Saturday, August 9, 2025
how am i feeling?
this morning was weird. i did not intend to sleep. i wanted to rest my legs and get up to eat. i did pass out around 7:00. they woke me up a few times, the last time around 11:00, feeling very minimally agitated.
i wouldn't even describe this as ten seconds. i'd describe this as increased blood flow, maybe even due to high progesterone. however, it hung on after i got up to urinate and, without causing any actual effects, was painful enough to prevent me from going back to sleep.
i had to roll over and think this through.
i hadn't eaten in 30+ hours. forget about food, then. i was metabolizing fat. i know that we store lots of toxins in our fat tissue, and it's a different way that carrying around extra fat, or extra muscle, or extra weight in general, is a health risk. mercury, for example, builds up in your fat deposits. so i rolled over and checked it and steroids do actually build up in your fat tissue.
it follows that if i was in ketosis due to not eating this morning, i was releasing the steroid toxins that were stored in my body fat, as i was metabolizing it. the results would be similar to eating something that had been drugged. i was being drugged by my own fat cells.
this indicates the potential problems and complications associated with drugging somebody. it's true enough that i would now have toxic testosterone molecules sitting in my my body cells, and it's going to take months or years to truly get rid of it. in the short run, i want to make sure i'm eating enough to prevent myself from burning stored tissues, until i can get to burning more of it off with cardio, which i'd hope should just excrete the toxic steroids through urine.
sure enough, i made some pasta and fell back to sleep to get the rest i missed this morning and i woke up perfectly limp, as i should. i was no longer in ketosis, i was now metabolizing the food i just ate.
i think i've got this problem figured out.
i bought a 1.5 L jug of grapefruit juice and a 3 L jug of orange juice at the same store at the same time. they're the same brand, even.
the amount of sugar, per serving, is the same - 21 or 22 g per 250 ml.
there is a warning on the orange juice, but not the grapefruit juice. why?
because the grapefruit is a 1.5 L jug and the orange juice is a 3 L jug, so the jug of orange juice has twice as much total sugar.
when labeling is this stupid, it creates ignorance and confusion. it does the opposite of what it's supposed to. frankly, i can read the ingredients, and i don't need a misleading label to confuse me. this system should be abolished outright.
"ukraine doesn't have any cards."
you think ukraine is game?
if ukraine wants to keep fighting a losing war, i guess that's up to them. however, it's increasingly looking like they'll have to buy weapons from europe to do it.
if i were putin, i wouldn't think it makes sense to stop now. ukraine is weak. russia should have prioritized getting to the dnieper from the start.
this is going to cause a ripple effect, as it blocks iran off from russia and limits china's ability to move goods through iran. the iranians have succeeded in preventing this up to now.
we'll see if it lasts.
i would hope that the implication is that the russians are cluing in to who they're really fighting against.
"if we were secular humansts, we wouldn't be able to sing carols at christmas"
sure you would! you're mostly singing pagan hymns, anyways. those reindeer are norse gods.
i will stand up for your right to singing childish songs at whatever age, whether you believe in it or not.
the longer that people that don't really believe it continue to drag this awful iron age book around, the stronger the threat that people will take it seriously again one day. if you actually agree with me that the bible is a threat to human freedom, then put the book on the shelf in the library, leave it for curators and walk away from it.
this is a cynical pr move to reverse declining membership. i actually think it's backwards. the fire and brimstone sells more dues and fills more pews.
but does anybody even know where these people get their theology from nowadays?
it doesn't appear to be christian dogma, which is clear that the fags are going to hell.
it is actually true that a big grapefruit would have more total sugar than a mars bar, but a mars bar has more added sugar and that's what the system should be concerned about. i'm actually trying to rationalize my argument, as you eat a chocolate bar all at once. you don't drink a 3 L container of juice at once.
