tempted.

http://marshallfridge.com/

re: money

From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

Ok well let me know about the costs and the date. All your stuff is neatly organized and stacked in the garage so it will be easy to load up.

I'd like to come pick up the coat tomorrow afternoon if you're around. That way you don't have to lug it on the bus on Thursday.

Thursday morning I can pick you up at South Keys if you're there by 9:45am, because I will be doing the driving. Let me know if you'd like me to pick you up, or if it's easier to just take the bus right there (I think the 98 goes right there, but I'm not sure).

Re: Coat

From: stepmother’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

The credit that was possibly mentioned was on your father's Sears card. Now that your father is no longer here that card can no longer be used so you will have to plan accordingly. It will be cheaper for you to buy your furniture etc in Windsor now.

I told you when I sent the money for your rent that was it from me. All your belongings (music equipment and boxes) are in the garage but I will need notice before you come so that D or my brother can plan to be here.

As far as the coat goes if it is worth alienating everyone over so be it but your sister bought it for your dad to wear at their wedding.

re: money

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

i found a site called u-ship that apparently allows truckers to sell off empty storage space in their trucks. it's an auction type site, so i don't know what kind of prices are going to be offered to me. for right now, i just put up an ad for the grand & toy boxes. i'll see what kind of response i get.

ideally, i'd hitch a ride with the trucker on top of it...

it doesn't cost the truckers anything except time, so this could be super cheap.

Jessica Amber Murray
so, i'm moving to windsor. it's just a lot cheaper. getting stuff down there seems like a bit of a challenge, though. nana mentioned that when you came to ottawa you had stuff shipped somehow. i'm thinking that seems like the best option. what was the name of the company you used?

the youngest aunt
Hi J, Just heard about your dad's passing and I'm really sad for you and your sister. Bob was always super supportive of me when I was a kid, especially around music. That's how I remember him. I have no idea about the shipping company I used. I just called around and got the best price. A move to a new city is exciting and brings all sorts of new possibilities. I hope you make a happy life there.

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. umm. did you use rail or bus? and approximately how much did it cost? i'm trying to do this as cheaply as possible and trying to get some kind of ballpark... the thing about my dad is that he was going through a lot of suffering near the end. well, the last several months. the last surgery seemed successful at first, but there were extreme complications from blood clots that put him in perpetual pain and some significant brain damage. what made the brain damage particularly difficult for him is that he was fully aware that his brain was damaged. so, even if he could have somehow beat the cancer (he couldn't have), he would have spent the rest of his life suffering with depression over a degraded mental competency. he wouldn't have been able to work again, and for him that was very key for defining a purpose. so, it's one of those circumstances where death was an escape from an existence that offered nothing but hopelessness and suffering. personally, i really dealt with all of these emotions in the months leading up to his death, and at this point i'm just glad that he doesn't have to suffer any longer.

the youngest aunt
Yes, it must have been very hard to go through all of that. Life is precious. I think I used a trucking company. It cost me $700. Cheapest way would be to drive it down yourself.

Heading uptown for jam night! Have you heard that I'm a rock star now? Hahaha!

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, you said something about that. you should check out my friend's band, it’s the same idea with the three female singer-songwriters. well, it's sort of splitting up, they're doing their last show at the ottawa folkfest opening for vampire weekend. which is a helluva gig. but esa is coming to windsor, and one of the other girls is going to tunisia...

re: jacket

From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

Thank you J. I appreciate it a lot.

re: jacket

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>   
To: sister’s email address

ok. i will absolutely give you back the jacket on that basis to hold as a keepsake, if you think that's more important than me having a nice winter jacket that i'll wear on a regular basis. i'm not sure i agree with the logic, but i'll prioritize your feelings over that.

j

re: jacket

From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

He walked me down the isle in that jacket. So yes, it has been worn. And that’s why I want it back.

jacket

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

ok. so, i've thought about this...

i'm just going to ask you to think about a few things before i offer it back.

first, i like the jacket. it fits well with my beatnik style; it would look good with blonde hair and a bit of red lipstick. he gave it to me, but that's sort of not factoring into my thought patterns (other than that he gave it to me - he owned, he gave it to me, therefore it's mine). if you really, really want it, though....well, ok. just let me run a few algorithms through your brain first.

i haven't worn it yet. i was thinking it would be good for the fall, but in truth i usually wear sweaters in the fall rather than jackets. so i wasn't sure i would wear it. it's a little heavier than i thought, though - still too light for an ottawa winter, but maybe just about perfect for a windsor one.

so, if i give you this jacket back, recognize that i'm giving you back a really nice winter jacket that looks good on me and that i can't afford to replace. it's not sentimental from my perspective, it's functional. this is something i'd benefit from hanging on to.

