i've decided i need to make a decision by sept 1 at the latest as to how i'm getting out of here. it's very frustrating, because this apartment is potentially ideal for me. it's better than the previous space. it's big and it's relatively cheap and i like the location. i could potentially get a lot of work done here, but i can't shake these losers that are stalking me. they won't go away. they want to steal my belongings, and they're apparently trying to have sex with me, which i thoroughly and adamantly and vigorously reject. worse, i'm increasingly convinced that the police are directly involved as payback for what happened in 2018, and that i may be a victim of direct political persecution for my opinions, for my gender expression and for my refusal to do what i'm fucking told. i have fought the system and been generally successful, so the system broke all of the rules to retaliate against me, as any mafia entity would. we live in a free society so long as we don't try to be free in it. it's this kind of illusion that's just far enough in front of you that you can't touch it, and that evaporates as soon as you reach your arm out to try. i made the mistake of trying to be free, and the state is viciously punishing me for it.
i'm really just a completely harmless artist trying to live a free existence on a minimal subsidy, and that is the state's worst nightmare. our government will recognize terrorist groups as legitimate governing bodies, but as soon as you put somebody wanting to be free in front of it, it resorts to the worst and most oppressive tendencies of it's colonial past.
so what do i do? how do i adjust? how do i learn? how do i adapt? how do i survive? how do i get out of this?
i made a choice quite a while ago that i was going to focus on the writing in building the liner notes up from 1989-1996. that is the first priority, when i get back to work. maybe i don't need all of my gear directly accessible to me at all times, for right now. maybe i could put it back in storage while i wait for this mess to work itself out and just focus on the writing instead. it's $200/month. that's the same as the canada disability benefit, which is coming. i could use the disability benefit to pay to put my stuff in storage and rent a smaller place until i think the situation is safe to move back out, maybe to a different city. i strongly suspect that this would get rid of them, although it may take a little while for them to lose interest.
i want to keep my options open for the next two weeks. if i don't find a way out by the first, i'm going to need to spend the first few days of september getting my stuff out to storage as a dominant priority, and focus on trying to find a smaller place to live to just write in, for now.
the only end to this situation will need to be to get these people arrested. it's the only solution. i have clear proof and the police are ignoring it. i don't know yet if this is due to incompetence, due to prejudice, due to laziness or due to corruption, or due to all four. however, if the police are directly involved, it could take a while to get to that endpoint and i may need to adjust to that. i may need to work around police to get to the crown to force them to make the arrest rather than with or through the police. the police are contributing to the problem, not contributing to the solution.
that would lead to me suing the police, and i'd have to take the cash from that lawsuit and use it to leave the city.