type of lettuce, right? if strawberries are full of c, there should be lots in the leaves, too.
2) kiwis. i cut the little receptacle out, but i eat the kiwi skins.
3) bananas. nobody eats the peels, right? this study suggests they're 50% vitamin e. yeah...that maybe solves some problems right there....although, how to eat them without consuming the pesticide is another question. i've tried a few times, and they're legit gross.
https://www.imedpub.com/articles/gcms-analysis-of-bioactive-components-from-banana-peelmusa-sapientum-peel.pdf
4) raspberries & blueberries don't come with leaves on them...
5) i eat the whole tomato.
6) red peppers. i'm going to try to throw the seeds into my omelette and see what happens. again - if the peppers are high in vitamin a, the seeds must be too, right? this confirms that a (of the gamma isomer) and c are both in there, but doesn't explain how much. i could throw them in the salad, as well.
how much of the fruit am i wasting, currently? if i'm ultimately looking for increases in vitamins, should i just eat the rest of the fruit, somehow?
1) strawberries. i currently cut off the tops, and while i don't want to eat the receptacle, i'm considering throwing the tops in the salad. it's just a different type of lettuce, right? if strawberries are full of c, there should be lots in the leaves, too.
2) kiwis. i cut the little receptacle out, but i eat the kiwi skins.
3) bananas. nobody eats the peels, right? this study suggests they're 50% vitamin e. yeah...that maybe solves some problems right there....although, how to eat them without consuming the pesticide is another question. i've tried a few times, and they're legit gross.
https://www.imedpub.com/articles/gcms-analysis-of-bioactive-components-from-banana-peelmusa-sapientum-peel.pdf
4) raspberries & blueberries don't come with leaves on them...
5) i eat the whole tomato.
6) red peppers. i'm going to try to throw the seeds into my omelette and see what happens. again - if the peppers are high in vitamin a, the seeds must be too, right? this confirms that a (of the gamma isomer) and c are both in there, but doesn't explain how much. i could throw them in the salad, as well.
at
02:15
i've posted this a few times and pulled back but i think i'm done, now.
so, what is the list of everything i need to get?
13 vitamins:
1) A
2) B1 (thiamine)
3) B2 (riboflavin)
4) B3 (niacin)
5) B5 (pantothenic acid)
6) B6.
7) B7 (biotin)
8) B12.
9) Folic acid.
10) C
11) D
12) E,
13) K
15 amino acids:
1) histidine
2) isoleucine
3) leucine
4) lysine
5) methionine
6) phenylalanine
7) threonine
8) tryptophan
9) valine
10) arginine
11) cysteine
12) glycine
13) glutamine
14) proline
15) tyrosine.
4 fatty acids:
1) linoleic acid
2) ala
3) dha
4) epa
23 minerals:
1) calcium
2) phosphorus
3) potassium
4) sulfur
5) sodium
6) chlorine
7) magnesium
8) iron
9) zinc
10) copper
11) manganese
12) iodine
13) selenium
14) molybdenum
15) chromium
16) fluoride
17) bromine
18) cobalt
19) tin
20) vanadium
21) silicon
22) boron
23) nickel
24) lead?
carotenoids (not including pro-vitamin a)
1) lutein
2) zeaxanthin
3) lycopene
4) phytofluene
5) phytoene
6) astaxanthin
7) capsanthin
8) canthaxanthin
9) cryptoxanthin
chlorophyll:
1) chlorophyll a
2) chlorophyll b
other molecules required for proper metabolic functions:
1) choline (cannot synthesize properly)
2) coQ10
3) lipoic acid
4) glutathione precursors
glucose:
i'm more concerned about diabetes than weight gain, so...
the glycemic index is:
running total...
fiber:
i don't need many different types, i just need some. i'm not worrying about this.
& water
fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- ice cream
- soy milk
+
- blueberries?
- raspberries?
- rosehips (if locatable)
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds (ground)
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
+
- broccoli leaves or kale or dandelion leaves?
- red clover (if locatable)
- alfafa?
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread (including the germ!)
- olive oil margarine
+
- salami?
- indoor grown tuna or salmon?
- + apple juice? carrot juice? water?
so, what is the list of everything i need to get?
13 vitamins:
1) A
2) B1 (thiamine)
3) B2 (riboflavin)
4) B3 (niacin)
5) B5 (pantothenic acid)
6) B6.
7) B7 (biotin)
8) B12.
9) Folic acid.
10) C
11) D
12) E,
13) K
15 amino acids:
1) histidine
2) isoleucine
3) leucine
4) lysine
5) methionine
6) phenylalanine
7) threonine
8) tryptophan
9) valine
10) arginine
11) cysteine
12) glycine
13) glutamine
14) proline
15) tyrosine.
4 fatty acids:
1) linoleic acid
2) ala
3) dha
4) epa
23 minerals:
1) calcium
2) phosphorus
3) potassium
4) sulfur
5) sodium
6) chlorine
7) magnesium
8) iron
9) zinc
10) copper
11) manganese
12) iodine
13) selenium
14) molybdenum
15) chromium
16) fluoride
17) bromine
18) cobalt
19) tin
20) vanadium
21) silicon
22) boron
23) nickel
24) lead?
carotenoids (not including pro-vitamin a)
1) lutein
2) zeaxanthin
3) lycopene
4) phytofluene
5) phytoene
6) astaxanthin
7) capsanthin
8) canthaxanthin
9) cryptoxanthin
chlorophyll:
1) chlorophyll a
2) chlorophyll b
other molecules required for proper metabolic functions:
1) choline (cannot synthesize properly)
2) coQ10
3) lipoic acid
4) glutathione precursors
i'm more concerned about diabetes than weight gain, so...
the glycemic index is:
running total...
fiber:
i don't need many different types, i just need some. i'm not worrying about this.
& water
also, let's measure flavonoids:
anthocyanidins:
1) pelargonidin
2) delphinidin
3) cyanidin
4) malvinidin
5) peonidin
6) petunidin
7) rosinidin
flavonols:
1) isorhamnetin
2) kaempferol
3) myricetin
4) quercetin
5) fisetin
6) kaempferide
flavones:
1) luteolin
2) apigenin
3) techtochrysin
4) baicalein (to avoid!)
5) norwogonin
6) wogonin
7) nobiletin
flavanones:
1) eriodictyol
2) hesperetin
3) naringenin
4) hesperidin
5) isosakuranetin
6) pinocembrin
7) sterubin
isoflavones:
1) daidzein
2) genistein
3) glycitein
4) biochanin A
5) formononetin
i should try to measure some further phytoestrogens:
1) matairesinol
2) secoisolariciresinol
3) pinoresinol
4) lariciresinol
& finally, let's also measure:
1) saponins
2) ursolic acid (& precursors)
3) cafestol
4) resveratrol
5) ellagic acid
6) coumarin
7) tyrosol
8) hydroxytyrosol
9) oleocanthal
10) oleuropein
11) gingerol
12) phytic acid
anthocyanidins:
1) pelargonidin
2) delphinidin
3) cyanidin
4) malvinidin
5) peonidin
6) petunidin
7) rosinidin
flavonols:
1) isorhamnetin
2) kaempferol
3) myricetin
4) quercetin
5) fisetin
6) kaempferide
flavones:
1) luteolin
2) apigenin
3) techtochrysin
4) baicalein (to avoid!)
5) norwogonin
6) wogonin
7) nobiletin
flavanones:
1) eriodictyol
2) hesperetin
3) naringenin
4) hesperidin
5) isosakuranetin
6) pinocembrin
7) sterubin
isoflavones:
1) daidzein
2) genistein
3) glycitein
4) biochanin A
5) formononetin
i should try to measure some further phytoestrogens:
1) matairesinol
2) secoisolariciresinol
3) pinoresinol
4) lariciresinol
5) coumestrol
1) saponins
2) ursolic acid (& precursors)
3) cafestol
4) resveratrol
5) ellagic acid
6) coumarin
7) tyrosol
8) hydroxytyrosol
9) oleocanthal
10) oleuropein
11) gingerol
12) phytic acid
so, here's what i'm looking at, let's see what makes the cut in what percentage, in the end....
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- ice cream
- soy milk
+
- blueberries?
- raspberries?
- rosehips (if locatable)
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds (ground)
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
+
- broccoli leaves or kale or dandelion leaves?
- red clover (if locatable)
- alfafa?
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread (including the germ!)
- olive oil margarine
+
- salami?
- indoor grown tuna or salmon?
