i think it's just too much calcium, actually - and i eat a lot of cheese and fortified soy milk as it is. i'd probably just be putting myself at risk for kidney stones, as i piss most of it out.

if i ever test deficient for calcium, i can try it, i guess.

for now, i'm thinking it'll likely end up in a park. just don't let your kids play in the dirt....

i decided against composting my eggshells at the community compost. i wasn't ever really sure those kids were doing it right...

should i just eat them?

i'm thinking i could microwave them to kill whatever's left (they've been left frozen.) and then mash them up and add them to my smoothies.

i need to do more research than this...

the other option, i'm thinking, is to leave them outside in a park. that might sound gross at first. but, the calcium takes a long time to breakdown, which is the reason it's maybe not the best thing for actual compost. so, you want to put them in places where the soil is more continually utilized, so they can replenish the soil as the calcium comes out.

https://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/01/science/eating-the-shell-along-with-the-egg.html

they could always try and evict me, but it would be faster and cheaper to pay me out, considering i actually want to leave, so i'm not sure why they'd make a bad choice like that.

and, i think i was clear enough about that in my letter.

at the least, if he gets proper legal advice, it should get me a clear answer on an eviction attempt downstairs, which is not likely to be successful - which i pointed out clearly in the letter.

well, the property manager claims that the building owner is in the process of contacting his lawyer.

i don't know if that means that he's planning on carrying through with an eviction or planning on buying me out. but, that was pretty much the only answer i could accept without moving to the next step.

and, i guess they'll have until monday to get me a response.

the cheapest and easiest thing to do is to buy me out, and i'll happily take the offer.

how much do you figure a free elizabeth shirt is going to cost?

this might even bring back pemberton.

judges aren't usually this daft. must be a harper appointee. but, i'll take the free martyr.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/elizabeth-may-kennedy-stewart-kinder-morgan-arrest-court-appearance-1.4611437

i'm home.

compost run done; freezer clear. it actually feels good, for some reason.

and my grandmother called when i was out.

she does indeed sound pretty rough, which i'm noticing for the first time.

i've never meant to ignore her, i just live in my own head. so, i need to call nana first, and then the property manager second.

i had to pick between the university and the community centre, and i went with the community centre. it's where the community garden ought to be.

they do the free food thing. i like that...

if you have one of these things around, and you probably do, give them your food scraps.

it's really the least you can do. literally.

https://www.facebook.com/FordCityCommunityGarden/

you know, being able to bicycle to the tunnel kind of opens the city up, if i have to move.

it opens up a larger area to exist within...

i'm going to give the property manager to the end of the day before i call her, just to make sure she's received proper instructions - and because i'm curious about whether the banging i heard around 22:00 was my door or not (i was asleep, and not sure where it was coming from...nobody was there when i got up...but it was a while later...i sleep through anything and often literally can't get up when awoken, if not expecting it...).

yeah, well, they'd better have a nice tidy list in place by the next election.

https://www.nationalobserver.com/2018/04/11/news/trudeau-government-puts-massive-investments-get-public-transit-track

maybe the buddhists got a few things right, in the mess of things they got wrong.

you check via the scientific method.

any similarities in thought are strictly coincidental, and of little concern to me.

"why don't you just get stoned and create?"

because you can't create anything when you're stoned - it is a condition that is antithetical to creative expression.

creativity requires clear thinking through the proper observation of sobriety.

what inebriation is good for is numbing the pain of repetitive tasks. it is good for low wage workers that just need something to help them through the day, or people that can't find a purpose in a system that is designed to make it impossible to find one.

but, nobody uses drugs to make music - or at least not to make music worth listening to.

and, perhaps you might want to actually listen to the music i create to hear how distant it is from marijuana culture. it's basically classical music.

there was a period, from 2011-2013, where i didn't have access to my gear, and i really did just get drunk and stoned all of the time. i spent this period living with my grandmother and hanging out with occupy protestors.

when you take away my ability to create, i lose focus. and it follows that if you insist that i get fucked up all of the time then the way to do that is to separate me from a purpose.

but, that changed over five years ago.

when i first moved to windsor, i stopped drinking & smoking almost altogether; although it took a few years to get a handle on the cigarettes, i really did quit smoking in the winter of 2015/2016. i have relapsed for a few weeks at a time since, but i have not and will not go back to this.

i have also since spent some extended periods partying on weekends, but this is actually mostly an act of depression. i would rather be sitting in my room by myself recording, but i haven't been able to do this, so i've gone out and gotten drunk instead.

i have never habitually smoked marijuana, nor have i ever wanted to do so. given that i have smoked it sporadically and recreationally for over 20 years without having developed any desire to convert it into a habit, i'm just about the lowest probability target you could imagine in terms of becoming a regular, daily-smoking marijuana addict. that is not going to happen.

however, the more separated i become from my art due to constant distraction and inability to create, the more likely i am to sink into daily alcohol use, as i become more and more depressed and more and more distraught. while marijuana may end up as a complement to this alcohol use, it is not going to reverse that depression. nor do i want to become a daily marijuana user, have i ever seen myself as a daily marijuana user or will i ever conceptualize myself in these terms.

this is simply not who i am.

i was in bed around 19:00 last night, but the smoke was so horrible that it woke me up around 22:00. i spent some time cleaning and slept all morning. so, i am going to follow through with the process within a few hours, and seek clarity on the building's approach: will they seek eviction or not?

any other answer besides "yes, we are seeking eviction" will leave me no choice but to assume they are not doing so, and to formally request repairs to the unit below me.

and, if they acknowledge they are seeking eviction, at whatever difficulty, i'll have to sit tight and wait it out.