still no response from the doctor, so i sent a final fax, and we'll need to have it corrected at the follow-up.

it should only take a second to fix, so i don't know what the problem is. we'll find out on thursday.

i'm not feeling much better. what is happening? is it second-hand smoke? well, i'm not getting high from it. i know i can smell the drugs, and i know i'm having a bad reaction to it, but i have enough experience with marijuana to know what it's like and this isn't anything remotely like a pot buzz. when i went through this last year, it was more obvious that i was getting second-hand stoned, even if it felt like marijuana mixed with an unidentified stimulant - something i've never discarded in my mind. i tested positive for thc, remember. what i've been feeling lately is very different, it's just a wash of emotional "anxiety". what does that mean?

it's this kind of numbness, a dizziness, an absent-mindedness. it's an inability to focus, but it's also a really negative mood swing. i could describe it as feeling like i'm being squeezed, but that probably doesn't actually help much. is it the weather? it just won't stop raining, and just won't warm up, and i know i'm affected by it. maybe.

maybe it's cortisol. i talked about anxiety being hormonal, and wanting to check for specific levels of specific hormones in order to react. what i'm experiencing seems to be consistent with a cortisol build-up, meaning i might just need to get some more exercise - something i've already concluded, regardless.

the way to find out is to do a test.

i'm going to get up, make some coffee and eat. but, i suspect i may spend most of the day sleeping...