Friday, July 11, 2025

my immune system may be suffering a little from a lack of exposure.

- i have hep a antibodies. i believe i was vaccinated, as it is standard to do the twinrix for kids in canada.
- i have hep b antibodies, but at a level too low to prevent infection. i believe i was vaccinated against hep b at the same time as hep a.
- i do not have hep c antibodies, indicating no exposure. there's no vaccine for hep c,  but most people can beat it.
- i don't have measles antibodies. at all. i'm sure i was vaccinated, but measles prevalence in canada is pretty low. i'm herd immune; my immune system hasn't had to eat any measles in so long that it doesn't bother preparing the antibodies.
- i have no evidence of exposure to hiv or to syphillis

i had to test this based on what's been going on here. i don't think they have at any point physically raped me, but they've drugged me in very disgusting ways, and it's the kind of thing that is very difficult to shake. i have no evidence i've been physically raped and no memory of it if it happened. i should leave it at that.

it does suggest that my lack of exposure to general pathogens over the last three years has reduced my immune response slightly, and i should be careful about that. i mean, i don't have leukemia, and i don't have aids, but you have to use your immune system or it breaks. it is really true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

i have noticed this; my response to allergies since april has been atrocious. i have had a constant runny nose for months.

everything else has come in reasonably well. i'll point out i tested around 11:00 am, which is right before i take my pills, and means this is the lowest point in a 12 hour cycle. i take t blockers every six hours but double up at noon and midnight. i take estrogen and progesterone every six hours, but also double up at noon and midnight, and swap sources every 6 hours. it should peak in the mid afternoon and in the early morning and dip before noon and before midnight. 11:00 am is about as low as it gets.

i did that on purpose. so interpret these results in that context:

- estrogen @ 452 (this is the trough, i haven't tested it recently at peak), which is perfect. the clinical rec for transgendered women is above 450, so if i'm troughing at 450, that's ideal. few post-menopausal women will maintain estradiol at that level. i don't menstruate or have a typical female cycle, but i go through a daily cycle of around 450-900, which is kind of crazy in a biological female context. cis-women don't fluctuate like that daily, they do it over a longer period from much lower to much higher. post-menopausal targets are generally more like 300ish. i've designed my hormone regimen to keep myself constantly high, rather than go through massive swings. i have a theory that the high suicide rates among transwomen are connected to the method of distribution, via injection. if i took injections (and my doctor periodically tries to talk me into it, because it's 'normal'), it would peak at up to 3000 and then fall to almost 0 over the month, which is a level of pms no cis woman has to suffer through. it's utterly insane the way they do it. no wonder so many of us kill ourselves. i have instead set this up in a way to ensure everything gets cycled repeatedly as estrone, which keeps me stabilized, and have consistently tested my estrone at levels in the several thousand. estrone is only weakly feminizing, but it reduces bad cholesterol, and is why my cholesterol is so insanely good. the estrogen at 450 indicates i'm getting enough, but this comes with a caveat, as the amount i'm taking is extremely high. it should be higher than that, really; that i'm troughing at 450 given how much i take is actually evidence i'm being drugged with testosterone or steroids, and that those drugs aren't working very well but are merely kind of dulling the edge off of my feminizing hormones. the estradiol is winning the fight. i expected that and have tried to explain, but they don't fucking listen.

- progesterone @ 19.9, which is pretty high in any context. that's like pregnant levels of progesterone.
- prolactin @30, which is due to the pregnant progesterone levels and is very good for breast size. 
- fsh & lh at 0. which is more pregnant biochemistry.

what?

no, i can't get pregnant. yet. one day, they might be able to stick a womb in there, but that's pretty tricky stuff, really. i would consider it not worth it, especially in my 40s.

