sorry, the previous study had a ratio of 1.25.

the 3:2 ratio came from this study, which is very old:

https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/mothers-milk-amino-acid-profile-from-biological-chemistry.pdf

it's actually 1.42.

does human milk contain taurine or glutathione?

taurine: yes, but i'm going to stick with my previous deductions, of 100 mg/day.

glutathione: you can't absorb it, so it doesn't matter....

so, the milk studies should suggest a ratio of around 1.25-1.5. 1.5 would be a nice, round upper limit - and i'd have to add in the 100 mg/day for taurine on top of it.

that means if minimum methionine requirements are around 10-11, minimum cysteine requirements would be 12.5-16.5 + 100 mg.

this is starting to stabilize.

ok, so i'm going to try to get this done tonight. again.

listen, if you follow the source material, it's clear enough that this is a question without a clear answer. so, i'm currently compiling a list of best guesses, and i'm going to try to find a solution that takes them all into account.

here's another observation: if you check out this link, humans are very different than any other animal (except rats) in the cysteine:methionine ratio of their milk. we actually have more cysteine in our milk than methionine! again - is that a hint? i'm going to take it as one.

if the ratio of cysteine:methionine in human milk is about 3:2, maybe that's something to strive for, roughly, in the absence of better data. it's consistent with what i'm deducing, at least.

http://scholar.google.ca/scholar_url?url=https://www.academia.edu/download/49337378/Amino_acid_composition_of_human_milk_is_20161004-5347-1k12hxa.pdf&hl=en&sa=X&ei=xMoTYKv8A9KE6rQPgJa78Ac&scisig=AAGBfm3ssHxTHUBS0WRVVxdV8Fi8JhzvgA&nossl=1&oi=scholarr

these other mammals, including cow and goat, are all leaning heavily towards methionine balance in the ratio. even cats - which are obligate carnivores and have very high taurine requirements - had higher levels of methionine. so, the obvious answer that cows eat grass and mothers eat all sorts of stuff doesn't really fly. it's kind of curious. but, it's a good hint...

i don't want to allow comments here - my email address is on the side, if you want to have a debate. i'll edit it and post it, in the end.

i'm just a target for trolls...

but, there's a follow link up on the side, now.

the manhattan project was a bipartisan, cross-national collaboration to put science at the forefront of the country's future, that policy makers could cite to work up feelings of national purpose in order to shatter opposition with.

the new deal was a highly contentious - if entirely necessary - set of policies that has largely been undone over time and instantly sets 40% of the country against it every time you mention it.

so, of course fake left media pundits point to the new deal instead of the manhattan project. why would you expect otherwise?

so, he came down here and i could smell it on him. but, the more i state the logic and facts of the situation, the angrier he gets about it. he's made his position clear - he's just going to yell and deny. yell and deny. yell and deny.

hopefully, i got under his skin enough to get him to adjust a little. that's all i want. i don't care what he does in some abstract universal sense, i care if i can tell, in it's specific & direct effects on me.

i have never, ever smoked inside, either. this is the worst situation i've been in since i was 15.

when i got a place with sarah, and we were splitting on rent, i even forced her to smoke outside. she was paying $500/month to smoke outside, while cohabiting with a smoker. that was in 2004, and that's how insistent i've been on outside smoking, for my whole life.

every place i've ever lived in was outside smoking, exclusively.

this is why: it makes me viciously sick, and i know it and have for decades.

yes. 

i'm serious.

it's baffling, but it seems like my landlord signed a non-smoking lease with me in absolute bad faith. he tricked me into moving in here, and chain smokes inside with the doors closed. then, he feigns shock and surprise when i accuse him of smoking, and lies to my face about it.

it's baffling.

the only sense i can make of it is that i signed a lease with the police - and that the cops up there, which actually seem to rotate, don't give a fuck. i got tricked into moving into some kind of heavily monitored holding cell, and am basically under perpetual surveillance. the thing is that this adds up with everything else.

it's the only way i can make sense of how or why somebody would behave so absurdly.

it's frustrating that it's come to this, but this might be the closest thing i can get to actionable evidence in a situation where a landlord smokes inside with the doors closed and the blinds drawn, and then lies about it when confronted about it.

i think these are the first pictures of me that i've published anywhere since about 2017. these are my 40 year-old, very skinny, totally unfake and makeupless lips:

do you see the red rash around my lips?

