so, what have i been doing the last two weeks, anyways?

the last update was july 30th. i spent the first part of that week trying to watch vlogs and edit, but i lost myself in a variety of things, including legal wrangling. i picked up a bicycle on the 3rd in detroit for $35 usd ($45 cad) and then lost the weekend having fun; i was at least able to get through the editing over the course of last week, including necessary editing for the court process. i picked up a new bicycle lock for $30, as well. i finished this friday morning, and went out friday night; i'm in fact actually still a little bit oozy, but i feel i'll be back to full strength after the next sleep.

i need to spend the day getting things back in motion, but i should be able to get back to the living room makeover within a day or two, which is going to mean buying a lot of wood and building the cd shelves.

updated total:
airwalk shoes (payless): $33
bicycle repair (city cyclery): $23
bicycle lock: ($30)
3x40 gb ide hds (kijiji):  $10
dell ultrasharp 1703 fp with dvi cables (kijiji): $20
two lamps, one table and one floor [kijiji]: $15
tape holders [kijiji]: $15
bicycle for detroit [craig's list]: $45 [$35 usd]
 2x500 gb sshd laptop drives (best buy): $2x82
2 tb internal drive (best buy): $104
100 dvd-rs [best buy]: $30
50 bd-rs [best buy]: $45
2x2 gb laptop ram (amazon.ca): $2x15 + shipping, $47
8 gb sd ram for mp3 player (amazon.ca): $13
2 tb external drive (amazon.ca) : $123
50 cd-rs [amazon.ca]: $30
ps/2 to usb connector [amazon.ca]: $5
intel core i3-4710 [amazon.ca]: $243
atx mid tower [amazon.ca] - $52
asus p9d ws [amazon.ca]: $360
2x8 gb ddr3-1600 ram [amazon.ca]: $150
arctic silver [amazon.ca]: $11 $0
450 joule surge protector (amazon.ca): $9
600 watt psu (amazon.ca): $80
700 joule surge protector (amazon.ca): $10
laptop battery (ebay): $26
2x4 gb laptop ram (ebay): $2x33
ip68 phone (ebay): $128
m-audio audiophile 2496 (ebay) [used]: $60
250 gb ssd drive (newegg.ca): $135
200 jewel cases (newegg.ca): $117
bathroom supplies (food basics, walmart, loblaws, shopper's): $296
ps/2 keyboard (axxon computer corporation, windsor): $23
usb mouse (walmart): $15
universal battery charger + aaa batteries (canadian tire): $54
stereo table: $34  (antique store)
cassette deck: $23 (antique store)
bookcase for bathroom supplies: $30 (antique store)
==================
2360.37

"they made you sleep outside?"

to begin with, i didn't sleep.

but, actually, they didn't - they asked me several times to come in, and then they got a blanket for me, and tried to get me to drink water (which i didn't want to drink, because it was making me vomit). they told me point blank to come in and sleep inside. repeatedly. if anything, they seemed a little insulted that i wouldn't come in.

given my difficulties speaking at the time, i may have failed in trying to explain that i was going to get a coffee as soon as i could get up. but, i thought that was going to be before 7:00. my first bus back on saturday mornings is 5:55, so if i was going to get a coffee and sip on it for a bit, i would have wanted to leave around 5:00, or even a bit before, depending on when the night quieted down. they were trying to pull me inside well before that, and for quite a while at that. it just didn't make sense for me to go in and sleep at 3:30 when i was planning on leaving as soon as my body worked the toxins out. and, i didn't want to fall asleep there and miss my bus, because i left my 8:00 meds at home.

on top of that, i would have likely had to have been lifted in. i needed more than an arm. i'm not joking - i couldn't walk. i tend to get insular in these situations, and refuse to move unless somebody that i know and trust offers a hand. as kind as these strangers were, i have a lot of faith in the persistence of gravity and am pretty much always going to insist on getting up on my own, which means not getting up at all until i can.

in hindsight, i'm glad they got that blanket - i guess they realized i wasn't getting up as soon as i thought. but, i wasn't outside due to lack of trying to get me in; i just really wasn't able to get up, and consequently wasn't willing to be moved. further, if i was able to get up at all, i would have left.

i think i'm ok, now.

full effects were more than 30 hours.

for the record, my alcohol intake for the night was one beer around 10:00 followed by a shot of vodka, and then three and a half rockstar vodkas between 11:00 and 3:00. three and half because somebody took the last one away (i didn't argue). i drank more than half of it. so, i opened around 11:00, 12:00, 1:00 and 2:00. roughly. that's by no means excessive and well in my "can easily handle" range.

those rockstar vodkas have a mixture of energy drink components, including high caffeine levels, and are 7% vodka. i drink them because they keep me awake. while they've never passed me out, the caffeine has kept me up more than once; if anything, the caffeine might have delayed the onset of the thc.

