also, give the treble a boost on that one, if you can. 

i mix everything for headphones at fairly high volume, which means i assume people are reconstructing the high end via the amplification process. but, the mp3 compression seems to be interfering with that on the stream.

the bass on this particular track is very thick and saturated by design, so it cuts through the compression, but the highs don't, so you get that imbalance.

so, just roll the highs up to bring them back, if you can.

that shouldn't be necessary from a full quality source at sufficient volume. and, of course, the other choice is to sacrifice some of the bottom, or to exaggerate the highs before lossy compression - and i don't want to mix for streaming mp3. yuck.

ok, i'm finding - and i can't get consistency with different tracks on this - that this particular track gets better reproduction via low quality mp3 compression as a source when it's sent into an amp at relatively high volume, and cranked at the amp stage.

i mixed everything through an alesis 16 track recorder (it's a sound interface with a firewire connection) as a sound card, so it standardizes to that. and, i'm using the same amp. but, i was lining it all out in cd-quality through a pair of old sennheisers, not streaming it from bandcamp into a thinkpad running the chrome os.

as far as low quality laptops go, this one is actually not that bad. but, it is what it is.

so, i find that some tracks sound better when you plug the headphones directly into the chromebook, whereas others sound better when i send it into the amp, first. the difference is really mostly about levels, and the bottom line is that the chromebook simply can't produce audio at the right volume. so, when i get simpler mixes, i can tell less, but when i get these saturated mixes, i just need the ponies, and that's all there is to it.

so, it's certainly a lot better through an amp - even with the same headphones, and ultimately using the same line out from the same stream.

i always remind you to use headphones, and you need it to be loud enough to hear it, because i'\m not doing loudness wars shit.

fwiw, inri054 - clarity, the file i just posted - is one of the tracks that doesn't compress to a 128 mbps stream very well.

and, i have no solution besides to access it in better quality by purchasing it.

likewise, i believe the arab name for russia was "al-asscold".

supposedly, the arab name for china was "al-assfar". 

this is in addition to "al-andalus", which means "ass end of the earth".

so, we see the arab description of spain and china as being somewhat equivalent - there is the ass end, and the far assed. and, who can really dispute such descriptions? china's about as far-ass away as can be.

we all know about the nazi torture camps, where the victims were jews, gypsies and slavs - plus communists, and anybody else that the germans wanted to clear out to create lebensraum.

we don't seem to know much about the equivalent japanese experimentation on the chinese, koreans, philipinos, vietnamese, indians, etc - plus communists and other groups deemed undesirable by the emperor. of course.

but, this happened.

there were death camps, experiments - the whole shebang, to go along with the systematic rape and slaughter...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/17/japan-unit-731-imperial-army-second-world-war

today's post is the first rabit is wolf single completed in it's second phase, once the talentless, arrogant ass guitarist got turfed for not showing up and then whining like a child about it.

as mentioned before, this material is fundamentally different than the more serious pieces i was working on for my own projects, even if i would eventually reclaim the piece as instrumental. so, it's both something else entirely and a kind of a throwback to the more song-oriented material from the inri phase.

sean never liked this piece, which i suspect is about.....me. he never consented to putting it on the album/demo. but, i think it's the best thing we did.

while both sean and jon were at the drive-in fans, i was not interested in that type of commercial rock music at that time and mostly wrote it off as boring radio music with a nasty "nu metal" vibe, the latter of which is something that neither sean or i liked (but jon did), and something i held in much more contempt than sean did. i think sean at least listened to a lot of nu-metal influenced or nu-metal integrated stuff. i couldn't stand the stuff - i took reznor's side, ideologically, in denouncing it as the low point of music. and, in hindsight, wasn't that correct?

nonetheless, it is curious to note the overlaps in approach that this recording has with the tremulant ep, which was happening roughly contemporaneously (although i was more trying to emulate the division of labour seen in early skinny puppy). this could also pass as very early witch house...

