what i want is the same thing that artists have always wanted: cheap rent, time to create and a community that is supportive of art as a vocation, which means support for alternative lifestyles.

there is a history of this on this continent. and, landlords have historically played an important role, by providing cheap housing to exist in. but, it's drying up here...the culture is changing, for the worse.

everybody just wants to tell me to get a job and start a family. it's depressing.

that doesn't seem to be happening in america. rather, there appear to be more like-minded people on the other side of the border who are all looking for the same escape - and a potential to build communities outside of traditional structures.

i'm not at the point of failure, yet.

i'm probably going to want to stay here for the winter, at least - even if it means bunkering in here for a frivolous appeal. i could potentially put another $5000-6000 away by paying the reduced rent and waiting out the process, which is less than i'll find anywhere else. it's not what i want, but it may be what i have to do.

and, if i can then take a few thousand dollars across that border, and use it for six-ten months of rent to get the basic tracks down, it might turn out to be my best option. my most productive option.

and, then, who knows what happens next.

i moved from ottawa to windsor on a couple of grand, while living on disability. there's nothing illegal about paying rent, right? as long as i don't work. surely i can get a few miles across that border.