1) do you want the jacket for your kid? that seems to be what you're getting at - his grandfather's jacket. ok. i'm willing to give it back on that basis. HOWEVER...he never wore this jacket. the pockets aren't even broken. it's not *really* his grandfather's jacket, it's a jacket his mother bought for his grandfather and that his grandfather never wore. if you still think the gesture means something, i'll give it back. but does it really? and is it really more important than me having a nice jacket?

2) if you want it for sentimental value to just hold on to, it's the same sort of thing. it's a jacket he didn't wear. it's going to sit in your closet forever. i think dad would rather i take the jacket and wear it than have it sit in a closet as a keepsake.

3) are you going to wear the jacket yourself? well, then we need to take about who would get the most use out of it. i'm thinking i would wear it as an every day winter coat. would you wear it more often?

4) did you want to give it to your husband? well, that's sweet of you. but, again, it comes down to who needs it and would use it the most. i bet he has lots of nice jackets. and he can buy a new nice jacket whenever he wants. me, not so much...

i know you're claiming ownership of it because you bought it. but, you gave it to him as a gift, at which point you lost ownership of it. he made a conscious choice to give it to me. so, it's now my jacket.

but, that's not important to me. if you're attaching something emotional to the jacket, that's more important than who it technically belongs to. *i don't really believe in property rights*. what i do believe in is the idea that things should be made the most use of. i think the jacket should go to the person ho will make the greater use of it.

that person is either going to be me or the kid.

to break it down to something binary: do you think the reasons you want it for the kid are more important than the reasons i want to keep it? if you can answer with an honest "yes", i'll give you back the jacket.

i can also give you some nice clothes i bought a few years before i went back into transition and basically never wore. there's a business suit from moore's in there, and some other stuff.

j

Re: Coat

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

the jacket is unisex. i've had very similar red jackets that are clearly designed for women...

he gave me the jacket, and i like it. it's pretty sharp looking. i like the black; it looks good with blonde hair and red lipstick. i'm sort of a beatnik. i haven't worn it yet, i was putting it aside as a fall jacket. i was thinking it wouldn't be warm enough for winters in ottawa, but it should be warm enough for winters in windsor.

so, i sort of want to keep it. however...

the thing is i'm not really sure what she wants to do with it, either. if she wants it because of the sentimentality, i'm sympathetic, but i think it's better off being used than sitting in a closet (dad would definitely agree with that). if she wants to wear it, i guess we can talk about that and who thinks they would wear it more (it could be a regular winter jacket for me in windsor). if she wants it for her husband, i'm not sympathetic at all. he makes enough money to buy his own clothes. i don't. i mean, by giving it back, i'm giving up something that is very functional - a nice winter jacket that i'm not likely to be able to replace.

now, about that voucher. i don't want to fight about it, i just need to be able to plan accordingly. when we were in the bedroom the other day, you told me you had a voucher at sears and i could have it to get a couch. you didn't say how much it was. i was surprised and appreciative, but said something along the lines of that i'd take it in case i needed it for something else but i could probably just get some couches on the curb. as it turns out, i need at least a fridge (i'm still not sure if i need a stove or not). fridges are the kind of thing i'd rather get new, if i can. now, it's your voucher, so you get to decide what to do with it, but i just need to know if i can plan around that or not.

j

re: money

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

there's no way that odsp will cover a ticket, though. i'll look around a little bit and explore a bunch of different options and let you know what the best thing to do is.

nana pointed out that there are ways to rent just a space in a big rig and that it's a lot cheaper. u-haul has a page for 'truck sharing'. that would avoid the need for a driver and avoid the need to pay gas. hopefully, that works out...

i'll send her a polite email about the voucher, but if i can keep moving as cheap as possible it will give me more cash for those appliances.

re: money

From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

You should call budget rental and get a price estimate, because I cannot get one online as the cargo vans are request only. There is a budget on Somerset. When you call, ask about NOT returning it to the same location; it might be cheaper for you to send your driver home on the bus or whatever.