=====

the core loops involved in clarity were initially created in the late summer of 2001, with the intent of being the opening sequence in a new inri project (with the long kicked-around working title of 'trinri'). while i had fairly firmly put the inri moniker down around my 19th birthday (late 1999), i was also coming out of a lengthy "serious music" phase and was getting a desire to write in a more structured, synth-pop type direction, as i had for years previously. this urge was happening about the same as i was being coerced into starting a rock band with some high school acquaintances. 

around october, i started working on a separate noise project that was meant to splice harsh electronic noise with anarchist politics. this produced two tracks at the time, which are now available as a short single as inri051. at the time, it wasn't clear to me where those ideas would lead. 

by november it was clear that the rock band wasn't happening, but it turned out the singer had tastes that correlated reasonably well with what i was thinking about creating for the trinri project. these two projects consequently merged into rabit is wolf, and the material i was kicking around for use in trinri ended up becoming the core of what rabit is wolf became. 

as i was recording parts for clarity, i ended up reusing ideas from the noise project. i further reused those ideas in constructing a 2004 noise collage for inclusion on the record that finally came out of the noise project. both noise collages are present in order to comprehensively explore the ideas existing within clarity. 

zen was recorded with sean over december, 2001. i have chosen not to complete a version of the wave (inri053) that was also being discussed at the time, but would have fit into this release well, conceptually. 

clarity was completed (with vocals) over january, 2002. the nature of rabit (along with the songs i had written for it) took a sharp turn towards folk almost immediately. this collection is consequently quite different than the official rabit demo, which is much more song-oriented. over the years, i've always wanted to have a rabit release that was darker, noisier and more chaotic and am glad to have it in the form of this ep-single, which could be viewed as a secondary demo. put another way, this is the comprehensive representation of the second (electro/noise/industrial) incarnation of rabit is wolf. 

however, there are two factors complicating clarity as a solely rabit is wolf production. the first is that sean was never really happy with the result - a shame as i consider his vocal performance and lyrics to be the best of the songs we did together. the second is that i always felt the track was "mine" and should have had an instrumental mix. that is, i've always regretted not saving an instrumental mix. 

for these reasons, i've revisited the track as an instrumental and left two snapshots - 11/2001 and 01/2002. the second snapshot becomes the final mix. 

recorded in late 2001 and early 2002. track 6 was constructed in may, 2004 out of files recorded 1999-2001. tracks 1-4 were reconstructed over october, 2014. final mixes were finished on october 18, 2014. released on oct 21, 2014. disc closed on oct 30, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version (track 4) appears on my sixth record, jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj^2 (inri063): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-2 

the 2002 vocal mix appears on the rabit is wolf demo (inri057): 

jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/rabit-is-wolf 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2002, 2004, 2014, 2017). 

released february 1, 2002 

j - guitars (electric, acoustic, nylon), mandolin, sequencers, synthesizers, drum & melodic programming, electric air reed organ, digital piano, flute, drum kit, sampling, digital and analog effects processing, digital wave editing, sound design (loops, granular synthesis, noise generators), production 

sean - vocals/lyrics (3,5), harmonica (4,5)

ok. 

i'm pissed off about this, clearly. this is a longstanding annoyance with government micromanagement that is going to kill me in the end if it's not reversed, but there's not a lot i can do besides eat less, so there's no use in getting upset about it. let's just try to construct the diet so it's as efficient as possible, as it comes up...

but, if have a heart attack in the mean time, i take no responsibility for it, and my blood is on the government's hands.

so, i stopped on thursday to clean and didn't really get much done. i'm in for a few days now, at least. i clearly skipped the alter-reality for the day, but i'm going to avoid getting back to the diet run through until monday and spend the weekend rebuilding the recording pc, instead.

let's catch up on the posts, at least.

i'm essentially going through menopause.

that's what's wrong, right now - not colon cancer.

i can't sit around and wait for this.

