so, this is still a less than productive week, but it should lead into productivity next week.

that was a floaty morning, but i got the posts updated and i caught up to my eating schedule.

i'm just going to finish my fluoride and try to sleep in until the evening, then plan to get the pasta in the evening.

i have to make sure i don't flub this reading next week.

so, i stopped to eat yesterday, i went to get the recycle, i did some dishes, i tried to take a nap, i tried to take a shower and ran out of hot water (the hot water tank seems to have cut in half, or something, since i got back on friday. i don't know what the deal with that is. but, i'll have to shower twice as often, then.), i meant to lie down for a minute to warm up but fell asleep, i woke up, i made some eggs, i cleaned in here a tad, i did some typing, i took a nap, i took a shit, i tried to get my upload finished and now i want to make some fruit, take another shower and maybe even fall back asleep.

so, i'm just existing this week.

but i want to get as much food as i can to get as much iron as i can.

i haven't touched the rebuild since yesterday afternoon. 

it's clear enough i'm not going to make it to the alter-reality. what next, then? i dunno.

today's post is the spectacular, the infamous, the one and only....inri009:

===

this is the final version of something i'd been playing with since about '94 or so, and by this time the track had become something that was beyond absurd. in a way, this is the culmination of everything i did in this period. it's the central track of my inri years: it's both the first thing i spent any time seriously writing and the ultimate realization of the musical ideas i was exploring. it's the longest track on the first demo. the drum programming is deep, there's an orchestration through sequencing, synth parts in the background, lead guitar work coming to the forefront - it's everything thrown together at a coherent level, really for the first time. 

that this is the central track of this period maybe demonstrates how ridiculous i was and how ridiculous my musical vision was. maybe it also demonstrates just how _young_ i was. 

the remaining tracks in this period sort of pivot after this. 

i should be clear: this is pretty much the most terrible song that you could possibly imagine existing, and that was kind of the intent. the shock value is entirely up front. but at the same time, it's just so terrible that it's kind of funny, and that was entirely intended as well. 

you could maybe say something about how somebody like alice cooper ripping live chicken heads off in the middle of a performance is just about the most tyrannical thing you could imagine somebody getting away with on stage. it's just *so* ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh - even as you're horrified. 

it's a phase a lot of teenagers go through. i guess the difference between me and a hundred thousand other kids is that i was exploring it through composition. 

- 

now that i'm an adult, this isn't something i would write or promote. yet, i sort of am by uploading it. the interest here is to document the existence of a troubled child. well, and to document myself - i was that troubled child. 

the history of the track is perhaps a little less obnoxious than may be suspected. i was actually being taunted by somebody in the eighth grade. that person had never met and never would meet my mother. it's just a remark that young boys make. freudian analyses aside, i don't think there's really that much conscious thought put into it. 

my decision to write a song about it was half a joke and half a response to being teased. i listened to and feigned laughter at a lot of oppressive jokes when i was younger; to an extent, i regret not speaking up, but i can state with honesty that i never felt comfortable taking part (now, self-deprecating humour, often of a sexual nature, is another thing). this reaction, on that "fuck you" level, shouldn't provide for any specific discomfort. 

however, the fact that i explored the topic in a deeper level of depth than my taunters did perhaps might, and perhaps should. i need to bring you back to my aims in recording this early demo: i was trying to be as disturbing and shocking as i possibly could be. my taunters provided me with a particularly disturbing subject matter to explore, and i took full advantage of that. 

this track is certainly disturbing and certainly shocking. success? well, i guess. looking back, i've always been torn between regret and satisfaction. i still am... 

initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. released jan 7, 2016. sequenced jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 20, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my first record, inri (inri015): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3 

this recording is a part of the following collections: 

1) inriℵ0: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-1 

2) inriℵ1: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-box-set 

3) inriℵ4: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1 

5) inriℵ6: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1 

6) inriℵ17: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

released march 20, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, drum programming, drum kit, synths, sequencers, sampling, digital wave editing, production

but, biden didn't trick you like obama did.

you knew what you were voting for.

and, you did it anyways.

did you think the place was unpeopled until the 10th century, or what?

how can indigenous muslims in western china not immediately strike you as wrong?

how can you be so ignorant of history?

are these sanctions against china about the poor, repressed muslims in the west of the country?

no - not any more than the uighurs are indigenous to the region (they actually invaded fairly recently, displacing indigenous tocharians).

there are a lot of far better explanations for the developing trade war than this, even if it's a convenient excuse. but, let me tell you - it's a strange excuse. am i supposed to give a fuck about oppressed muslims?

awwww. 

it seems to be a first step towards the escalation of the containment policy brought in near the end of the obama administration, something that trump seems to have actually stepped away from and in truth screwed up fairly badly.

so, let me approach this based on reality and not on this concerning propaganda narrative, although that narrative should be understood, in terms of where the wealth and power in the west is, right now. the fact that this is the story they're using says a lot about how much power that muslims have in western society, at this point in time, and that's something that requires some checks, lest we collapse into muslim ignorance and islamic backwardsness.

what i'm going to say is this: some kind of containment of china is necessary. it's less about whether i like it or not. i mean, i'd rather not. but, they're an empire, too, and containment, in context, is a form of necessary self-defence. but, i'd rather see something other than sanctions, which are likely to be counterproductive.

the way to avoid a war with china is via careful strategic defense planning and increased social and economic integration, not via a trade war. but, the previous president left the country in a state of weakness.

if the sanctions are intended as a show of force to produce leverage for negotiations, i can look the other way for a little bit. i'll never support these kinds of sanctions, and i don't think it's the right tactic, but i can take it for what it is and bite my tongue. the justification being utilized in the press, however, suggests otherwise - it suggests this is intended to be long term. and, i must oppose any sort of long term sanctions on china, as i fear that will lead to a war rather than prevent one.