- + apple juice? carrot juice? water?
at
01:07
regarding phytosterols...
i'm almost a vegetarian. my total cholesterol levels are exceedingly low, and my ldl:hdl ratio is truly outstanding. the high ratio of plant to animal cholesterol in my diet is the reason why.
that said, it seems to be a reason to increase my vitamin a and vitamin e levels to roughly 200% of the rdi. so, my feeling that i was running low on these vitamins may have been rather astute.
and, that's something vegetarians should be aware of that i was not previously - we focus mostly on the b12. but, you need to get your e and a up, too, because your inherently low hdl levels make it harder to transport them, and you need to overcome that with brute force.
make sure you're eating the right produce to deal with that.
i'm almost a vegetarian. my total cholesterol levels are exceedingly low, and my ldl:hdl ratio is truly outstanding. the high ratio of plant to animal cholesterol in my diet is the reason why.
that said, it seems to be a reason to increase my vitamin a and vitamin e levels to roughly 200% of the rdi. so, my feeling that i was running low on these vitamins may have been rather astute.
and, that's something vegetarians should be aware of that i was not previously - we focus mostly on the b12. but, you need to get your e and a up, too, because your inherently low hdl levels make it harder to transport them, and you need to overcome that with brute force.
make sure you're eating the right produce to deal with that.
at
00:09
Saturday, September 12, 2020
so, to recall, here's where we're at
fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- blueberries
- raspberries
- rosehips (if locatable)
- ice cream
- soy milk
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- microwaved broccoli leaves or kale or dandelion leaves?
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds (ground)
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread
- salami?
- indoor grown tuna or salmon?
- olive oil margarine
- + apple juice
fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- blueberries
- raspberries
- rosehips (if locatable)
- ice cream
- soy milk
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- microwaved broccoli leaves or kale or dandelion leaves?
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds (ground)
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread
- salami?
- indoor grown tuna or salmon?
- olive oil margarine
- + apple juice
at
23:43
In men, too much estrogen builds up in three common situations: obesity, excessive alcohol use, and smoking. This occurs because chronic inflammation, which is associated with these conditions, increases the conversion of testosterone into estrogen. Since estrogen causes the liver to produce more of the carrier protein for testosterone, which is known as sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG), less free, or unbound, testosterone results. Low levels of free testosterone and higher estrogen levels in men are associated with excess body fat, reduced sex drive, depression, and erectile dysfunction.
Since only free testosterone easily crosses into the brain, muscles and fat cells, much of the desirable action of testosterone has to do with the free portion. Free testosterone represents only a tiny amount of the total testosterone, equal to only 2 percent of the total in men and even less in women.
DIM is able to support free testosterone without changing total testosterone levels; it does not raise testosterone levels but supports its activity through its effects on estrogen metabolism. This helps to maintain a healthy level of free, active testosterone.
https://fortwaynephysicalmedicine.com/blog/the-benefits-of-dim
Since only free testosterone easily crosses into the brain, muscles and fat cells, much of the desirable action of testosterone has to do with the free portion. Free testosterone represents only a tiny amount of the total testosterone, equal to only 2 percent of the total in men and even less in women.
DIM is able to support free testosterone without changing total testosterone levels; it does not raise testosterone levels but supports its activity through its effects on estrogen metabolism. This helps to maintain a healthy level of free, active testosterone.
https://fortwaynephysicalmedicine.com/blog/the-benefits-of-dim
so, for me, that means kale is fine, too, especially if i can get my testicles removed, quickly; it may "liberate" free testosterone, but (1) i don't hardly have any of that, due to the t-blockers, (2) the concentration i'm getting from the food is very, very low and (3) it won't undo the effects of the t-blockers or stimulate more testosterone production.
good.
in the end, i'll probably pick one or the other depending on availability and price.
right now, i gotta eat to get around the idiot upstairs. and, i may pass out, again. fuck.
at
23:41
so, that disgusting old man is being disgusting again and i may have to get up to eat.
he also looks like he's gained about 100 pounds since the last time i saw him; when i moved in here, he would have been described as an aging jock, but now he's just fat and ugly. he's also grown a very unattractive amount of facial hair.
gotta love what that shit does to you.
he also looks like he's gained about 100 pounds since the last time i saw him; when i moved in here, he would have been described as an aging jock, but now he's just fat and ugly. he's also grown a very unattractive amount of facial hair.
gotta love what that shit does to you.
at
23:20
ok, so what's my final take on the I3C-destroying-estrogen-fiasco?
1) i was going to microwave my broccoli anyways, because this article suggests that it increases the amount of vitamins e & a:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6049644/
2) according to this article, microwaving will remove most of the estrogen-destroying precursors:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2722699/
3) this study, which is too vague to be useful, suggests that they initially didn't observe an increase in blood serum levels until they "adjusted" for it. they don't even indicate dosages. i think we may have found something pushed by the broccoli industry!
https://cebp.aacrjournals.org/content/9/8/773
4) going back to the original source,
i) there are ~ 30 mg of total glucosinolates in a half cup of chopped raw brocolli florets, which is about 40g
ii) <15% of that, 4.5 mg, is the precursor i'm worried about
iii) microwaving it should cut that by half, to around 2 mg
iv) there will be some loss in conversion to I3C
v) that itself needs to be converted to DIM
vi) so, i'm looking at, what? 1 mg? less?
Peak plasma concentration of DIM following ingestion of 400 mg I3C was 61 ng/mL
if we're looking at roughly linear changes in concentration, which is reasonable, then peak plasma concentration after 2 mg of consumption would be 0.3 ng/ml.
further, that appears likely to be cleared within an hour or two.
so, i'm clearing broccoli for minimal use...which i'm interested in for the a and the e and the not this stuff....
kale seems to have about twice as much as this stuff as broccoli, and if i don't need the extra vitamins, i may step back from it, except to ask what effect it has on testosterone. which is the next thing to figure out....
so, again: this chemical may be useful in fighting cancer if you take it as a supplement in high dosages (upwards of a gram/day), and if you're a transgendered person that finds themselves with a cancer caused by estrogen then you may be forced to detransition or die and this chemical is likely going to accelerate that detransition if you have to take it, but it doesn't appear to occur in food in sufficient dosages to worry about, or to have much of a cancer-fighting effect, either.
1) i was going to microwave my broccoli anyways, because this article suggests that it increases the amount of vitamins e & a:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6049644/
2) according to this article, microwaving will remove most of the estrogen-destroying precursors:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2722699/
3) this study, which is too vague to be useful, suggests that they initially didn't observe an increase in blood serum levels until they "adjusted" for it. they don't even indicate dosages. i think we may have found something pushed by the broccoli industry!
https://cebp.aacrjournals.org/content/9/8/773
4) going back to the original source,
i) there are ~ 30 mg of total glucosinolates in a half cup of chopped raw brocolli florets, which is about 40g
ii) <15% of that, 4.5 mg, is the precursor i'm worried about
iii) microwaving it should cut that by half, to around 2 mg
iv) there will be some loss in conversion to I3C
v) that itself needs to be converted to DIM
vi) so, i'm looking at, what? 1 mg? less?
Peak plasma concentration of DIM following ingestion of 400 mg I3C was 61 ng/mL
if we're looking at roughly linear changes in concentration, which is reasonable, then peak plasma concentration after 2 mg of consumption would be 0.3 ng/ml.
further, that appears likely to be cleared within an hour or two.
so, i'm clearing broccoli for minimal use...which i'm interested in for the a and the e and the not this stuff....
kale seems to have about twice as much as this stuff as broccoli, and if i don't need the extra vitamins, i may step back from it, except to ask what effect it has on testosterone. which is the next thing to figure out....
so, again: this chemical may be useful in fighting cancer if you take it as a supplement in high dosages (upwards of a gram/day), and if you're a transgendered person that finds themselves with a cancer caused by estrogen then you may be forced to detransition or die and this chemical is likely going to accelerate that detransition if you have to take it, but it doesn't appear to occur in food in sufficient dosages to worry about, or to have much of a cancer-fighting effect, either.
at
23:18
the magic number was around 200,000.
and here we are, in mid september - meaning there's what, six weeks before the election?
it's not going to stop tomorrow - people will keep dying for a long time. but, this is the turning point.
the united states, baffling as it may be, is likely nearing natural herd immunity.
https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/
and here we are, in mid september - meaning there's what, six weeks before the election?
it's not going to stop tomorrow - people will keep dying for a long time. but, this is the turning point.
the united states, baffling as it may be, is likely nearing natural herd immunity.
