i didn't get a lot of actual sleep, but i shut down for a few hours.

i need to reiterate the point i've made several times, now: i post my entire life to the internet. i'm never far from a typing device, and i'm not shy about expressing myself.

so, what is the value of law enforcement eavesdropping on me?

is there some concern that i'm not who i claim i am? if so, how would i even have time?

am i not sharing enough information? not sharing the right kind of information? is there maybe some kind of delusional imagination that i'm not sharing things that aren't actually happening?

it's just hard for me to get my head around this. i post to the internet all day every day, and the cops seem to want to install surveillance software to determine what i'm doing when i'm not posting? what?

listen - what you see is what you get, with me. there is no secret life of jessica. i'm not hiding anything. i just want to get back to work.

so, it might take me a few tries to delete any traces of these tunneling drivers from my system, and then what? are you going to try to install some other surveillance software? why?

why not just read the fucking blog?

but, let's remember a few things:

1) the laptop i'm using to connect to the internet does not have a webcam or a microphone in it.

2) i have physically removed the wireless card from the machine.

3) the wired internet connection is 6 mbps. max.

4) the laptop has 4 gb of ram, which is the maximum the board can take. it's running a 64-bit os.

5) it's a dual core processor from 2006. 

6) the laptop initially shipped with windows vista, but is running a legal copy of windows 7. i got the product key from the licensing centre at carleton university. it is not an evaluation copy, and does not expire.

7) i will not allow unsigned drivers on my system, so any attempt to install them is going to lead to errors.

i don't know what you're looking for, but i assure you it's not here.

so, to recap.

as far as i can tell, what was happening initially is that they were trying to install a server, and it errored out when it tried to load an unsigned driver.

so, i deleted all the server files...

now, they're trying to install a vpn, and it's erroring out when it tries to load an unsigned driver.

so, i'll have to delete all the vpn files...

this stuff has been uninstalled on my machine for years. but, it sits on your drive. it's how windows works. and, if you know where to find it...

with the way i locked the group policy down, this guy has to have some kind of serious back door, too. it shouldn't be possible to do anything remotely. and, yet...

*shrug*.

i don't want those files there anyways. 

but, like i say, i'm getting fed up.

so, i was back up this morning around 4:00 and i got knocked off again around 12:00. i decided against reinstalling until later tonight, and tried to get some sleep, but i'm fucking pissy about this and couldn't nod off...

i decided that i'd might as well try and figure out what's going on, why i'm getting these blue screens. i mean, it's clear enough that i'm under cyber attack, but what can i do about it...

the reason i'm getting a different error - a blue screen instead of the lock screen - is that they appear to have changed their tactic. i was able to boot into the os by disabling driver verification again, only to realize a few things:

1) they deleted the firewall logfile. so, i don't have an ip.

2) instead of trying to install a server, now they're trying to install a vpn.

so, as far as i can tell, i was able to successfully delete the server from the winsxs folder. now, they're trying to install a vpn instead.

so, now i have to delete the vpn files from the winsxs folder...

it's bizarre. this person just won't give up. every time i find a way to block a path, they find some other vector. and, what exactly are they looking for?

i was initially under the impression that the purpose of this was to knock me offline, but it seems more clear, now, that they're trying to spy on me, and keep fucking up. so, i still can't imagine this is a kid - this is too much. but what i thought was a tenacious network admin working for an intelligence agency that was trying very hard to knock me offline now appears to be an agent that is actually trying desperately to keep an eye on me.

i don't know how to fix the underlying problem. obviously, he shouldn't be able to hack in via firefox in the first place. but, i seem to be defenseless against it...

so, if he wants me to delete all these infs files and tunneling drivers, i can do that.

ugh.

when can i stop wasting my time? when i'm dead? it's just endless....

i'll be back up by the morning.

it's depressing is what it is.

i'm very frustrated.

it's my birthday. i'd like to focus. the stench is worse than i can remember it, but it...

it smells like a cross between sweaty ass, bad breath and skunk weed.

just fucking rank.

if there's one day of the year where it would be nice to be cold sober and read without having to deal with my neighbours' gross habits, i would hope it would be on my birthday. *sigh*.

i don't see any use in getting angry. he doesn't care, and he's dishonest. i'll just get into the shower a little after 19:00.

donald trump didn't shoot the plane down.

the fascist iranian regime shot the plane down.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/maple-leaf-foods-ceo-ps752-us-iran-1.5424530

i'd rather use serbia as a model than iraq.

if american troops stormed tehran, would the iranians treat them us liberators?

well, that seems unlikely.

but, american air power (precision strikes targeting the clerics, specifically) could conceivably create a tipping point that allows the protestors to seize power - that would be the ideal.

but, as mentioned, i wonder if they wouldn't be better off with a classic imperial deposition, via whatever carnage it necessitates.

it's worth remembering what the argument against the invasion of iraq actually was, on the left.

nobody argued it was immoral. nobody - on the left - argued it was costly. there was a scholarly argument against the legality of it, but the implication was that it would have been fine, if the united nations hadn't voted against it, which made it a sort of a red herring on the question of if it was actually justified. and, nobody argued in terms of cultural relativism, either, if you want to even imagine what that means, as applied to the baathist regime of saddam hussein.

rather, the argument was "we can't do it for them. they have to do it themselves.".

and, there was no movement on the ground in iraq, except a movement towards backwardsness. bush went on tv and argued that they'd treat us as liberators; smart people knew better.

the situation is reversed in iran. it is still true - they have to do it themselves. but, they're trying. i'd like to help.

do i think that iran is building a nuclear weapon?

the evidence i've seen suggests otherwise.

but, i don't think that this really has much to do with what's actually happening, and it doesn't have much of an effect on my support of or opposition to military action against them.

like, i'm not trying to take a side here.

i stand with the iranian people against the tyranny of the iranian state.

fwiw, i would also support military action for the purposes of regime change to secular democracy in saudi arabia.

i'm somewhere not far from hitchens on iran, if you want a reference. i disagreed with him about iraq, but this is a contextual thing - there was no serious opposition on the ground, and the bombing was punitive rather than productive.

i also opposed the action in libya (for similar reasons) and continue to oppose military action in syria (against assad, i mean. i supported the bombing of isis.).

but, i might have supported an invasion of iran in 2003, and i might support one tomorrow, or in 2023.

i don't think that governments should pretend they can determine what's "moral" and what isn't, but i would challenge the claim that military action against iran would be immoral.

the iranian regime is one of the most brutally vicious regimes on the planet, and has been for the entire extent of my lifetime. the oppression suffered by the iranian people since the 1979 counter-revolution has been worse than those suffered by almost any other people on earth.

i am an insurrectionary anarchist; i am in favour of struggle, of revolution. there is no place on earth where such a revolution is more justified than iran. there is no government anywhere that deserves to be torn down more than the one in iran.

and, no leftist would write off the oppression perpetuated by the iranian government by appeals to cultural relativism. the iranian people have spoken out about their hardships. to assign the iranian people a lesser concept of freedom, or a lesser concept of democracy, based on the tyrannical dictates and brutality of their existing ruling class would be blatantly racist. their women deserve the same rights as women everywhere else. their queers deserve the same rights as queers everywhere else. and, if you will not stand with them against the government and the religion that oppresses them, you have no reasonable claim to stand on the left - you are a reactionary liberal and must stand with the bourgeois rulers you sympathize with.

so, my solidarity is where it has always been - with the secular left in iran, the socialists, the atheists and those seeking to overthrow the totalitarian state.

i have nothing but disdain for those that would stand with the mullahs. you are on the wrong side of history. you will be struck down.