mom
K...Went online to find phone numbers for Don to call tomorrow....U-Haul....I am going to phone him back and give them to him...He will phone them to secure one....He thinks the one on Boundary Road...He knows people there....

I found a bunch more though...I will give him all the numbers....He seems to always know some-one who works at one of these places.

I told her nothing by the way.

Guess you already talked to him...

Me calling him back now...

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, u-haul is crazy expensive. i should throw that out there. it's something like $0.75/km. i don't think he can get around that. i think what you want to look for - and i can maybe help after i've had a few hours of rest but i'm really drained right now, it was a long day - is an independent company with a flat rate.

he said he'd line everything up.

mom
Don did?

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah.

mom
Yes...He wanted me to look up numbers for u-hauls online.

K..Just relayed the phone numbers to him...He will do his magic tomorrow. He is exhausted and so am I...Love You!....Let's all get some sleep now...

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, they do do flat rates for big mileage. i don't know what kind of deal he can get, but it looks like it's going to be about $400-500 regular price for the van, but that's flat, it's not by the kilometre. plus gas, it's getting close to $1000... if you really want to come, and it's worth it to you, great, but i do think i can get a cheaper price with a trucker. don't feel obligated. if this gets too expensive, feel free to back out.

mom
He doesn't want that runs gas...diesel he says is best...And he can jimmy they thing....He is a mechanic.

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'll trust you, i'm just saying...

mom
I want to come!...He is a truck mechanic...

Let's see what he can scare up first....I know he will come though...He always does.

Jessica Amber Murray
great, i hope he does.

mom
Did you see that lightening!?

Jessica Amber Murray
i did. i can hear the thunder, too.

Re: mom's money

From: sister’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

the money is at mom’s. i’m sure you’ve talked to don by now.

Re: moving

From: sister’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

i have not seen a single trophy or award in the house since they moved here. over the years i think he had got rid of any of that kind of stuff instead of moving it repeatedly.

she kept some stuff in a box for you like his sports cards and stuff like that. i don’t know what else you think was there, but i can tell you there wasn’t anything much. the only thing i’m taking is his tie clip and a bunch of pictures.

RE: moving

From: stepmother’s email address
To: “’Jessica Murray’” <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

You must arrange to pack the truck in the early evening (5:30 - 9) as that is when D is available....Give me some notice.

Re: moving

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

my sister will have more information about this, and i'm going to have to keep you updated because the plan isn't firmed yet...

...but i do NOT need to go over and measure stuff tomorrow. my mother's boyfriend is going to get a truck and the three of us will drive down there. she's really curious about the place.

now, what he's going to do is drop the truck off on monday or tuesday afternoon. i'll load it up. then we'll go either monday or tuesday night. he's just not sure what he can book yet.

i'm going to have to drop by a little before then with the remaining things. i'm going to call my grandmother in the morning before i leave. it might make the most sense to do *that* tomorrow night. it would just require opening the garage door for me, and she'll be with me. the thing is she goes away to the cottage for the weekend, so if i don't get it tomorrow night then i'll have to wait until at least monday.

either way, she'd be driving me, so i'd be there with somebody else.

j

venting

Jessica Amber Murray
she's already gotten rid of all of his stuff. i didn't even get the chance to look through it. i was mostly interested in the cds, but there were a lot of other little things i may have wanted to keep. i'm hoping i can buy back some of the discs...

it's just mind-bogglingly inconsiderate.

mom
Who did?...You mean your stepmother?

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. when a parent dies, it's sort of expected that the child will have the opportunity to look through things that may mean something to them. i just don't understand how she could have just tossed everything...

mom
That Really is very inconsiderate and really STINKS.

Jessica Amber Murray
like, he had all kinds of trophies and awards and stuff from sports leagues when he was a kid. i would have liked to keep a few of those. she's denying they even existed.

mom
That is HORRIBLE.

Jessica Amber Murray
it's just beyond any kind of vendetta. it's just fucking assholery. the level of asshole required is just...wow...

mom
Who has the things?

Jessica Amber Murray
how could *anybody* be such an asshole?

they're in the trash.

i'm sick of people blaming her mental problems. she's an asshole.

mom
Maybe your sister has some of his belongings too.

Jessica Amber Murray
well, she's been there. i guess she got a run through before it got tossed. still.....

i mean, if she does, she took the stuff that was meaningful to *her*. i don't want that stuff. i want the stuff that meant something to me. so, that kind of doesn't get us anywhere.

mom
I am so sorry for your horrible pain that you are experiencing right now.....

