i don't think i've been drugged again with steroids, since i identified the hot sauce. something weird happened on the night of the 11th, but right now it doesn't seem like it was steroids. i'm suspicious that it might have been something else, like dopamine or noradrenaline. i also have elevated cortisol levels, and thought that was obvious, too, in addition to the elevated testosterone. i have from the very start suspected a drug of this nature, and only thought testosterone was involved later. i initially thought i was breathing in meth and then thought they were drugging me with mdma.

they may be drugging me with an evolving cocktail of drugs to get to a desired outcome. i might be the victim of some kind of nazi experiment.

i mentioned there was a weird issue on my face with ingrown vellus hairs. i do think this was triggered by the steroids, and i was having difficulty washing it off, but it wasn't accompanied by further or increased unwanted hair, it was just a complex of really brutal ingrowns i couldn't get out. it was very weird, as there was some kind of sticky substance being emitted from the ingrowns that was preventing any kind of soap from working and seemed similar to the sticky substance i couldn't get out of my hair, and which i think is testosterone in sweat.

i didn't have stomach hair, or prickly leg hair, or any of the other symptoms of being recently drugged. 

i ended up lathering my face over with salicylic acid three nights in a row and then taking a very long shower today, and it essentially burned my face off and took the ingrowns out with it, but now i need to heal. this is a complication of the previous drugging, not evidence of new drugging.

the evidence of new drugging is something i'd describe as a feeling of increased blood flow. i have not had this accompanied with any kind of discernible unwanted erection, except briefly while defecating. rather, i've woken up a couple of times since the 11th with what i might describe as noticing increased blood flow to the region while sleeping, and hearing people speaking to me in the process. this has left me flustered and agitated, because harassment is still harassment, even if it doesn't work. i want them to leave me alone. i'm sick and fucking tired of this. the more bothersome consequence is that i'm then experiencing something i believe is called persistent genital arousal disorder for about two hours after i wake up. i do not expect i'd be able to get any sort of erection while awake if i wanted to, if i tried, but the pgad is painful and annoying, nonetheless. it's this remnant tingling sensation that i want to go away and don't know how to get rid of. it passes a few hours after waking up.

there was the 30% priapism and 10 second erections that were clearly the result of being drugged. i woke up hard with the ten second erections, and that should be completely impossible, and the 30% priapism was some kind of viagra or something that didn't work but kept trying. what has been happening since the 11th is a two second experience that is described as experiencing some blood flow to the area as a result of the harassment, and generating pgad due to some other hormone (it might be the progesterone i'm taking myself, which is why i'm pausing) without creating anything i'd identify as any sort of discernible erection. it's maybe a 10% erection, at most, but numbers under 30% seem difficult to describe as an erection at all. it's noticeable blood flow generating annoying and painful arousal, but not generating any kind of male sexual response.

it's going to take a few more days to scrub the dead skin off of my face, and it's half my fault because i used the acid to burn the ingrowns off. i should be able to get out soon.

i only received one response to all of the ads i responded to, but it might be a good response.

i had previously tried to determine some connection between bowel movements, constipation and sexual arousal and couldn't find one. i tried again tonight and google returned an answer quite quickly.

there's a nerve called the pudendal nerve that's responsible for functions in the general area and a condition called pudendal nerve compression that may be caused by cycling. you can identify this with an mri.

i'm not there yet, and it would be an incomplete answer. i have already proved that i've been drugged, although i don't know by who and it's not entirely clear how. i am certain i'm being harassed while sleeping. however, i have been experiencing weird symptoms over the last few days that are not quite suggestive of having been drugged recently and seem a little bit unrealistic for lingering drugs remaining in my system. i have consistently tied these to my digestive symptom.

i don't think it's one or the other, i think it's both, but i'm holding off on the blood test, because neither answer seems to be quite right. i want to either get further proof i was drugged, perhaps in my foot, or i want a clean test.

in the future, if the government wants to immediately intervene in labour disputes, it should offer striking workers backpay or some other type of compensation as a condition to going back to work, made payable by the employer when an agreement is signed.

she would certainly be free to continue to post her opinions online in spaces that allow her to, just not as a public sector employee.

you can kind of have it one way or the other.

either the court treats it as a private sector issue, in which case it has no jurisdiction or the court treats it as a public sector issue, in which case the nurse needs to restrict herself from engaging in political activity online.

you can't have it both ways.

as a transgendered person, i don't really care about this person's opinion, and i don't feel threatened by their decision to expose their own ignorance in public. a correct free speech position is that you let the ignorant expose themselves, to their own detriment. i'm confident that her opinions are not going to help her in life. i'd be just as happy to essentially leave it at that, and ignore her.

however, this looks like a fairly complicated issue for the reason that the professional oversight body is actually a government agency. generally, government would avoid getting itself involved in a conflict like this, because the actual free speech and expression issue is the private sector body's ability to set professional standards. free speech, in context, belongs to both sides, and the woman would need to accept the consequences of her decision to run her mouth of. for government to intervene in any way would be to infringe the speech rights of one or both parties.

in this case, what the court is probably going to do is determine whether the superior court has any jurisdiction to intervene in the decisions made by the body and cite vavilov to decide that it doesn't. the current precedent in canada is that courts aren't supposed to intervene in decisions of this sort essentially at all. it's up to the regulatory body to decide it's own standards. but, i disagree with this, as it is a breakdown in the functioning of law, and think it is fundamentally legally wrong in almost all cases. it's probably the worst case law in canadian history, and will be remembered as a catastrophe when it's overturned.

i would rather point towards the general restriction on political activity (which is what this is) by members of the public service. public sector workers are not supposed to engage in political activity of any sort.

while it should be up the oversight body to set it's own standards, the legal question is whether her views are infringing on her ability to do her job, and i think there's a good argument that they probably are. i've dealt with heath workers that hold discriminatory attitudes and seen first hand how it can impede their ability to provide care. that is an issue of importance that needs to be taken seriously.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/amy-hamm-discipline-bc-nurse-1.7610933 

this is a symptom of the decadence of the liberal government.

this is the government's fault.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/video/2025/08/17/cupe-national-president-rips-ottawas-back-to-work-order/

i just noticed they made a new movie of the running man as an update of the 80s film.

that was one of my favourite short stories, as a kid. it's pretty creepy how closely it foreshadowed the more dystopian developments in capitalist mainstream culture after 2001.

i don't watch many films nowadays. i probably won't watch the new one.

if you get a chance, read the story. it's in a large compilation called the bachman books, which includes three other short stories, including once called the long walk, which is arguably a better version of the same story.