but, i've pointed out a few times that trumpism seems to have won and that biden is, in truth, the more aggressive and capable version of trump that so much of the left has been fear-mongering about materializing on the right. your competent fascist was right in front of you, the whole time.

this is the policy that trump would have created if he understood what he was doing. it's absolute continuity.  and, while i can hope it's intended as a strength-projecting segue to a shift, i don't think it is, and i must oppose it for the same reasons i opposed it when trump did it.

again: some kind of containment policy with the chinese is necessary, or they're going to overrun the continent and enslave us, or wipe us out.

but, we want integration and the dissolution of boundaries, not polarization and the erection of defensible borders; that biden is doing the latter rather than the former, and is dragging the client states with him, is evidence that trumpism continues to reign supreme within the biden administration.

so long, suckers...

now, i'm not saying there isn't a place for permaculture methods, in the sense that isolated communities and rural societies are necessarily going to continue to exist. if that's what you want, go at it.

but, no thank you.

so, it's not the future of anything at all - and we need to be careful that we don't trick ourselves that it is. 

leftists have a history of killing themselves off with stupid approaches to farming, and this is just the most recent example of it.

what i'm saying is not ground-breaking, it's foundational.

if we want to fix the food distribution system, we need to take control of it and collectivize it - not run off to build some cult somewhere out in the sticks.

you might imagine you'd live in some idyllic conservative society where you'd "become one with nature", or something stupid like that.

in fact, the wealthy people that you imagine you'd sell your food to (nobody else could afford it. and, india is the most unequal society in the world, remember; i'm not fact-checking this video, but india is a society where a small elite live gloriously, while millions and millions literally starve. that statistic is probably actually quite ghastly if you look into it.) would reduce you to abject slavery in no time.

for them it's a way out.

for you, it's a road to serfdom.

no, really.

it's a class marker, and a real one.

the monty python scene is funny and everything, and i posed it because it's a great satire regarding what people are imagining a system like this would actually be.

but, what a food production system based on permaculture would actually look like, and fairly quickly, is either functional or literal feudalism, as the wealthy buy up the farms (after fucking with the system to force the farmers to sell) and reduce the farmers to serfs.

if you're really rich, that might sound great.

but, if you're concerned about sustainability from a working class perspective, there's no future in this and it's just a waste of time bothering with it.

so, what should we do?

1. agitate the state for r&d funding and corporate grants.

2. let the capitalists built the hydroponic infrastructure with the money the state gives them.

3. rise up and seize the infrastructure.

4. ????

5. communism.

socialists like 5 step plans; capitalists can keep their 4 step plans if they insist, but they have a tendency to undo themselves. not enough steps to let the dialectic develop...

this organic farming movement is really the most conservative thing you could imagine, and i have no time for it.

is this what you want?

really?

no thanks. 

i'll keep pushing for ways to socialize the means of production, instead - and ways to use technology to increase food production, rather than abandon it in favour of population reduction.

the left is not supposed to be about the glorification of peasantry and the idolization of the protestant work ethic, it's supposed to be about the use of technology to abolish the doldrums of an existence focused on labour, to allow regular people the freedom to engage in art and science.

you can take your utopian bullshit and shove it up your ass. 

that's not my revolution. at all...

again: i have no patience for hippie bullshit, and i don't want to live the kind of peasant lifestyle they're presenting as ideal. i see it as far from ideal - i see it as the glorification of simplistic ignorance.

what i want is to fix complex, urban civilization, not blow it up. 

i like cities and want to continue living in spaces with abstract art scenes. i want to save this.

i hate small towns full of religious people and illiterate hippie buffoons. i don't want anything to do with that.

so, vice has gone to shit, recently. but, i've posted frequently about this for many years, and it goes back to a debate i had with occupy activists, who wanted to grow "organic farms" in toxic refuse sites from ottawa's lost days of industrial overproduction. i'm not going to bother and have blocked them from the recs, but i'll just leave this note here before i walk off.

here's something you probably don't know - almost all city parks are built on toxic waste sites. that's why they're parks. you're looking at prime real estate, quite frequently. but, the laws said they couldn't build houses or apartments or really anything there because there used to be a paint plant or a chemicals factory or something else there, before it was shut down however many generations ago. that's a general rule that holds for almost all city parks in almost all cities.

for that reason, urban soil is almost universally toxic and outdoor urban farming is actually a really dumb idea. if you're going to grow food outdoors, it needs to be grown in isolated areas that don't have a history of mercury or lead contamination, amongst other things. you might be shocked by what you find if you actually look into it...

environmental degradation is not some thing in the distant future, it's the reality we've been living through since the 60s, at least, meaning most of us have lived essentially our entire lives in ruined ecosystems and barely habitable ecologies. we don't realize how bad it is. we think it's an exaggeration, it's "not true here", it's some far off thing - no. it's real, and it's the life we've all lived through.

if you survive everything else, and you make it to a certain age, you will die of cancer; you've lived your whole life in a filthy, carcinogenic wasteland. even if you don't know it...

i'm not going to fact check the precise claims made in the video, although i'd invite somebody else to.

what i'll say is this, and i'll say it clearly: 

- if what you want is to escape to some bullshit thoreauvian fantasy where you live outside of society in a small, isolated community and fuck the world anyways then these small-scale permaculture settlements can offer you some escape. the pre-requisite, though, is that you need to be rich. 

- if you want to actually feed tens of billions of people, hydroponics is the only feasible solution.

the first option is a feasible escape plan for the elite, if the world is doomed, anyways. but, it will lead to mass starvation if it is ever adopted.

rather, it is the second option that mass movements on the left should be concerning themselves with, not the first - if you actually want to save the world, rather than find some way to escape the collapse.