I can't really imagine....I have been fortunate so far to not be having to deal with the death of either my mother or father yet.

Think I will be dealing with the death of my own father soon...As he apparently is not doing so good these days. My mother on the other hand will outlive us all.....

Jessica Amber Murray
i mean, what should i have done here? she was giving me shit for talking money as he was dying, but she had given me a deadline to get my stuff out of her house. she can't have it both ways. further, i had asked her what his life expectancy was after going off the chemo and if i should be worried about him making it through the week or not and she told me he should still be alive when i get home. then i get an email when i'm working out the details on a place that i should come home right away. if i had come home right away with nothing, the stuff wouldn't have been out until past september. and i found a place i wanted. that was the smart thing to do, and the smart thing for her to do would be to realize it was the smart thing to do. it would have been impossible for me to go home AND get the stuff out in time, and i would have lost the place i like. i didn't say a word about any of his stuff when he was dying. i didn't think it was important then, i didn't want to sink to the level of groveling over his belongings as he's dying. i didn't bring up any kind of money or inheritance, she did. and then she broke the agreement within hours of him dying, presumably because she was upset that i didn't make it home in time, after she told me he was expected to last a least a few more weeks, and which i couldn't have reasonably done, anyways. should i have made a list of demands as he was struggling in his bed? should i have gone through his stuff in front of him? it's just fucking madness. but it's more than madness. i'm mad. legitimately. but i'm not an asshole. i would never, ever, ever do something like that, no matter how fucked i might be feeling. something like this is not mental instability. something like this is a rotten person, a person that is just bad to the core of their being...

mom
She must be dealing with her own hellish pain......When one is in such emotional pain like this(which, she must has been in for awhile now)....They are blind.

To others needs.

And perhaps even heartless...This type of being is one to be pitied really.....

Jessica Amber Murray
i said goodbye to my dad on the phone before i left. it was very dramatic. and it felt very final. my stepmother will probably live out the rest of her years sad and alone. i'm her current punching bag of choice. when i'm not around, she'll turn on my sister. and then the others in her life. she has a pattern - she lashes out at people. i don't like to pity people, i like to empathize with them. she just makes it very hard.

don hasn't called yet.

and your mother does look ridiculously good for her age. she seems to have lost a few years over the summer, strangely, she's lost some weight, too.

mom
He's supposed to call me first...He always gets into long drawn out conversations with his sister and her husband(Which, I have a problem with)....Don't love either one of them too much....But he will call. Yes, My mother is Gorgeous!.... Wish, I could look as good as her!....She just NEVER seems to age much at all.

Jessica Amber Murray
my other grandmother is still going pretty strong, too. she looks a little closer to her age, but she's going to be around for a while still...

mom
hope she is well.

Where the heck are those two birds anyways?

Jessica Amber Murray
dunno...

mom
lol...I am getting a bit impatient.

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, i think you've been waiting for over two hours now.

i wonder if there's something going on.

mom
Just checked my corded phone...I have to make sure it is still connected from time to time. Sometimes it get's itself stuck on the last call...But it is working fine.

I could have had a shower by now.

Oh well...

lol

Traffic doesn't appear to be too heavy..Although not sure from the slots what it's like?...Think...There must be alot of family stuff going on, I guess. She should be here soon though...I know she is very tired.

How come you didn't go to the eating there?

Jessica Amber Murray
the stepmother has requested that i do not enter her house. there is no rational explanation, other than that she's a bad person.

mom
They were all eating at the Raceway Carleton Slots.

I am going to go and kill her very soon!

your stepmother

Jessica Amber Murray
i went for lunch with his three sisters, his surviving brother, his mother and a bunch of other people....i don't know if you remember the dead uncle's friend k....my cousin (i've forgotten his name)...the oldest aunt’s wife...some other people i didn't know so well and then took the bus home. i guess i just wasn't invited.

mom
Smurfalina is here now!

I just buzzed her in.

Jessica Amber Murray
k

mom
Do you want to talk to her?

On here?

Jessica Amber Murray
i can wait until later, over email. i'd really rather she doesn't read this.

mom
She's not actually inside the unit yet.

K....Love you!...

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. but, yeah. she has flappy lips. you don't need to tell her what i said about the stepmother.

i'll talk to you later.

