i'm an anarchist, and virtually everything i listen to has a lineage in anarcho-punk.

so, aesthetically "punk" music celebrating being the boss strikes me as kind of shocking, whether it's coming from a confused point of capitalist fem-washing or not.

fuck bosses.

listen, i'm dealing with the same problem that every leftist in the world has dealt with.

i'll stand up and say:

"i'm not really opposed to gun control, exactly, but i understand that tighter restrictions on guns isn't going to undo the war economy or fix the culture of violence that leads to this madness..."

and, i know that all i'm going to get in return for articulating my well thought out points is howls of nra sympathizing (despite the reality that i've never even seen a gun before....) and accusations of pushing right-wing messaging, despite the fact being that i'm actually trying to push back against this moralizing christian progressivism with what is really marxism 101 - the social revolution must come first.

and, that's just one example.

leftists have never gotten along well with liberals or "progressives", so it's not like this is some kind of surprising turn of events. it would just be useful to everybody if you'd understand what direction my criticism is coming from, namely the left, so i'm not continually confusing or disappointing people.

and, that is the only outcome if you don't relent on the facts, here: you have to give up on this and accept them i'm on the far left. otherwise, i'm just going to disappoint conservatives and the alt-right over and over, and i'm just going to confuse all these fake liberals and pseudo-leftists when they figure out that i'm actually a good deal more radical than they are...

but i'm not going to teach you anything you couldn't learn in more traditional sources, except regarding how confused and muddled the spectrum currently is. i can teach a self-identifying liberal why they're actually a conservative, and why my arguments - which they find so horrific - are actually right out of marx. but, they could teach themselves this, as well, by bothering to read up on it.

at the end of the day, the labels are kind of trivial. if this group of "progressives" are actually conservatives, and they dislike my "right-wing" views because they're actually marxist, then cutting through the language doesn't undo the outcome: they still don't like me, at the end of the day. & that's fine.

but, it's maybe a call to the left to reclaim some spaces, then - which is at the crux of it what i'm actually really all about.

and, of course, the most boring thing in the world is...

having a paying job.

to hell with that.

sitting on a patio and drinking and talking about nothing? painfully fucking boring.

sitting in a field and smoking pot? deathly boring.

campfires? sing-alongs? dinner dates? watching movies? i'd rather be sentenced to torture.

give me purpose, or give me death.

no, you know what's boring?

what's boring is getting fucked up by yourself.


that's boring as fuck.

again: i've never been more than a sporadic, social type smoker - and my tolerance has always been very low.

there is no point in my life where that much pot of that intense strength would have done anything different than knock me out.

and, you can see why i'm so pissed off about the situation; i had better things to do today than sleep for 12.5 hours.

but, this is all under the assumption that nothing replaces any of it, which is not realistic.

trump is actually helping us out by attacking europe & japan, simultaneously - because they're going to be looking for new importers at the same time that we're looking for new export markets, and vice versa.

i'm not suggesting that it will be an easy process; there are certain to be layoffs and downturns in some sectors. but, all of the analysis on the topic for years has been in a vacuum, and that vacuum no longer exists.

the fear that we'd be cast out from the american trading system is inverting itself; it is rather america that is pulling itself out.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/trade-war-recession-ramifications-1.4710096

the smoke started coming in around 3:00 this morning and knocked me right out. i've been sleeping ever since. 12 hours of sleep? it smells like pot, but it is affecting me like an opiate. second hand.

so, i lost the day - what will probably be the nicest day of the year. right when i was feeling clear-headed and detoxed, too. :(.

let's see if i can finish what i was doing before i get something to eat.

actually, i've been straight edge for almost three weeks (excluding coffee and drifting smoke) and i feel pretty good about it.

given the circumstances, i don't expect to go out much this summer, and might not go out at all; therefore, i expect to be sober pretty much from now until hallowe'en.