woahwoahwoahwoah.

let's not pretend as though cutting me a large check is going to change the thrust of my purpose to exist. i'm still not going to want to raise children. i'm still not going to want to date, or find a partner. and, i'm still not going to want to go to major rock concerts or festivals, either.

i could maybe travel further to small or medium venues.

i was thinking the other day of the time that my step-mother gave me a sponsorship package for some kids in africa. the kind of thing where you send them like $1.00/day and they write back to you and what not. i don't really know what she was thinking; maybe she thought it might spark some interest in me. but, i never even read the letters.

and, they kept sending them - to my recycle bin. i never even opened them. no interest; no feeling of responsibility.

this actually produced somewhat of an angry response in this woman, who seemed to think i had some kind of obligation to interact with the kids that she bought for me.

but, i didn't buy them. so, don't look at me. all i could tell her was that she bought them, and it's her responsibility to deal with it. i didn't consent to this. you can't just dump that kind of responsibility on somebody that didn't ask for it - i have rights and stuff.

at the time, i hadn't fully formed the opinions i have today, and i wouldn't have been able to articulate the kind of political disagreement with such a program that i would articulate today. i don't think sending money to africa accomplishes anything besides fostering dependency. i'd rather send that money to a local communist party than send it to starving kids that will probably end up as child soldiers, and then cannon fodder.

i just didn't have any interest in kids. at all.

and, i still don't.

i'm interested in my work, and that is all.