i just bought an entry-level hardware firewall with no wireless.

 

my network is designed for use, not to keep out loser gamer boys that want to set up servers for bitcoins. eww. my routers have no firewalls at all.

i don't know if it will work or not. i set up a security camera, and they just walk in and turn it off.

i'll have to experiment. at the least, it should help me better understand what they're doing and help me actually catch them.

ugh.

they just somehow managed to kill the mft on an sd card i had pictures on. everything's recovered. that's not the point.

i had essentially all of my pictures from last year disappear, and i felt like they were stolen but wasn't sure. it might have been a system error. it's more clear now what is going on.

my neighbours are trying to steal my pictures, and succeeded in stealing a lot of them last year. i don't quite know why yet, but it seems like they want to present them as picture of themselves. they may be trying to sell them, and there may be some prostitution involved.

this is utterly pathetic, but it's the reality i'm living through, as my landlord systematically attempts to steal my identity.

some new pictures, where i'm finally starting to look a little more like myself. it should be a strawbery blondish and i expect chinnish or longer by early to mid may.

i shoud have cleaned the mirror, but i'm still experimenting with things like exposure levels on a couple of new devices. these pictures are taken on the music device. there's a few coming up that were taken on the new vlog camera, which have greater exposure. 

video:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/RkGEZFNDoLqw7hsy9

the download is still going.

i'm not a hacker. i have an entry level programming degree, which means i can write basic applications in c and java and have been introduced to different approaches to programming, like that found in scheme or lisp. i have no experience with modern languages like python or ruby and would not be able to keep up in a conversation about new programming languages. i have minimal experience with non-windows operating systems. the programming degree was degree #2, and was taken in a cynical move to find employment, which i realized was a mistake precisely because i'm not a computer nerd in that sense. i'm an artist, author, musician, etc that uses computers to construct their art, but i'm not into gaming or scripting or anything of the sort.

i get the impression that my small internet following thinks something different, and all i can say is that i'm aware that i have this audience in the dark web that thinks i'm some kind of next-level guru but that the truth is that i'm a human being that can only absorb so much knowledge and can only know so much about so many things. hacking is not my thing, i would consider it tedious and boring. it follows that i'm actually an easy target in a lot of ways, because i have no interest in or experience with this kind of thing but am rather strictly interested in creating and distributing art. i don't want to fight over property on a network, that's fucking boring.

however, the fact that i spend so much time in front of a computer and that i do have some background in programming means i'm likely to learn and adjust much faster than most people. i might be an easy target to begin with, but i'm going to put up a fight, too, with the intent ultimately to catch the fuckers and throw them in jail rather than win some kind of turf war. if i catch you hacking me and can prove who you are, i'm not going to post P4NED!!! on a message board somewhere, i'm going to call the cops and have you thrown in jail as long as i can get you thrown in jail for. i have no tolerance for this kind of harassment, as there is no place for it in a free society.

i'm pretty sure that the attack vector that the hacker (who lives upstairs, i'm certain) is using is a cr-lf injection attack:

https://owasp.org/www-community/vulnerabilities/CRLF_Injection

what they've been doing is managing to steal my passwords as i'm updating them by writing to my passwords file via the cr-lf attack, which they know i have because they have a camera in my apartment and are watching me all of the time. the attack they're using is buggy, as i've found it by pulling binary symbols out of my passwords list that must have been inserted via the injection attack itself, but what they're trying to do is keep my passwords list static while they get the new, updated versions. 

so, let's say i go to update my amazon password. if they manage to "get me", what happens is that my passwords list reverts to the previous password, while they steal the new one. then, they have my new password, and i only have the previous one.

i've been able to recover everything except one gmail account because i've had previous passwords and recovery options. but, this has been a frustrating pain in the ass for weeks, now, and i don't know what to do except avoid it.

the solution, from my end, is to make sure that i don't past any cr-lf characters anywhere. ever. at all. i'm bouncing back and forth between windows and linux machines recently, so this is a real concern.

i also need to put a call out to major servers like google and bandcamp to update their servers to stop this from happening. i can only do so much, as a user, in the face of an overwhelming assault. the problem is ultimately on their end and not mine.

i'm trying to get the cops involved, but i need to get them evidence, and i'm in a catch-22 around it.

yeah, it ran out of space on a 30 gb partition.

let me try an 80 gb external drive.

this website is apparently over 10 gb of text. as i'm using an old computer to mirror it, i had to retry the mirror by moving it to a secondary drive and i may have to use an external drive for a third attempt. this is unexpected, to say the least.

