"j.

i didn't ask for flowers, i asked for flour. i need flour right away. get back out there and buy me some flour, and don't come back until you have some."

(i hadn't seen her in like three months)

but, then, i pulled the flour out of my bag...

some of it made it to it's intended use.

i did spend some time with sarah's daughter, whether she's mine or not. not a lot, mind you, but enough that she knew my name, and felt comfortable with me and could identify me as a safe adult that she knew - i.e. not a stranger - in a busy group of people that she didn't. sarah brought her over to my apartment on bronson on a few occasions; she liked to take the cds off the shelf and throw them on the ground, and thought it was exceedingly comical when they plopped open. i was invited over to sarah's (more than) a few times, too, and she was usually there, including on the night that she asked me to bring flour and i brought her flowers, and pretended that i misunderstood her.

"what? you asked for them, right? i got the right colours, it's ok."

(she pretended to be mad that i didn't bring flour, because she was cooking. but, i actually did bring flour, too, thereby robbing her of her faux outrage. those flowers apparently lasted over two years on the kitchen table, so she couldn't have been too upset.)

i've written a couple of songs about her daughter, even; they'll come up in the fourth phase, not the upcoming third.

i gave her a few presents. i grew up with where the sidewalk ends, and thought that made sense to pass on, but i'm not sure if sarah loved the book that much.

i'm pretty sure that the last time i saw her was in mid-2012 at a lingering occupy ottawa event in confederation park. i was there with a group of regular activists for some kind of sage bath. sarah was there with an ad-hoc singing group she was involved with, doing we shall overcome. her daughter (and also her son, who is a little younger) identified me while sarah was busy singing and ran over to say hi to me, before she could grab them. i made eye contact with sarah briefly when i saw them coming; she looked away, indicating that that was fine, she'd rather sing right then, and that's a safe choice. but, i was on my way back from a drinking and smoking session with these activists, and decided that didn't make as much sense as sarah was intuiting. so, i made eye contact with the daughter and pointed towards sarah, and they both skittered off in the right direction.

that wasn't the last time i saw sarah, but if i saw her daughter after that, i don't remember it.

i was going to buy tickets for a few things, but, on second thought, i'll wait.

i got a ticket for the big end of the summer 13-hr four year anniversary marble show, which i labelled "luke vibert" but is actually downright stacked. and, i'll be there until 9:00 am, too, i always am. but, that makes buying a ticket for man man a little earlier somewhat perilous, until i get a set time. 98% of the time, i don't care about missing the dj, but i don't want to miss vibert to catch man man - i'll catch man man again next time, and vibert may never come back. if it fits, it's a hell of a way to start a long ass party. if it doesn't, i'll just go to marble to start. we'll see in a bit...

there's no way i'm missing fly pan am, but i think i can wait until i get to the door. blanck mass is pretty certain, with a caveat around the weather (but a weak one - it would have to be brutal out).

if i get a strong pull for something before then, i'll go, absolutely. but, if it doesn't work out, and i think it might not, then i could have a ridiculous blow-out to end the year, in the same way i started it.

i didn't technically work out the last weekend in september. we'll see how it develops.

but, for right now, this actually turned out to be a bit of a heavier month. we'll see what the weather is like, and which shows make sense and which don't. most of this will get scratched, so i'm going to tentatively scratch out what i'm almost sure i'll scratch out in the end.

as organized, by weekend:

iffy. weather?:
05: silence in the snow (wolves in the throne room side project) @ sanctuary.
06: big business @ deluxx fluxx
07: haptikos + asklepius @ new dodge.
08: vermont + mover shaker @ phoenix (hazel park) v. snarky puppy @ hill (ann arbor) v. heavy temple  @ new dodge (hamtramck)

=====================

unlikely. weather? cost?:
12: strange beautiful music festival @ trinosophes v massive attack @ masonic temple v. hot snakes @ small's
13: strange beautiful music festival @ detroit instiute of arts v hide @small's
14: strange beautiful music festival @ dso
16: ride @ st andrew's v cursive @ blind pig
17: mega bog @ outer limits

========================

certain (in some combination):
20. dream syndicate @ third man  ---> severed heads @ leland
21: man man @ magic stick  -----> luke vibert (plug) @ marble
22: tunic  @ phog (windsor)
23: pig (raymond watts) @ small's
24: fly pan am  @ meteor (windsor)
25: north by north @ sanctuary v. king buffalo @ pj's
26: psychedelic porn crumpets @ loving touch
27: blanck mass @ ufo

i'll work out the end part of the last weekend of the month closer to it.

for now, i guess i need to get some groceries done and get back to the rebuild, as i listen through this stuff and make choices about it.

i'd actually never heard of louis ck before the scandal hit, have still never seen him perform and don't really have anything invested in defending him. like, i just don't know anything at all about him.

but. it didn't strike me as particularly terrible. he asked, right? but i don't really know.