https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/
at
20:34
the dauphin would not remember the dauphin experiment, aging as he may be, now.
at
19:29
the federal liberals tried an experiment with the ubi in the 70s, but the results were never released. the open secret is that it worked a little too well.
the provincial liberals were experimenting with a ubi before they lost the 2018 election, and they seemed to be on the brink of adopting it. it's one of the first things that doug ford trashed when he took over.
the greens have had a ubi in their platform for years.
the ndp have generally opposed the policy, but have recently jumped on the bandwagon as a reaction to the pandemic.
the provincial liberals were experimenting with a ubi before they lost the 2018 election, and they seemed to be on the brink of adopting it. it's one of the first things that doug ford trashed when he took over.
the greens have had a ubi in their platform for years.
the ndp have generally opposed the policy, but have recently jumped on the bandwagon as a reaction to the pandemic.
at
19:28
you'll tell me a jobs guarantee is better because it reduces reliance.
reliance on what, exactly?
it's often presented as the more "socialist" position than a ubi, but when that argument is presented it generally tends to indicate that the person presenting it hasn't actually read any marx. i mean, i'll concede that a ubi is more like communism than it is like socialism, but socialists that reject communism are called reactionaries.
a jobs guarantee just makes workers reliant on capital; you end up giving people the choice between working and starving, forcing them into things they don't want to do (and it's the anarchist in me that hates that.) and holding them at the whim of whatever capital decides. moving to unions doesn't fix that.
so, what's worse - being reliant on the state or being reliant on capital? you pick your poison, but at least the state is marginally democratic.
the central argument produced by marx is that the socialization of production makes worker reliance unavoidable; we need a social contract between each other, because we can't avoid our reliance on each other anymore. arguing against reliance and in favour of total self-ownership is undoing history. it's an argument for the return of an agrarian society (and if we're going there anyway, let's dust of paine. you may be surprised to find out that...).
so, that's kind of a dumb argument.
and, i don't even think you have to choose - there's no contradiction between a ubi and a jobs guarantee, if you want one.
but, i'm an artist, i don't want one.
reliance on what, exactly?
it's often presented as the more "socialist" position than a ubi, but when that argument is presented it generally tends to indicate that the person presenting it hasn't actually read any marx. i mean, i'll concede that a ubi is more like communism than it is like socialism, but socialists that reject communism are called reactionaries.
a jobs guarantee just makes workers reliant on capital; you end up giving people the choice between working and starving, forcing them into things they don't want to do (and it's the anarchist in me that hates that.) and holding them at the whim of whatever capital decides. moving to unions doesn't fix that.
so, what's worse - being reliant on the state or being reliant on capital? you pick your poison, but at least the state is marginally democratic.
the central argument produced by marx is that the socialization of production makes worker reliance unavoidable; we need a social contract between each other, because we can't avoid our reliance on each other anymore. arguing against reliance and in favour of total self-ownership is undoing history. it's an argument for the return of an agrarian society (and if we're going there anyway, let's dust of paine. you may be surprised to find out that...).
so, that's kind of a dumb argument.
and, i don't even think you have to choose - there's no contradiction between a ubi and a jobs guarantee, if you want one.
but, i'm an artist, i don't want one.
at
16:55
there is some non-zero chance that bay street may decide that a guaranteed basic income is the best way to stop street revolts and push it through.
it may crunch the numbers, and decide it's a more economical form of social welfare.
and, it may pick it up in the form of a negative income tax. that is the kind of party this is, when it's fully functioning, and at it's best.
but, recently, they just tend to ignore the convention, altogether - to their own detriment.
we'll see what happens.
it may crunch the numbers, and decide it's a more economical form of social welfare.
and, it may pick it up in the form of a negative income tax. that is the kind of party this is, when it's fully functioning, and at it's best.
but, recently, they just tend to ignore the convention, altogether - to their own detriment.
we'll see what happens.
at
16:23
you go to one of these conventions, and you think you're at a convention for a party that's a member of the socialist international; they're not "progressive" in the farmers-rights sense, they're often flat out socialist.
but, then you realize that the liberal party of canada is a member of the socialist international, and has historically been this country's worker's party, not the ndp. yet, they're also the bankers party - and the bankers tend to win, and direct policy. it's very weird.
it's a "natural governing party" in a very real sense.
but, then you realize that the liberal party of canada is a member of the socialist international, and has historically been this country's worker's party, not the ndp. yet, they're also the bankers party - and the bankers tend to win, and direct policy. it's very weird.
it's a "natural governing party" in a very real sense.
at
16:20
the liberal party and it's members are two very different groups of people. the conventions are always very, very far to the left of what actually happens, when they govern.
it's fun to attack the liberals as campaigning on the left and governing on the right, but the truth is that that's as much of an observation on the disconnect between the party and it's members as it is anything else.
if history is any guide, they will pass a resolution and the prime minister will act like it never happened.
but, these conventions also define the discourse, so let's hope they ramp it up.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/guaranteed-basic-income-priorities-liberals-1.5721943
it's fun to attack the liberals as campaigning on the left and governing on the right, but the truth is that that's as much of an observation on the disconnect between the party and it's members as it is anything else.
if history is any guide, they will pass a resolution and the prime minister will act like it never happened.
but, these conventions also define the discourse, so let's hope they ramp it up.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/guaranteed-basic-income-priorities-liberals-1.5721943
at
16:16
can we save brocolli?
an increase of 10 g of broccoli was associated with an increase of 0.01 (95% CI, −0.09 to 0.11) in 2:16 values.
so, they couldn't measure the effects of indole-3-carbinol much.
i need a nap. but i think i can save the broccoli and kale, too - supplements seem to demonstrate some effect, but there's not enough absorption to make a difference.
an increase of 10 g of broccoli was associated with an increase of 0.01 (95% CI, −0.09 to 0.11) in 2:16 values.
so, they couldn't measure the effects of indole-3-carbinol much.
i need a nap. but i think i can save the broccoli and kale, too - supplements seem to demonstrate some effect, but there's not enough absorption to make a difference.
at
05:31
that's not the answer i want, it doesn't seem.
farmed trout has about the same ratio as brocolli or kale, it's just more concentrated. i'm not getting anywhere with that.
what i need is something like this, and i'll keep an eye out for it:
http://www.kuterra.com/
http://www.littlecedarfalls.com/steelhead-salmon.html
https://sustainableblue.com/
tuna is actually even better, for what i want it for, but it doesn't seem to be happening indoors at all, at this point.
we'll see what the numbers look like, when i add them up.
farmed trout has about the same ratio as brocolli or kale, it's just more concentrated. i'm not getting anywhere with that.
what i need is something like this, and i'll keep an eye out for it:
http://www.kuterra.com/
http://www.littlecedarfalls.com/steelhead-salmon.html
https://sustainableblue.com/
tuna is actually even better, for what i want it for, but it doesn't seem to be happening indoors at all, at this point.
we'll see what the numbers look like, when i add them up.
at
04:31
what i want is, like, an inland growing pond, not putting them in a cage on the shore.
i wouldn't expect any serious difference in mercury concentrations, if all you're doing is putting a cage around them. you have to take them out of the ocean, for that, altogether...
so, i guess i want freshwater farmed fish, to start.
i wouldn't expect any serious difference in mercury concentrations, if all you're doing is putting a cage around them. you have to take them out of the ocean, for that, altogether...
so, i guess i want freshwater farmed fish, to start.
at
03:39
if the flax at least won't convert the circulating 16 into 2 once it's been metabolized from estrone, how do i get more estrogenic 16-isomers?
this article suggests that it's the omega-6 that converts estrone to 16-isomers and the omega-3 that converts estrone to 2-isomers. that suggests that the reason the flax increased 2-isomer production may be that it's high in omega-3s. it also suggests that, ultimately, the cancer risk is tied into the omega-3:omega-6 ratio, rather than any specific component of the diet.
like everybody else, i have a positive 6:3 ratio because it's just how we eat. you'd essentially have to eat primarily seafood, and accept the risk of the mercury content, to get around that.
so, i need to be careful - on the one hand, i want sufficient 6s to overpower the 2s to feminize, but, on the other hand, i want low total fat to keep the testosterone down and prevent a cancer risk.
i seem to be doing that right as it is.
https://www.baritzwellness.com/storage/app/media/estrogen-metabolism.pdf
this article suggests that it's the omega-6 that converts estrone to 16-isomers and the omega-3 that converts estrone to 2-isomers. that suggests that the reason the flax increased 2-isomer production may be that it's high in omega-3s. it also suggests that, ultimately, the cancer risk is tied into the omega-3:omega-6 ratio, rather than any specific component of the diet.
