Friday, August 15, 2025

i'm having a lighter meal tonight of soup (the rest of the gravy) and a salad composed of some loose ingredients.

soup:

- rest of gravy
- two strips of bacon
- chunks of monterrey jack
- two pieces of brown bread
- dill
- hemp seed
- frank's <---homemade
- pepper
- nutritional yeast

salad:
- orange pepper
- carrot
- beet
- garlic
- broccoli
- dill
- oregano
- hemp seeds
- sunflower seeds
- nutritional yeast
- cheddar cheese
- caesar
i'm not a vlogger. i don't want to make vlogs as a primary use of my time. i'm a musician, and i'd rather write than make vlogs; i prefer blogging, as a means of expression. the vlogs were meant as commercials for the masses, not as something i have any actual interest in actually doing for it's own sake.
the vlogging didn't end exactly in 2020, it just slowed down. there are vlogs from 2020, 2021 and 2022, but not every day. it almost completely stops in 2023 and i haven't done any vlogging at all in quite a while.

i don't want to bury it, but it's probably done with.

it just didn't work the way i wanted it to, and it's an extremely time consuming waste of energy.
what i found with the vlogs was that i was able to generate a lot of traffic, and i was able to get "subscribers", whatever that means, but it didn't generate any sales at bandcamp. i'd get hundreds of views and streams and gain nothing from it. i did not want to "monetize" my vlogs by putting ads on them, as i was not trying to sell my vlogs, i was trying to sell my music. 

i don't respect people that live off of ad revenue. it's contemptible. it's an insult to art.

my refusal to use google's products the way they're intended to be used (by buying ads) got me shadowbanned, in the end. the result is that these accounts are actually useless, so the people trying to steal them don't really get it. what shadowbanning actually means - and it's a term that's apparently been used incorrectly by idiots - is that only you can see your own posts, and you can only see your own posts when you're logged in.

what that meant is that i could go to a youtube video and post something, but nobody could see the posts except me, and only when i'm logged in. the reason is that i was successfully generating traffic to my bandcamp site by posting on youtube, instead of buying ads. i was breaking their model. they shut me down.

i then spent a long time archiving my youtube conversations on blogger and i've been posting here ever since. they don't bother me here because nobody comes here.

whatever perception may exist about the utility of my vlogs to make money would be entirely false. let me clarify.

1) i did not make any money from vlogging. at all. google has never sent me a cent. google did not make any money, either. there's no ads on the vlogs.
2) i have sold about a dozen albums on bandcamp that would have been sourced from youtube traffic, and none in many years. my last sale on bandcamp was in 2018.
3) my youtube accounts are shadowbanned, which means nobody can see what i post on youtube, and that's why i post it here instead, where it isn't moderated.

if this phony fraudster loser actually succeeded in stealing my accounts, they wouldn't gain anything of value to anybody except me. they'd have control of my writing, and be the target of censors and google bots out to shut them down for breaking their model.

i need to be clear: google saw me as a serious threat. they really aggressively shut me down. i can post here, and there's nothing else left on the web like blogger that lets people just type like there used to be, but i can't use their other products.

that is why i'm trying to get everything off line and to a personal storage space, once i get my living situation and my hormones back in normal order. all of this bullshit is just a waste of time.
the purpose of the vlogs was to be a gigantic commercial or infomercial for my bandcamp site.

it was a failed attempt at viral marketing.
it's come to my attention that there is somebody that is claiming to have "directed" my vlog, which i uploaded to youtube from 2015-2017 and is available here:

there are remaining unpublished vlogs from 2017-2020. i stopped vlogging at the start of the pandemic and have not restarted.

there is no "director" involved in the blog, and i am not an actor. it should be relatively obvious that i am filming my life as it occurs, and i am filming myself using a handheld camera. the only director is myself, and i am the only actor involved.

anybody claiming otherwise is lying, with the apparent attempt to take credit for something they had nothing to do with, under the perception it will make them money, although i'm not sure how. the reason i stopped bothering with the vlogs is that they were entirely useless as marketing my music, which is what they were intended to do.
the fact that europe bafflingly continues to insist on it's intention to use an occupation force in ukraine as some kind of answer to the conflict, rather than the cause of it, indicates there is no possibility of success in alaska.

