this document is being prepared both for police and for use in a t2 application against my current landlords. it is also relevant for lingering legal processes related to my previous tenancy. it still remains unclear if one of the stalkers is one of the previous owners or not, as i do not know their identity.
what i want is sports testing to catch doping, which is urine and not blood, but that's not health care, so it's not covered or even available at any public labs in ontario.
- peel and segment one lime. chop each segment in half. put on same plate.
- frank's hot sauce
the police are not responding the way i'd like them to. i'm bringing up serious issues of stalking, forced drugging, conversion therapy and third-degree rape, and they're concerning themselves with the triviality of whether religious people found my report to be offensive, as though that is of paramount importance rather than my accusations of assault, and like i'm supposed to give a fuck, anyways. i may have to fight with them in order to overpower an inherently conservative systemic viewpoint, but the conclusion is abundantly clear and becoming more clear. a part of the reason i'm sending these emails out is that i understand i need a little help and i'm hoping i can convince somebody with some information to come forward and talk to police about it. i consistently tested in the 99th percentile on iq tests in school, and would probably qualify for mensa if i was dumb enough to pay for the dues, but this is an impossible problem for anybody to solve on their own, and i understand that.
this is a good way to describe being dumb enough to pay your mensa dues, in my opinion:
i'm not wile e. coyote.
i think some levity is helpful. it keeps your arteries clear.
i don't have a choice, i have to fight back and flounder and fail until the issue gets resolved. my interaction with a substantive percentage of police has been that they don't think conversion therapy should be a crime, they think being transgendered should be a crime. they think conversion therapy should be the law. they've told me this to my face, and their reports, when they've been written, have expressed this - i've been accused of having mental health issues or being on drugs, without the slightest bit of evidence for either suggestion. well, that's what the religious authorities would mandate, so it comes down to their depth of faith, and whether they prioritize the value and purpose of secular or religious law, and what i'm trying to draw attention to is that the police force in windsor, and probably in many other places in ontario and canada, has a serious and growing issue to grapple with in dismantling how police officers interpret the conflict of interest they may have between the laws enforced by their religion and the laws as written by secular society when those things come into conflict. quebec is a half century ahead of us on this. as a staunch secularist, i have no patience for the idea of police officers enforcing their religious views on me and could not uphold the legitimacy of a state that is careening in that direction, as ours appears to be. that would be a system that needs to be fought against and dismantled and torn down and ripped out at the root, as our ancestors have done time and again in the course of various revolutionary events. the reality of religion inserting itself as a force of oppression is just a third layer to put on top of the uphill battle in front of me in getting an inherently, systemically macho, toxicly masculine, misogynist, transphobic, male supremacist institution (the police) to take me seriously when i complain about being drugged with steroids and taunted and harassed afterwards. then, i need to deal with a different set of conservative biases in the court. this is a very, very hard issue for a self-represented person on disability to stand up for their rights regarding. but, this law against conversion therapy was passed for a reason, even if this is the most absurdly oppressive way it is required imaginable. this couldn't be more brutal, it couldn't be worse. the state, at some level, recognized my rights are fragile and need extra protection. now, it needs to get enforcement to act. the brazen way in which i'm being drugged is just contributing to how unbelievably vicious the situation is.
i had previously indicated there were two results i needed to update you with:
- testosterone (urine)
- ketones (blood)
my blood ketones came back undetectable, but it wasn't the test i was hoping for. this test only tested for a specific ketone, acetoacetate. the reason is that the test is intended to catch diabetes at a dangerous stage, and i have zero symptoms of diabetes. the symptoms i have are of being drugged with anabolic steroids. this test was not as useful as i guessed and i won't do it again.
the testosterone in urine test is no longer performed in ontario, or covered by ohip. again, the reason for this is that the testosterone testing is not intended to catch involuntary doping. to be clear: if i was looking to catch doping, i would want to do a urine test, which is why i asked for one and why my doctor gave me a req for one, but catching doping is not (usually) a health care related test, so the system no longer offers it. i might be able to get it done at a hospital.
google explains:
i had a time window to catch this on saturday, aug 2nd that had closed by tuesday, aug 5th, the day after the holiday on aug 4th. so it doesn't matter, this time. i'll have to see what i can do about this if it happens again.
to recap:
- i had blood work done on july 7th that barely caught the tail end of something, but had strange creatinine and ketone results, which are suggestive of anabolic steroid use.