the glycemic index is more important:
mars bar - glycemic index of 62, glycemic load of 20
grapefruit - glycemic index of 25, glycemic load of 4
3 L jug of orange juice - glycemic load of 125, but you don't drink it at once
500 ml glass of orange jucie - glycemic index of 40, glycemic load around 15
glycemic index of 55 or lower is low.
you should eat the grapefruit, unless you just had a blood test and fasted the last 15 hours.
these food label warnings introduced by the trudeau government are baffling dumb and should be outright abolished.
as an example, there is a sugar warning on orange juice and no sugar warning on a chocolate bar i bought the other day after a blood test. the reason is that the test doesn't appear to differentiate between natural and added sugar. the 3 L container of orange juice would perhaps have more total sugar than the 100 g chocolate bar, but that is of no relevance to anybody's health. no health body has ever suggested orange juice is going to give you diabetes or make you fat. it's one of the most healthy substance available, and it's glycemic index is quite low.
this system would tell you to eat a mars bar instead of a grapefruit.
in addition to garlic face, my scalp smells like vinegar. it's enough that conditioner interacts with it and alters the smell of the product. i wasn't cooking with coconut and hot sauce tonight, i was just washing my hair with moisturizing conditioner.
that was a long shower and i needed it. i'm not done yet. my face is clearing back up, but my hair is going to need a few more days of five hour shampoo & conditioner baths to recover from getting bleached with steroid sweat. when i'm detoxed, my normal sweat has a lot of estrogen and acts as a cleanser; this dirty poison steroid sweat makes me filthy, all around. yuck.
i'll just have to do that again tomorrow. and the next night. and again until it's done.
i haven't eaten yet, but i'm kind of exhausted from the shower.
my hair is certainly better than it was a few hours ago.
i was holding on to a little constipation for much of today. i pooped it out this evening and i'm feeling fully cleared out and pretty stable.
i bought a lot of bacon last time i was out for the poutine, but the poutine is hot and sour soup based, and i still need to eat through these red peppers before they rot. there's two big ones and a fair amount of mini ones left, then two yellows and a bowl full of orange peppers. the potatoes are still ok. i don't have enough avocadoes left and need to buy more soon, so i should focus on using those items up and plan around getting to the blood lab for a clean test as soon as i can, maybe even as soon as monday.
i did dye my hair. it's very bleached. i tried to let the conditioner sit in it and it just dried right out and frizzed up. as mentioned previously, i know that the sweat i'm producing when drugged with steroids is having a devastating effect on my hair, so i've been waiting this out a little. i have to detox first, and then wash my hair. i can take the status of my hair as a good indicator of whether i've cleared my system out.
i still have a lot of pasta to eat and that's the best way to eat the ingredients i still have, for at least a few more days. what i'm going to do is make some pasta with bacon instead of bison or chicken, which can stay in the freezer, and homemade hot sauce. i know the homemade hot sauce is fine. i know the bacon is fine. if the pasta still triggers me after thst, i'll have to look at other causes to isolate and neutralize.
i'm still waiting for a call from a seconder for my srs letter. i'll be talking to my doctor again in a few days and intend to bring that up.
the thing about the heat in this region this summer is that it hasn't been extreme. it's been constant. in recent years, we've sometimes had these heat domes sink in, but they lift, and then you get a week of below seasonal weather. it balances out to a 27 or 28 degree average, but what that means here is that sometimes it's 35 and sometimes it's 24.
this year, it's been above seasonal pretty much every single day, but it hasn't swung into any extreme heat events. the hottest days have been under 35. we haven't come close to 40.
my perception is that this should consequently actually be interpreted as a cold summer, relative to the new normal, which is the old normal cranked up several degrees. if this was 30 years ago, it would be a summer where every day is 25, and without heat swings.
i wish i was able to go out and enjoy the weather but i've instead been dealing with these losers drugging me with garbage hormones in a conscious attempt to make me unattractive and depressed. i like this weather. i want to go out to all night dance parties in detroit and have fun. i can't. i'm stuck yelling at disgusting losers to smoke their drugs away from the house.
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