what's happening there is called contact dermatitis, and is essentially an allergic reaction to second-hand smoke. and, i know that because i went through it for much of my early childhood over and over. i used to have to go to school looking like that every day, due to my mother's smoking habits. it's in exactly the same spot (when i was a kid, it was often more widespread) and is exactly the same rash, triggered by exactly the same process.

for whatever reason, it doesn't happen when i smoke outside - it's exclusively a reaction to second-hand smoke.

so, i can complain about migraines, and i can hack and wheeze. and i can get overwhelmed by the stench and puke, but so long as he just lies about it, there's nothing i can really do.

if i break out into a rash, though, i can present that as evidence - and, then, everything else becomes actionable, too.

obviously, i don't like the rash. but, it might be a blessing in disguise in a case where i've been trying to generate evidence for, literally, years, and can't.

the best thing that could be done is a massive manhattan-project style investment drive from the feds, but that doesn't seem likely.

as such, americans are best off supporting local representatives to protect their own backyards than federal ones. and, that's how you get regulations passed in places like kentucky, to protect the local watershed.

the president is not intended to be a domestic policy legislator; he is the commander in chief, not an elected king.

that role is supposed to mostly fall to congress, which is where the real power is.

from what i can see, these are fairly modest proposals, which he likely only has limited jurisdiction over. see, this is the part the discourse forgets - in the united states, this is mostly a state-level issue, which is why california and kentucky are on such divergent paths. i don't think that biden can end coal production in appalachia if he wants to.

that said, from the perspective of capital, there is a big difference between funding new industries and ending old ones. we have three things to look at:

1) government funding for profitable new industry will be welcomed by capital. that's the kind of thing you're likely to see substantive action on, and it's a step, at least. you have to give consumers a real choice before you blame them for rejecting it; right now, this is a supply-side issue, primarily. shifting that is helpful. so, call it what you want - investment, welfare - but it's probably the crux of what you'll actually see this government focus on.

2) shutting down out-of-date, unprofitable or obsolete industries is a normal part of capitalism, and large parts of the carbon economy are moving in to that category. what biden can do here is take credit for this by spinning it. and, the democrats aren't competitive in the regions where it's a concern, anyways, so the political fallout is of minimal concern - just like the liberals don't really care about losing votes in saskatchewan.

3)  shutting down profitable sectors of the economy that are causing large amounts of pollution. this strikes me as highly unlikely; that essentially won't happen..

https://www.ctvnews.ca/climate-and-environment/biden-we-can-t-wait-any-longer-to-address-climate-crisis-1.5285518

i also want to call on the canadian government to allow for cross-border traffic to access vaccines in the united states, given the increasing lack of availability of them here - which i suspect is actually blowback from our border policies.

there is a distinct moral problem in telling people they can't leave the country to get vaccinated unless they can afford and access a plane ticket out.

my argument against mask laws was always that the flimsy masks they were mandating were useless - and that was well understood by the medical community, despite the disinformation in the mainstream press about it. the mask mandates were worse than a placebo, they were mass public panic. and, the way they were being pushed down was - and still is - concerning. why did the media collectively refuse to look at actual evidence, and push nonsense instead? surely, the mask industry was not that powerful...

if you're going to mandate n95s, i can't really make that argument anymore, because the science is that they should substantively reduce transmission, if they're used properly - a substantive caveat, sure, but the point remains.

i still want to catch the virus - if i haven't already - though. 

does that mean it's now technically airborne?

https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/masks-coronavirus-variants-canada-1.5890893

he's my excretion.

my shit.

my garbage...

the part of me i threw away, the part of me i didn't want.

and, he seemed to hone in on it, without grasping it.

i don't know for sure, but the outcome is predictable - he's probably exactly what i left behind, precisely what i discarded, entirely what i rejected about myself. uniquely. wholly. fully. and, compactly.

when i met him, he wore basketball jerseys and listened to the worst kinds of hip-hop; he was derogatorily referred to by the other kids as a "spic" or a "wigger" and, while i never took part in stuff like that, he was about the last person i'd have seen myself hanging out with. at the time, you'd have seen me in zero shirts, blaring fixed or garbage in my phones.

he does a science project at my house, and he's walking around in nine inch nails shirts, all of a sudden. and hanging out with my friends, too. like, it was a complete shift in identity...

maybe he just lacked something of his own, maybe i'm explaining the point better than i realize; maybe he was caught between cultures, and i gave him a way out he hadn't had before.

but, i'd rather forget about him.....

in the 11th grade, the teacher assigned him to be my work partner for a science project, and he ended up at my house. we had to build a potential energy driven car powered by elastics.