Re: moving

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

did you sell the cds in a store? which store? how long ago? do you have the exact date (or close to it)? if i go in and explain, they might sell the ones i wanted to keep back to me at cost.

j

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'm leaving tuesday night. my mom wants to see the place, so she's going to drive me with her boyfriend. i think the van is likely to be mostly packed, but there may be spot for a few extra things if you want to send things down early. i don't know how you're doing this, but if you think you'd benefit from getting your piano or something else down early i can likely swing that...

ESA
I don't have a piano. I would get one in Windsor.

possibly. but they also have practice rooms at the school.

Jessica Amber Murray
well, i meant the electric one. there's not space for a grand in there.

ESA
oh no. I need it here so I can practice.

Jessica Amber Murray
fair enough. just offerin' what i gots.

ESA
thanks anyways :D

concrete plans to actually move to windsor

mom
Talked to Don...He is willing. He doesn't want to drive his own truck though....No insurance, nor license plates on it anymore. But is willing to secure a truck and drive it. He wants to know how much stuff you have so to know what size of truck to rent. He is going to call you later tonight and talk to you himself.

Jessica Amber Murray
alright. did he want to take the bus back? that would be cheaper.

(gas)

mom
We all three will be in the truck(dog too)...Him and I(and dog)...Will have to rest a bit and then just drive back.

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. my sister is being weird about giving me the money tomorrow. she wants to give it to you instead. i dunno.

mom
He is thinking of dropping the truck off at your location(I guess your father's?)...And you will have to be responsible for load up....On I think either Monday or Tuesday....We will all leave probably on probably Tuesday night....

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. that should work fine. but they charge you by the day. would make sense to drop it on the same day we're leaving.

mom
Yes..He has friends in the business, so can secure a cheaper rate.

Jessica Amber Murray
swell. ok, well i think i should be ok with either the biggest budget van or the smallest truck.

i think the van should probably be ok, but if he's getting a special rate, maybe the smallest truck might be a better idea just to be safe.

mom
Yes...your sister is supposed to drop by later with the money....Don will take care of securing the truck...He just wanted to know how much stuff you have. He is going to call you later...Will you be at Nanny's?

A valid driver's license along with a credit card is needed.

It will be his.

I have to pay him back though....And he wants $200.00 for himself. I was a bit taken aback by his demand really..But, I think it will still be cheaper in the long run.

Have to pay for all meals and coffees as well...He say's he doesn't want it to cost him a nickel. Fine!.......He will lose 2 day's pay...Whatever.

That's what the 200 lousy bucks is about....K...Whatever. I agree..Do You?

Agreed.

Whatever is left is for you.

Jessica Amber Murray
well, i'm looking at this cash as yours. it's certainly the *easiest* way. can you budget it, though? 200 - don 450 - gas 100? - food ? rental it's adding up. if i can find a straight driver and send them home on the bus, it's $450. i may be able to do even cheaper using a trucker. i'm kind of feeling a little bit guilty getting you to pay for this and sort of want it to be as cheap as possible. i was planning on giving you what was left back, in all honesty. so, i mean...i think it's up to you... this is guaranteed, and it's safe, but it's going to cost you more in the end.

the thing is if you're both coming then the bus back doesn't save much money; 225 for gas vs. roughly that for two bus tickets.

...but if just one of you comes it's a lot cheaper... i guess it depends if the experience is worth it to you or not.

mom
I would love to see your new place and get to experience a little of where you will be existing. It is worth it to me.

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, so i guess we're planning for that. we're going to be there wednesday morning, then? i have to call the guy.

mom
What Guy?...Don will secure the truck....He is going to call you later at Nanny's?

Will you be at Nanny's tonight around 9 or so?

Jessica Amber Murray
the guy in windsor. he wants to know when we'll be there.

i should be here tonight, yeah.

mom
He is going to call you and will talk to you himself.

Jessica Amber Murray
ok

mom
K

Prolly Wednesday....Tell him then.

Jessica Amber Murray
i'll call him tomorrow, i should talk to don first.

mom
Yes....True.

I am looking forward to our road-trip adventure together!..... <3 ;) (y) :)

Jessica Amber Murray
lol

mom
No drugs and alcohol allowed though!...I was told very firmly...K...I can abide for sure. Coffees from Timmy's is welcome!....Smoking tobacco is unfortunate(I know)...Will be involved.

Jessica Amber Murray
i still smoke tobacco. my sister was saying you were worried i was going to spend the money on drugs. i don't actually do drugs. i smoke a mild amount of pot socially (i rarely pay for it), and i might do mushrooms roughly once a year but that's really it. i'm not a drug person....

mom
Glad to hear!...I am just an old worry wart. An Old Mother Hen, A Protective Mother Bear Of Her Precious Cubs.

