this is that faux-homophobe song again, and i'm going to call myself
out for it this time on two levels. i'm kind of uncomfortable uploading
it not once but twice, but i promised myself i'd upload everything, so
here it is.
i've been uncomfortable with this since i
wrote it, basically. i really hesitated for a while in releasing this.
it was one of the first things i recorded with my new 4-track (the
timestamp is jan 17, 1998), but it didn't make it to the first demo. it
only made it to the second demo in feb, 1999. with a lot of caution. i
ended up releasing it because i liked the fact that it sounded like
ministry.
in my defense, i should point out that these
kinds of songs exist in the punk rock tradition going back to the glam
days. ministry wrote a number of songs like this, ridiculing exaggerated
masculinity. this is what i was going for the second time around.
further, in the sense that the song is about me being picked on, i feel i
sort of retain the right to express myself about it.
where
it falls into trouble is it's level of ambiguity. it's meant to be
satire, but how is anybody supposed to know that? the answer is the
seinfeld line - and this was consciously inserted for that very reason.
yet, the signal that sends isn't "this song is sarcastic" so much as it
is "homophobes aren't the brightest people". that's really what the song
is about - i was getting picked on by people i didn't think were very
smart, and i was reacting by ridiculing their intelligence through
merely repeating what they were saying. this is meant to shock, and
that's where the track gets it's "edge".
we would refer
to such a thing nowadays as "hipster homophobia", and this is where i'm
calling myself out, here. my argument is essentially "it's ok to be
hateful if you're being ironic". but, that's not an argument i would
currently make - it's an argument that i'd argue rather strenuously
against.
again: i feel i had the right to express
myself here, and the song is anti-oppressive in it's intent. yet, i
didn't articulate that well, and sort of fell into a trap. i can
convincingly argue that i was a teenager and didn't really know any
better, but that argument necessitates that i correct myself.
the original version and write-up are over here:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that
recorded in jan, 1998.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/06-not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that