also: when i was a child, i never cried.

not that i remember, it's what my mom said.

i was apparently highly non-vocal all around, but just started talking in full, flowing sentences one day, out of the blue. it was apparently concluded by some doctors that i had decided against speaking. i just didn't want to talk.

was i an existentialist as a toddler? was life already so absurd, that there wasn't any point in speaking? did i realize that nothing good comes out of arguing, so i'm better off being quiet?

in hindsight, i don't think this is far from the truth. i might suggest that what was happening was actually a lack of emotion, and reflective of a personality disorder; i was a little sociopath, really. aren't all toddlers sociopaths? not in an introverted sense, like this.

she says it was clear that i understood her, but i just refused to actually respond. until i did, one day. and instantly converted myself from a borderline autism case into a highly precocious gifted gift.

fine lines.