like everybody else, i have a positive 6:3 ratio because it's just how we eat. you'd essentially have to eat primarily seafood, and accept the risk of the mercury content, to get around that.
so, i need to be careful - on the one hand, i want sufficient 6s to overpower the 2s to feminize, but, on the other hand, i want low total fat to keep the testosterone down and prevent a cancer risk.
i seem to be doing that right as it is.
https://www.baritzwellness.com/storage/app/media/estrogen-metabolism.pdf
at
03:01
this is what i want - a randomized study with a sufficient sample size for post-menopausal women:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01635581.2018.1516789
it took me some time to understand it, though.
this is the takeaway: there were statistically relevant increases of the 2-isomer and of the 2:16 isomer ratio, without any statistically relevant effect on the 16. there were not statistically relevant effects on any other estrogens, but there was a slight decrease in prolactin. so, the 2 went up and the 16 stayed steady, and everything else stayed steady, too, except the prolactin. that means that it is not the case that the 16 was converted into 2 - it is the case that the female body increased production of the 2-isomer. their concern is cancer, so they very specifically want less 16 and more 2. so, from their perspective, the trial failed to convert the 16 into the 2.
but, this article here explains that the 16 is more feminizing than the 2:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/2-methoxyestrone
that means i actually don't want that conversion to happen, and am happy it was not observed.
further, to be clear:
Flaxseed intake did not significantly influence circulating levels of estradiol, free estradiol, estrone, or estrone sulfate in our study. This is consistent with other intervention studies assessing serum (32,35,36), plasma (37), or urinary (33) estrogen levels in postmenopausal women, with the exception of a crossover trial reporting statistically significant reductions in serum estradiol and estrone sulfate with 10 g flaxseed/day for 7 weeks (34). The most biologically active estrogens, estradiol, and estrone, have been associated with elevated postmenopausal breast cancer risk (18,19), thus factors decreasing their levels may be protective. In vitro studies have suggested that lignans may decrease estrogen synthesis by inhibiting the aromatase enzyme responsible for converting testosterone and androstenedione to estradiol and estrone, respectively (28,29,60). However, evidence from intervention trials, including ours, provides stronger support for flaxseed’s role in modifying estrogen metabolism (e.g., 2-hydroxylation of estrone) rather than inhibiting estrogen synthesis.
so, it seems like what they're suggesting is that i shouldn't expect the lignans in flaxseed to have any effect on estrogen circulating in my bloodstream at all, and that is at least a start - do no harm. the decrease in prolactin is also fine, as i produce some as a byproduct of the testosterone suppression.
then, if i wouldn't expect an effect on circulating estrogens, might flaxseed help to suppress testosterone production in genetic men?
apparently, yes - flax consumption, in conjunction with low total fat, should cut down testosterone production by more than a half:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2703189/
so, we're adding some flax :)
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01635581.2018.1516789
it took me some time to understand it, though.
this is the takeaway: there were statistically relevant increases of the 2-isomer and of the 2:16 isomer ratio, without any statistically relevant effect on the 16. there were not statistically relevant effects on any other estrogens, but there was a slight decrease in prolactin. so, the 2 went up and the 16 stayed steady, and everything else stayed steady, too, except the prolactin. that means that it is not the case that the 16 was converted into 2 - it is the case that the female body increased production of the 2-isomer. their concern is cancer, so they very specifically want less 16 and more 2. so, from their perspective, the trial failed to convert the 16 into the 2.
but, this article here explains that the 16 is more feminizing than the 2:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/2-methoxyestrone
that means i actually don't want that conversion to happen, and am happy it was not observed.
further, to be clear:
Flaxseed intake did not significantly influence circulating levels of estradiol, free estradiol, estrone, or estrone sulfate in our study. This is consistent with other intervention studies assessing serum (32,35,36), plasma (37), or urinary (33) estrogen levels in postmenopausal women, with the exception of a crossover trial reporting statistically significant reductions in serum estradiol and estrone sulfate with 10 g flaxseed/day for 7 weeks (34). The most biologically active estrogens, estradiol, and estrone, have been associated with elevated postmenopausal breast cancer risk (18,19), thus factors decreasing their levels may be protective. In vitro studies have suggested that lignans may decrease estrogen synthesis by inhibiting the aromatase enzyme responsible for converting testosterone and androstenedione to estradiol and estrone, respectively (28,29,60). However, evidence from intervention trials, including ours, provides stronger support for flaxseed’s role in modifying estrogen metabolism (e.g., 2-hydroxylation of estrone) rather than inhibiting estrogen synthesis.
so, it seems like what they're suggesting is that i shouldn't expect the lignans in flaxseed to have any effect on estrogen circulating in my bloodstream at all, and that is at least a start - do no harm. the decrease in prolactin is also fine, as i produce some as a byproduct of the testosterone suppression.
then, if i wouldn't expect an effect on circulating estrogens, might flaxseed help to suppress testosterone production in genetic men?
apparently, yes - flax consumption, in conjunction with low total fat, should cut down testosterone production by more than a half:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2703189/
so, we're adding some flax :)
at
02:49
wait.
does flax increase or decrease estrogen levels?
obviously, i don't want to take anything that might decrease it.
so, that's my immediate task - to determine whether flax & broccoli, at dietary levels, are actually estrogen blockers. if they are, no thank you. if they're not, i can move forward with them.
google searches are throwing back contradictory answers.
does flax increase or decrease estrogen levels?
obviously, i don't want to take anything that might decrease it.
so, that's my immediate task - to determine whether flax & broccoli, at dietary levels, are actually estrogen blockers. if they are, no thank you. if they're not, i can move forward with them.
google searches are throwing back contradictory answers.
at
00:51
and, i just learned that you can digest flax, if you ground it first.
i mentioned somewhere back there - a couple of times - that flax seeds are a total waste of time, because they're just fibre.
but, i didn't realize that you could fix that if you grind them. that's good news, as they should more or less perfectly balance out the hemp seeds.
so, this is where i'm at so far.
fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- blueberries
- raspberries
- rosehips (if locatable)
- ice cream
- soy milk
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- broccoli leaves or kale
- dandelion leaves
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread
- salami?
- olive oil margarine
- + apple juice
i mentioned somewhere back there - a couple of times - that flax seeds are a total waste of time, because they're just fibre.
but, i didn't realize that you could fix that if you grind them. that's good news, as they should more or less perfectly balance out the hemp seeds.
so, this is where i'm at so far.
fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- blueberries
- raspberries
- rosehips (if locatable)
- ice cream
- soy milk
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds
- flax seeds (ground!)
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread
- salami?
- olive oil margarine
- + apple juice
at
00:40
ok...
that chemical seems to be poorly absorbed. still, it's something to be very wary of. maybe i might want to find away around that, in getting vitamins e and a. that's a major strike against both broccoli and kale, and "cruciferous vegetables", which i've long viewed as overrated but was finally coming around to, in general.
if i don't need them, maybe i shouldn't bother.
so, this is where i'm at so far.
fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- blueberries
- raspberries
- rosehips (if locatable)
- ice cream
- soy milk
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- microwaved/chopped broccoli
- broccoli leaves or kale
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread
- salami?
- olive oil margarine
- + apple juice
that chemical seems to be poorly absorbed. still, it's something to be very wary of. maybe i might want to find away around that, in getting vitamins e and a. that's a major strike against both broccoli and kale, and "cruciferous vegetables", which i've long viewed as overrated but was finally coming around to, in general.
if i don't need them, maybe i shouldn't bother.
so, this is where i'm at so far.
fruit bowl:
- strawberries
- bananas
- kiwis
- blueberries
- raspberries
- rosehips (if locatable)
- ice cream
- soy milk
salad bowl:
- red peppers
- tomatoes
- chopped carrots
- hemp seeds
- kalamata olives
- lemon
- garlic cloves
- oregano & pepper
- chopped cheese
- bacon bits
- caesar dressing
eggs:
- fried eggs
- cheese
- whole wheat bread
- salami?