- i went out a few times on the 7th, 8th and 9th but had to stay in on the 10th, as the secondary symptoms began to worsen.
- these had largely cleared up within about a week.
- on july 23rd, i left the house to get a blood req for a few hours in the evening.
- after july 23rd, until july 31st, i started repeatedly having auras associated with hemiplegic migraines, but without the migraines. i know from recent experience that this is a symptom of being drugged and a precursor to experiencing effects.
- i eat once a day, usually, and sip coffee and water through the day. i have been keeping track of my diet recently. the bolded items contained hot sauce.
- july 16th:. pasta with minor subs (5)
- july 17th: pasta with minor subs (6)
- july 18th (on the 19th): pasta with minor subs (7)
- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)
- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)
- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)
- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.
- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3
- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)
- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.
- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)
- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white bread with plum better.
- july 28th: pasta with minor subs (12)
- july 29th: guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white toast with olive oil margarine, and then two pieces of white bread with plum butter after. four more pieces of white bread, with plum butter and strawberry jam.
- july 30th: pasta with minor subs (13), including fried chicken for salami.
- july 31st: a larger piece of fried chicken alone. pasta with minor subs (14), including a mix of buffalo and chicken for salami. six pieces of white bread with peanut butter and strawberry jam.
- i have a detailed, carefully researched diet plan that this list references and that i adhere to very closely in normal scenarios. i am not in a normal scenario and have had to eat around my diet plan based on availability.
- i don't normally eat this much pasta, but i have been getting food from the food bank recently and they gave me large amounts of ingredients that i would use to make pasta with, like red peppers, processed tomatoes, italian breads, broccoli and even processed pesto, in addition to lots of pasta, itself. it made sense to put all of the food bank food together into good pasta meals for a month. i bought extra ingredients like hot sauce, avocados, beets, carrots and cheese to eat around all of these pasta ingredients.
- i feel the need to post the pasta and guac recipes so it's clear what i'm eating.
pasta
pre-prep
- on a large flat plate add - one tomato (preferred) or four-five mini tomatoes or 100 g of canned tomatoes or 85 g of arrabiata pasta sauce or 85 g of dried boxed tomatoes, one half a red pepper (diced), one avocado (diced), two cloves of garlic, one carrot, one beet, one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil, some fresh dill (chopped). add one tbsp of processed pesto (includes italian cheeses).
- chop 150 g of fresh pineapple into small squares on a small plate. i purchased four actual pineapples at reduced price at the grocery store across the street because they were ripe, which is a good thing (who wants crunchy pineapples? it's better if they're a little soft.). i should get around 900 g 750 g of usable fruit per pineapple. i've eaten 3 of 4 of these ripe pineapples and am about to go to pineapple 4 and they are in fact nice and soft. somebody at the store really didn't get it.
- slice and chop up 50 g of salami into small squares (i'm using spicy genoa sold in a 600 g amount). i finished the salami at pasta plate #12. the food bank also gave me an unusual amount of frozen meat, which includes fried chicken and ground bison.
- i fry the salami in olive oil margarine until a little crispy. i am cooking the bison the same way. the fried chicken is pre-cooked and i'm microwaving it.
- chop off the top of 25 g of broccoli florets and place on a small plate. place any stems in a bowl in the freezer, which is cumulative.
- grate 100 g of marble cheese
- weigh 110 g of dry pasta, preferably fettucine, but i will not be using fettucine for the foreseeable future. i went through three days of egg noodles and four days of fusilli. day eight will be half fusilli and half penne. it's been penne since and will be for a while still.