i built the car. he hung out with my dad.

but, i couldn't get rid him for 15 years after that.

and, he was actually upper middle class - wealthier than i was - so it wasn't that.

i dunno what it was.

i post about some of my other old friends, sometimes.

i never mention this guy, because the thought of him still creeps me out. his name will never appear here.

but, and this is the point i'm coming to...

if you're curious about the question...

what would jessica have been like if she had decided to be jason, instead?

the actual answer is: dead.

but, he's no doubt an approximate caricature.

he's probably everything i hated about myself, and everything i wanted to avoid being - in the most spectacular configuration, imaginable. that's what he always wanted...

which is why i had to get away from him.

and why he kept coming back....

anyways.

i'm glad i'm not that person - i didn't want to be that person. i set up a hard path, granted, but i'd rather fail and drown somewhere off the beaten path than succeed by walking with my head up along the sidewalk.

and, you know what the really odd thing about it is?

this false projection of me that he modeled himself on wasn't, like, some cooler version of me, or something. i could at least sort of get that.

it was the version of me that my parents wanted me to be.

so, imagine trying to juggle that - not only do you need to deal with rejecting your parents' false expectations of you, which is relatively normal, but you need to deal with the bizarre reality that your friends have exactly the same false projections.

i guess i can look back and realize that i obviously wasn't doing a very good job of projecting myself, was i? but, i think the broader truth is that people see what the media programs them to see, and the weird underlying reality is that they were watching the same tv programs.

like, he'd randomly show up at my place out of nowhere and ask for guitar lessons, or want to read the same book i was reading, or listen to the same record i was listening to...

and not for a week.

for years.

the obsession was bizarre, but you see the point of delusion - he's maybe the only person i knew in that period that didn't realize i was queer. and the only person (besides sarah, for somewhat understandable reasons) that reacted negatively to it, in the end. nobody else actually cared.

the only one that didn't see how obvious it was was the one that worshipped a false projection of me, and modeled his entire life on it - the one that seemed to think he knew me the best.

*shrug*

that second guy actually spent most of his life trying to emulate me, to the point that i repeatedly had to get away from him. i dunno; it was always weird to me that this guy put me on this bizarre pedestal, that i never fully understood.

it's weird to have this longterm friendship with this person that almost worships you, and that you largely don't even respect at all. like, i thought he was a complete buffoon from the time i met him until the fifth or sixth time i tried to explain to him that, despite his reverence for this projection that he imagined i was, and that i actually despised, i didn't actually have the slightest bit in common with him, and never did. i could never really fully grasp why he seemed to see me as this person that...i mean, if i was actually the person he imagined i was, i would have killed myself in disgust.

but, the fetish didn't end until i went firmly on hormones - that's what it took to break the false projection into pieces, after 15 years or whatever it was.

but, he just copied me for like half of his life regarding almost everything you could imagine. and it was tiring and frustrating and sort of pathetic - given that i was trying to reinvent myself as somebody else, the whole time.

in the end, if he got something out of it, whatever. but, i'd probably hate him more as a 40 year old fake me than i ever did or ever could back then.

the actual funny thing about my reaction to zizek is that i'm pretty sure my admittedly chomskyian reaction - it's almost identical. - was actually produced before chomsky produced it.

i had some friends from high school come over. one of them got through grade 12 with a d average and was on his fifth or sixth try at trade school (he had wealthy parents, so they kept sending him back to fail, like, marketing and advertising courses. the truth is less that he was flat out dumb and more that he didn't care about much besides final fantasy. he was the singer in rabit is wolf.) and the other had a film degree from a school in thunder bay, and had demonstrated almost no interest in much of anything before i lent him a couple of books (some dante & some machiavelli) when he was recovering from a broken leg suffered in a bus accident in south america. it was the second one that decided he wanted to be a philosopher after reading some dante while on his death bed. well, i mean, i can think of worse things to do with yourself. i haven't talked to him in years, but i think he ended up teaching english as a second language in korea. his spanish was always better than his english...

anyways, these guys - pothead goofs with minimal formal or informal education that were more articulate about tool than they were about lacan. - show up with this zizek video and decide i have to watch it, 'cause i was the smart one, and they needed my approval, or something.

so, i watched it with them, mostly in silence. and, they waited with baited breath...

i was just like "well, what was the point of that? he just rambled for forty minutes about nothing.".

they decided i didn't get it.

that was in 2007, i think.