i'm going to check my mail tomorrow and wonder what shuffled out into the bushes, only to look around the corner and see there was actually just a fat kid standing out there eating a pile of cooked cow and farting into my window the whole time.

and, he'll just blink. and ask me if i'd like some.

"oh, no thank you. but what are you doing?"

no response. just eating, and looking the other way and...shit...incoming...run...

and, then what?