- cook to al dente in a covered pot.
preparation:
- add pasta on top of vegetables, right out of the pot. flatten pasta.
- add 1 tbsp of olive oil margarine on pasta.
- add pineapple and lime on top of that. flatten fruit.
- add salami or other meat on top of that. flatten meat.
- add 1 tbsp cumin, 1 tbsp nutritional yeast, 1 tbsp paprika, 1 tbsp hemp seeds, 1 tbsp sunflower seeds (or just chomp the last one). distribute these items evenly.
- add a lot of ceasar dressing (this is the pasta sauce), and bunch it up in the middle.
- add 1 tbsp of processed pesto
- add the grated marble cheese
- microwave for 2:00
- sprinkle crushed broccoli florets
- add frank's hot sauce, black pepper, a tbsp of cayenne pepper (sprinkled).
served with
- serve with some bread and olive oil margarine. the food bank gave me a lot of bread, including garlic cheese buns (first up), a baguette (second) and a loaf of unsliced italian bread (third), which i'm currently eating through.
- serve with tall glass of 25% grapefruit, 75% orange juice
guac
my normal guac is as follows:
- 2 avocados
- 4 cloves of garlic
- one carrot
- one beet
- one orange
- one lime
- spices & vitamins (cumin, hemp seeds, sunflower seeds, paprika, nutritional yeast, dill)
- ten slices of medium cheddar cheese
- caesar dressing
this would normally be half of a meal. i have been supplementing this as noted, with corn and white rice.
i also ate some bread with two types of jam over this week.
- during the week of july 23rd-30th, i repeatedly woke up listening to the stalkers talking to me, but it had no direct effect on me that i could notice. it was clear that they were expecting some effect, but all that i noticed was the auras associated with the headaches. i documented this with police. i would ask police to check the call records from my phone number.
- around 5:00 am on july 30th, i ate a large plate of pasta (as per the above recipe) that had cut pieces of frozen fried chicken in place of salami.
- at about 00:00 on july 31st, i microwaved and ate a piece of frozen fried chicken.
- i took a long shower over night.
- at about 6:00 am, i ate another large plate of pasta (as per the above recipe) that had both cut pieces of frozen fried chicken and fried ground buffalo in place of fried salami. the buffalo was fried in the same grease that i used to fry the salami, which had been left out when i went out on the 23rd.
- i slept around 7:00.
- i woke up at 8:00 to urinate and began to experience intense effects of being drugged, include a two hour 30%-priapism that was quite obviously chemically generated, given that i'm castrated and take t-blockers. it was not a full or even a half priapism, probably due to the t-blockers and estrogen in my system. this could not be explained any way other than drugs, even if i wasn't castrated. i documented this with police.
- i had to sit in the shower for several hours before it resolved. the process was emotionally draining and left me exhausted. i went back to sleep.
- i woke up around noon in the same condition of 30% priapism and had to do the same thing.
- i planned to go to the blood lab right away on friday morning (august 1st), so i ate earlier than normal. instead of making pasta, i had peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
- the 30%-priapism didn't truly pass until the evening, and only after i defecated. it passed instantly on defecation, but it came back.
- my two guesses are that this was either the result of being drugged in my food or the result of breathing in second hand crack cocaine from a neighbour.
- i decided over night to wait a day to see if the priapism would fade as a result of not eating and what i experienced is that it kept coming back after defecation, but also the defecation kept resolving it. i decided to sleep it off over the day, instead.
- i woke up in the evening and ate four pieces of white bread and a half a jar of peanut butter before eight o'clock pm.
- i was awake all night, fasting for the blood test.
- i had my blood tested at around 8:00 on aug 2nd.
- the results were as previously stated including 4x the normal testosterone result, but it was a day late because i was testing.
- except for some blood sugar to stay awake, i did not eat again until aug 3rd.