I don't know what a flat fee is for that, but regardless you need a fully licensed, +25 driver, with a valid credit card, to rent it and drive it there and back. Gas for a vehicle that size is about 20L/100km on average on the highway, so for 1600km you're looking at about $435 for gas with the gas at $1.35/L in addition to the rental price.

re: money

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

argh. she said she had a sears voucher she'd give me.

like i say, i'm hoping i can get something at a flat fee + gas. even if the flat fee is $500, that's still way cheaper. i just need to know what size i should be looking for.

re: money

From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

Yes, I would like the coat please. Given that I am pregnant with a boy, it would be nice to have.

the stepmother has no idea what couch vouchers you are referring to. Maybe email her directly about that.

As for a fridge and stove, buy a used set when you get there, it will be much cheaper and easier. We got our in Petawawa for $150 for the set, and they have never failed.

Moving your stuff would most likely fit in a cargo/panel van, because you have no furniture to move. You'd just have to pack it well

That does not include the 1600km to get the van there and back at 0.49 per kilometre, plus gas. You also require someone over 25 with a full G class license, and most likely a valid credit card for the loss damage waiver. Altogether this will be at least $1100 and that requires you to move your own stuff. There is the option of leaving the van in Windsor and thereby saving the return 800km, but they charge exhorbotent fees for that, and many van rental outlets won't even do it because they are franchised and the trucks belong to them.

All the funeral arrangements have been taken care of. No need to worry about that.

re: money

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

...plus, if the dollars don't add up, i could always get a bar fridge, instead. it's not like i keep a full fridge. i'm the type that would rather get a few things i need for a few days at a time than get big shopping orders once a month.

re: money

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

it's mostly the fridge. if it's almost enough for a cheap fridge, i can use the microwave. see, there's a discarded fridge and stove down there, but the fridge is useless. he said the stove is ok...

that probably sounds like a sketchy landlord. i don't think so. seems extremely fair, actually. drove me around town for a bit, even. really, he just didn't want to be responsible for replacing the appliances. seems like a standard rental thing, sure, but considering that this place would run for around $1200 + utilities in ottawa, and i'm getting it for $650 all inclusive in windsor, the profit margin on the rent is a lot lower. it's a bit of a shift in mindset: in windsor, property owners need to budget carefully, too. and, to be honest, that's fine with me, anyways. having a fridge and a stove is probably a benefit to me in the long run.

j

re: money

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

well, i was sitting with the surviving uncle, the oldest aunt and his mother when he gave it to me if you want witnesses. if you really want it back, i dunno. let me try it on again and think about it. it kind of fits me perfectly, but i'm honestly not sure how often i'd wear it, if at all. if you think you'd make better use of it...

excluding the stuff i'm taking to windsor, i think the only thing i'd ask is that i get first crack on the records and cds. there's quite a few in there that have been important to me over my life.

i'm a little skeptical about sending her an email right now, but i'm in town and can help plan. so let me know if there's anything i can do.

also, she had said something about giving me a sears voucher for couches. i can pick up some couches somewhere for free and am fine with doing that, but the place doesn't have a fridge or a stove. that voucher was factored into the decision to get the place, i just hope it's close to enough. i'm happy with the cheapest fridge and stove on the market....don't need fancy ice makers and timers and stuff...

i have the keys and the lease here. i can move in whenever, i just have to call ahead to let them know when. you know how italians traditionally have two kitchens, one in the basement? well, it's sort of like that, except with a separate entrance downstairs. recently renovated - very nice fancy italian stuff with the big half circle separating the living room from the kitchen. two bedrooms. nice bathroom.

what i want to find is somebody that will just rent a van for three days at a flat rate + gas. i don't know if i can do that, though. i think mom might be willing to drive and stay the night (she's talked about wanting to go down there ever since i told her).

esa has a room in a house lined up. i've offered space, and am not sure if she's going to take it in the end or not. but it should be a very small amount of stuff, as well. some string instruments, a keyboard, clothes...

the amount of things here i'd add is negligible. the stepmother’s a moving pro. can you ask her to tell me what size of van i'd need to fit my stuff in so i can look for that?

the last thing i need to do is go down to odsp tomorrow and have a chat.

j

Coat

From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

I would really appreciate it if you would return this coat to your sister. She did buy it for her father as a Christmas present. As well it is a man’s coat so I am not sure why you want it anyway.

re: money

From:  sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

No he didn't, and I bought it for him and want it back. Please bring it.

Should we expect you on Thursday? Have you signed a lease in Windsor?

re: money

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

he didn't lend it to me, he gave it to me. sorry.