and, just to clarify a point, for people that like imagining things. because i know you do.

sarah was not a high maintenance, prissy girl in any way. she came from a decidedly lower class family in a small town outside of ottawa, and was home schooled by christian parents up until grade 6 or grade 8. she then went to either junior high school or high school. hey, i can't actually remember that, because i wasn't there.

the stories she told me about her childhood included doing things like acting out lord of the rings in the forest. she told me stories about animals that she befriended as a child, when she had more of a farm. she had a strange, almost disney-esque kind of concept of wildlife, but she wasn't living in a princess delusion.

she would sometimes wear eyeliner in patterns on the side of her cheek, or otherwise play with makeup in unexpected ways, but she was actually morally opposed to things like cover-up and lipstick, and she'd give me shit for it if i put it on. she thought it was fake.

her hair is naturally light, but she often darkened it. she at times had extensions or dreadlocks.

she was staunchly pro-life when i met her; at the time, it wasn't very important to me, but i didn't particularly disagree with her, either. i didn't really have a defined opinion on abortion until years after we broke up. well, i never really had to think about it - to me, a part of supporting female autonomy meant i avoided taking a position on something i'd never have to deal with. i just respected the concept of complete agency, on this. but, it's also a different type of issue in canada, because it was never really up for serious debate. i guess my position was that if you don't want an abortion then you shouldn't have one, and if she said she didn't want one, i didn't push her on it.

i mentioned that she had a basketball scholarship. she had a muscular, athletic physique with minimal curves and almost no breast growth. there was a time when we had the same hair cut and dye job, and were consequently frequently mistaken for sisters; but, she was also from time-to-time mistaken as my trans girlie bf, kind of thing. i could outgirl her without a lot of effort.

in short, sarah was a tomboy that was just coming into herself during the period we were together. she got what she wanted not via vavoom voluptuousness or piles of goopy make-up, but via sheer insolence and outright aggression - she would just grab people and start fucking them, in ways that were often borderline assault.

so, don't confuse yourself, here.

a part of the problem is that she was insecure with me, because she thought - perhaps correctly - that i was a more attractive female than she was.

and, a big part of our relationship was that role reversal. she dominated me. unapologetically.

i'm sure if somebody saw us duck out here or there, they'd be imagining certain things, because that's how guys are. but, you need to have the right mental image: i was an effeminate trans girl at the very start of my transition, and she was a pretty dominant bitch.

i'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to imagine.

but, you could always find somebody else to jerk off to.