- my meals for the next few days were as follows. the bolded items contained hot sauce:
- aug 1st: four pieces of white bread and the rest of the peanut butter.
- aug 2nd: four marshmallows, two bananas and a chocolate bar.
- aug 3rd: two bowls of quinoa without subs (one for aug 1st early in morning, one for aug 2nd around 7:00 am).
- aug 4th: pasta with minor subs (14), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami (for aug 3rd). two pieces of toasted italian bread.
- i was out much of the day on aug 2nd. i did not eat, except the items mentioned.
- i noticed the secondary effects of the drugging become overwhelming on the afternoon of aug 2nd. however, i was exhausted and slept and actually slept well due to doubling up on the blockers, and woke up late at night without a priapism.
- i made some quinoa around midnight when i woke up and ate it and made some more about 7:00 but went back to sleep before finishing it. i received my blood results when i woke up and wrote the previous document while i ate the first bowl of quinoa, early in the morning.
i need to share my quinoa recipe so what i'm eating is clear:
quinoa
- turn a burner on the stove on to full blast. highest setting. crank it to 11.
- measure a third a cup of quinoa and place it into a fine strainer. i use the basket from a broken coffee machine for this purpose. let it run under water for at least five minutes, moving it around every little while. the reason you rinse the quinoa is to remove the saponins, which may block the digestion of key nutrients.
- while the stove is preheating and the quinoa is rinsing, chop the following items and put it all into a big, serving bowl:
- one red pepper (or around 150 grams)
- one carrot (or around 110 grams)
- one beet
- 50 grams of broccoli florets
- one avocado
- two cloves of garlic
- one orange
- one lime
- when that is done, take the quinoa out of the strainer and put it into a sturdy pot
- add a tad more than 2/3 cups of water
- add a fair amount of frank's hot sauce. if you want to add other items to season, do it, but i just stick with the hot sauce.
- stir.
- put pot on stove and wait until it comes to a boil.
- when it's boiling, cover the pot.
- walk to your microwave and set it to 15 minutes.
- walk back to the stove and reduce the heat. i had a newer stove in my previous apartment, and i would set it to min. on my very old stove (70s) in this apartment, i set it to 3.
- while it is cooking, add the following to the bowl:
- a few strands of fresh dill
- 1 tbsp of paprika
- 1 tbsp of oregano
- 1 tbsp of sunflower seeds
- 1 tbsp of cayenne
- 1 tbsp of cumin
- a bunch of pepper
- 1 tbsp of hemp seeds
- 1 tbsp of nutritional yeast
- 10 slices of medium cheddar cheese
- a lot of ceasar dressing
- a lot of frank's hot sauce
- while you're getting used to your stove, check on the quinoa periodically to make sure it hasn't boiled all the water off. it's done when the water boils off. don't overcook.
- if there is still water after fifteen minutes, you didn't cook it at high enough temperature. that's ok. stir and let sit until water burns off.
- when it's done, remove from burner and let sit, covered, for five minutes.
- dump, hot, into bowl.
i eat the quinoa with a tall glass of fortified, sugar-free soy milk.
- after doubling up on the suppressors and sleeping well on the evening of the 2nd, and after eating one and a half quinoa meals with a lot of franks on the morning of the 3rd, they woke me up at about 9:30 am on aug 3rd with another priapism.
- i spent all day in the shower
- i doubled up the suppressors again and then slept well in the evening. i woke up late on the 3rd.
- i made more pasta early on the 4th and had eaten most of it by 7:00 am. i did not sleep well, but it was because i was having several active bowel movements. as was the case previously, and has been the case for some time, the symptoms would recur and pass with defecating. i tried to sleep it off a little.
- i woke up in the evening and tried to figure this out. i found the article explaining that steroids are reabsorbed in the colon.
