i only use marijuana and alcohol in social situations, as a means to eliminate anxiety. i am not an extroverted person, and i don't enjoy being around people. i need the drugs as an escape from social interaction.
further, i don't like house parties; i think they're lame and pathetic. marijuana is not something that should be done in the privacy of your house, it's a social drug that should be smoked at concerts and in large gatherings, essentially exclusively.
what that means for me is that when the pandemic happened my drug use completely dried up and i simply haven't had the opportunity to pick it back up since.
they closed the border in april of 2020 and i wasn't able to get back over again until may of 2023, but then these new landlords showed up and threatened to illegally evict me, which has forced me to stay inside since june of 2023. i was able to get out to one party in may, 2023 before i had to lock myself inside and wait for them to leave, and i'm still waiting. i have consequently had a single night of drinking since april of 2020, because i have absolutely no interest in getting drunk in my basement, or in somebody's backyard or garage in windsor, ontario. sitting around doing drugs and talking is utterly boring and pathetic to me.
i haven't been to a concert since april, 2020.
likewise, as i think smoking pot out of boredom in residential neighbourhoods is pathetic and lame (put the bong down and read a book instead), i have only had that single opportunity to get out of the house to get stoned.
i got very depressed in june of 2020 when i realized i wasn't going to be able to go out all summer and spent most of the period from june 21, 2020 to aug 1, 2020 smoking pinners and taking walks around the neighbourhood to try to cope with the fascist lockdown. even then, i had to go outside and take a walk. i can't handle smoking anything in the house, i think it's disgusting. i stopped at the end of july, 2020 and haven't touched the stuff since, except at that one party in may, 2023. at all. i came to the conclusion that government pot is a dangerous narcotic and that only homegrown or illegally grown marijuana should be smoked, as the government stuff seems designed to create dependence. normal marijuana is not addictive, but the government pot seemed to be.
even when i was a cigarette smoker, i always smoked outside. i quite smoking cigarettes in january, 2016.
i didn't decide to become straight edge in 2020 and it probably won't last, but i haven't had the freedom to live as i want to, since, and these decisions made by others and enforced on me have had that outcome: no marijuana since aug, 2020 and no alcohol since april, 2020, except for one night in may, 2023, when i was able to get out to a party.
i currently have no interest in drugs at all and i won't until i'm able to go back out to appropriate venues for drug use, which include places like bars and concert halls, not houses and back yards.