well, what do you expect to happen?

i'm 38 years old, and have been in gender transition since i was 19 because i don't have a financial or medical path to get through it. i'm stuck in suspended animation, and probably will be until i die.

any arrested development that set in when i was a teenager (which was already substantial at 19, given that i lost five years of female development as a teen) has just maintained itself in stasis. i never really got through puberty; i neither developed into a male, nor a female. i've been in a holding pattern...

you shouldn't expect anything other than what i'm saying, because i haven't had the opportunity to mature. when a person has what are essentially the sexual experiences of a pre-teen girl, namely nothing more than unrealized fantasies that are assumed will happen one day, the behaviour is going to align with the experience.

i wouldn't even know what to do.