- i posted the following to my blog at 1:34 on aug 5th and it does contain some details but these are necessary and relevant:
--
- i finished eating around 20:00. it was the last bit of pasta and a couple of pieces of toasted italian bread. after eating the garlic cheese buns, i ate through the baguette and mostly ate the white bread with pb and jam and plum butter. i still have the loaf of italian bread, a loaf of whole wheat bread and a loaf of flax/quinoa bread i bought myself.
- i took a giant shit a few hours ago that cleared out the most recent pasta (it was after the giant quinoa shit). i just pushed out whatever was left as i was typing this.
- a few hours later, i doubled up on all of my hormones all at once - t-blockers, estrogen and progesterone. this is a lot of everything. my doctor would scream at me, but my liver and kidneys are testing ok, and i had to do this to test. this is intended to just overwhelm my system, and it might make me a little sick, but that's ok.
- i then masturbated, which i almost never do. it'd been about four months. ish. i don't like to masturbate because it's male performative. i won't get into the details, but i masturbate in a way that minimizes the male performative aspect as much as possible. it's actually fairly female performative. i cannot generally get erect at all, let alone maintain an erection, and masturbating is sort of weird for that reason. i have to kind of rub up against a mostly limp appendage. i don't usually ejaculate anything out when it's done and the fact that i did tonight is further proof that i've recently been drugged. anything i might do to negate this aside, the reality is that my anatomy is what it is and it's impossible to get around the male performative component, so i'd rather just avoid it altogether. when my testosterone is properly suppressed, i can and have gone months and months, perhaps years (i didn't keep track) without masturbation, but i have been drugged recently and i had to face the cold reality that, because i've been repeatedly drugged and haven't ejaculated in months, anything clogging up my system would be contributing to the problem, in terms of experiential effects. i did this to clear my system out. it should both make me feel better and help isolate sources, for testing. now that i'm completely cleared out, my body should have a difficult time generating anything further, unless i'm drugged again.
- now, i need to be clear about this. when they removed my testicles, they removed both my sperm cells and my vas deferens, so i'm physically incapable of generating or ejecting any kind of sperm at all. however, i do still have a prostate and i do still have various tubes and ducts like the seminal vesicle that create the non-sperm parts of semen, like the lubricating fluid. what came out would actually be mostly sugar, and a bit of protein. once again, when my testosterone is properly suppressed, my body does not produce this fluid, either. however, i've been repeatedly drugged, and there was some fluid in my ducts for that reason. it's more proof that i've been drugged. i expelled that from my body, and it should make a positive difference.
- if i don't get drugged again, it should take months for this fluid to build back up to any substantive level, if it even does at all. if it builds back up quickly, it's evidence that the source of testosterone i'm being drugged with is in the air or in my food.
- i'm going to avoid eating for a while and see what happens.
i'm essentially clearing myself out as much as i can, radically shocking my system with a massive female hormone bath and then seeing what happens. do symptoms cease, indicating i have successfully detoxed and they'll have to get in here to drug me again? or do they continue, indicating it's in my food, or that i'm breathing it in?
for tonight, i'm going to try to clean up and finally get my hair dyed. the massive flush of estrogen will have other, beneficial side effects, as well.
if i notice continued symptoms of forced drugging, i will get to the lab on tuesday or wednesday. otherwise, i'm going to need to wait until what i just shocked my system with comes down a little.
--
i had the following meals over the next couple of days, the bolded with hot sauce:
- aug 5th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (for aug 4th)
- aug 6th: pasta with minor subs (15), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami. two pieces of toasted italian bread. (for aug 5th)
- aug 7th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn. (for aug 6th)
- after shocking my system late on the 4th, i had bacon and eggs around 7:00 on the 5th and went to sleep in the morning.
- i slept most of the day.
- the stalkers woke me up several times, but did not succeed in generating any kind of unwanted aroused response.
- i did experience some strange effects and took some tums in the afternoon to block it. the calcium has frequently been effective in blocking unwanted effects.
