but, listen.

i'm not a "feminist guy".

i don't want to be a "feminist guy". i never did, and i would have rejected that label at any point in my life. if that's what you thought, you were wrong. sorry. and, if you want to measure me by that metric, you can fuck off - i don't want to be what you're projecting on me, at all.

so, i neither want to be the nice guy that's trying to get laid via careful psychological tricks, nor the asshole that's trying to get laid via brute force. i don't want to have sex in a male gender role, at all.

i'm a trans-female, and a "radical egalitarian", which means i don't see the issue of gender equality from a male perspective, but rather from a female perspective. i neither want to abuse nor protect women - i see them as equals, entirely. no caveats. i am merely one of them.

i am well aware that they don't always see me that way, but what's important is what i think of myself, and not what other people think of me. this isn't a democratic decision; i make these choices, whether you like them or not. and, you can accept it or fuck off. i'm not going to internalize your oppression.

and, what that means, in context, is, more often than i'd like it to be, emancipating myself from the expectations of specific types of behaviour pushed down by heteropatriarchy. it means looking you in the eye and saying "i entirely reject any expectation you have of me, at all".

so, again - you can call me names for that.

but don't be surprised when i embrace an identity that you seem to think is inferior, because i never wanted to be what you're accusing me of not being in the first place.

i am a first-wave feminist, in the sense that i both exude and expect radical forms of complete egalitarianism. i acknowledge that this will likely lead to negative outcomes for some women, but i encourage them to embrace that, anyways; equality is scary, but that doesn't mean giving into existential dread, it means conquering and overcoming it. i don't want the state or the religious bodies to protect anybody, via positive law or via informal social control mechanisms like heteropatriarchy. equality means women do not need protecting. equality means men do not have fiduciary responsibilities, and carrying forward with them out of some bullshit concept of chivalry is just enforcing further systemic sexism and gender inequality. the fact that radical egalitarianism and total equality may lead to poorer outcomes for some women is not an argument against it. i won't be consequentialist about it. i am not interested in concepts like "equity". i am in favour of a baptism by fire into the world of free decision making, and in letting those who will fail, fail. the safety net should be broad and catch everybody, including women failing to succeed in a world they are free to succeed or fail in. and, i understand that neither religious groups nor their mirror reflections in the fake-left progressive movement will like me much for this perspective; but, i don't like them much, either, and don't really care.

when i say i want to abolish patriarchy, i actually mean it.

i don't want to adjust it, or cherry pick data, or tweak it to anybody's benefit.

i want to uproot it entirely and flush it down the drain - even if that means women die on the street.

because my feminism is radical egalitarianism, not a desire for a system that gives women a helping hand to get ahead - which i think is sexist.

sorry.