i understand that your stereotypical tranny wants to maximize feminization and minimize demasculinization, and it's largely because what they're really doing is carrying through with their own inverted male fantasies.

that's not me - i'm the opposite of that.

what i want is to maximize my demasculinization while moderating my feminization - or at least for now. and the reason is that, for me, this is more about suppressing my sexuality altogether than it is about carrying through with these inverted fantasies, that i don't actually have.

it's been hard to get that point across, because i'm supposed to be option (a) and am looked down upon as "not really trans" if i'm not all about embracing being a disgusting slut. this is supposed to be about sex, and nobody really likes it or really knows what to do when they bump into people where it isn't about sex.

but, i prefer the older literature that explicitly separated between transvestites (gay or straight men that basically cross-dress to get off) and transwomen (who tend to lean towards asexuality, and don't really demonstrate much of any kind of sexualized behaviour at all). that separation has really broken down, to the point that what used to be called a transvestite is now seen as a transsexual, and what used to be called a transsexual is seen....is just seen as a loser that can't be helped.

the bottom line is that i want my testosterone cut first. that's my prerogative. that's what i'm fighting for. boosting my estrogen isn't going to make me happier, if i can't get my testosterone down - i'm just going to end up crying in my apartment, with carrots rammed up my ass.