putin has been insisting on meeting the us president for years, because he thinks it's running the ukrainian military. this is half based on probably correct analyses that nato has been directly involved from the start (there has been a substantive canadian troop presence in ukraine since well before the war, and the british are providing clear tactical support) and half idiosyncratic russian paranoia, which we saw in many russian leaders before stalin. he won't talk to zelensky. just getting the meeting is a win for putin.

i think the best case outcome is that putin wakes up a little from the experience and realizes that this war really isn't being directed from washington and he's going to need to deal with the facts on the ground.

but the european proposals clearly indicate that they have no interest in peace and want the war to continue. so, it will.
i want to clarify a subtle point i may not have clarified well enough.

the data i posted said 93% of the total area burned was caused by lightning, and only 7% was caused by humans. this is a kind of qualitative stat that has been quantified. i am familiar with the fact that governments have been arguing for years - and i have no reason to think this is incorrect - that the vast majority of fires, when counted irrespective of size or intensity, are caused by humans. i think the gay american fire mascot even told us this, as far back as the 80s. it is probably true.

the issue in front of us is all of this smoke, so i picked the qualitative metric because i realized it was more relevant. the type of wildfires caused by humans tend to be where humans go and are therefore easier to catch and stop. that doesn't mean they aren't serious problems, but they aren't what's causing the wildfire smoke, or these record wildfire seasons. the dramatic spikes in areas burned are directly related to lightning strikes starting fires in remote areas that are hotter and drier than they used to be. it's the change in climate that is causing the increase in smoke, not direct human activity in the forest.

the gay fire mascot is still right. most fires, when added up irrespective of damage and intensity, are caused by humans. you should still be responsible in the forest.

it's just that this isn't the same issue, and thinking it is the same issue is fundamentally not getting it, and it is that point of not getting it that i was trying to address and correct.
no. this is the most ridiculously entitled, bourgeois thing i've ever heard.

air canada should go to court and get this absurd law struck down as unconstitutional.

activists concerned about the well being of palestinians in the west bank should be supporting annexation and trying to start a civil rights movement for palestinians within israel.
ok. i think some headlines got changed, and the canada part got cut. i don't know how the nhs sets drug prices.
it's not clear what this even means.

there is a regulatory body that sets drug prices in canada by comparing the prices in a small number of oecd countries. it is not a free market mechanism. eli lilly doesn't set the price, the government does.

in fact, the biggest reason that drug prices in canada (for patents) are so high is that they are so high in the united states.

generics are set at a fixed percent of the brand price.

the public service in this country is not too big, it's too small. services are woefully inefficient. they need more staff to reduce wait times.

if carney is insistent on wasting money on tanks, and doesn't want to go into debt, he should pay for it by increasing taxes on the people that voted for him.
this is not trump's fault.

we did this to ourselves.

labour action is an expected and normal consequence of inflation.

you gotta pay your staff fair wages, air canada. they can't be expected to eat your losses.
i woke up n the afternoon, and i spent all day and night applying for apartments. i stopped around midnight to put some salicylic acid on my face, which is currently cleansing my pores out. now i'm eating throgh the potatoes i got from the food bank.

i have white potatoes instead of red potatoes but i'm making the same meal tonight.

- fill up a pot of potatoes with cold water
- bring to a boil
- let sit for fifteen minutes
- take each out to a plate, chop in half or four
- dump into a large serving bowl

they're cooked; kind of mashy, but they're red potatoes. i've had these before, at dinners like christmas or thanksgiving.

- dump margarine on the potatoes
- dump sour cream on that
- add a chopped avocado i do not have avocado, but i have orange pepper. i used up the rest of it, about 100 g.
- add a tbsp of hemp seeds
- add some fresh dill
- add ceasar
- add nutritional yeast
- mix

meanwhile, fry up five strips of bacon and add four ox cubes to three cups of water, and dissolve. wait.

- grate about 200 g of mozzarella and dump it in (i added an extra 50 g of jalapeno monterrey jack)
- mix it up

- turn heat off the gravy and let sit. stir occasionally while waiting for bacon to finish.
- chop bacon and add
 - add gravy
- add pepper
- add frank's  <---homemade