there's no ambiguity, here. yes: there may have been an interaction in my stomach. so, if i wasn't drinking, i may not have vomited. but, the paralysis i was in was about the brownies. don't question that, it's true.

i prefer coffee over cocaine. and, in the future, i think i'll just stick to smoking it.

is there something to that idea, though?

is what's happening in places like virginia ultimately deconstructed into a kind of schism on the christian right, which is being torn between it's history and it's present? and, is the entire conflict really ultimately so insulated from the dominant culture as to be more or less irrelevant?

i would guess that a very large percentage of people probably share my apprehension in not really wanting to take a side in a conflict between nazis and christians, which is what appears to be actually happening on the ground, rather than the kind of imagined narrative on the alt-right about fighting jews and communists. the christian groups seem to be outnumbering the socialist groups by a substantial factor.

it's legitimately hard to imagine what the christian right is going to look like in 20 years if it doesn't open it's arms to hispanics and blacks. for all the concern about rising fascism, is there maybe even something valid in the idea that the culture of white christian dominance is actually in the throes of it's last dying gasps, and that it's about to be overtaken on the right by a coalition of conservative hispanics and conservative blacks, under the banner of a rejuvenated and pluralist christian right, as whites abandon religion for secular liberalism in an america-wide quiet revolution?

and, is there any real use in getting involved in a civil war on the right?

if i was there, i would insist that socialists do not protest with faith groups, but carry on separate protests. it wouldn't be hard to organize, either. but, i suspect i'd realize pretty quickly that this actually isn't about socialism at all, but about what christians want christianity to be.

again: i usually side with the aclu.

i'm a really strict ideological liberal on speech - but that actually doesn't imply a lack of oversight. ideological liberals should be holding to the harm principle, which was outlined by mill. and, i think there are good reasons to argue that some types of speech are harmful.

it's very careful, very delicate.

if an old man wants to walk down the street by himself and wave a flag as he holds to some delusional and scientifically debunked concept of race supremacy, is he actually harming anybody? probably not. but, if a militia wants to march down the street with guns and chant racist slogans, there's some serious harm being created, there.

what the aclu usually represents is something closer to the first scenario, and i'm usually going to side with them on it. the situation in virginia is getting dangerously close to the second situation. and, the organization should consequently ensure it's being properly judicious about what it's doing.

should this have been shut down ahead of time? it's a judgement call. but, some of what i've seen from these protests does get very close to incitement, and if that evidence did not exist before, it does now: there's a reason to shut future protests by this group down on the harm principle. and, there's perhaps a reason to charge some individuals with incitement, as well.

https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/8/12/16138326/aclu-charlottesville-protests-racism

i want to be clear.

if it's nazis vs. secular liberal democracy, i'll show up and fight back.

if it turns out to be nazis vs faith-groups, i'll let them kill each other off and go do something else, instead.

i've been apprehensive about trying to pick a side in these clashes, as i've considered both sides delusional - the antifascist groups are fighting imaginary nazis (that are probably actually mostly liberals), while the alt-right groups are fighting imaginary authoritarian communists (which actually sound like conservatives, if you go to talk to them). "hitler or stalin?" is a choice that millions of real people had to make in the 30s, and it's as shitty a choice now as it was then. as an anarchist, i'd want to fight the stalinists as much as i'd want to fight the nazis, but which side do you take in a struggle defined by competing strawmen? you just don't do that; instead, you take a step back and make misanthropic observations about the dystopic absurdity playing out in front of you.

but, these are actual nazis. and, all decent people need to unite to shut them down.

just, try and keep the counter-protests secular, please. you don't want to chase off allies by bogging things down with ritual. i've certainly avoided protests over this. it's just not the time to shamelessly promote your religious institution....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2017_Unite_the_Right_rally

aug 13 vlog, where i try to explain what happened the night before, and devolve into a discourse about squirrel evolution, in the context of a hominid extinction event.

btw...

i still think the best way to understand the trump presidency, and i mean holistically, is to watch a season of inspector gadget.

and, how long did the effects of that little bite of bownie last for?

i want to be clear: i just took a little piece. i knew to be careful, i just didn't have any reasonable metrics to use: i didn't know the strength, and i didn't know what i could handle, because i had no experience with it. i took what i thought was a small piece that i thought i could deal with.

i was able to move around 7:00. i tried to eat when i got home, but passed out around 11:00. i tried to get up around 21:00, and finished eating, but passed out again around 00:00. it's now 4:40 and i'm still feeling it behind my eyes.

again: it was just a little bite. and, i'm an old pro...

is there anything more segregated in the united states than christianity?

the most enduring legacy of slavery in the united states is actually the black church.