j reacts to the benefits of electing a terminally ill hillary clinton

the last time the americans elected a cripple for president, his wife ended up running things behind the scenes. it wasn't so bad, really. she was actually a pretty good president.

i'm just saying.

a lot of people think there was already a female president.

i'm not exactly a fan of bill clinton. but, he's at least to her left.

...and, bill v trump is a non-starter. i couldn't ever vote for hillary. i'd probably actually vote for bill.

i know it was always a team effort. hillary was  always very influential. i get that. but, the things they disagree on are exactly my fears.

look at the policy towards russia in the 90s, for example. or the way that clinton handled iraq. he's not the hawk she is.

i would have actually liked to see him run for a third term. he would have beaten dubya. and, we'd live in a very different world. i don't think gore would have been different than bush. but, clinton demonstrated that he would have been.

it's not a perfect situation. granted. i have a pretty long list of criticisms. but, the idea that hillary may be unable to govern may actually be a good thing.

david axelrod has been very critical as well. and, note that obama himself waited until it was over before he endorsed her. i think what you're seeing is that that unity was never there in the first place, and that some people are concerned about various fundamentals.

if they thought she could win, they would wait until she wins and then worry about her stepping down. this is about not thinking she can win...

i don't know who they're thinking about floating, though. it's hard to see who they think would be better.

the reality is that biden wasn't even close in '08.

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Jacob Davis
It's not that if she's sick it means she's mentally unstable. It's that depending on HOW SICK she is, she shouldn't be running for President. Otherwise we might be electing Tim Kaine President. ;)

jessica
see, if the higher ups thought that was actually going to happen, they'd just let it happen. that would be workable. and preferable to kicking her out in october.

this is pretty serious.

yeah.

i've decided to finally get rid of my testicles. if i can. this is not the sex change operation, which i simply don't want to do out of sequence. it would be done by now if i could find a way to fund electrolysis, but that will likely remain impossible for the foreseeable future. i just think it's crazy to try and get a full sex change while i'm still growing chin hair. and, there's a bureaucracy in canada that is actually unnecessarily restrictive - the process takes forever and rejects a lot of candidates. i wouldn't expect to be approved pre-electrolysis. but, i can't fund the electrolysis until i'm post-op. catch-22. the rational procedure is to go on hormones for a while, get the hair removal done and then get the testicles removed with the sex change. i'm just stuck at the hormone stage for financial reasons.

but, i'm getting restless. i see no conceivable way to fund the hair removal. and, i've just been on pause, waiting, for too long. i need a way forward.

the thing is that i may be able to get the testicle removal done under ohip. i don't know yet. it's ambiguous. but, if it's conceivable, i should do it. it's a next step that could be very positive.

why now?

what i'm noticing over the last four or five days (it's been building for the last few months....) is that i'm in need of a boost in dosage for the anti-androgens. this is after i just boosted my estrogen a few months ago. i'm getting to the point where dosage boosts may begin to get dangerous. and then what?

i think i should acknowledge that i have a choice: i can boost the anti-androgens (and keep up this arms war with my body), or i can just get my testicles taken out.

if i can do the latter, i should notice a lot of positive benefits:

1) i can go off the anti-androgens altogether.
2) reduced hair growth.
3) because the estrogen i take orally will no longer be fighting with the testosterone i produce naturally, it should be more effective.

i probably should have done this years ago. but, i figured i would eventually find a way to fund hair removal and do this in the usual order. and, the testosterone suppressors were working. they're starting to fade, and i don't want to just keep boosting dosages, so i need to take a different approach.

i'm going to have to talk to some doctors.

my argument is going to be that it's a path of least harm. and, i'll have to hope that they can find a way to get it covered.

fwiw, i have no interest in kids. that has little to do with gender identity - i made that choice when i was about 12. somebody talked me into freezing sperm once, but i don't even know if it's still in the freezer. or even care.

actually, it was that doctor in ottawa that got shut down for handing out the wrong sperm. so, i may have kids out there after all.

but, i'm just not remotely interested in spending any time at all with anybody under the age of 15 for any reason. sorry.

12-09-2016: still in a haze; not able to focus on catching up on things

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i have to point this out from time to time. people get curious and are afraid to ask. or they make poor assumptions.

i'm a mutt in the most extreme terms possible.

dad's side:
cree, italian, jewish, french canadian. meditteranean, broadly. i can at times look overly jewish or overly italian, although i can get the marseilles look from time to time, too. the biggest marker is the nose.

mom's side:
finnish, norwegian, welsh, irish, scottish, british. celtic-norse-finnish is actually a mix found across a broad swath of eastern europe, including ukraine. it makes a strange amount of sense to label my mom's side slavic, even though there isn't any directly. whether i look more scottish or more norwegian or more welsh has a lot to do with what features my hair colour pulls out. blonde can make me look very slavic. red makes me look more scottish...

again, i'm sorry, but i'm not trying to present a false image to sell t-shirts; i'm trying to document my life as a composer for the historical record. i had a messy week. the vlogs will reflect that. if that upsets you, too bad.

but you might want to get ready for it.

real life gets messy sometimes. and, i'm trying to keep it as real as i can.

but, i also need to be clear that there is only one character here, and it's me. i'll admit that this makes things a lot easier in terms of the dynamics of the thing. but, it actually also necessitates that i open up, because that's the entire point.

when your vlog is essentially a video-based journal, it doesn't make sense to be fake. it's real or it just doesn't exist.

maybe think of it like this: most vlogs are g rated sitcoms meant to run in the after school time slot. i'm aiming more for a late night cable drama, with an older and more mature audience.

i don't really know of any parallels.