- testosterone was at 0.5, which indicates i'd recently been drugged. it's usually at <0.3. 

my vitamin d was at 80, vitamin b12 was at 278 and my ferritin was at 34. i get my b12 from nutritional yeast, which i eat a lot of, and my iron from spices like oregano. i'm happy with my iron a little lowish, so long as it's not at the dangerous levels (under 10) it was at before. at 34, i'm not hauling around excess stores of iron, but i can create the hemoglobin i need.

my rbcs were at 3.67 and my hb was at 122. these are right at the bottom of normal female variability, and i've gotten used to that. it's predictable, and fine. my targets are that i want to keep my rbcs above 3.5 and my hb above 110. i have tested with rbcs <3 and my hb <100 in the last five years, and can't have that. these results are comparably healthy.

random glucose was 4.9, which is pretty low, and actually in a healthy range for fasting glucose. i had not been fasting. i had eaten a big bowl of soup after midnight and was working on an xl double double when i walked in; i didn't even think about it, as i was focusing on the t. i have no reason to be worried about diabetes. hba1c is 5, which is in the zero risk range.

non-fasting random cholesterol was 4.18 with hdl at 1.29 and ldl at 2.32. this is not as useful as a fasting test, but is just about ideal, for what it is. i have minimal concern about my cholesterol, which frequently tests my good cholesterol higher than my bad cholesterol, which is so healthy it's incoherent. like, you can't even make sense of that, it's so healthy.

i am mildly concerned about my kidneys, which goes back to being drugged. i'm also a little concerned about my liver. my egfr keeps coming in weird, but the issue is that there is evidence that my kidneys are being overworked, which is what i keep pointing out i'm concerned about, rather than evidence of any kind of decreased function or failure. so, my creatinine and albumin are both high, but the ratio is actually very, very low. this really continues to point in the direction that i'm being drugged with steroids, as these are both waste products from muscle building. as was the case with the ecg a few months ago, this is something you see in body builders. i am not a body builder, i do not lift weights, i do not take protein supplements, i do not take steroids and i am not interested in building muscle. the exercise i do is aerobic (walking, bicycling) and intended to lose weight, not build muscle. it's hard to make sense of this, except to point out that it looks like i'm on anabolic steroids. this may be a better argument to present as evidence of being drugged than the t levels, as my t blockers are effectively clearing the t, leaving the creatinine and albumin behind as proof. the urine creatinine is 37.84, which is over twice the reference range, and the urine albumin is 19, which is at the top of the range. the ratio is 0.5, which is relatively low. however, blood creatinine and ck (kidney tests) are in the reference ranges (88 and 68, respectively) and blood alt, for liver testing, is actually quite low (21). together, low blood levels and high urine levels suggest i'd recently cleared my system of the steroids, which may be building up in my bladder.

the results suggest that my liver and kidneys are both working fine, even extremely well, but it's producing a bottleneck at the actual excretion point. that is a lot of pissed out creatinine, which just demonstrates my point about the drugging being futile. the evidence is that i'm very successfully getting this shit out of me, and it isn't staying in my system very long - a few days, max. that's what i had deduced and why i wanted to be very careful about getting tested at the right time to catch it.

i need to remain concerned about my kidney and liver health, but what these results suggest is that my kidneys are working exceedingly well in very efficiently clearing the steroids, not that they're failing. i can't continue to push my luck. i'm not getting younger.

my tsh is at 0.74 which is about as low as you can get.

i am still waiting for a "broad spectrum toxicology screen" lab result to see if i can pick up anything like methamphetamines.

overall, i remain in startlingly good health. i would consider these results strong evidence i'm being drugged with steroids and will be presenting them to police as such.
canada is ready for an explicitly atheist, mature political movement on the democratic left.

i would be looking at having this bloc-influenced secular left party essentially replace the ndp, which is too religious, in english canada.
what trump proved is that a sanders-type political candidate didn't fail because of his economic positions, but because of his paleo-right social positions. while sanders was happening, the right was abandoning these views and walking into a vacuum left by the left's retreat from secularism.

if sanders ran as an atheist and a secularist rather than as a family-values conservative, he would win.
i'm considering launching a new secular political party in english canada that is based on the bloc quebecois' secularist politics and roots itself in the enlightenment and french revolution and has the explicit goal of altering the constitution to strengthen the separation of church and state by indicating explicitly in the constitution that canada is a secular society.

if you think this is a good idea, send me an email.

my politics are laid out here over many years. they're pretty clear. i'm an old skool socialist that finds myself aligned with the alt right on issues of religion and culture, and wants to correct that by rebuilding a traditional atheist left, to realign the economic left to where it used to be on cultural issues.
canada has issues with food security, but tariffs are the dumbest conceivable approach.

