i did spend some time with sarah's daughter, whether she's mine or not. not a lot, mind you, but enough that she knew my name, and felt comfortable with me and could identify me as a safe adult that she knew - i.e. not a stranger - in a busy group of people that she didn't. sarah brought her over to my apartment on bronson on a few occasions; she liked to take the cds off the shelf and throw them on the ground, and thought it was exceedingly comical when they plopped open. i was invited over to sarah's (more than) a few times, too, and she was usually there, including on the night that she asked me to bring flour and i brought her flowers, and pretended that i misunderstood her.

"what? you asked for them, right? i got the right colours, it's ok."

(she pretended to be mad that i didn't bring flour, because she was cooking. but, i actually did bring flour, too, thereby robbing her of her faux outrage. those flowers apparently lasted over two years on the kitchen table, so she couldn't have been too upset.)

i've written a couple of songs about her daughter, even; they'll come up in the fourth phase, not the upcoming third.

i gave her a few presents. i grew up with where the sidewalk ends, and thought that made sense to pass on, but i'm not sure if sarah loved the book that much.

i'm pretty sure that the last time i saw her was in mid-2012 at a lingering occupy ottawa event in confederation park. i was there with a group of regular activists for some kind of sage bath. sarah was there with an ad-hoc singing group she was involved with, doing we shall overcome. her daughter (and also her son, who is a little younger) identified me while sarah was busy singing and ran over to say hi to me, before she could grab them. i made eye contact with sarah briefly when i saw them coming; she looked away, indicating that that was fine, she'd rather sing right then, and that's a safe choice. but, i was on my way back from a drinking and smoking session with these activists, and decided that didn't make as much sense as sarah was intuiting. so, i made eye contact with the daughter and pointed towards sarah, and they both skittered off in the right direction.

that wasn't the last time i saw sarah, but if i saw her daughter after that, i don't remember it.