if i'm stuck with a hormone balance that i don't want, i need to find ways to keep my vitamin intake high while reducing calories to absolutely minimal levels. this wasn't a problem when i was on estrogen pills that worked, but i now have both low testosterone (which is desirable) and low estrogen, and the result is my metabolism has slowed down.

so, i need to adjust by reducing the number of calories. that simple...

and, i simply don't understand why vitamin d is covered for people with absorption issues (when it's mostly synthesized) and vitamin e isn't (when it isn't synthesized at all).

there's no logic in any of this. it's driving me nuts.

i don't want muscle.

i don't want to look like a fucking retarded jock.

i'm going to start starving myself before i consider converting the fat into muscle.

i'm gaining weight very quickly.

i don't have colon cancer.

i have declining estrogen levels because the generic product doesn't work - that's what's going wrong, right now.

my doctor's been wasting my time with specious concerns about colon cancer, and i've gained 30 pounds of fat around my stomach in the mean time due to declining estrogen levels that i don't want to convert into muscle, and am consequently allowing to build up.

it's a catastrophe.

and, the world is full of retards that want me to accept it because it's "natural". fucking idiots..

i mean, it's maybe an underlooked question, but it's really the reality in front of me...

what happens when you have one side of your family with healthy, fit genes and the other side with defective, unhealthy, horrible unfit genes? genes aren't quite what we once thought they were - we can turn them off and on with hormones, and we largely retain genetic memories going back not to just your parents but to our distant ancestors. 

so, people tell me i look like my mother or my aunt, and it's not some accident - the estrogen is expressing the genes on my mother's side and the testosterone suppression is repressing the genes on my father's side.

now, you might claim that appearance is trivial. but, my father's side has terrible cholesterol, and my cholesterol has been outstanding for as long as i've been on the hormones. it's consequently easy to predict that i'm going to end up stuck with terrible cholesterol if i go off the hormones, and that there's almost nothing i can do about it except die young of a heart attack. did your god decide that for me?

now, you can tell me to take cholesterol lowering medications instead, but why would i want to do that when i can take estrogen, and it works to suppress the gene expression?

i've been distracted by the iron, but i need to refocus on the actual issue, which is my hormones, and try to get my estrogen back up into a healthier, higher range - before my genetic predisposition to high ldl kills me off.

i mean, this is a big part of the reason why i decided not to breed - my gene line needs to end. it's not fit. i don't want to burden anybody else with these genetics, that are responsible for virtually every health condition you could imagine.

the result of declining estrogen is going to be that i'm going to break a hip from osteoporosis, then have a heart attack from declining hdl and bleed to death from poor iron absorption - and it's all due to atrocious genes inherited from my terribly unfit father, and that i can only turn off by repressing with estrogen.

i've inherited so many terrible genes from that side of the family...

i need the estrogen to turn them off, or i'm going to die very young, like everybody else on that side does. and, it's really that simple - if i can't get back to high circulating estrone to undo the bad genes, i'm not likely to make it to 55 and may not even make it to 50.

ugh.

so, i'm looking at potentially shifting to injections to get my estrogen levels up, but the effects i'm looking for - like boosts in hdl and decreases in ldl - are a consequence of estrone metabolism, and simply don't happen anymore when you skip first pass.

so, i might get my serum estrogen up a little if i jump to injections, but it won't actually help with anything substantive - i'll just have more estrogen in my blood. i need the estrone up if i want the beneficial effects of hormone replacement, and that has to be done orally.

but, i can't book the surgery because of the pandemic, and i can't get access to useful oral estrogen because of property rights.

it's a complete disaster - and i'm going to end up overweight, iron deficient, with bad cholesterol and potentially with osteoporosis if it carries on for much longer.

i need to get back on brand name estrace asap - i'm going to be putting myself in major health risks if i don't, because my father's genes are defective in a dozen ways, and it's the only way around it.

actually, i just checked and none of the remaining minerals i wanted to check for are even covered...:(.