if i had been able to use my gear over 2016, i wouldn't have spent all the time i spent analyzing the american election, and i wouldn't have produced all of this writing that they seem to find so damaging.

then, they claim i'm working for the russians because i'm able to correctly deconstruct the situation. no - i'm just wasting time, because i can't use my gear, because it has a very obviously audible bug in it. this is a situation of their own creation. call it blowback, even.

some people waste time by playing games on their phones. but, i'm a nerd. so i waste time by analyzing elections.

i'd rather use the gear.

but i can't record or mix over an echo or a redirected stream that i can't get rid of...

why haven't they figured out the obvious?

because they're completely fucking incompetent.

that's the uncomfortable truth: these frustrations are a function of their own uselesness.

if they were anywhere close to halfways competent, they would have figured out years ago that there is nothing to accomplish in spying on me, and left me alone to create.

as i've stated before: i don't even care if they spy on me.

i'm too boring to care. i don't do anything illegal; most of the time, i don't do anything at all. they can spy on me all they want...

that's not what's so amazingly depressing about the situation.

i need my gear to work; it's that i can't get the loopback out that is so saddening and frustrating and depressing.

i'm of no threat to anybody at all, but the state is intent on ruining my ability to create, in order to listen in, for no reason i can even make sense of.

it seems like the intelligence services have installed the same loopback software on this laptop that they had previously installed on my recording pc.

the best way i can describe this is knowing your phone is being tapped. if you're talking to somebody on the phone, you can hear that there is a third person on the line because the connection sounds "open". you can hear the empty space on the other side of the third person's line..

i've had to modify my network architecture to take account of this, by only connecting to the internet through a defined access point [although there are two, with the other one in the living room to watch videos on]. this appears to be being installed at the hardware level, because reinstalls after disconnecting from the internet haven't resolved it. and, i'm not even sure if these open lines are connecting anywhere - or merely distorting the sound signal.

because i've set this computer up this way, as an access point, the eavesdropping is acting solely on the level of an annoyance. i'm not mixing on this device. but, i don't understand what the point of eavesdropping on somebody that posts their entire life to the internet is.

and, i need to reiterate, yet again, that this is harmful to me - because this is what i do; this is my art.

i also need to point out that the logic is backwards - much like these smokers, that think smoking through my windows is going to get me to close them. unfortunately, the reason i've been spending time posting to the internet is that my recording gear is not functioning, partially because it's been hacked by the cia. this has been going on for years, now; i could and probably should be mostly through period 3 by now, but i haven't even been able to start it. so, they keep spying on me, for what reason i'm not entirely sure - maybe they think i'm secretly in kahoots with something or somebody, although it's hard to understand how the fact that i'm an introverted loner isn't obvious, given how much time i spent ranting on the internet.

it should be obvious that i simply don't have time to be in kahoots with anybody because i spend so much time typing. it's obviously the only thing i do, or have been doing for years.

so, the more they spy on me, the more typing i do - which is the thing they seem to want to prevent.

if they would stop spying on me already, i'd get back to doing what i actually care about.

again: it would be one thing if i wasn't so transparent, if i didn't type so much. but i'm literally constantly posting: videos...music...comments...essays...it's at the very centre of my existence. what can be accomplished by bugging the audio on my laptop?

i'm italian.

i like the smell of garlic.

again: i'm not running for office.

i don't care if i'm popular.

i'm not trying to appeal to the in-crowd, to hipsters, to the cool kids, whatever.

i am trying to sell weird music to nerds.

link on the side.

i have a really strong fashion aversion to any kind of jackets.

if you look at the options, they're all unacceptable. leather jackets are the most disgusting fashion decision in the history of fashion; denim is perhaps a close second. they're both utterly pretentious looking. then, you have to accessorize them...and who has time for that...

when it's so cold that you need a jacket then so be it. but i'd rather stick with the kinds of big, clunky things you get at walmart, and wear them as sparingly as possible.

the dmst show in december was an exception. but, i tend to just avoid the problem by staying in until i can just put a sweater on. that means i need the temperature to stay above five degrees, and the weather just hasn't been able to accomplish that.

i actually simply forgot about the lightning bolt show. i guess my head was elsewhere. but, i'm not sure i would have went. haven't heard any new material, and the weather was horrific. that said, it was a saturday, so i could have in theory made it home.

it's more the kind of thing i'd want to go to if it's nice out, because it's nice out.

the construction on the tunnel could be a problem for me this spring because it means i can't get to weekday shows without doing the overnight, and i might not want to do that.

that said, the weather is finally set to turn next week, it seems. i know it's been nice on the coasts, but detroit is stuck in a blocking pattern that has had us hovering at freezing for weeks. it felt like february all the way through march: dreary/overcast, cold and unpleasant. and, april has been shit so far, too.

even if it was a few degrees warmer, i could handle some things, but this is still winter jacket weather, and i just don't enjoy going out to places when it's like this.

i'm considering maybe going to see ymusic at the cube on saturday, but i don't know what they're going to play. i know them through their work with son lux, but i'm really not interested in their other projects; 00s indie rock is really the dredges of boring bullshit, and not worth trying to convert into a serious artform.

i am never running for office, anywhere, ever.

i'm not a spy. i'm not building a footprint for my own machinations.

i'm an artist with a smart analytical mind that's trying to sell you experimental classical music. the link is on the side.

that is all.

deal with it.

and, if the bastards want to shut me down and martyr me, they're just demonstrating how right i am - historically. because this is what they do to us. ask oscar wilde. fuck, ask socrates. and, i don't know if we'll ever know why john lennon died, either.

this is the way the world turns.

but, do you want to be the piece of shit that has to explain to history why i didn't make it to 40?

the idea that i'm a russian agent is the most intellectually bankrupt response to my criticism that can be imagined, and should be met with derision, scorn, contempt and disdain.

they have absolutely no shame at all, whatsoever.

there's no use in asking.

october is now complete.

i'll start with november after i eat.

http://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.ca/2015/10/the-reality-is-that-harper-faced-most.html

ultimately, surrogacy is something that should be left to the courts to work out, and defined through jurisprudence, not legislation.

and, i would expect substantive legal action against any attempt to create a market for human trafficking in canada.

https://collectif-corp.com/2018/02/02/surrogacy-stop-the-buying-and-selling-of-human-beings/

this is perhaps not surprising, as it is consistent with the marketization of everything that comes with the continuing expansion of neo-liberal dogma, but the premise of putting a price on human life should remain a non-starter.

the buying and selling of human beings was banned in canada in the early nineteenth century.

this has nothing to do with gay rights, and we should be shocked to hear anybody frame the issue in these terms.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/trudeau-it-s-time-to-talk-about-lifting-ban-on-paying-sperm-egg-donors-1.3871380

they should deport freeland to the united states.

i have no interest in voting for the democrats, which is what these new liberals are - democrats.

i want the liberal party back.

they're panicking far too early, and it's making them look like a bunch of retards.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/trudeau-cites-propaganda-on-foreign-affairs-minister-as-russian-interference-1.3871653