ok, so i spent the night trying to work this out and i came to a startling conclusion - i have a virus on my system called windows. unfortunately, the competitors are worse....

i don't spend a lot of time complaining about this, because i've largely fixed it. windows is in fact highly configurable, and you can solve most of the performance problems associated with it by simply turning everything off. i was working as a tech agent for microsoft during the vista launch, and in the process learned a lot about it - i know how to clean the os up. so, yes - i'm running windows 7 on a nearly 15 year old laptop, and it has limitations, but i mostly don't notice them because it's stripped down to the core os functions.

but, the install is a mess. it's been moved to different machines a few times, and more than a few things are broken. i should reinstall, but this broken laptop has a broken optical drive in it, and my product key is....

i got the product key from carleton. it's legit, but it might be expired because i'm not enrolled there any longer. and, i'm coming to the conclusion that it's the product key that is causing me problems.

i decided to rip everything out - firefox, the network and the audio - and put it back together again. but, i stopped to eat and noticed something - the 90s laptop (which is now my tv) has a microphone slot in it. well, i could try, right?

what i wanted to test was what the server was rejecting, as the behaviour i'd experienced - it works sometimes - seemed strongly indicative of a server error. i mean, if the software was broken, it would always be broken. it seemed like something wasn't sending from the other side. is it rejecting my ip (apparently not, as i got a new one)? my location? my email address? or maybe just my browser...

i run chrome on the 90s laptop because it just loads up to youtube. i'd rather run firefox even there, but youtube is insisting on chrome given the hardware - i don't really have the choice. it's just a question of html5 standards; i can find an old version of chrome that can load youtube, but can't find an old version of firefox. if they would still allow flash, i'd be running firefox. whatever - it's a way to test.

...except i couldn't even load gmail in the browser. this is a similar problem - why do i need so much ram to launch gmail?

the netbook seemed like the more obvious choice, but it doesn't have a microphone in, so it's useless for the purpose. nonetheless, i could at least check the audio and i did - i can connect via the same ip over chrome.

it must be firefox, then, right?

so, i got the drivers installed and went right to the 32-bit install, as basic as i could get it. clean profile. give it a try - and it works. try again, and it doesn't. the server's blocking me, clearly, i'm thinking.

but, at this point i'm fed up, i've decided i'm just going to get a usb headset and use the netbook for the phone. that keeps google's spyware off this machine, anyways - a better option. great. so, let me get the 64-bit install back on...

...and it's just not running. at all.

it's the weirdest thing - i install the program without an error and then launch it and it just halts with ram at 25 megs. no error. no crash. just sits there, apparently waiting for something. what, exactly?

so, i'm thinking there's something corrupted, here. i take every file off the machine, remove every entry from the registry - same bullshit. i'm beat; at a loss. i'm thinking it's time to reinstall, but wondering if i even can.

out of that thought, on a whim, i decide to try it with the software protection service turned on. remember - i have almost everything turned off. that's why it's snappy.

bizarrely, it works, all of a sudden.

so, get this straight - windows was actually preventing me from launching the web browser, because i wasn't running the fucking product key checker. is that why the audio stopped working, too?

if i was to move anywhere, it'd be to linux, but i actually don't want to do that. i still run word 2003, for example, and just don't like the competitors. there's audio issues with linux. &etc.

but, the fuckers are out of line on this one; that's a valid product key, and there's no reason to be on my ass about it.