Jessica Amber Murray
i have been drinking more than usual lately, but it's mostly because i'm bored. that should cut down when i get my studio set back up.

mom
I think that is my main reason for drinking as well.

Jessica Amber Murray
well, i don't drink like you do, that's for sure...just a few a night...but it's been fairly frequent...

mom
' :o .. :)

I have a feeling that your sister will be here shortly. Charlie Brown is pacing and telling me.....

He just pooed on his doggy diaper...And that is a sign...That someone is on their way...Funny how animals are so damn psychic!

Don't think she will stay long....Cause I look scarier than the classic witch cartoon!...LOL....I will look better though when you see me...I promise...Although you may secretly disagree!..... ;)

Hope Don doesn't show up here too!..He's supposed to go home and call you from his place...His number is **********. I am just too ugly and stinky(for sure) right now. Think Nanny still has that service on her phone..When you see that number.....Answer it.....You will hear his voice anyway.

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, i'll pick it up when he calls.

mom
Hope your sister show ups soon...I just want to lay my weary old head down for about 6 hours at least. Again, I will be a bit of a disappointment to her..Stink, Scarey look and all...But there is nothing i can do about it at the moment. If, I disappear into the shower, I will miss her.

Jessica Amber Murray
i suppose she called?

mom
No...She isn't supposed to call again...Just show up.

I suppose I should be making a better effort to have a better personal appearance....But, I simply have no energy at all anymore. I am exhausted...I am sure she is as well, and will understand.

Re: moving

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To:  sister’s email address

i had an emotional attachment to those cds, but the music is replaceable. it's very disappointing, but i can deal with that.

he had a number of trophies that he won when he was younger. like, hockey and baseball and football awards. if everything else is gone, did she at least keep these? like, i'm flabbergasted...

is it not the most obvious fucking thing in the world that the kid is going to want to look through personal belongings? i mean, what the fuck...

j

Jeff
You talking about your dads stuff and pictures?

Jessica Amber Murray
his cds, his trophies, his medals, his clothes, everything...

Jeff
Who the Fuck?

Jessica Amber Murray
my stepmother.

i don't get along with her so well, but it's really something else not to let a kid sort through their father's stuff before it's tossed to the curb. wow.

Jeff
I have to say the coldest shit I've heard in my life! If be so pissed I'm not sure how long id be in jail for!no way to still get any of it or is it already gone?

Jessica Amber Murray
no, it's gone. all i gots is pics.

Jeff
Not a total loss..some is better then none but shame on your stepmom cause that's not right man. Pictures are good because your end up looking at them years later and don't have to put a face to the name. And if ya have kids they see what he looks like young and old eh. Kids might not be on the list right now but just saying.

Jessica Amber Murray
no, i'm glad i have the pictures, don't get me wrong on that.

i didn't act fast enough, i guess.

it's all in the garbage...

Re: moving

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

i'm really disappointed that you didn't give me the opportunity to sort through my father's belongings.

i mean, honestly...???

j

Re: mom's money

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email

the money *was* for my first/last, but that became redundant. i'm not going to have this arranged before you leave tomorrow.

if you want to give it back to her directly, that's fine, but it would have to be done tonight or tomorrow. as mentioned, i don't really want it transferred to me, either; i can claim money as a gift if they make me, but i've already had a large deposits come through and i don't want to flag myself. are you sure it's not easier just to give it to me tomorrow? she knows this is happening...

j

RE: moving

From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

If you want to come by and measure tomorrow while your sister is here that is fine however I expect you to leave once completed. At this time you are not welcome in my house. I have kept the CD's I wanted and sold the rest. Your father only had 2 records which I have given away. There are no medal or trophies. All Bob's clothes other than the Habs and SF stuff have been donated to the Mission. Your sister gave you the pictures.

What is in the garage are your boxes and all the equipment that was in the basement.. I have added a microwave, a brand new bed and frame ($700), a new pillow and towel, 2 sets of new sheets, the leather chair, bookcase and the desk and desk chair. As well you were recently given a newer laptop.

I have attached a letter for ODSB.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                                                                 Aug 1, 2013

To Whom It May Concern,

As executor for the estate of my late husband, I did forward a one-time inheritance amount
of $1600.00 on July 28th, 2013 to his son Jason Parent.

