for the record.

i have not had more than a handful of conversations with my mother about anything at all in roughly 15 years, and if you take out a brief period of six months when i did stay with her, i hadn't spoken to her for the ten years previously, either. i'm nearly 38 years old, and i haven't had a meaningful conversation with my mother since i was about 12 or 13.

while i was close to my father until his death in 2013, and actually have a better relationship with my maternal grandmother than i do with my mother, i haven't had a meaningful conversation with my younger sister in that time frame, either - and have really not spoken to her at all since my father's death.

what i'm trying to get across is that, while these people are technically my family, they are in every meaningful sense actually factually strangers. they don't know anything about me at all, and cannot be relied upon to provide the slightest bit of insight about me.

in the absence of any evidence, my mother no doubt interprets me through the filter of my father, which she interpreted through the filter of her own father. it is not possible for this process to lead to anything besides a fantastical projection, which, in the presence of her myriad mental health problems, can only produce a schizophrenic fantasy. the fact is that she would be unable to identify my thoughts or viewpoints from that of a complete stranger - because i am, in truth, a complete stranger, to her. she is not a reliable source of information.

my step-mother and i did not get along well, but at least she is not a stranger. yet, i would not present her as a reliable source of information, either.

if you must, please ignore my mother and especially ignore my sister and consult my grandmother or even my step-mother, instead.