today's post is the first rabit is wolf recording with the alternate singer, sean, but it's just a tease, until it becomes my primary focus to start 2002 (which is only actually a few months, even if seems longer in the sequence). pretty much all of the tracks that i finished over 2002 were started in mid to late 2001, but only this track actually gets a release date in that space, as i was finishing up other loose ends and really waiting for the guitarist that initiated the thing, jon, to engage (and he never did). there were other things happening that fall that were distracting, as well - as anybody that lived through it no doubt remembers.

i at least had a larger base of commonality with sean, and had at that point known him for a lot longer, as well. we were in the same group of friends, but we went through most of high school without talking much. the commonalities were always defined by contradictions. so, for example, i was a giant nine inch nails fan at that stage, whereas he was huge into marilyn manson - a commonality, but quite the contradiction, too. we both spent all of our times in front of computers, but i was doing music and reading (and excelled academically), whereas he played tons of video games and did very badly in school. we were both exceedingly introverted, but i was a legit loner and he pretty much always had a girlfriend. i was into tortoise; he was into mogwai. i liked early industrial; he liked early post-punk. etc.

i talk about this a little more on the bandcamp pages, and the story will develop there, but i'm only stopping to take note of this because the presence of an alternate singer - in fact of anybody else in the recording at all - is something that dramatically sets these recordings aside as very different than my mostly instrumental output, or my often tertiary vocal additions, later on. the fact that i was writing for a singer also sets the tracks aside.

in a few moments of honesty, sean admitted that he was often trying to emulate the vocal tracks from my inri period, as he was one of the few people that ended up with a copy of the cds (iirc, by his request). he's also admitted that several of the tracks are actually about me. so, there's something deeper to allowing sean to front these pieces than may be initially apparent.

but, this phase is different, and requires that explanation - i am not singing on this recording (except in the acoustic demo, where the vocals are just meant as a placeholder for sean to eventually pick up on). that's somebody else...

this is catalogued nowadays as inri049. that's how long it took for me to get somebody else on a recording.

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rabit is wolf arose accidentally from the cynicide project (inri048), but produced far more material in the end. what happened was sean and i showed up to a few jam sessions and the guitarist (jon - it was his band) didn't, so we started writing some material without him... 

initially, the intent was to include rather than exclude jon but he quickly developed a disinterest due to a variety of obvious if never fully articulated reasons. i was playing guitar parts on the demos, which he couldn't deal with. we were doing joy division songs, which were outside of his sphere of interest. we were writing without him, which made him feel unimportant. we were talking about songs without drums, which he wasn't interested in at all. etc. however, he did record a guitar part (that i wrote) that was never replaced. 

upon release in 2014, this was a collection of demos from the first month of rabit is wolf, which included multiple versions of the title track and a joy division cover. in the end, none of this would be released in the form it's in here (which was only available for download), but it created a cohesive (if short) introduction to what followed that was self-contained in a historical context. stated differently, this was the first (post-punk) incarnation of rabit is wolf. 

in oct of 2017, this release was expanded to act as a comprehensive exploration of this track and made available for physical purchase. seven further versions were added: three from 2002, three from 2014/2015 and one from 2010. disc finalized on oct 21, 2017. 

i don't analyse sean's lyrics, but the subject matter is clearly that of contemplating suicide - i believe from the perspective of an imagined character. 

written and recorded in the fall of 2001. released on sept 6, 2014. expanded, re-released and finalized on oct 21, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of the track (track 11) appears on the rabit is wolf demo (inri057): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/rabit-is-wolf 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2002, 2010, 2014, 2015, 2017). 

released october 15, 2001 

j - bass, guitars, synths, programming, writing, production 

sean - vocals, writing 

jon - guitar performance (6-8, 10-11, 13)