i've been to a doctor a few times this week about the degenerative
disease it seems like i have. that's something i'm going to be doing
over the next year or two, as i seek to figure out what the fuck this
is.
i need to be clear: i don't have a clue what it is.
not the slightest. it's a lot of the same symptoms you get after a
stroke, or get when you have ms, or get when you have als, or get when
you have cancer, even...
these are symptoms that have
been bothering me for around ten years, now. in some ways, they are
getting worse. yet, they kind of come and go, too. i just always lived
with it. facial tics are annoying, but not worth the time to see a
doctor. i can deal with a sore back every now and again. & etc. but,
the dysphagia has been really scary at points over the last couple of
years. this isn't new, either, though - i remember it being awful for
short periods as far back as ten years ago. what's new is that it hasn't
receded now in quite a while.
the first thing i wanted to
do was quit smoking habitually. done. since january. i wanted to make
sure i wasn't just dehydrated, too, and i think i've ruled that out. the
next thing that i wanted to do was rule out an ear infection, as a lot
of the symptoms seem to be centered on my left ear. what's the point in
getting mris and talking to neurologists for the next ten months if i
just have an ear infection, right? so, i did that this week. i will get
results on monday and am not certain what they will be. the doctor
eliminated an actual infection as a cause, but the admin seemed to note
something unusual around my ear drum when she was doing aural testing.
i
don't think i had a stroke, although i've had periodic fainting spells
for years (none recently). i got rid of them by not smoking on an empty
stomach, although i think some of it was also heat stroke. i also think
that this has been going on for too long for it to be cancer. the simple
truth is that nobody has untreated cancer for ten years without the
symptoms getting overwhelming. yes: the dysphagia is bad right now. but,
it always previously came and went. if i had a cancer in my ear ten
years ago, i'd almost certainly be dead by now.
so, i've kind of long deduced something like ms (or als, or...) by default. what else could it be?
well,
something i've overlooked this whole time is lyme disease. i was just
reading up on it. the symptoms are pretty accurate - especially the
facial tic. i don't explicitly remember the rash, but would i have been
able to tell it from a mosquito bite? i've had lots of mosquito bites
over the last ten years, and some period of being "eaten alive". the
absence of a rash is not absolute, either. you'd think that untreated
lyme disease for a decade or more would be pretty serious by now, but
that's at least a way out from ms or als.
the only other
way out that i can think of is that my jaw keeps healing wrong and then
fracturing and then healing wrong again, and it's basically just fucked
that side of my face up so badly that everything has stopped working
right. essentially, then, my face would be fucked. i know you appreciate
my technical definition and in depth knowledge. but, i think there is
something to this.
i wanted to do this one thing at a time
to keep the issue straight in my head and i don't want to see a
neurologist until everything else is ruled out. let's say i have ms, in
the end. it's untreatable. i lose nothing by waiting for the diagnosis. i
gain everything by avoiding a misdiagnosis.
so, i will go
in on monday after i get my hearing test results and set referral
appointments to check both for lyme disease and for skeletal issues. i'm
also going to see if i can get my tongue checked for cancer, just in
case.
it's only once i go through that process that i will consent to see a neurologist to check for a degenerative disease.
right now, i'm honestly kind of leaning towards lyme disease. - and i'm irritated with myself for not thinking of it sooner.
Thursday, June 30, 2016
i have been predicting the demise of pewdiepie for several months, now. this is just the next phase in his ongoing collapse into irrelevance.
at
17:33
Location:
Windsor, ON, Canada
china owns huge amounts of oil in canada, but can't get it out.
kind of like it owns huge amounts of american debt, but can never do anything with it.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/northern-gateway-pipeline-federal-court-of-appeal-1.3659561
kind of like it owns huge amounts of american debt, but can never do anything with it.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/northern-gateway-pipeline-federal-court-of-appeal-1.3659561
at
17:17
Location:
Windsor, ON, Canada
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