- olive oil margarine
- + apple juice
at
00:25
and, then i read this, which is freaking me out about both broccoli and kale...
https://lpi.oregonstate.edu/mic/dietary-factors/phytochemicals/indole-3-carbinol
seems like i might want to avoid those?
more research required, clearly.
https://lpi.oregonstate.edu/mic/dietary-factors/phytochemicals/indole-3-carbinol
seems like i might want to avoid those?
more research required, clearly.
at
00:16
Friday, September 11, 2020
so, i was talking about flavonoids and wanted to post a summary. i still have some reading to do, but...
i can't find any actual science telling me what they're supposed to do; we can barely absorb them, we don't seem to need them for anything, and while eating berries seems to be correlated with healthiness, it's not clear if the flavonoids have anything to do with it. there's lots of other reasons why strawberries are good for you.
so, while these chemicals are antioxidants, your body doesn't seem to use them that way and claims that blueberries or red wine or chocolate help you fight off cancer or prevent dementia would consequently appear to be largely pseudo-science, at this point. that doesn't mean they're not good for you, though; and, it doesn't even mean that the science underlying the premise that the flavonoids is unsound. what it means is that you're not getting substantive levels of these chemicals from any of these foods in a way that you can actually absorb and use. the only ambiguity is that it's not totally clear if the glycoside metabolites may have some fleeting benefit that we don't currently understand, before we piss them out (despite it appearing to be unlikely). but, your body doesn't accept the flavonoids the way it accepts the carotenoids, either, so there's less of a reason to think there's an evolutionary process at work. one thing i'll want to see is what foods have a higher aglycone:glycoside ratio, and if i find something i may want to try it, but it's not clear to me how widely studied this is, and it seems like the assumption is that you get the two of them together in some unclear mix, where the glycoside almost always dominates (due to the poor stability of the aglycones).
that said,
1) i currently eat a daily amount of blueberries, raspberries and strawberries that, together, seems to be maximizing anthocyanidin intake. elderberries have more, but they're poisonous (they appear to be metabolized by your body as cyanide. see the connection?). there's not any good reason for me to cut any of that out of my fruit bowl, right now. there are no dietary requirements, but i couldn't imagine getting more than i already do. they don't seem to be harmful...
2) the only significant sources of flavon-3-ol seems to be chocolate, which i get in my coffee, and apples, which i drink in the form of juice. i'm otherwise not likely to consume any of these things. and, again - strawberries, blueberries, raspberries & cherries (all in my diet) are a minimal source. but, these chemicals are also said to build muscle, and i may even want to avoid them. thankfully, we apparently basically can't absorb them at all.
3) the highest source of flavonols appears to be kale, which i'm probably going to be integrating, anyways. blueberries & broccoli round it out. again - these are poorly absorbed antioxidants.
4) usable flavones only appear to be available in spices. salad, maybe.
5) flavanones only appear to be available in citrus fruits. should i get some lemon in my salad? sounds yummy.
6) about the only way to get isoflavones is via soy, which is a key part of my diet. i could maybe put some bacon bits in the salad. they're cheap, but the omega-6 is a little daunting. we'll see how i feel about that, and how it adds up. isoflavones are, of course, also estrogenic.
so, if i did nothing, i'd be getting tons of flavonoids, as it is.
and, i think berries are still a good gamble in trying to get your cancer risk down.
what i'm going to do is to go ahead and list them (except the flavon-3-ols, which it would appear i don't want much of, anyway) and try to figure out how much i'm getting, without really thinking about it too much further.
but, i am going to read through this pile of articles i've got in my tabs, too, and i'll let you know if anything interesting comes up.
so, here's the list - and we'll see how much of each one i'm getting, whether it really matters, or not:
anthocyanidins:
1) pelargonidin
2) delphinidin
3) cyanidin
4) malvinidin
5) peonidin
6) petunidin
7) rosinidin
flavonols:
1) isorhamnetin
2) kaempferol
3) myricetin
4) quercetin
5) fisetin
6) kaempferide
flavones:
1) luteolin
2) apigenin
3) techtochrysin
4) baicalein (to avoid!)
5) norwogonin
6) wogonin
7) nobiletin
flavanones:
1) eriodictyol
2) hesperetin
3) naringenin
4) hesperidin
5) isosakuranetin
6) pinocembrin
7) sterubin
isoflavones:
1) daidzein
2) genistein
3) glycitein
4) biochanin A
5) formononetin
i can't find any actual science telling me what they're supposed to do; we can barely absorb them, we don't seem to need them for anything, and while eating berries seems to be correlated with healthiness, it's not clear if the flavonoids have anything to do with it. there's lots of other reasons why strawberries are good for you.
so, while these chemicals are antioxidants, your body doesn't seem to use them that way and claims that blueberries or red wine or chocolate help you fight off cancer or prevent dementia would consequently appear to be largely pseudo-science, at this point. that doesn't mean they're not good for you, though; and, it doesn't even mean that the science underlying the premise that the flavonoids is unsound. what it means is that you're not getting substantive levels of these chemicals from any of these foods in a way that you can actually absorb and use. the only ambiguity is that it's not totally clear if the glycoside metabolites may have some fleeting benefit that we don't currently understand, before we piss them out (despite it appearing to be unlikely). but, your body doesn't accept the flavonoids the way it accepts the carotenoids, either, so there's less of a reason to think there's an evolutionary process at work. one thing i'll want to see is what foods have a higher aglycone:glycoside ratio, and if i find something i may want to try it, but it's not clear to me how widely studied this is, and it seems like the assumption is that you get the two of them together in some unclear mix, where the glycoside almost always dominates (due to the poor stability of the aglycones).
that said,
1) i currently eat a daily amount of blueberries, raspberries and strawberries that, together, seems to be maximizing anthocyanidin intake. elderberries have more, but they're poisonous (they appear to be metabolized by your body as cyanide. see the connection?). there's not any good reason for me to cut any of that out of my fruit bowl, right now. there are no dietary requirements, but i couldn't imagine getting more than i already do. they don't seem to be harmful...
2) the only significant sources of flavon-3-ol seems to be chocolate, which i get in my coffee, and apples, which i drink in the form of juice. i'm otherwise not likely to consume any of these things. and, again - strawberries, blueberries, raspberries & cherries (all in my diet) are a minimal source. but, these chemicals are also said to build muscle, and i may even want to avoid them. thankfully, we apparently basically can't absorb them at all.
3) the highest source of flavonols appears to be kale, which i'm probably going to be integrating, anyways. blueberries & broccoli round it out. again - these are poorly absorbed antioxidants.
4) usable flavones only appear to be available in spices. salad, maybe.
5) flavanones only appear to be available in citrus fruits. should i get some lemon in my salad? sounds yummy.
6) about the only way to get isoflavones is via soy, which is a key part of my diet. i could maybe put some bacon bits in the salad. they're cheap, but the omega-6 is a little daunting. we'll see how i feel about that, and how it adds up. isoflavones are, of course, also estrogenic.
so, if i did nothing, i'd be getting tons of flavonoids, as it is.
and, i think berries are still a good gamble in trying to get your cancer risk down.
what i'm going to do is to go ahead and list them (except the flavon-3-ols, which it would appear i don't want much of, anyway) and try to figure out how much i'm getting, without really thinking about it too much further.
but, i am going to read through this pile of articles i've got in my tabs, too, and i'll let you know if anything interesting comes up.
so, here's the list - and we'll see how much of each one i'm getting, whether it really matters, or not:
anthocyanidins:
1) pelargonidin
2) delphinidin
3) cyanidin
4) malvinidin
5) peonidin
6) petunidin
7) rosinidin
flavonols:
1) isorhamnetin
2) kaempferol
3) myricetin
4) quercetin
5) fisetin
6) kaempferide
flavones:
1) luteolin
2) apigenin
3) techtochrysin
4) baicalein (to avoid!)
