try #2 left me with an amazing $0.25.

i skipped out on the stragglers. i mean, there weren't any, anyways. but, i kind of came to the realization around 12:30 or so that what i was doing was unrelatable to anybody walking by and if the point was to gather change then the chances of anybody walking by and stopping to appreciate what i was doing was negligible, because it was legitimately impossible to do so. i had most of autechre's discography (ripped from cds i bought, as it may be) on random in my mp3 player, which is just about the most abstract rhythm track that you could possibly imagine. i mean, autechre in sequence is wacky enough. but i had stuff from oversteps sequenced to stuff from confield, sequenced to stuff from amber, sequenced to stuff from tri repetae...yes, ++. and, when the suite from ep7 came in mixed with pieces of lp5, netlon sentinel and drane, that was just sublime. i was completely trapped in my own head. there was one person earlier in the evening that seemed to at least be able to empathize with what i was expressing, but his reaction was distant, if vaguely appreciative.

i mean, if you want to busk you need to play songs people know, so they can stop and sing along for a few minutes. that's supposed to be the ploy. i get it. i wasn't going to do that, though. i was reasoning that what i was doing was interesting enough that it would...i'd be throwing away a lot of the market, but i reasoned i'd hit a niche, if i sat there long enough. the realization i came to was that even that was incomprehensible, because the entire thing was just too abstract - you couldn't hear the music in my headphones, so you couldn't put what i was doing into context.

maybe i should phrase it like this: if anybody did come by and was able to understand what the fuck i was playing, that would be a person i'd want to jam with. that would be my collaborative unicorn, which i know does not exist.

that said, i greatly enjoyed both sets, despite only making $0.25 in total. it had been a while since i had really played my guitar at all, let alone played it in public. i kind of wish i was able to record the totality of the sound that existed in my mind, which was not just the autechre and the guitars but also the direction. it's actually something i've been wanting to do for a really long time. it will be a part of closing the discography.

for now, i just want to take a shower and get to bed.

but, does that mean i'm in for the weekend? as i was walking home, i thought maybe i was overhyping it, anyways. the weather is going to be unpleasant for most of the weekend. i'm going to make a decision about selling cds on thursday, but i'm leaning towards staying in. and, i'll have to make the same decision on friday, which is maybe a bit more open.

the reality is that i planned on not going anywhere this weekend. a part of the reason i'm backtracking is that the last two weeks were....last week wasn't bad but it felt too short, but what i really feel an urge to do is to make up for the week previous. that said, it was kind of silly from the start to think i could do all four nights. even if i had stayed in all month, that would have been a stretch. i should have settled on one night in the first place.

if the weather guides me towards friday, so be it. and, it means there's a few things i can wait on, too.

i'm not going to bother going back out in the morning, even if it stays dry. this was a reasonable idea, but it has demonstrated itself unfruitful, admittedly partly due to my own idiosyncrasies.