i just took an enormous dry log of a giant shit - something i've been doing a lot lately - and it seems like the worst of it has passed with it, just leaving the actual headache, which i can mostly deal with. my calories have come up, but that bran is keeping me pretty regular, let me tell you. and, it's coming out extremely cleanly, too. it's the part before the headache that is leaving me impatient and frustrated. how do i stop this from happening?

the way it's been happening for i guess a few years, now, is that it starts with this blurred vision that is sort of like the climax of a mushroom trip. this is referred to as the "aura", but a mushroom trip is really the only way i know how to explain it - and it's actually extremely accurate, with the escherian patterns just floating by in prisms in front of me, in a way that makes it seem as though light is bending and separating. this then turns into numbness that starts in a wave from my head out to my extremities, moving from a palsy-type attack with the droopy mouth into something that feels more like a stroke. and, when that wave has passed through me, i'm left with a throbbing headache - and extreme tiredness - that can last up to 48 hours and usually requires a day or two worth of sleeping to shake off. it tends not to go away until i go for a walk or a bike ride - just go out and get some fresh air.

it seems to be triggered by dry air, car exhaust, second-hand smoke & general pollution.

tonight seems a little better, but i know better - i'll be knocked out as soon as i'm done trying to move the air out and cleaning up the consequence, and i'll no doubt be asleep until tuesday.

ugh.