5) norwogonin
6) wogonin
7) nobiletin
flavanones:
1) eriodictyol
2) hesperetin
3) naringenin
4) hesperidin
5) isosakuranetin
6) pinocembrin
7) sterubin
isoflavones:
1) daidzein
2) genistein
3) glycitein
4) biochanin A
5) formononetin
at
22:19
science is about the method underlying it.
it's just as ignorant to write it off without testing it as it is to use it without any evidentiary basis.
show me the study - i'm agnostic until you do. skeptical, maybe. but, agnostic...
it's just as ignorant to write it off without testing it as it is to use it without any evidentiary basis.
show me the study - i'm agnostic until you do. skeptical, maybe. but, agnostic...
at
21:48
just to put this down, clearly.
what do i think about "herbal medicine"?
well, what does the science say? herbal medicine that works is called medicine. herbal medicine that doesn't work is called a placebo. and, herbal medicine that hasn't been tested is unknown.
so, i don't want to make broad comments about it; if people have been using some root for some reason for centuries, there may very well be good reasons for it. fine. but, show me the study.
and, that's really the right answer.
show me the study!
sure, it might work - i won't write it off, a priori. there's no reason to. but,
show me the study!
what do i think about "herbal medicine"?
well, what does the science say? herbal medicine that works is called medicine. herbal medicine that doesn't work is called a placebo. and, herbal medicine that hasn't been tested is unknown.
so, i don't want to make broad comments about it; if people have been using some root for some reason for centuries, there may very well be good reasons for it. fine. but, show me the study.
and, that's really the right answer.
show me the study!
sure, it might work - i won't write it off, a priori. there's no reason to. but,
show me the study!
at
21:44
so, i had a little talk with my landlord, who decided he wanted to get a rent increase in before they froze it. status: denied.
well, let's deal with the smoke, first, huh?
i may be his sole source of income right now - well, except his pay check with the police, of course.
he hasn't raised rent since i moved in in oct, 2018. i know this place was previously occupied, because there cans of paint from the previous tenant - and because he told me as much. this region, like so many others, went through a wave of italian immigration, so this place seems to have been built with a kitchen in the basement. that's really what i inherited, although the landlord explained that this section was separated out to house an elderly relative, at one point. likely story.
so, i'm paying what i signed up for; he could have raised the rent by the legal amount, pegged to cpi, which was 2.2%, at any time since october, 2019.
i wondered why he didn't...but he didn't...
the legalities are that they announce a maximum rent increase in june, based on the cpi of the previous year and that comes into effect in january of the next year until the end of the calendar date. further, you need to give 90 days notice. that means that the 2.2% (a very high number, relative to recent years) kicked in on january 1st and expires on dec 31st. as today is sept 11, and he requires 90 days notice, he'd have to date the increase to jan 1, 2021.
but, that's past the end of the calendar date, unfortunately.
denied.
the weirdness stems from the fact that they didn't announce a rent increase number this year, due to "instability".
instability, huh? i guess that's newspeak for deflation.
the cpi last year was 2.2% - an unusually high number. but, the cpi this year is -0.3%.
so, dougy is bringing in a rent freeze - it's for the people!
right. it's deflation, guys.
now, i suppose that they could revamp the legislation between now and then, which would probably not be in anybody's interests. but, if they don't, the fact that they didn't announce it doesn't change the reality of deflation in front of us.
and, are we going to have inflation over the next year? two years?
the rent freeze could last a long time - not because of an order by doug ford, but because we may be in for several years of deflation.
well, let's deal with the smoke, first, huh?
i may be his sole source of income right now - well, except his pay check with the police, of course.
he hasn't raised rent since i moved in in oct, 2018. i know this place was previously occupied, because there cans of paint from the previous tenant - and because he told me as much. this region, like so many others, went through a wave of italian immigration, so this place seems to have been built with a kitchen in the basement. that's really what i inherited, although the landlord explained that this section was separated out to house an elderly relative, at one point. likely story.
so, i'm paying what i signed up for; he could have raised the rent by the legal amount, pegged to cpi, which was 2.2%, at any time since october, 2019.
i wondered why he didn't...but he didn't...
the legalities are that they announce a maximum rent increase in june, based on the cpi of the previous year and that comes into effect in january of the next year until the end of the calendar date. further, you need to give 90 days notice. that means that the 2.2% (a very high number, relative to recent years) kicked in on january 1st and expires on dec 31st. as today is sept 11, and he requires 90 days notice, he'd have to date the increase to jan 1, 2021.
but, that's past the end of the calendar date, unfortunately.
denied.
the weirdness stems from the fact that they didn't announce a rent increase number this year, due to "instability".
instability, huh? i guess that's newspeak for deflation.
the cpi last year was 2.2% - an unusually high number. but, the cpi this year is -0.3%.
so, dougy is bringing in a rent freeze - it's for the people!
right. it's deflation, guys.
now, i suppose that they could revamp the legislation between now and then, which would probably not be in anybody's interests. but, if they don't, the fact that they didn't announce it doesn't change the reality of deflation in front of us.
and, are we going to have inflation over the next year? two years?
the rent freeze could last a long time - not because of an order by doug ford, but because we may be in for several years of deflation.
at
16:50
hi.
i received your message in response to my previous fax, and i've tried to reach your office a few times by phone with no answer. i call out using google voice and it seems to have specific routing issues that i don't understand - sometimes it works great, sometimes it just rings. this is why i prefer communication over email: death.to.koalas@gmail.com
i think dr e may be the doctor i saw in 2017. i don't fully recall. if so, he said he'd only do this for prostate cancer patients. perhaps he may reconsider - as i'm going to eventually end up there with prostate cancer if i don't get these things taken out, anyways.
i understand that dr. e would require a referral before he can schedule an appointment. but, what i'm trying to determine is what the value of asking to see dr. e is. would dr. e consider a voluntary orchidectomy for a trans person, if they have a referral and funding? or would he reject the premise offhand? see, i'm trying to avoid having to go to toronto. if i can do it here, it'll take twenty minutes and i can take a cab home. i don't see any good reason why i should be forced to go out of town for this.
the thing is that if dr ============= gives you the referral, and i eventually see dr e six months from now, and he refuses for some ideological reason, then i've just wasted six months of my life.
i cannot ask dr =========== to send out 50 referrals and hope one comes back.
so, i am doing the research upfront.
would dr. e consider this? if so, i'd like to see him and will inform dr. =============. if he won't, i won't waste my time or yours - i'll look elsewhere. but, please understand the paucity of my options.
you can leave me a message at the number you called before, or open a discussion over email. but, what i'm trying to figure out is if this is a valid path, or if i need to call somebody else.
jessica
at
13:40
diamonds have some use in optics and lasers, but we don't need heaps of them.
it's the kind of economic activity that just simply shouldn't exist.
https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/032615/how-can-marginal-utility-explain-diamondwater-paradox.asp
it's the kind of economic activity that just simply shouldn't exist.
https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/032615/how-can-marginal-utility-explain-diamondwater-paradox.asp
at
13:04
the sad reality with mining diamonds is that it's just another form of carbon extraction.
i'd rather mine graphene. it's far more useful.
and, to the extent that we are mining diamonds, it should be to convert them into graphene.
i'd rather mine graphene. it's far more useful.
and, to the extent that we are mining diamonds, it should be to convert them into graphene.
at
13:01
there's certain minerals that humans need, but we neither need gold nor diamonds.
this is just a net detriment to the environment, and i'd argue it shouldn't exist at all.
https://www.sudbury.com/local-news/trudeau-ford-to-attend-groundbreaking-ceremony-for-gogama-mine-this-morning-2704436
this is just a net detriment to the environment, and i'd argue it shouldn't exist at all.
https://www.sudbury.com/local-news/trudeau-ford-to-attend-groundbreaking-ceremony-for-gogama-mine-this-morning-2704436
at
13:00
"but we're winning. and they're losing."
it doesn't matter who wins or loses. ok?
i want to live in a free society where people are allowed to make their own choices, not one where governments make choices for people, in order to "win".
it doesn't matter who wins or loses. ok?
i want to live in a free society where people are allowed to make their own choices, not one where governments make choices for people, in order to "win".
at
12:53
you can tell me to escape to america.
and, i might, in the end.
but, you have to tear down the wall, first.
tear down that wall!
and, i might, in the end.
but, you have to tear down the wall, first.
tear down that wall!
at
12:51
i mean, it's clear that our governments are going to continue to take the most conservative response possible. sadly. the canada i grew up in and used to love doesn't exist any more. we've become a very right-wing society, a gerontocracy and, increasingly, an authoritarian religious totalitarian state.
we are gleefully embracing fascism at the most flimsy excuse possible.
and, i'm heartbroken by it.
it's up to us, now, to participate or not.
if you keep getting tested every time you sneeze, if you participate in their tracing, if you allow them to build these datasets, we will be living through this fascist nightmare for another two or three years, potentially.
your cerb has run out. ei is half as much.
it's just a sneeze; ignore it, stop playing into it.
we are gleefully embracing fascism at the most flimsy excuse possible.
and, i'm heartbroken by it.
it's up to us, now, to participate or not.
if you keep getting tested every time you sneeze, if you participate in their tracing, if you allow them to build these datasets, we will be living through this fascist nightmare for another two or three years, potentially.
your cerb has run out. ei is half as much.
it's just a sneeze; ignore it, stop playing into it.
at
12:13
the flip side is this: if you're young, stop getting tested. it's an easily defeatable virus. you're fucking everything up.
