i mean, it's sort of a point of no return. i could flip-flop tomorrow and decide i want to be a dude, after all - however unlikely. once the testicles are gone, they're gone - and the testosterone is gone with them. that's it.
obviously, i've thought a lot about this, and if i'm having second thoughts, it's more about longevity than anything else. there's no question in my mind that i want to get to zero testosterone - i made that choice years ago, that's settled. and, the point is actually to take the stress off of my liver. but, i don't really want osteoporosis. chopping my balls off and getting osteoporosis from it at the age of 55 would qualify me for a darwin award, wouldn't it?
so, my lingering questions are about how safe this is and how it's going to affect my lifespan, rather than about whether it's what i want; there's no question it's what i want, but i also remember the words taught to me in a hymn, as a child: you can't always get what you want.
so, let me review the safety of this.
what i'll say off the top is that my testicles are likely a serious cancer risk, given that i'm not using them. i mean, this isn't going to be a monolithic thing, i'm going to need to weigh it out:
pros:
- removing testicles reduces testicular cancer risk
- getting off cyproterone is good for my liver
- increased serum estrogen is good for heart health
- increased serum estrogen may also increase iron absorption
cons:
- potential breast cancer risk
- osteoporosis?
- some chance of weight gain