i also want to find a clean & healthy place to live that is big enough for me to finish my discography in, and don't think my choice of messaging hardware or software is an intelligent screening mechanism for a large corporation to use.

but, it's been a long time since i've been shocked or surprised by the ubiquity of human stupidity.

i've tried very hard to construct a media footprint that is directed at outcasts and loners and introverts and nerds, and i've gone to the point of destroying accounts when i've generated more typical followers, which i've never wanted.

i want to be a hero for nerds and losers. i want to be despised by the mainstream. i want an over 40 audience that thinks young people are insane. i want to be out of touch.

sorry.

but, i mean...

i've been trying to explain to you that i'm a loser for years - that i'm a nerd, a musician, a loner, a bookworm. that i'm fucking proud of being a loser, and that i wouldn't have it any other way.

then, you're surprised and shocked when you realize i was right the whole time?

the confusing and shocking thing is that you didn't just believe me in the fucking first place. and, you have no basis for any negative reaction to what was right in front of you the whole time.

and, i'm sorry but "sexting" is the most pathetically stupid thing that humans have ever lowered themselves to engage in.

it's about as cool as usenet porn.

i'm the kind of person that signed myself into icq and msn as "away", and disabled chatting over facebook.

but, see, this is why i don't pay for phone service: if i had a phone connected to an sms server, i would either disable the feature or turn the phone off. i legitimately do not see the use-value of owning a phone when you can have a laptop; but, i actively do not want to be texted at. so, why pay for something i don't want?

but, like, don't think i'm missing out on something. i don't have the slightest interest. sorry. if i did, i'd figure it out. i'm sure there's some way to text via browser. i mean, you can basically do that over facebook, right? but, i've disabled it. because i don't want to be annoyed by it...

i'm a cusp baby, but i'm very gen x in this sense, where a lot of people older than me aren't: i don't want to be constantly connected to the people around me. i want privacy. i want to disconnect; i remember when you had to dial in, i remember when you could disconnect. i would actually find the premise of being awoken by a text message to be deeply invasive. so, interpret this as a generation gap, because that's what it actually is.

if i had a partner trying to contact me by phone, i'm the type that would tell them i'm busy and turn my phone off. and then probably no longer have that partner - but not be upset, because i don't want somebody bothering me every ten minutes when i'm trying to fucking read.

i've made myself difficult to contact in real time precisely because i don't want to be contacted in real time. i want to make a plan ahead of time. and, when i don't want to be disturbed, i really mean it.

in actuality, and i want you to think about this carefully, the truth is that if you were a member of the orthodox church - greek, russian....syrian..... - you would not just interpret russian hegemony over the middle east as acceptable, but would actually see it as quite proper.

remember: the russians are the last successor state of the roman empire that is still truly left standing.

so, i crashed around 2:00, meaning yesterday was about 20 hours - far too short, for this time of year.

i should be enjoying nice, long 36 hour days in this kind of heat. and i shouldn't be sleeping for ridiculously long lengths like 7 hours - i should be wide awake after three or four.

the stench of pot was weaker than usual but steady last night. even after seven hours of sleep, i'm not 100%, right now.

as mentioned: i'm not partying this weekend. i don't feel like there's much to celebrate, right now. that might let me steal something when everybody else is too stoned to notice.

that gets me through january 2014.

i think i can get through the summer by sunrise. honestly.

right now, it's time to eat, again.

the idea would be that the merovingians were probably late central european romanised celts that ended up at the top of what was a multi-ethnic confederacy, and that any identification with belgian groups would be reconstructive.

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