Wednesday, September 30, 2020

so, is my psyche trying to tell me i'm overwhelmingly attracted to noam chomsky?

hardly.

rather, whatever is happening in my body is happening outside of any psychological control, at all. if i can't suppress the male hormones, they're going to run their course - but that doesn't mean i'm going to enjoy it, or really react to it at all.

maybe a better comparison is to an insulin shot. you don't fantasize about proper sugar-regulation; it just happens whether you like it or not. 

and, because i just don't purposefully masturbate at all, or think about sex in much of any way, what's happening - and appears set to continue to happen - is just random, uncontrollable, unwanted spontaneous orgasms.

so, i'll be sitting there reading about ancient history, and just randomly orgasm.

i have a good sense of humour, and i'm sure i'll find a way to be ironic about it. but, i really wish it would just stop.