a while back, i posted that i wanted a way to upload a pdf file to a website to mail it and i found it:

www.postgrid.com

i just received my first letter mailed to myself, which is a packing label for a sendle pickup (as the price of fedex was crazy and canada post wouldn't let me sign in). this is how i'll mail my taxes this year, as well.

i want to be clear about this point when this is over.

i don't want to live with young people. i don't want to live in a party house. i don't want to live with drug addicts, drunks or smokers. i don't like there to be loud music or drug or alcohol use in my living space. i want the place that i live to be very clean and very boring, because the place that i live is the place that i learn, read and work. i do not party in the place that i live and very explicitly do not want to, i need that separation space.

i need to live alone. i do not want to have a partner. at all. ever.

please do not go looking for me in real life, as if i am not out and about it's because i don't want to be. i am a deep introvert that needs alone time away from human beings. i am not outgoing. i don't like to hang out. i am standoffiish and cold and rude. i need to be completey by myself for 19 out of 20 days of the month in order to enjoy being social for the one day, and if i can't have the time to recharge by myself then i won't want to spend time with people at all.

i'm a reclusve artist that needs to be alone.

i don't want you to come find me.

fuck off. go away.

i've published posts like this before.

the way the internet works right now is such that you can't trust anything or anybody. what was once seen as a means to perpetuate radical democracy, and perhaps was for a time, has become a tool of oppression and control. a blog like this cannot exist.

i don't know who is upstairs trying to control me. it suspect it could be the mob. it might be the russians. it might be an arab group, like the saudis. it might be the liberal party of canada. i have targeted a lot of people and organizations and made a lot of enemies, but it's always been in the name of open free speech. i'm reasonable and analytical, but that's the problem.

don't post political writing on the internet anymore.

type offline and distribute pamphlets.

i'm temporarily reposting what is left of this blog to mirror it locally. i will eventually need to remove this blog entirely, as it's been targeted by fraudsters, thieves, liars and scam artists.

the writing coming back up has been heavily vandalized; i cannot post here, the site is not secure. some combination of people i used to know thinks they have same authority to vandalize my art and nothing is apparently going to stop them. they have made it clear to me over the last few months that they delusionally believe that they own me and can do what they want with me.

any posts that don't come back up have already been removed and have been archived. i will need to unvandalize them as best as i can as i recombine them into a forward-flowing, readable document and they will be republished in a different format when i'm done. clearly, i don't have the time or interest to blog the way i used to, and it's largely because i'm being constantly hacked and vandalized by these fucking losers from my past that won't go away.

what is being temporarily republished here will be unpublished again as soon as i can pull it down.

there's a reason that israel is clearing out rafah, and it's hard to argue with it.

an evacuation route needs to be created and those evacuating need to comprehend that they will likely never be allowed to come back.

israel needed a heavy-handed response to get the point across that it won't ignore what happened. let this be a lesson to whatever remains of palestine when this is over with.

life's been awful, as i've been stuck with a full time job protecting my internet presence from being stolen by thieves upstairs that are ghosts from a past life. this is a nightmare scenario.

i'm currently downloading everything i can in the case that i have to rebuild, and i might.

i've been talking about the need to redesign everything from scratch for quite a while anyways and have been spending all of my time strategizing how to do so. i may actually lose access to everything very soon, which may force me to radically reapproach how i present my art.

i don't know if this is a serious attempt at theft or some kind of stupid game. i don't know if it's the unwanted editor appearing in real life, but i think that it is. i don't know if these people want to actually steal things from me or if they're trying to control me or if they're some kind of psychotic lurker.

i consequently don't know if this is going to require a hefty legal response from me or if the issue goes away over time.

i know that i need to take everything down and put it away somewhere safe and i know that when it comes back up it's going to be in a radically different format.

that is what i'm doing right now, i'm biting and clawing to protect my internet presence from being stolen in an aggressive and illegal takeover that is being orchestrated by my new landlord, in collusion with a lot of people i used to know.

it's becoming increasingly clear that the person trying to steal my internet presence is sean hansel and that it may be the case that he's been impersonating me online for years. he may have misled a lot of people. he seems to need some help.

this blog is written by myself, who has:

1) legal name: jessica parent

2) screen name: jessica murray (mother's maiden name, murray) or jessica amber murray

3) birth name: jason parent.

i am a post-op transfemale that has been on chemical hormones non-stop since 2008.

i run all of the blogs on the side.

i own all of the youtube accounts on the side and am the director and subject of all of the vlogs.

i run all of the bandcamp sites linked from:

inrirecords.bandcamp.com

i was and still am the owner of the jessica amber murray facebook page before i stopped using it.