- a bowel movement i had at 16:00 on the 5th seemed to clear out the remaining pasta and push out some of the bacon
- i was feeling stable and normal by the morning of the 6th. on some reflection and thought, i decided to have the pasta (with hot sauce and meat) right away, to test for a response.
- they woke me up at 10:00 am, but it was with a 10 second erection and not a priapism. this suggests dose was a factor. i doubled up on the hormones and went back to sleep and made an attempt to sleep it off by staying in bed until the afternoon. they woke me up again with a ten second erection and i doubled up on the hormones a second time around 14:00.
- i woke up around 16:00, still feeling somewhat agitated. i concluded it was because i hadn't passed the pasta yet, perhaps due to the tums taken the day previously.
- i deduced that this test proved that the drugs are in my food and that there are three possible sources: the hot sauce, the buffalo and the chicken. however, only the hot sauce makes any serious sense, as oral steroids are soluble in vinegar.
- i decided to take all three items out of my diet until i could get a clean blood test and posted the following to my blog at 21:16 on aug 6th:
--
i can put together a plan.
- i need to detox the poisonous testosterone from my system, first. this substance is shit. people that take this voluntarily are retards. i don't want it in my system. i'd remove my kidneys and inject myself with red blood cells instead if i could. it's a complete garbage hormone with complete garbage effects.
- once that's done, i can take a blood test that will demonstrate what my blood chemistry looks like normally, in the absence of this bullshit i'm being drugged with.
- then i can buy a bottle of hot sauce at the store and make meals with it, locking myself inside until it's done.
- i can take another blood test after that
i have to find a way to test the hot sauce. it looks like they went overboard to overpower my blockers, and that means it should be easier to test and catch.
--
- a little before midnight, i made some homemade hot sauce out of some white vinegar, some cayenne pepper and some garlic salt. i'll be eating that for the next few days, until i'm sure i've detoxed out the testosterone.
- after midnight on aug 7th, i had a bowl of guac with added creamed corn and yellow pepper and with the homemade hot sauce as a sub.
- while i was woken up several times on the morning of the 7th in various states of agitation, they did not succeed in arousing me. i concluded this was due to the pasta not passing as a result of the tums, but the dose from a single meal not being high enough to generate substantive effects.
- the pasta did pass in the afternoon, and the agitation passed instantly with it.
i will be eating the following meals over the next few days and expect it not to generate any level of arousal when i'm sleeping. if i am wrong, i will need to recalculate. as stated, i am not a doctor, i am somebody with a high level of education that the system identified as a gifted child and that is trying my best to solve a very hard problem and can only do the best i can.
i am strictly empirically driven. i will not allow theory to skew or distort experimental results. i will follow where ever the evidence leads me, as best and as clearly as i can follow it, to where ever it leads me to.
- aug 7th: monterrey jack tuna melt with homemade hot sauce. (on aug 8th)
- aug 8th: pasta with minor subs (16), homemade hot sauce and no salami sub. (on aug 9th)
once i have thoroughly detoxed my system of testosterone, i will get tested again. i want there to be a recent, clean blood test on the record. that will be the next outcome, unless they drug me again via some other method first, which i will need to react to as it occurs.
on the afternoon of the 7th, i took some pictures of my hot sauce containers:
at the start of june, i bought the big container of hot sauce. i put large amounts of hot sauce on everything and keep used bottles of hot sauce in my cupboard to partition the product, as purchased in bulk. the large container produces about 7 bottles worth of the product for the cost of less than three in the store. it's better than half price.
i have been eating this product in huge quantities for 35 years and i've never noticed it separate like this:
i find that very suspicious.
it is possible that it might be vinegar, but i've never seen that before.
i do not know how to test the hot sauce for steroids. i have previously asked police, and they have indicated they would only sent something to the lab if they were looking for illegal drugs. i don't have the resources to afford an expensive lab test, and it's not clear to me who would have the proper kits or litmus papers to do it correctly.
rigorous scientific testing would be better, but what i have at my disposal is logic.
