so, was i drunk last night?

yes.

i'll own that.

see, and you have to get this: i'm very honest. i'm admitting i was drunk last night, because i was; i'm not admitting to it on other nights, because i wasn't.

i didn't intend to go where i went, i kind of got redirected, perhaps even "picked up", and i ended up drinking something much stronger than i normally would. i normally drink beer all night, and especially after 2:00; i know i can't handle hard alcohol after hours, so the outcome was actually predictable. why would i drink it, then? because it's what was there, and i wasn't feeling drunk when i started. and it tasted good. it snuck up on me, kind of thing. but, as mentioned, a more sober analysis would have understood the idea as a bad one from the start.

i don't have any reason to think i passed out and it implicitly almost seems impossible through a little deductive reasoning around my bicycle; i think this was a classic black out, not a drunken collapse. so, i don't think i was drugged. i may have even been babysat. i'm not missing cash or items. and, i do have some blurry recollection of the night: walking past slot machines, watching somebody play pool, talking to a bouncer...

it gets blurry around 3:30. but, it's a lengthy bike ride from hamtramck to midtown, and the staff told me i came in after 6:00, so it makes sense to think i was at the bar until around 5:00, hopped a lift back to where my bicycle was and then biked to the diner. in trying to remember the bike ride, i'm producing unreliable memories: i think i remember certain things, but i might be filling in holes through projection, and imagining the memories instead. like i say, it's blurry but i think i was conscious the whole night. but i remember ordering at the diner, and i remember trying to stay awake while eating it.

my bicycle was locked outside the diner, so i must have driven it there. i guess the other possibility is that somebody drove it there.

the staff said i came in by myself, but there was a bag beside me that didn't belong to me and i was wearing a sweater that wasn't mine, either. the thing is that i had a sweater locked up at my bike, so i must have been given the sweater at the bar. i think it was warm in there, though. so, this is a part of the night that i'd maybe like to understand better: why was i wearing somebody else's sweater?

the only other anomaly was that my makeup was a little more worn than normal, suggesting i either sweat a lot somewhere or maybe washed it off.

i don't have any stains on my shirt or on my clothes, so i'm confident i didn't spill anything. that might have been a reason for a sweater, but no. that's actually unusual; on a normal night out, i inevitably spill something on me. however, i may have dipped my hair in a drink, as there's a little bit of stickiness at the tip of it.

no bruises, cuts or lacerations.

no visible signs of entry, if you get what i'm saying.

so, it may not have even been obvious that i was that drunk. how's that for ironic.