i am inri, i am dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja, i am deathtokoalas and i am all the other usernames on the side and linked out to from the site.

all of the pictures in the photo archive are of me.

sean did some guest vocals on some demo tracks on five or six songs in 2002 that were finished as instrumentals years later. he did not write these songs, and had minimal contributions to them besides the guest vocals. 

i haven't spoken to sean since roughly 2010. i have tried to send him business emails related to the music and he has not responded. it's not clear to me whether he's maliciously lying to people or has lost his mind and actually believes he wrote my music and is otherwise the author of my various art.

somebody tried to take down my bandcamp site on thursday by claiming i was a "fraud", which disabled the sites as a prevention mechanism for further tampering. the site is back up and i seem to be ok.

i need to be abundantly clear that all of the pictures at all of my sites are of me and all of the music (including all of the vocals, excluding a handful of songs) is by me and all of the writing is by me. i can prove this.

i'm not the fraud, in context, i'm a victim of identity theft in slow motion, and of a criminal justice system that is so far behind the technology that i have to watch these bumbling idiots screw up fifteen times and then actually eventually succeed before i can react, legally. i know exactly what they're doing, but the police won't intervene until they actually do it. there is no such thing as "attempted cybercrime" or "attempted identity theft".

the people making these claims are post-truth nihilists and pathological liars that are connected to the guest vocalist i used for a few months in 2002, who is apparently trying to take credit for my art and has managed to convince some gullible young women. this would appear to be more about their sexual relationship than any sort of actual facts. i care about facts, i don't care about sex. facts always win in the end, even if lies can create immense havoc.

they are going to keep trying to steal my art and i will need to keep fighting them off. please be aware that this is occurring and that some dishonest people are taking credit for things they didn't actually do.

the parliament of canada should be held in contempt of court. this is a black and white s. 7 issue.

people are going to need to start breaking the law, i guess.

https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/news/2024/02/the-government-of-canada-introduces-legislation-to-delay-medical-assistance-in-dying-expansion-by-3-years.html

my legal name is jessica.

don't listen to people suggesting otherwise, they're lying to you in an attempt to steal things that belong to me.

i can acknowledge that a large percentage of trans kids will change their mind, but i don't think that's a good reason to stop them. when i was a kid, i planned to transition when i was older because i knew my family wouldn't support it; it was something that required a long-term strategy, and i didn't really get it in place until i was almost 30. yet, i also wanted to be a neurosurgeon when i was 10. i wanted to be a school teacher in my late teens, and regret the time i wasted studying math for that purpose; going to university to become a teacher was a huge mistake and an utter waste of time. we don't have laws preventing people from making mistakes, in general. it's ironic that these arguments are coming from self-identified libertarians, because it's actually nanny-state despotism to write laws to stop people from making mistakes. conversely, i wish i had talked to somebody about transitioning younger, because not transitioning (by putting it off) was also a mistake.

it seems like enlightened despotism to stop kids from making mistakes, until you realize it's arbitrary. transitioning young might be a mistake; waiting might be a mistake. going to school might be a mistake, or dropping out might be a mistake. getting married or dating whatever kid or a million other things might be mistakes. that's how kids learn, you have to let them make their own mistakes. on second glance, the truth asserts itself: it's authoritarian totalitarianism.

it's up to adults to provide information and support to kids to help them make the decisions they truly want, not to make decisions for them. adults should never make decisions for children, they should only act as support structures to allow the children to make decisions for themselves.

this is a major shift in the rhetoric from the israeli right (which has previously argued that gaza is the biblical philistine area), and while i'm not exactly going along with it, it's hard to comprehend exactly what hamas expected when it decided to rape and mutilate 2000 young women in broad daylight. if it's an overly broad sentence, it's not by much.

the refrain from the left has long been proportionate responses, and my position is that a proportionate response to this attack is necessarily pretty vicious and angry. 

i'm a responsible secularist and i know better than this, but i also see the justice in it. it really would serve them right to get wiped right out of the region. 

israel used to be a very secular, left-wing society but it was forced to change by the rise of islamic extremism and is now one of the most conservative societies in the world. the palestinians brought this on themselves; gaza may get what it deserves.

a better idea would be a very serious discussion about having gaza annexed by egypt, with an ultimatum that israel is going to move in if egypt doesn't take control.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/israel-gaza-hamas-netanyahu-biden-1.7099090

essentially all of the pictures on all of my websites are exclusively of myself (jessica), and the very small number of exceptions are very clearly marked.

anybody trying to mislead you otherwise is simply lying to you.