i've gone out of my way to reject comparisons regarding myself. there is no basis of similarity, and that will only become more clear as time unfolds.

the similarity is with the ex-partner, not with me. but, i'll concede a similarity, even as i point out that it's really not a similarity with me, but a similarity with her...

we got a place together and decided on splitting the rent 50/50. i would not have accepted any other arrangement; i fully expected that she would pay her way. at the time, i thought she wouldn't have accepted anything different, either - we didn't really have this discussion, though, it was just unstated.

i mean, i made her pay 50% of the bill - and 50% of the tip - on the first date. she actually liked my insistence on this at the time. and i insisted. strongly. i guess she'd never met anybody that had this mindset; i must have come off like a character in a novel. in hindsight, i think she may have said one thing and actually desired another. i may have been pushing social expectations on her that she actually wasn't prepared to accept, after all.

so, when it came time to put the lease down, however many years later, we thought we knew where we both stood without having to talk about it.

maybe i should have asked.

(although, as it happened to be, she had a larger income than me at the time)

then, she cheated on me. so, i walked out on her, leaving her with a monthly rent that she couldn't afford to pay. and, she had just spent a thousand dollars, all of her savings, on a bicycle, too.

one might ask the question. she didn't have a math degree, and tended to stare back at me blankly when i spoke in math, but she wasn't a stupid person: she could do enough math to realize that her income was not sufficient to pay the rent.

so, why did she cheat on me, then?

because she never thought i'd do it. she thought i was bluffing.

she took me for granted.

that's the commonality, here.

jagmeet singh must cut his beard