If you have any questions or concerns please contact me directly at **********.

Regards
The Stepmother

Re: mom's money

From: sister’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

the money is for your moving expenses. it has already been deposited for transfer, but if the cash is simply to be given to you, i’ll bring it back to mom to do it herself. if don is the one doing the moving, you can get whatever she wants to give you from her.

so, i have still have that $50 gift certificate for vittoria trattoria.

(don't eat there, they need an iww picket outside their door to get them to follow basic labour standards)

i think the best thing to do is get some wine with that $50. well, i don't want to just forfeit it. that would literally be as ridiculous as ripping up a $50 bill, and who is that ridiculous? nobody is that ridiculous...

i know nothing of wine, other than that i like the taste of fruit more than i like the taste of antifreeze. ideally, i'd get two bottles, and i don't mind paying a few dollars over the $50 in tax or whatever. i'm going to expect that the servers earn any tip, though.

suggestions on what i should get?

moving

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

i think things went well today.

i wanted to come by and just measure things in the garage. i have an ad up at a site that puts small loads in contact with truckers that have extra space. they want exact dimensions and exact objects because it makes a difference relative to the cargo and packing space. it's something i could have done quietly by myself, all i would need would be a few pieces of paper and a pen. i was thinking my sister was going to be there, so if you're uncomfortable around me for whatever reason...

it's something i sort of need to do. perhaps tomorrow would be better, right before they leave?

that being said, i may be able to get a drive with my mother's boyfriend. he owns a truck. in that case, it's not necessary. if i don't know by tomorrow, though, i think it would make sense for me to do this while they're still around. i can do it quietly by myself....

as for my father's belongings, i don't know if he left any directions regarding any of it or not. you've indicated that you get everything. that's fine. however, there's a number of cds and records in his collection that have been very important to me over my life. it's mostly prog stuff from the 70s - genesis, pink floyd, king crimson. if i could have those, it would mean a whole lot to me. so, i would really appreciate the chance to look through his collection....or i can just take all of it and sort through it later. the music i was able to appreciate through him and share with him is one of the things i'm going to remember him by.

as for the other things, i don't know what you plan to do with them. are you going to keep things? discard them? would you mind if i took a look through anything that you want to discard before you do so? i think it would be a shame to have these things simply thrown out. i may be interested in taking things like trophies, medals, maybe a few shirts...

j

mom's money

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

i need to be careful about money going through banks, too.

could you bring it tomorrow?

also, did you mention the cds to the step-mother? i'll send her an email...

turns out don might drive me for gas money. i'll take it.

j

a path

mom
J...There could be a potentially new idea....Don owns a big moving truck. I could ask him if he could be the driver...The 3 of us would sit in it(Charlie Brown on the floor...Or in my lap...He's little)....I could approach(him with the idea) and we could make a holiday out of it(him and I....It would be a bonding experience for us all!....Where is your sister?...Is she still in town?

Jessica Amber Murray
if you're up for it, that sounds like a good idea. it's going to cost like $450 in gas (225 both ways), but if it gets paid for out of the money you gave me, that's probably still just about as cheap as is possible. my sister is in town until tomorrow afternoon. i'll have to make sure she gives me that money tomorrow.

mom
I just wrote and it disappeared....Anyways...I am rewriting. I have to talk to Don first. His truck has his son's junk stored in it right now and will have to be emptied first...But he(the son) has a big enough garage and basement where the junk can be stored for awhile anyway. The money will have to be recouped from your sister. I will talk to Don soon. If I approach him right...I think he will help. We wouldn't be able to leave before Tuesday though.

Jessica Amber Murray
that's ok, tuesday or wednesday is about when i was planning for. is there a way you could let me know today or tomorrow, though, so i can plan around it?

mom
He will be calling me around supper time...I will know soon after.

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. thanks.

mom
Did you find your driver yet?...

Jessica Amber Murray
i'm not looking. i'm still waiting to hear back from the truckers. if i can't arrange something with the truckers by monday, i'll start asking around for drivers.

it's short notice, but...

....my dad's funeral is at 10:00 tomorrow (thursday) at macdougall, which is at albion & hunt club.

i don't expect you to come. but you're welcome if you'd like to.

i'll be leaving for windsor some time this upcoming week. monday, tuesday, wednesday - something like that. i'm going to be living there permanently...

...so if you want to see me before i go, please contact me for coffee. you have no idea how much it would mean to me to seduce, err, i mean, say bye to you before i go.

**********

j