i can sort of grasp that my absolute aversion to being around somebody that clearly tried very hard to be and legitimately wanted to be my friend may come off as galling or unbecoming. i don't fucking care, but i kind of get it.

the thing is that i don't like to be around people that are similar to me - i'm the me in the room, and i don't want to compete with anybody for the space. i prefer spending time with people that are individuals, people that represent their own viewpoints and have their own minds. agreement is boring; i want to debate.

so, if you're just going to insist on being me, i'd rather spend the time by myself.

to the extent that i'd want to spend time with anybody at all, i'm more likely to be attracted to opposites - people that counterbalance my weaknesses, and not people that accentuate my strengths. the latter is just inefficient and pointless.

not only do i not need the affirmation, i don't want it at all.