at
12:08
my position is clear enough - the state needs to back off and let the virus spread amongst young people.
the elderly have been given full warning, and then some. they know the risks. it's their choice to stay in where it's safe or go out where it's not; it's their choice to expose themselves to their family, or ask them to stay away.
i have no interest, whatsoever, in continuing to live a cloistered life to "flatten the curve".
i don't care. i want my life back.
https://torontosun.com/news/provincial/ontario-covid-cases-top-200-67-are-people-under-40
the elderly have been given full warning, and then some. they know the risks. it's their choice to stay in where it's safe or go out where it's not; it's their choice to expose themselves to their family, or ask them to stay away.
i have no interest, whatsoever, in continuing to live a cloistered life to "flatten the curve".
i don't care. i want my life back.
https://torontosun.com/news/provincial/ontario-covid-cases-top-200-67-are-people-under-40
at
12:04
get your head around this.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/may/30/topsoil-farming-agriculture-food-toxic-america
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/may/30/topsoil-farming-agriculture-food-toxic-america
at
06:33
why hydro?
because we've ruined the ground. and, it's an upcoming crisis that we're maybe not aware of.
we will need to eventually return the nutrients to the soil, but it could take centuries to rebuild.
in the mean time, hooking it up to their roots is the most efficient approach - and that is something you could get to scale, if you can build, vertically, enough.
nobody's talking about this.
because we've ruined the ground. and, it's an upcoming crisis that we're maybe not aware of.
we will need to eventually return the nutrients to the soil, but it could take centuries to rebuild.
in the mean time, hooking it up to their roots is the most efficient approach - and that is something you could get to scale, if you can build, vertically, enough.
nobody's talking about this.
at
06:24
i do need to push back a little on the idea that you can push organic agriculture to scale.
you can't. we dump huge amounts of shit into the soil because we've leeched it of growing power. that's a hard problem that requires some careful thinking - hydroponics, greenhouses and a serious look at the growth rate.
and, storage is a problem, if you don't use a ton of hydro.
https://theanalysis.news/interviews/biden-not-phasing-out-fossil-fuel-relies-on-carbon-capture-robert-pollin/
you can't. we dump huge amounts of shit into the soil because we've leeched it of growing power. that's a hard problem that requires some careful thinking - hydroponics, greenhouses and a serious look at the growth rate.
and, storage is a problem, if you don't use a ton of hydro.
https://theanalysis.news/interviews/biden-not-phasing-out-fossil-fuel-relies-on-carbon-capture-robert-pollin/
at
06:10
right.
so, the plan is the pretend you're going to spend a zilion dollars implementing a technology that doesn't exist in order to bring the jobs back.
that's not a plan, at all. that's just cynical politicking.
that's the audacity of empty hope.
https://theanalysis.news/interviews/biden-not-phasing-out-fossil-fuel-relies-on-carbon-capture-robert-pollin/
so, the plan is the pretend you're going to spend a zilion dollars implementing a technology that doesn't exist in order to bring the jobs back.
that's not a plan, at all. that's just cynical politicking.
that's the audacity of empty hope.
https://theanalysis.news/interviews/biden-not-phasing-out-fossil-fuel-relies-on-carbon-capture-robert-pollin/
at
05:59
and, here's a twist: the glucosides appear to be anti-oxidants, but the aglycones of the same flavonoids may actually be mutagenic.
:|.
maybe it's best that this be left alone, then.
i'm going to get that omelette and clean up the train of thought.
:|.
maybe it's best that this be left alone, then.
i'm going to get that omelette and clean up the train of thought.
at
05:03
to be clear: my view is that if your body can't absorb this, it doesn't really want it.
i'm not taking flavonoid pills....
i'm not taking flavonoid pills....
at
04:58
ok, i found a detailed walkthrough of flavonoid metabolism that is not the answer i want but is a big step towards finding it.
i had to log in through facebook to download it so i can't send you the link. you can search this:
REVIEW ARTICLE
Flavonoid interactions during digestion, absorption, distribution and
metabolism: a sequential structure–activity/property relationship-based
approach in the study of bioavailability and bioactivity
Gerard Bryan Gonzales, Guy Smagghe, Charlotte Grootaert, Moises Zotti, Katleen Raes, and John Van Camp
i expect that this will only help me understand why i can't absorb them when they're attached to a sugar, rather than help me get around the issue.
but, it may give me some clues.
i'm making an omelette, first, and i'll get back to it when i'm done.
i had to log in through facebook to download it so i can't send you the link. you can search this:
REVIEW ARTICLE
Flavonoid interactions during digestion, absorption, distribution and
metabolism: a sequential structure–activity/property relationship-based
approach in the study of bioavailability and bioactivity
Gerard Bryan Gonzales, Guy Smagghe, Charlotte Grootaert, Moises Zotti, Katleen Raes, and John Van Camp
i expect that this will only help me understand why i can't absorb them when they're attached to a sugar, rather than help me get around the issue.
but, it may give me some clues.
i'm making an omelette, first, and i'll get back to it when i'm done.
at
04:50
no.
wait.
i'm hungry.
that article wasn't about naturally occurring aglycone flavonoids, it was about hydrolyed extracts, which i'm not fucking with.
so, i'm officially giving up on flavonoids - you just can't absorb them.
wait.
i'm hungry.
that article wasn't about naturally occurring aglycone flavonoids, it was about hydrolyed extracts, which i'm not fucking with.
so, i'm officially giving up on flavonoids - you just can't absorb them.
at
04:36
so, there's six types of flavonoids.
& there's in turn six of the first type, anthocyanidins:
1) cyanidin
2) delphinidin
3) malvidin
4) pelargonidin
5) peonidin
6) petunidin
when they did the studies on rats, they absorbed the complex molecule and metabolized it just fine. but, when they did it with humans, we just sucked the sugar out and discarded the anti-oxidant. these chemicals lose their id when you attach them to a sugar molecule, and freud just fell off his chair.
the absorption of anthocyanins requires either a specific active transport mechanism, to transport glycosides across the intestine wall, or they need to be hydrolyzed to the aglycone in the small intestine through the action of β-glucosidase, β-glucuronidase, and α-rhamnosidase (Manach and others 2005; Kay 2006).
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/1541-4337.12024
guess rats are smarter than us.
how do you get them without the sugar attached to them, and without fermenting the fruit?
vegetables, maybe? eggplant? nope - sugar there, too. apparently, the flavonoid breaks down easily without the sugar, so there's not really a way out.
hrmmn.
these molecules are labelled as "potent antioxidants", and i don't have a reason to doubt the truth of it. but, they don't seem to do anything else, and if you can't absorb them then you can't absorb them. that's a major strike against blueberries.
according to the following article, i have eight options for sugar-free flavonoids.
https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007%2F978-1-4615-4913-0_11
1) pelargonidin
2) delphinidin
3) cyanidin
4) luteolin
5) apigenin
6) kaempferol
7) quercetin
8) myricetin
cross-referencing with the oregon page (https://lpi.oregonstate.edu/mic/dietary-factors/phytochemicals/flavonoids), i can also add:
9) eriodictyol
10) hesperetin
11) naringenin
12) daidzein
13) genistein
14) glycitein
15) biochanin A
16) formononetin
...as potentially biovailable flavanones and isoflavones.
many of these may not be available in any food in a high enough dosage to meaningfully absorb. so, this list may get pruned down.
*ducks*
but, i'm going to list them anyways and get back to them later.
& there's in turn six of the first type, anthocyanidins:
1) cyanidin
2) delphinidin
3) malvidin
4) pelargonidin
5) peonidin
6) petunidin
when they did the studies on rats, they absorbed the complex molecule and metabolized it just fine. but, when they did it with humans, we just sucked the sugar out and discarded the anti-oxidant. these chemicals lose their id when you attach them to a sugar molecule, and freud just fell off his chair.
the absorption of anthocyanins requires either a specific active transport mechanism, to transport glycosides across the intestine wall, or they need to be hydrolyzed to the aglycone in the small intestine through the action of β-glucosidase, β-glucuronidase, and α-rhamnosidase (Manach and others 2005; Kay 2006).
