somebody should combine 70% no name's caesar and 30% frank's hot sauce into a single condiment.

i may have opened up a can of spaghetti in declaring pasta italian.

pasta is just wheat and water. we have evidence the neanderthals ground wild wheat. it's pretty old and pretty universal.

however, pasta as we understand it is italian, without question.

yup.

why don't i use mozarella on my pasta?

because cheddar has a much higher retinol content. that's the reason.

my pasta might seem italian, but it's actually very native american. call it a spaghetti western pasta. where's my morricone?

american origin items:

tomato, red pepper, paprika, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, pineapple, avocado, sunflower seeds, caesar dressing***, genoa salami*, nutritional yeast, canola oil

italian/greek origin items

pasta, thyme, oregano, basil, olive oil, brocolli, genoa salami*, beet root**, caesar dressing***

south asian origin items

lime, garlic, carrot, cumin, hemp seeds, black pepper

scandinavian origin items:

dill

british origin items

marble (cheddar) cheese

* genoa salami was invented by italian-american immigrants, and isn't exactly italian 

** it was the romans that first started eating beet root rather than beet greens (chards), which were eaten by greeks and egyptians.

*** caesar dressing was invented by an italian-mexican immigrant

the food bank gave me upwards of 30 red and yellow peppers, piles of broccoli, several containers of pesto, a big bag of limes and kilograms worth of pasta. i had put the pasta aside as the last thing to eat in my first meal schedule.

it follows that i will be eating pasta just about every day until mid august, as i eat through four or five schedules to catch up. here's the recipe i'm using:

pre-prep

- on a large flat plate add - one half a tomato (diced), one half a red pepper (diced), one avocado (diced), two cloves of garlic, one carrot, one beet, one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil, some fresh dill (chopped). the food bank gave me two tomatoes, a container of mini tomatoes, an assortment of processed tomatoes, a lot of red and yellow peppers and a container of mini red peppers. avocados were on sale and i bought enough to match the peppers. i bought a lot of carrots and a lot of beets, which are both cheap; i was able to find a bag of about 30 skinny carrots for $3.00, which is ideal for the application.

- chop 150 g of fresh pineapple into small squares on a small plate. i got four actual pineapples at reduced price at the grocery store across the street because they were ripe, which is a good thing (who wants crunchy pineapples? it's better if they're a little soft.). it seems like i should get around 900 g of usable fruit per pineapple.

- peel and segment one lime. chop each segment in half. put on same plate.

- slice and chop up 50 g of salami into small squares (i'm using spicy genoa sold in a 600 g amount). the food bank also gave me a small amount of ground bison (which i do not believe i've ever eaten before) and a large package of chicken breasts, both of which are in the freezer, and which i'll sub for the salami as it runs out in equal 50 g amounts. 

- fry in olive oil margarine until a little crispy. 

- chop off the top of 25 g of broccoli florets and place on a small plate. place any stems in a bowl in the freezer, which is cumulative.

- grate 100 g of marble cheese

- weigh 110 g of dry pasta, preferably fettucine, but i will not be using fettucine for the foreseeable future. the last three days used up some kind of chinese egg noodle made to look italian first and i'll now be eating through 500 g of fusilli followed by almost two kg of penne. i have a lot of spaghetti (around 5 kg) to eat after that. whatever the type of pasta, i will always weigh 110 g.

- cook to al dente in a covered pot.

preparation:

- add pasta on top of vegetables, right out of the pot. flatten pasta.

- add 1 tbsp of olive oil margarine on pasta.

- add pineapple and lime on top of that. flatten fruit.

- add salami or other meat on top of that. flatten meat.

- add 1 tbsp cumin, 1 tbsp nutritional yeast, 1 tbsp paprika, 1 tbsp hemp seeds, 1 tbsp sunflower seeds (or just chomp the last one). distribute these items evenly.

- add a lot of ceasar dressing (this is the pasta sauce), and bunch it up in the middle.

(i am not currently adding pesto because it's at the back of a full fridge. i will update this a little later.)

- add the grated marble cheese

- microwave for 2:00

- when it comes out, add frank's, black pepper, a tbsp of cayenne pepper (sprinkled).

- sprinkle crushed broccoli florets on last

 

served with

- serve with some bread and olive oil margarine. the food bank gave me a lot of bread, including garlic cheese buns (first up) and a baguette (second).

- serve with tall glass of 25% grapefruit, 75% orange juice

i will be eating this every day around midnight for the next month.

could taylor swift do a cover of this?