this is such a weird map.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ontario_Provincial_Election_1990_-_Results_Map.svg

if doug ford gets ~38% - a number roughly in sync with donald trump's approval rating - do you think he should get the keys to the government?

i don't.

i'm in support of a coalition government, even if it only lasts long enough to prevent ford from taking power.

and, he's going to have to poll at roughly 45% to prevent that coalition from forming - which i think is very unlikely.

i need to reiterate: i have not seen any reliable polling that indicates that ford is beyond minority territory.

i am still expecting a coalition government as the most likely outcome.

but, key constituencies are starting to turn in irrational ways - indicating that this might be becoming one of those random expressions of mass stupidity that is inevitable in any democracy.

not only is doug ford unlikely to spend money on more infrastructure, he's very likely to sell a good percentage of it.

perhaps what the unions are really more interested in is a tax cut.

i've had these discussions; workers don't tend to understand economics very well, and tend to get their information from very bad sources. they're consequently easy to take advantage of with what are essentially appeals to ignorance.

they believe in trickle-down economics. no; stop. they really do.

i will not be surprised if unions vote for ford. but, i'll be disappointed in the stupidity of it.

unions + immigrants is a winning coalition. it's a familiar one, too, isn't it?

the left needs some serious reflection, from pseudo to literal.

i'm not sure why anybody would think that doug ford cares about infrastructure.

that sounds like fake news, to me.

leave it to alberta to be the only jurisdiction in the world that is dumb enough to buy into elon musk's bullshit.

i just took a walk downstairs to investigate the banging, and i caught her leaving in a waiting car, which is not conclusive.

she's obviously not going outside to smoke, because she's smoking inside - and she's already had a few.

so, i'm actually left with one of two conclusions: either she left for work a little late tonight or she's slowly moving things out.

if the smoke continues over night, and right now it seems like it's going to, i'm actually going to have to conclude that she's in the process of moving and question the property manager about it tomorrow before i mail the documents.

i don't know if having her move is good enough, any more. i know it's worth giving it another try, though. it's the easiest answer...

i could, of course, cancel the court process, as well.

unfortunately, she appears to be home tonight.

but, i'm wondering if she misread the n5.

i'm not getting an honest response from management; they're playing stupid about it. but, that's just it - they're just bluffing on everything. i can read. to the contrary, this woman is obviously not very bright.

when i made the second smoke complaint, it was after ten days. now, the n5 can be confusing, if you're already stupid to begin with, and this is what i meant when i pointed out that the property management was feigning incompetency.

the first n5 is just a warning. it says knock it off in the next ten days, or i'm going to try and evict you. now, it also comes with a date on it, but the date is really meant for the second n5, not the first one.

my n5 had the date of april 23rd on it, but it wasn't a meaningful date. it was either included out of incompetency, or out of an attempt to frighten me.

a stupid or ignorant person could get the notice and conclude that they have to move by the 23rd. and, if that is the case, i would expect that this woman would actually be moving out over the week.

that might explain why she's not working, and also why i'm hearing a lot of banging.

so, should i wait this out, or what?

when i called in on day 11, i got the (i think feigned) confused reaction from management, indicating they were holding to it. but, i know better.

does she?

hrmmn.

i'm awake.

i've eaten.

thankfully, we got some rain...

i'll be through 2015 pretty fast and on to writing this essay and mailing it tomorrow.

to be a little bit more clear.

it's not whether i'm cool or not that tends to get me upset. i don't care. i really don't. and i don't care if not caring is cool or not, either. or if...

it's the vacuous, empty and nihilistic definition of 'cool' that gets me wishing i lived on another planet.

i'm happy to hang out with the nerds.

it's the popular kids that make me depressed.

my head is just throbbing :(.

i'm actually hoping for a rainy, cold summer in order to keep this person off the porch, so i can get some air in here.

there's no protection from the rain, there. and, the humid air is the best antidote for the smoke from downstairs, too.

it looks like the rain we were supposed to get this week isn't going to show up :(

well, i think it's worn off, now.

but i'll never make it there by 4:30.

i wanted to be there this morning, but i was literally too stoned to move for the last seven hours, from the secondhand smoke. this is a measure of the depth of the problem. and i'm not exaggerating; i was up in the afternoon, yesterday, i should not have been tired this morning. that was a short day....

i want to put the term 'stoned' in quotes, because it's not exactly like that. it's more like a sedative - and i've pointed out before that i suspect she is smoking opiates, at least sometimes. the pot obviously doesn't do much for her, right? and, this happens sometimes - i get a whiff of something and just fall over, for hours.

but, this is also typical of government pot, in my experience. government pot doesn't get you high, it just knocks you out. and, with the way they're prescribing it as an anti-depressant or pain reliever (rather than as the psychedelic it's used as, recreationally), that kind of makes sense. i don't know if it's a sativa/indica thing or something else, but government pot is really more like valium than it is like pot. and, as you might expect, that's not any fun.

the shit the government is going to eventually export is not going to be bc bud. it's going to be this over the top, sedative-heavy government pot engineered to feel like i'd imagine an opiate does. it's going to make you tired and insular, rather than euphoric and extroverted. and i don't expect to have much interest in it.

i'll have to try again tomorrow.