rather, we need direct investment in local greenhouses - which have, in recent years, been increasingly wasted on growing marijuana.

canada has issues with local pharmaceutical production and the manufacture of medical equipment, but tariffs don't address any of the causes of the problems, they just increase costs and make things worse.

again, we need direct investment to build industry.

we can pay for this direct investment by taxing the americans when they buy our exports.
canada is not interested in darwinian-style capitalism and doesn't want to participate in trump's schemes. 

we should broadcast that with our behaviour. we should act like adults and punish the americans for acting like children.
the situation isn't equal and it's not helpful to pretend it is.

we have industry that manufacturers for their market because it costs less. trump wants to increase costs to create jobs. that isn't rational, and may kill the industry altogether, but they can do that.

they don't have industry that manufactures for us, even if they sell things here. we'd have to force them to build parallel everything, which is inefficient and expensive, and they won't do it.

we're better off letting them sell things here cheaply and sending them a bill for their antisocial behaviour. we should be unilaterally applying tort law on them, and holding them liable for failing to adhere to kantian ethics. we can do that with export taxes.

there will not be a trade deal signed before august 1st, or at all.
at best, we can try to shift import sources from the us to mexico or brazil. that might hurt them, but it doesn't benefit us.

our strategy should be focused on self-interest, not on harming others.
are there industries that currently manufacture in the us for the canadian market that we can bring to canada by increasing tariffs?

i can't think of anything.

we'd simply be punishing our own people. we should not do that.
responding with tariffs doesn't help canadians.

canada is currently beset with weak leadership. it needs to grow a pair and slap down some export taxes.

i'm utterly disgusted - and baffled and shocked - by mark carney's attempt to channel sarah palin.
yeah, smelling the burnt one a few times has me feeling pretty sick. ugh.

on second thought, i think there is a coil in the other one. i'd like to find a way to test the components, before i buy anything.
i am expecting i won't find a direct replacement. i might find a used diaphram. i think this is beyond that. 

i sent a query to celestion as to what other models of tweeters they might recommend.
i'm looking for two t3679 tweeters.

i'm going to want to compare costs for replacing the diaphrams with just buying new tweeters. i'm apprehensive that replacing the diaphrams won't be enough and i should just replace the whole things.
i think it's possible that the 20 watt nad wasn't enough for the celestions, and it took a few weeks for the damage to build up. you can blow a tweeter like this by underpowering it.
the other tweeter does have a coil, but it smells like it was recently burnt and has clear damage to it. i suspect this tweeter can be fixed, but i don't really know how. 

it worked as recently as june 29th, as i was able to play the tears for fears record on that date. that would indicate that the tweeter was damaged sometime after that.

i remember turning it on briefly on the 1st and i do recall a short in the system that i traced to a faulty rca wire and replaced. 

was that the cause of my headache? i'll note i smelled a strong burning smell.

whatever the cause, these speakers are not usable for the foreseeable future and i'm going to have to plan around it. i now have a vintage burnt out celestion tweeter, and a tweeter that doesn't seem to be labelled (or lost it's label) that has no coil.

given that they're both blown, i should just buy two new tweeters, in a matching set, and plug them in.
one of the tweeters has no coil. i have to presume that's the one that never worked. let me open up the other one.
in a small room, i need at least one tweeter. i don't want to listen to bass music.
they were working a few weeks ago.

 set up the jvc and the panasonic, which was the previous known good. i'm going to play through the tears for fears with the bass set to 0 and the treble set to 10 over and over for a while and hope they "come back".

i noticed that they are currently both depressed. that was not the case previously; previously only one was depressed. but they have no markings and no way to tell which is which.
something i might consider doing is buying a pair of separate tweeters and putting them on top of the celestions through the second speaker out, but i don't think that will sound very good

i don't have time for this right now.

so, there's no music in the bedroom for the foreseeable future because the speakers are broken. unfortunately. 
the tweeter in my other celestion has recently broken :(.

i don't know if they're worth fixing or if i should just throw them out, but they're entirely unlistenable at this point. there's no frequency response above 2000 Hz. it sounds like a cell phone. gross.

i'm not 13 years old and i can't listen to music through a cell phone.