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/1541-4337.12024
guess rats are smarter than us.
how do you get them without the sugar attached to them, and without fermenting the fruit?
vegetables, maybe? eggplant? nope - sugar there, too. apparently, the flavonoid breaks down easily without the sugar, so there's not really a way out.
hrmmn.
these molecules are labelled as "potent antioxidants", and i don't have a reason to doubt the truth of it. but, they don't seem to do anything else, and if you can't absorb them then you can't absorb them. that's a major strike against blueberries.
at
04:24
it's bad news for flavonoids, it seems. they don't get absorbed...
apparently, the problem is that flavonoids tend to come attached to glucose molecules, and the body seems to ignore them in favour of the sugar. so, while you can absorb the red & green pigments, you seem to mostly piss the purple ones out.
the way around this is to find purple pigments that aren't attached to sugar molecules. that would appear to mostly leave teas, soy and berries (including grapes) as the digestible choices, but only some of the options are digestible. does converting the sugar into alcohol release the flavonoid? is that it?
let me see what the exact molecules you can digest are.
apparently, the problem is that flavonoids tend to come attached to glucose molecules, and the body seems to ignore them in favour of the sugar. so, while you can absorb the red & green pigments, you seem to mostly piss the purple ones out.
the way around this is to find purple pigments that aren't attached to sugar molecules. that would appear to mostly leave teas, soy and berries (including grapes) as the digestible choices, but only some of the options are digestible. does converting the sugar into alcohol release the flavonoid? is that it?
let me see what the exact molecules you can digest are.
at
02:57
so, it seems like carotenoids are worth it as anti-oxidants - we can't make them ourselves, we know we can absorb them into the blood and they seem to be doing something.
there's apparently even active transport for some of them, indicating that your body is expecting them and says "thanks, yoink" when they get in there. that in itself is strong evidence you should be seeking them out, even if we're not 100% sure what they're doing. that's not an accident; there's some evolutionary process, there.
what's next?
an unintended consequence of moving from green peppers to red peppers is that i lost a key source of chlorophyll. what else is green? kiwis, i guess? a quick google search says yes, but that's another good reason to bring in something like broccoli, which is very green.
the fact that you basically can't absorb curcumin tells me your body doesn't want it.
we've been through red/orange, green and yellow. purple's next. so, what about flavonoids, then? what can i actually absorb? let's figure that out...
there's apparently even active transport for some of them, indicating that your body is expecting them and says "thanks, yoink" when they get in there. that in itself is strong evidence you should be seeking them out, even if we're not 100% sure what they're doing. that's not an accident; there's some evolutionary process, there.
what's next?
an unintended consequence of moving from green peppers to red peppers is that i lost a key source of chlorophyll. what else is green? kiwis, i guess? a quick google search says yes, but that's another good reason to bring in something like broccoli, which is very green.
the fact that you basically can't absorb curcumin tells me your body doesn't want it.
we've been through red/orange, green and yellow. purple's next. so, what about flavonoids, then? what can i actually absorb? let's figure that out...
at
02:15
obviously, i'm oversimplifying and being a little dramatic to make a point - with flair.
but, my point holds.
but, my point holds.
at
01:39
"you'd might as well just eat the grain..."
well.
the cow adds some value to it on it's way to you.
we talk about processed meat; but the meat, itself, is really just processed grain - fortified with goodness, but also loaded with byproducts.
well.
the cow adds some value to it on it's way to you.
we talk about processed meat; but the meat, itself, is really just processed grain - fortified with goodness, but also loaded with byproducts.
at
01:32
when you eat a cow for lunch, your body converts that cow into grain, and then does what it will with it.
the difference is in the vitamins, and other chemicals.
the difference is in the vitamins, and other chemicals.
at
01:30
what does your body do with fat, then?
it burns it. it's energy...
well, before we invented electricity, we used to use olive oil to make lamps. this is more intuitive than you think!
the amount of carbs i was eating in that pasta bowl over two or three days was still less than most people eat for breakfast. it was a boost, but not a big one. and, like i say - i couldn't fucking eat it, it was too much.
i'm adjusting, getting better, moving on.
it burns it. it's energy...
well, before we invented electricity, we used to use olive oil to make lamps. this is more intuitive than you think!
the amount of carbs i was eating in that pasta bowl over two or three days was still less than most people eat for breakfast. it was a boost, but not a big one. and, like i say - i couldn't fucking eat it, it was too much.
i'm adjusting, getting better, moving on.
at
01:18
eggs have a ridiculous nutritional profile.
they're probably the most healthy food on the planet.
they're probably the most healthy food on the planet.
at
01:07
it's like eggs.
people think that, because eggs are high in cholesterol, they're bad for your heart.
but, your body breaks down ingested cholesterol, it doesn't absorb it. so, that idea is based on a bad understanding of how your metabolism works.
if you're concerned about cholesterol, you want to reduce the amount of carbs that you eat, not the amount of cholesterol you eat.
you also want to keep the saturated fats down, a bit, but that seems to be less important.
the eggs are fine. what's killing you is the toast.
people think that, because eggs are high in cholesterol, they're bad for your heart.
but, your body breaks down ingested cholesterol, it doesn't absorb it. so, that idea is based on a bad understanding of how your metabolism works.
if you're concerned about cholesterol, you want to reduce the amount of carbs that you eat, not the amount of cholesterol you eat.
you also want to keep the saturated fats down, a bit, but that seems to be less important.
the eggs are fine. what's killing you is the toast.
at
01:05
so, no - i'm not particularly concerned about consuming protein.
besides - it's carbs that build muscle, not protein. well, technically, your body converts carbs into fat, and you convert it into protein.
eating protein will not help you build muscle at all. sorry.
besides - it's carbs that build muscle, not protein. well, technically, your body converts carbs into fat, and you convert it into protein.
eating protein will not help you build muscle at all. sorry.
at
01:03
so, i think this is what we've got:
carotenoids (not including pro-vitamin a)
1) lutein
2) zeaxanthin
3) lycopene
4) phytofluene
5) phytoene
6) astaxanthin
7) capsanthin
8) canthaxanthin
9) cryptoxanthin
that appears to be the totality of what we can actually absorb.
it also seems like it's a good idea to get a little fat with your carotenoids, so if i'm doing this in the salad rather than egg, the caesar/hemp combo sounds like a good approach, to maximize absorption. i was previously eating the tomatoes/peppers mix with (1) omelettes, (2) pasta (cheese & caesar) and, way back, with mayo. that's an interesting twist: the mayo actually helps absorb the vitamins in the tomatoes. huh. wanna think twice about your low fat salad dressing? i'm not thinking twice about my high fat dressing, as it's the primary actual part of my diet....
High carotenoid intake, particularly β-carotene canthaxanthin may result in carotenodermia.[64]
i turned orange when i was a baby, because my mom fed me too much of the same kind of baby food; i actually think it was squash. i just ate the stuff more readily, apparently. you'd have to ask her, my memory is a little blurry, under two years...
1) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10942910601045271#
2) https://academic.oup.com/jn/article/132/3/531S/4687227
3) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6566388/
4) https://lpi.oregonstate.edu/mic/dietary-factors/phytochemicals/carotenoids
so, that's my first update to the list i posted previously.
some of those will come with guidelines and some of them won't. i think i should get all of them in the salad bowl i had decided on, anyways. it's just a question of actually understanding what i'm eating.
carotenoids (not including pro-vitamin a)
1) lutein
2) zeaxanthin
3) lycopene
4) phytofluene
5) phytoene
6) astaxanthin
7) capsanthin
8) canthaxanthin
9) cryptoxanthin
that appears to be the totality of what we can actually absorb.
it also seems like it's a good idea to get a little fat with your carotenoids, so if i'm doing this in the salad rather than egg, the caesar/hemp combo sounds like a good approach, to maximize absorption. i was previously eating the tomatoes/peppers mix with (1) omelettes, (2) pasta (cheese & caesar) and, way back, with mayo. that's an interesting twist: the mayo actually helps absorb the vitamins in the tomatoes. huh. wanna think twice about your low fat salad dressing? i'm not thinking twice about my high fat dressing, as it's the primary actual part of my diet....
High carotenoid intake, particularly β-carotene canthaxanthin may result in carotenodermia.[64]
i turned orange when i was a baby, because my mom fed me too much of the same kind of baby food; i actually think it was squash. i just ate the stuff more readily, apparently. you'd have to ask her, my memory is a little blurry, under two years...
1) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10942910601045271#
2) https://academic.oup.com/jn/article/132/3/531S/4687227
3) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6566388/
4) https://lpi.oregonstate.edu/mic/dietary-factors/phytochemicals/carotenoids
so, that's my first update to the list i posted previously.
some of those will come with guidelines and some of them won't. i think i should get all of them in the salad bowl i had decided on, anyways. it's just a question of actually understanding what i'm eating.
at
01:00
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