*shrug*.

i'm actually going back to sleep for a bit.

no.

i...

i can't move.

i'll try again at noon.

i didn't get through 2015 before i was overwhelmed by the secondhand smoke around 7:00.

my eyes are burning.

my throat is burning.

my mood is foul.

i want to sleep. but i can't. i have to get up.

it's about ten posts short. i'll do it tonight.

i can barely move.

i feel like death.

:(.

i just want to sit here and cry for the next thirty years.

but i need to get something mailed today.

coffee...

in one of the strangest demonstrations of surveillance yet, i'm listening to one of the remixes i spun off at the end of 2015 (http://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.ca/2015/12/insp.html) and it starts actually interfering with the loopback at the low frequencies, due to the depth of the bass drum.

there are several mixes of this track that use the same drum pattern, so i check each of them, and they all do the same thing.

i was able to solve it on a reboot.

but, it seems like what i was hearing was the bass beating out of phase with itself as it was being captured by the monitoring software.

again: i actually don't care if i'm monitored. i'm boring as fuck.

but, i can't create music when the monitoring software is degrading my audio quality, like this...

but, it's just...

it's never been my thought process.

i've never been angry or sad or depressed and said "i need to get high". to the contrary, i've been angry or sad or depressed and decided to stay home and go to bed early, instead.

i need to be in a good mood to go out drinking & smoking, or i don't go out. i wouldn't want to get high if i wasn't feeling up to it.

& this is maybe why i don't really understand this. the premise of "medicinal marijuana" is combining two things - drugs & depression - that seem to be in contradiction with each other, to me.

when i'm depressed, i go to bed early; i only do drugs when i'm feeling great, and want to have a good time.

how did this get so confused?

it has to be capitalism that's at the root cause of this.

i would imagine that getting in the habit of smoking pot when i'm upset would just ruin marijuana for me.

like i say: i'm usually pretty happy, so long as i don't have to interact with people - or their externalities.

there's too many externalities in this place.

but, i don't associate drugs with depression.

being sad doesn't make me want to get high. getting high is something i do when i'm in a good mood, not something i do when i'm upset. i don't even know what being high and depressed is even like - i've never experienced this. i'd imagine it would just make me more upset. and, the stronger the smell of drugs is, the sadder i'm going to get.

it's not a comfort, or a crux, or something i do alone - it's a social activity that i always used to do with friends, and now do, at least, in public.

when i'm upset, i just want to go to sleep and wake up fresh - ie not hungover.

not tonight. tonight, i just need to deal with it. coffee...

it's not being around people that makes me upset. if anything, being around people makes me exceedingly angry.

it's the nature of humans that makes me upset.

people just smoke drugs, and don't care. they destroy the planet; they destroy themselves. they don't plan, they don't think ahead - all they care about is the present moment.

why can't people be more altruistic, and more interested in living healthy and productive lifestyles? why are so many humans these depraved, selfish utility monsters that destroy everything in their paths? why are we so easily controlled by media into believing such utter stupidity?

you try to live a healthy lifestyle, you try to give back, you try to do what you can to not contribute to all of these social and environmental problems, and all you get in return are these self-absorbed retards that can't even be bothered to get off of their obese assholes to go smoke a fucking joint, when somebody tells them it's making them sick.

i need to get out of here asap.

preferably to a planet with a different dominant species.

i'm broadly a pretty happy person if left alone.

it's humans that make me sad.

we're despicable creatures. it's the best argument i know against religion: no enlightened being would create a species this depraved.

i deserve the payout i'm asking for.

:(

of course, the library has inconvenient hours, for me.

i may find myself blowing most of the summer sitting outside and reading, just because i can't sit inside.

why is it always ugly fat women that smoke like chimneys?

to be clear: i've got the drug addict below me, and have had to open my window to deal with it.

now, there's a tenant next door that is sitting on her porch smoking, so opening the window is no solution.

i don't currently have a functioning laptop, but i'm considering spending my days at the library until i can get out.

if you're forcing me to choose, i would rather deal with second hand tobacco smoke.

it's gross. and unhealthy.

but, at least it doesn't make you tired....

there's a new problem: some ugly, fat wench is sitting in my fresh air intake and smoking 24/7, meaning i'm in the same impossible situation, once again.

what i'm experiencing is just a background general smoke: i can't tell what kind of smoke it is, and it may even be all mixed up. it's just burning my throat.

i want to finish 2015 before i get to the write-up to get out of here.