i've become aware that somebody upstairs (i think my landlord) is trying to hypnotize me in order to detransition me. this is really out there, crazy stuff from my perspective, but a google search has indicated that sleep hypnosis is something that an assortment of quacks and lunatics have attempted over the years to "cure" "homosexuality". sleep hypnosis is not the only thing they're doing, but it's one of them.
they are trying to enforce a gay male identity on me. frankly, i think being transgendered is more sane than being gay and that if we are to clinicize one of these two things we ought to label homosexuality a mental illness before we label transgenderism one (after all, transgendered people generally come out of the process as straight in their preferred gender identities, and not queer), which is leading me to conclude that this person is more on the rad fem or greenwald part of the spectrum, rather than some kind of religious fundamentalist, and that is consistent with what i've been experiencing. you assume you're dealing with a christian or a muslim (a muslim is a more likely fundamentalist nowadays, in canada...) when you run into religionist bullshit, but the evidence consistently points to feminism as the religion that's driving this, rather than anything abrahamic, although there clearly have been muslims and arabs upstairs doing the actual dirty work.
i'm simply not a gay man. i've never had sex with a gay man. i've never dated a gay man. i've had kind of sort of relationships with straight men, mostly before i realized what was happening and kind of stopped myself from falling into it, but i've never had anything resembling any kind of gay encounter. i don't even have any gay friends. i am trans, but i don't call myself gay or queer and would aggressively reject being called homosexual in any sense. they're just wrong. but, they seem to think being gay is normal and acceptable and being trans is some kind of illness, when i think all evidence suggests the opposite, and that leads me to the conclusion that they would have to, themselves, be gay. my landlords were indeed presented to me as lesbians.
so, i've been recording myself sleeping to catch them, but they seem to have cameras in here (that i cannot find with an rf scanner), and stop the pseudoscience whenever i turn the recording on. it's frustrating, but if the disincentive works, it works, at least for now.
as such, i have hours worth of audio to sort through and while it's not picking their bullshit up, it is picking up sounds and other voices. as i am sorting through these sounds, i'm realizing i can get creative with this.
the rules for this project are that i'm going convert each day's worth of recordings into an industrial/ambient composition, and present the result as a series of demos to be completed when i get to 2024 in sequence, which could be quite a while. i want these to be compositions in the end, and not just soundscapes, but they will be dominantly sample collages, with the recordings as the sound sources.
this will be an entirely new project in the inri records catalog.
i want to actually get back to work, but i can't. they're constantly spying on me. they're hacking my network to try to steal my passwords and the best i can do is slow them down. they hack my camera system and break in here when i'm asleep. i can't stay online for more than a few minutes at a time. i think they want to steal all of my stuff and take over my youtube, blogger and bandcamp sites. rather than do all of things i want to do, i'm forced to fight with these losers that have no chance of actually stealing my things and that i want to just fuck off and go away. starting a new project that is a corollary of what i'm being forced to do, rather than do what i want to do (which is get back to completing the discography, in sequence), is making the best out of a horrible situation. so, let me get to it.
i don't know when this situation is going to resolve itself. these losers are actually enjoying this as they're competitive and capitalist lesbians that actually like to fight with the people around them rather than try to cooperate with them. they use references to football and also to chess. they think that evicting me and stealing my belongings is a game that they intend to win; i just want them to fuck off and go away. these are aggressive, dominant shitheads, which is a personality type i strongly dislike and go out of my way to completely avoid, but they don't get it, they just think i'm competing with them. it's exhibit a of why capitalism cannot coexist with real socialism; in a socialist society, you just simply can't tolerate losers like this, you have to send them on a one way trip to a different planet, or kill them if the technology to eject them into space doesn't exist yet.
i will have a better understanding of the situation in the first week of june, but i don't expect anything to change until the end of the summer at the earliest.