this is the remake of permission, which is really funky and neat, but i ended up rejecting it because the guitar solo directly lifts the ending melody from "the perfect drug". i don't really remember the logic behind how it got there in the first place (did i realize after or was it purposefully meant as a 'sample'?), but i do specifically recall saying "i can't use this". i think maybe i also thought the lyrics were sort of dumb, after all.
of course, a lot of the songs on those cassette demos recycle ideas from nine inch nails, and i've cringed a few times in uploading these songs, but in the context of the tracks mostly being experiments in learning how to record music it's less of a problem for me, in hindsight, then it could be. those were things that affected me, at that age. they're there for a reason. the cassette demos were never meant to be brilliant works of original art, or even for sale at all (and they never have been). it was just something i did as a sort of a release.
these cd demos, though, were meant to be more professional. there are a few awkward samples interspersed throughout them in ways that were meaningful to me and seem questionable now looking back, but part of the reason i redid these songs in the first place was to reclaim them from myself as entirely original pieces.
my sister's backing vocals have been replaced with myself, digitally altered. there's also a lot of electronic soundscaping: this is a substantially different piece of music than the cassette demo, which is here:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/permission
actually, i think i'm remembering that i put the 'sample' in on purpose because the vocals were so derivative, then kibboshed the whole thing.
yeah. i was playing the melody as i was testing levels, and i decided that it actually sounded really good - but that I couldn't use it, or i would be sealing the track as an outtake. i then decided that it should be an outtake anyways and went with it.
recorded in january, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/permission-2